Engagement Reveal Advice

[MotherSoDear]

It hit me today that I am likely getting engaged in a few weeks. I have a feeling that it will happen on a day trip out of town and that night we will be with my family. The next day we could either visit his family or call. The quandary is how to reveal to our friends.

We've been together for 5 years. We share our best and closest friends. We have a close knit group of friends from college that is spread throughout the east coast. I guess it is both a blessing and a curse that we are not the first in our group of friends to get engaged. I just don't want any hard feelings with the reveal. I really want to call some of my closest girl friends and let them know first. (I can't wait to hear their squeals) There are a few guys that I feel should be some of the first to find out.

It's really the guys that I am concerned about not hurting their feelings. When some of them got engaged, they starting calling each of the guys. Well some were hurt that someone found out before them. Others have taken the route of emailing everyone (except 2 of my girl friends who are not on the list serve) via our list serve so that everyone finds our simultaneously if they check their email. Finally, others have taken the facebook route. I do not want to take the facebook route. I've thought about the email route with the guys. Send them a nice personal email card created just for us and then we call each one individually immediately following. I've also thought about sending them a link to a blog announcing our engagement and how he proposed.

Any advice? How are you going to reveal?

 

[faded264]

Honestly, (and this is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt), I think it sounds a bit childish for the guys to be upset that someone else found out before them. I mean how long before are we talking? Because the way you described it, it sounds like some of them only found out minutes or at most an hour before each other, and yet they're angry. If you really have to let them know all at the same time, then I would sound out the mass email. But that just sounds a little impersonal to me. You can only call one person at a time (or at most two, if you each call someone). I think they should respect that you're calling them on the phone to personally tell them and share the exciting news, and not ruin it for you by being childish getting upset/angry that someone found out before them.

Overall, do what you think is best. But I don't think you should have to worry about who to call first or how to contact everyone to avoid hard feelings. This is an exciting time, they shouldn't make you feel bad simply because you called them an hour or so later than someone else.

 

[amc80]

I agree with the previous poster. It's sort of weird that GUYS would care about the order in which they were notified. If I found out a someone was told before I was, I would just assume there was some reason, whether it be logistics, alphabetical order of phone list, etc. To be offended is a bit weird. The only way I could see caring was if it was a close friend and I wasn't told personally before a mass announcement on facebook. Other than that, who cares?

 

[Haven]

This sounds so strange to me, too--what a sensitive group of guys!

If I were you I'd just call my friends in the order that I feel like calling them when the moment happens. If some people are upset, that is really their issue and not yours. I think it would be so selfish of them to be upset with you when, as your friends, they should just be super happy and excited for you two.

This is an exciting time--I hope you can enjoy your engagement and really be in the moment and not let these kind of things ruin it for you.

 

[slg47]

This sounds so strange to me, too--what a sensitive group of guys!

If I were you I'd just call my friends in the order that I feel like calling them when the moment happens. If some people are upset, that is really their issue and not yours. I think it would be so selfish of them to be upset with you when, as your friends, they should just be super happy and excited for you two.

This is an exciting time--I hope you can enjoy your engagement and really be in the moment and not let these kind of things ruin it for you.

as usual Haven has great advice

I can share what we did-we called family first, and then sent an e-mail to a group of close friends. We did not post on facebook for a few days to allow FI's parents time to spread the good news.

 

[amc80]

I can share what we did-we called family first, and then sent an e-mail to a group of close friends. We did not post on facebook for a few days to allow FI's parents time to spread the good news.

That's my general plan. Call close friends and family and then wait a few days for people to get the save the dates in the mail, then post on facebook. It's weird that I'm looking forward to finally changing my status on there...ah, social media.

 

[shihtzulover]

When my fiance and I became engaged, we called a few close family members, and then sent a mass email to everyone else. There were just sooo many people to tell, and we didn't want to leave anyone out. We posted on facebook after all of that.