Engagement party--did you have one?

[musey]

Or are you going to?

 

[zoebartlett]

We''re not having one. A friend of mine offered to throw one for us or give me a shower, and I thought a shower would be fun.

 

[musey]

I didn''t even know they existed for the non-debutante set before got engaged! I went out to dinner with some girlfriends and they called it an "engagement party," but I''m fairly certain that doesn''t count

 

[NewEnglandLady]

No engagement party or shower here, either! Friends and family offered, but it was a personal decision on my part. I did compromise by having a low-key bachelorette party, though, which was so much fun!

 

[Cleopatra]

I''m having one - not of my own will - The FI''s godmother and aunt want desperately to throw us one....so we agreed.

Our families are known for bringing gifts for every occasion - so even if we ask not to bring gifts, they will surely show up with something....

SO, FI''s aunt is making a theme party for us - It''s called "Stock the Bar" - if you feel that you MUST bring a gift, we''ll make it easy for you - bring a bottle of wine for the party!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/27/2007 4:09:35 PM
Author:musey
Or are you going to?

We did! We had originally planned to be married in April -- a job change postponed things -- and we had friends from out of state who had already booked their flights. So we had a Mexican Fiesta complete with a fajita buffet and great music. It was a good way to include some folks who will not (because of the small venue and our budget) be coming to the wedding. We were able to have it in our church parish hall (we''re Episcopalian), complete with beer (because we''re Episcopalian!), so the only real expense was food and drink.

 

[goldenstar]

We had one and I'm so glad we did. It was a joint venture between me, FI and my mom. We had about 50-60 guests. I was a little worried at first, since my large extended family was meeting FI's parents for the first time. But everything went GREAT and everyone got along and had a good time. It was seriously in the top 5 happiest days of my life!

I had such a fun time ordering invitations, getting decorations and planning the food and drinks. It was such a good way for the familes to meet and also for friends from both sides to hang out.

I really recommend it. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

[luckystar112]

Oh my gosh...you have no idea how much better I feel knowing that other''s haven''t had them. I felt like I was missing out on something.

 

[sap483]

We had one. My parents threw us one last month. I was almost dreading it as the guest list was large (125 people) and heavy with their friends, but it was actually a lot of fun. It was nice getting to see some of my relatives that I probably wouldn't have seen anytime soon otherwise. Everyone was also very generous, and gave us many nice gifts from our registry and cash which we also didn't expect. It was also like a mini warm up to the wedding because I got to pick out invitations and make centerpieces, etc.

 

[Pandora II]

FI hired a private room in a bar near our house and stuck some $$ behind the bar. Then we invited everyone we knew. It was far enough ahead that it didn''t matter if we invited people who would be at the wedding or not. We didn''t invite families - though my brother did drop in as he lives in London too.

We had it on Valentines, which was great as all our single friends had something to do that night and all the couples either celebrated with us or dropped in before or after going out.

 

[snlee]

I didn't have an engagement party. I'm surprised at how many people didn't have a party!

 

[ephemery1]

We had a joint engagement party with our friends who''d also just gotten engaged. My best friend/MOH threw it for us... but it was really just an excuse to get dressed up and have a wine and cheese party.

We requested "no presents", and it was just friends and younger family... no parents or aunts/uncles or anything.

 

[april diamonds]

I voted Yes although technically we didn''t really have one. My sister was going to throw a joint one with my nephew''s 1st birthday party (my idea because I adore my nephew so much AND I ddin''t want to have invite the relatives ''ALL'' the way out to NJ again - they think traveling anywhere outside the 5 bouroughs to be SUCH a trek).

However, I had to go away on a business trip the week of the party! So I ended up missing my own party! Haha...no actually, we just told everyone it was a birthday party only, but my sister was nice enough to get us a cake my FAVORITE bakery IN my wedding colors. Close friends came over the day I arrived back and we ate it with left overs from the birthday party.

So I sorta consider that an engagement party because I had goood cake, good company, and good fun.

 

[KimberlyH]

We didn''t and I don''t feel we missed out on anything; I didn''t have a shower or a bachelorette party either and was a-okay with that too.

 

[TravelingGal]

I''m sure this will shock everyone...but..

heeeeeeeeeell no.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/27/2007 7:49:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m sure this will shock everyone...but..


heeeeeeeeeell no.

LOL TG! What?? No gooey pre-wedding celebrations for TGuy and TGal? I can''t believe my EARS!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/27/2007 8:14:03 PM
Author: musey

Date: 8/27/2007 7:49:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''m sure this will shock everyone...but..


heeeeeeeeeell no.

LOL TG! What?? No gooey pre-wedding celebrations for TGuy and TGal? I can''t believe my EARS!

*snicker*

Yeah well, honestly it didn''t even occur to me to have one. We were engaged, everyone was happy, end of story. I can see why people would like to have them though...everyone loves a party! But I''d rather go to one than be the reason for it, myself.

 

[labbielove]

I had a small-ish shower thrown by a close friend at her home for family and a few friends

we''re having an engagement party (or as fmil calls it a ''meet and greet'') 2 weeks before the wedding a fil''s home for their friends who we''ve not yet met (they aren''t invited to the wedding, guess fil''s want to show us off or something...lol)

 

[San Diego Bride]

we were pretty low-key. we celebrated our engagement with a bottle of champagne and a few friends right after it happened, but we didn''t have a party. i didn''t have a shower either. it was a good decision for me. i think it''s fun going to other people''s events, but didn''t want them for myself. i also think it can get quite cumbersome with gifts... engagement gift, shower gift, sharing the cost of the bacholerette party, wedding gift.

 

[Harleigh]

Don''t know that we''re against having one, but no one has brought it up, so I guess not!

 

[MMM]

we didn''t have one, and i also feel better hearing that many other people didn''t either. at the time it felt like we were the only ones missing out on the fun!!

basically, i was kind of disappointed we didn''t, but mainly because my fiance''s sister got engaged about 6 months before us and her wedding was about 6 months after our engagement.... so i think we were kind of lost in the mix. and my fiance''s sister and her fiance (confused yet?) had this really big, beautiful, fun engagement party thown by my fiance''s parents but no one offered to throw us anything : ( even something small...

oh well... my family is just not as equiped as his to throw parties... and i''m not holding my breath to have the engagement party, wedding shower, destination bachelorette party, bridesmaids brunch with mani/pedis, wedding weekend kickoff party, and morning after brunch that surrounded her big day. oh yea, did i mention there was also a wedding! wowza!

 

[ladyciel]

I said no, because I don''t expect we''ll have one. We might go out to the bar/dinner with friends to celebrate, but I don''t expect a party will be thrown. My family is too scattered for them to do anything for us, and I expect if FF''s family does anything it''ll just be dinner at the local pizza place because they have tables big enough to hold everyone w/o reservations. I think the only thing we might do that would be party-esque would be a small dinner party at our apartment for a handful of friends where everybody eats from their laps because our table only seats 4. And, really, if we do that it''ll be because I like an excuse to cook for my friends.

 

[dtnyc]

Nope- MIL was hit by a car about a month after we got engaged, so it was then inappropriate to have a party. My parents were planning an engagement party for us (would have been first time parents had met one another) but shelved the plans because it would have been an inappropriate time to celebrate since MIL was in the hospital, unable and then unwilling to travel.

 

[asscherisme]

Nope, did not have one.

My husband is from NYC and some of the engagement parties of his friends were unreal. Like wedding receptions. BIG bucks. I had no desire to have one myself.

 

[Cleopatra]

asscherisme - I hear you! I went to an engagement party this weekend where there were 250 people who attended, there was a DJ, an open bar, tons of food, and a replica of the wedding cake that they ordered for the wedding!!!! It was just insane the amount of money that must have been thrown into this engagement party - by the way - this was their SECOND engagement party in 2 months! Wow!

 

[Krissie]

We''re just throwing ourselves an informal "engagement brunch" at my flat in a couple of weeks (approx 6 weeks after we got engaged). We''ll have 14-16 people -- just close friends -- and I''m coming up with the menu! Thus far I''m thinking some salads and finger-type foods that can be eaten throughout the day.

Mimosas and Bloody Mary''s
Blueberry muffins
Cheese and leek tart
Individual sausage mini quiches
Cranberry and almond cold couscous salad
Pasta salad
Baked brie
Fruit salad
Baked crab rangoons

 

[Independent Gal]

I only heard of engagement parties about a year ago. none of my friends have had one. None of my friends have had bridal showers or bachelorette parties either. I think my friends would think it was weird / selfish to have lots of parties, especially if we 'expected' gifts. We're older and everyone is busy with career, kids, mortgages, etc.

That's not saying anything about whether anyone else should have one! Just in my circles, it ain't done.

Besides, I think WP1 + WP2 will be P L E N T Y for me, thank you very much.

That said I'm having a pre-wedding 'girls weekend' with some grad school friends who now live in San Francisco. And if I can still afford it after the TWELVE GRAND special assessment, I'll probably go traveling somewhere (Sri Lanka? Chile?) with one of my pseudo-bm's around xmas time. Hurray for getting airmiles as birthday presents!

ETA: The night we got engaged, the two of us had our own personal engagement party. We got VERY drunk on champagne and ate way too much fantastic food at one of our fave restaurants. I hardly ever get drunk. It was SO MUCH FUN. Except waking up in the middle of the night feeling

and thinking 'I'm too old and too engaged to behave like this!'

 

[Tacori E-ring]

My parents threw us one but it was very laid back. It was nice since I got to see people I hardly ever get to (and DH got to meet some people like extended family) since we live out of state. His parents and sister flew done for it so it was nice for them to meet some of my extended family as well (grandmothers, aunts, uncles, etc...)

 

[sumbride]

My parents threw us one in April and it was a big to do. It was all their friends, in a room of an art museum, with a piano player, a bar, and a buffet. It was lovely, but it reminded me of why I DON''T want to do a receiving line at the wedding. I shook hands for 2 hours. Well over 200 people. And that was only about half the guest list because it had been a popular night for events. Some made them all though... one guest told me she''d been to the wedding across the street, the school event, and was heading to the banquet, and then the dance. I was impressed. It was nice for us because I''ve been away from "home" for a long time now so my mom''s friends don''t really know me "all grown up" and it was a good introduction before the wedding. They feel like they at least know who the wedding is for now.

FI''s mom and her SO were there and FMIL got completely overwhelmed. Then I said "the wedding will be at least twice as big." Her eyes got wide and I snickered internally.

Ours wasn''t a present occasion, although we did get a few, but it was a nice chance to say "here we are! we''re getting married!" before we get married. And it created quite a buzz for the wedding. Marketing genius on my mom''s behalf, I suppose.

 

[Independent Gal]

Summer you''re so lucky to have such doting parents!