Engagement Parties

[janinegirly]

just curious how common these are? It hasn''t crosssed my mind till recently and I haven''t really been to any in the past. What is the main purpose and what are factors leading a couple to decide for/against it? thx!

 

[goldenstar]

I would say that the main purpose is for family and friends of the couple to meet each other, if they haven''t already, and to get to know each other better. Its also just a way to celebrate the engagement.

 

[Imperials]

I have heard of engagement parties but I have not had any friends actually have one. When I get engaged I really want to have one because my family and my bf''s family have never had an opportunity to meet. I am uncertain if that is the purpose for them but that would be why I would want one.

 

[aljdewey]

Only one of my friends did this.

In her case, she was engaged 12/05 and will marry in 9/07, so it was a way for them to celebrate the occasion of getting engaged even though wedding was so far off.

 

[Mara]

we did one....my parents wanted to do it so we said okay...it was low-key and fun and everyone had a great time..it was pretty small, like 40 people and done on a summer afternoon in an outdoor hotel courtyard with a catered buffet, and my mom got this little band she liked to play. and we had a friend who was very handy with the camera take pictures, it was great. we got engaged in jan of that year, the party was august of that year and we got married next may. also greg's mom flew out and met my parents then as well.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Most ppl have them nowadays I think, at least in my part of the country. For us our immediate families had met before and all so that wasn't the "reason" for the party. Our party was just to celebrate our engagement and upcoming marriage. It was a lot of fun and I'm very happy that my parents threw us such a fab party! I know some invite everyone on their wedding guest list but we kept ours smaller with mostly just our families.

ETA: We just had ours this past weekend! Check out my post in BIW board for more info.

 

[anchor31]

We were supposed to have one, but those of you who read my "in-laws trouble" thread know what happened...

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We had one a year before our wedding. It was a great way for my FILs to meet my extended family and to celebrate *finally* being engaged.

 

[ljmorgan]

The purpose of an engagement party is to ''announce'' the happy engagement news to family and friends. Of course in today''s times, most of your family and friends will know very quickly! We had an engagement party and we had a lovely time -- it was wonderful to celebrate with our family and close friends. We had an afternoon sit down meal on the waterfront, and it was great.

 

[monarch64]

I''ve been to a few...usually as described above they are given by either the bride-to-be''s or the groom-to-be''s family/friends, and are meant to be a bringing-together of families and celebration of the occasion of the engagement. When we have attended these parties, I''ve gotten the couple a small gift (champagne flutes, barware, etc.) that won''t necessarily be on their registry, but isn''t toooo bridal giftey, if you know what I mean. I believe crystal is the "traditional" engagement party gift, although it''s been awhile since I''ve attended one, and I could either be wrong or outdated. Champagne, flowers, sterling or crystal frames, to mark the occasion all seem like logical gifts to me. DH and I did not have a formal engagement party, but the night he proposed to me on a beach in downtown Chicago where we saw our first sunrise together, we came back to the suburbs and about 4 other couples we were friends with met us at a martini bar and that was our celebration. No one brought gifts, since it was a very informal get together, but it was still nice to celebrate with other important people in our lives. Actually, today (Dec. 14th, is our "engagment anniversary," lol! Dh is somewhere in the U.S. right now traveling on business...when he called earlier I wished him a "Happy 4th year engagement anniversary" and he just laughed and told me he remembered. Hee hee, who knows if he remembered or not, but whatever....he remembers my birthday and our anniversary, so that''s about all I can ask for, lol.

 

[blushingbride]

We also had one - I got engaged on August 29th and the party was November 4th (getting married August 25, 2007). We actually had a brunch with my family and his family during the day and then we did a double whammy - Engagement/Housewarming party that evening since we had recently moved into our new condo. We invited about 45 people to the evening party who were just siblings, younger cousins and our friends. We had it catered and made sure the bar was fully stocked!

Since our building also has a lounge, we brought the guys out to the terrace for cigars and some people were able to play pool and hangout. It was definitely a great time!

Oh the other thing is that we made sure that we were registered because even though our invitations did not mention our registries or gifts, people still brought a gift. Most people found out where we were registered through word of mouth and it was a nice way to get the things we needed.

 

[robbie3982]

FI and I sort of had 2. We got engaged at the beach during his family vacation. We were already planning a Fiesta on one day so they decided to make it the fiesta/our engagement party. The only thing that really made it an engagement party, though, was that people kept toasting to us w/ their coronas. Lol.

Our second "engagement party" wasn''t really about us, but more about my family meeting his. His parents had my parents and sister over for dinner. It was a lot of fun.

No one really asked us if we wanted either, but they were fun.

 

[Scooba]

I had 2 since FI and I are from different states, my parents hosted a pretty formal one at a private yacht club to which about 60 people came, and then his parents hosted a more casual one with a tent in their backyard to which about 80 people came, both of our immediate families traveled to both and they were awesome, you would want one because parties are fun!

 

[cutes814]

we didn''t have one and i was fine with it. we just told family and friends over the phone/in person. we''ve been living together forever and we have a daughter together so people were expecting it to happen for the longest time.

 

[ladykemma]

where in the literature/etiquette books does it say crystal is a gift for engagement? I''ve never heard this... is this new fad?

While i have never been to one, it seems like another gift grab to me..sorry, folks, but when i have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift, I am not about to give an engagement party gift too. huh?

 

[galeteia]

I always thought that engagement parties were an opportunity for everyone to let out a "Wahoo! Congratulations!" en masse. It''s also a chance to have a party where extended family members and friends are present sans funeral, where granny gets to holler out stories about when she got engaged as a young girl and for people to bring over and/or eat massive amounts of finger food. Also lots of squeeing over the sparkly thing on your finger.

Lots of toasts, good wishes, and general merriment without the stress of a ''big event'' like a wedding.

 

[Dandi]

Here in Australia most, if not all engaged couples have them, usually a couple of months after the engagement. Ours was a semi-formal do,and we split it into two parts: in the earlier part of the night, starting at 6:00pm we had a fully catered, sit down dinner for the older relatives who wouldn''t be out as late, and the immediate family (parents, brothers, grandparents etc.), so about 20 people. At 8:00pm the rest of the guests attended, there were about 120 people or so, all extended family and friends. We held it at a function hall that is often used for 21st birthday parties and wedding receptions, and it was really lovely. It''s really a means for both sides of the family to get together, which they don''t often do, and I guess a chance for our friends to congratulate us! Bridal showers aren''t really traditional here, so the engagement party is a big gift-giving fest too! Most people tend to give housey things like cutlery, clocks, crystal glasses, vouchers etc. Closer to the wedding the brides have Hen''s Nights - a themed all-girl night out where the bridesmaids dress the bride up usually in a ridiculous wedding veil and play silly pub-crawl type games (sounds tacky but they can be heaps of fun!); and the grooms have all-boys Buck''s Nights... is that commonly done worldwide or is it just an aussie thing?

. For my Hen''s Night we''ll be going to the racecourse as it''ll be that time of the year, and getting all dressed up in nice dresses and hats. A bit more classy than a pub crawl, but each to their own!

I dread to think what poor FI''s mates are going to subject him to on his Buck''s Night...

 

[Dandi]

Plus it was a chance for us to make a general thankyou to all that attended, and for our parents to make several mortifying speeches about our childhoods, when we first met, etc etc

 

[ephemery1]

We got engaged in June and had a fun, low-key wine and cheese party hosted by MOH in August... along with another couple (who shares our MOH), which made it even more celebratory! We kept it fairly young and informal... no family other than cousins and siblings... just friends. And specified "no presents" on the invite!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 12/17/2006 6:51:24 PM
Author: ladykemma
where in the literature/etiquette books does it say crystal is a gift for engagement? I''ve never heard this... is this new fad?

While i have never been to one, it seems like another gift grab to me..sorry, folks, but when i have to give a shower gift and a wedding gift, I am not about to give an engagement party gift too. huh?

When we were supposed to have our engagement party, it was going to be a very informal affair in restaurant, just so that immediate families can meet. No presents or anything.