elopement experiences?

[Markie]

I know there has been a million threads on here about eloping, but basically what I am looking for is anyone who has done it and how they felt about it afterward. I really want to elope, partially because of the money but partially because I want the day I get married to be a day about me and my BF only. I don''t want to have to worry about the other people in my life and my family and his family and the drama that will ensue. The one thing I will regret is if i don''t have a pretty dress and feel like a princess and get great pictures, but I think it is possible to elope and still get pictures of me looking like a bride. We can throw a party later and as far as I know my parents would be fine with that (my sister might be pissed initially, but she would forgive me) and I don''t know about his parents, but they aren''t particularly supportive anyway so BF and I agree that not having them there would be easier anyway. BF doesn''t mind eloping, he wants me to have what I want on the day. So... those of you that eloped, did you regret it later? Was it everything you hoped it would be? Did you have anyone there, a best friend, a sister, a mom? did you tell people beforehand or did you truly elope and tell everyone later? Not sure if this is the right forum, as most of you here are planning a wedding or an elopement, like me, so if not tell me where to move it.

 

[AZWildcat]

I eloped in 2000. Me and my husband had been dating for nearly 6 years and shared our home and had children together. I was and still am close with my family, he wasnt and still isnt close with his and i couldnt stand most of his extended family and they would have ALL had to be invited. We had received a trip package to Las Vegas and decided that we would marry there. I have only one sister and I did tell her, and she was supportive. My wedding was just me, my hubby, the chappel witness/cashier/florist and a minister/elvis. After the vows were exchanged we made phone calls from our hotel to say we were married. We got congrats from MY family including my mom and dad, and well we got less than stellar comments from his, which completely made me happy i didnt shell out a couple thousand for those LOSERS to attend MY wedding. In the end it was about just me and my husband as it should be. We didnt have to focus on the photogs, music, band, food, dress, flowers, etc... There are times when i wish i had gotten to wear the fancy white dress but then i realize that hey weve made it 14yrs, 8yrs of those being married and not many people can say that now a days. As for the dress i saw lots of women in fancy and lovely bridal gowns and men in suits and tuxes so if you want the dress, i say go for it! thats the beauty of eloping you can wear a fancy gown or blue jeans, plus all the money you DO save you can take an awesome honeymoon, or put it towards an AMAZING ring!

 

[SuLi]

I am eloping this October... My FI and I are getting married on our tenth anniversary together. I had some of the same feelings and concerns as you did, but I am confident that we made the right choice for us. We're both really shy, and would prefer that the day be just us. As a matter of fact, most of our family and friends figured that we would be eloping before we officially announced it, so it's not a secret.

We envision a simple "courthouse" stop and have hired a photographer to take pictures of us around DC. I actually received my "eloping" dress this afternoon from Bergdorf Goodman - I decided to buy a designer dress that I would be able to feel special in, and also re-wear in the future. I had tried on several dresses, and it was the first dress that clicked for me. I do plan on getting my hair and make-up done as well because we are getting professional pictures. We are planning on a really romantic dinner the same even, and then jetting off to Europe next Spring for our honeymoon.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

 

[shigidigi]

My hubby and I eloped last November after a bunch of ridiculous family drama and wanting to save on the money. I cant tell you how happy I am that we did it too. It was perfect- now granted most people spend more time planning their elopement, but we went down to city hall to get our marriage license and were married the following week!

Hubby''s best friend was there as our witness, and although my best friend felt jilted (I wish she had been there too), it just was too last minute. It was really incredible to have this beautiful moment that was shared between just the two of us, with no one there to worry about besides ourselves. I even cried all the way through my vows which I dont think I would have done if we had gotten married with lots of people watching. Saying those words felt much more real than I ever thought they could.

There are many reasons one can say to having a wedding versus just eloping, but if you are honestly considering it, don''t be hesitant if it is what you want.

After all you can have the celebration later- DH and I are throwing a reception on the date we would have gotten married this April so we can dance, eat and chat with all of the people we love- we just dont have to be all stressed the way we would have been with a full blown wedding.

Best of luck in your decision! Whatever you decide, just make sure you make plans because they are what YOU and your fiance want!

 

[surfgirl]

We eloped last August. It was the most perfect, beautiful, romantic wedding I could ever have hoped for. None of the drama and all of the fabulousness! It was perfect, better than I even envisioned it in fact. I had the dress, flowers, he had his boutinierre, gorgeous outdoor venue very private only us and the officiant/photographer/witness, awesome photographer, amazing honeymoon location, special wedding dinner at local amazing restaurant, and wedding cake...and SPARKLERS after we got back to our room...AND a meteor shower on our wedding night. For real. It was the perfect decision for us but it wasn't cheap. We did it up, but you can do it much cheaper and still have an amazing wedding. We are very private people, and neither of us could have imagined saying our wedding vows in front of anyone except each other and the officiant. We did it the way we wanted to and after being together a long time, nobody complained, only happy well wishes for us, and a lot of comments that people wished they'd done it that way too. If it's what you both want, go for it!

ETA: To answer your questions, some of my friends knew we were engaged and getting married, and in my family only my sister knew. I didn't want my parents getting all excited about a wedding that wasn't going to happen. We had planned on having a few close friends join us but in the end we decided that it was too much travel involved in our location to get our friends there for one day, and in the end we really just wanted it to be us there and nobody else. It was incredibly intimate and special. I highly recommend it. The morning after we got married, we called the parents and told them and they were thrilled. Then when we got home we sent out formal wedding announcements - I had ordered them right before we went away so they were waiting for us when we got home and we sent them out within a week so everyone knew the news.

 

[bling addict]

To answer your questions:
We eloped, I was anxious beforehand as we did not tell anyone (including family).
We both thought it was romantic, and perfect, a great way to put the focus solely on the fact that you are marrying the person you love, and not worry about anything else. We don''t have any regrets.
The only people there were our celebrant, 2 photographers, and the wedding planner (that came with the location) was off to the side, there before and after the vows ceremony (i.e there for cake cutting, and greeting us at the location before the ceremony)

If you''re interested in more detail here''s an overview:
We eloped in December. We both thought it was perfect and don''t have any regrets. We had been engaged for quite awhile (ok. nearly 3 yrs -- and I had done no planning during this time), and only decided around 3 months before the actual event that we would actually elope. We were booking a holiday that was getting to be kind of expensive (well I felt like it was a lot of money for us to be spending), but something we wanted to do since we hadn''t had a decent holiday in years, and I would have just finished grad school, once we picked the destination that happened to be where I had wanted to get married about 18 months later, we just decided to elope instead.

I was anxious about how my family would feel, we didn''t tell anyone until after we were married (and then called them pretty much straight away). I had professional hair, makeup, nails done, I had a beautiful bouquet and flowers in my hair, and groom had a boutonnière. We had professional photography (one colour, one black and white), two miniature 3 tier cakes (rather than a large cake since there was no one there to eat it)I found a designer dress off the rack at a department store that I just fell in love with and knew would be perfect for the occasion, and which I can wear again. Then I spent money that I had *saved* on my dress on jewelry pieces that I love and know I can wear the rest of my life. We went to a nice restaurant for dinner.

When we called our families, my dad was a bit shocked, but when our photographer put up the photos on the internet and he could see how happy we were, and what a special romantic day it was because there were only the two of us there, he thought it was perfect, was truly happy for us and thinks everyone should elope! My mom was happy, and never disappointed that we eloped, she thought it was great because it was like a normal wedding (with flowers, cake, photographer etc etc) except just for the two of us. My husband was really happy that we eloped because his mom creates drama with everything, so it was much easier for everyone for her not to be involved or there. He also loves to tell people he went snorkeling on the day of our wedding while I was getting hair and makeup done. When I told my friends, they were shocked, but thought eloping really suited our personalities perfectly, so wasn''t that surprising. Once they heard more about it and saw the photos, I think quite a few of my friends are wishing they had/ or are thinking when its there time, that they might elope. It was a very stress free way to have a wedding, but still have all the elements that you really care about, and you don''t have to worry about things you don''t care about, it was romantic, and as we honeymooned in the same area, it was so relaxing to basically be on our honeymoon straight away.


Sorry my post is so long! Good luck with your decision

 

[Markie]

wow these responses totally have me psyched about the possibility of eloping now. I am encouraged that no one seems to have families that were really angry about not being there. AZWildcat, I have a similar situation where my parents are supportive and his aren''t and neither of us wants them there but we can''t very well invite my family and not his. Plus, we are private people and I just don''t want everyone staring at me as I say my vows and cry.

It''s also nice to see that some people got the wedding dress and photos that I want. I do want to save money, but I think eloping will allow me to splurge on the things I want without having to worry about the expense of guests.

surfgirl, what you did sounds amazing, very similar to my dream scenario. I want it to be just us at some beautiful location.

We aren''t planning on getting married until at least summer 2009, which means we have awhile, but (of course!) I am really excited and starting to plan things in my head already. And hearing from you guys has really eased my fears about eloping, I really feel now that I can have a ceremony that is private and romantic, still feel like a bride, and have a day that is exclusively about me and the person I am going to be with for the rest of my life. Now I just have to wait about 16 months for it to actually happen!

 

[bling addict]

Hi Markie,
That''s great people''s responses have helped you out! We had the same problem you mentioned, I wanted to invite my family, but not his - which obviously can''t be done - so we found eloping a great option. And you''ve got heaps of time, you can plan a normal wedding, get the dress of your dreams, and have all the excitement of planning (I enjoyed the planning that I did - although it only involved picking dress, flowers, hair, makeup, cake, jewelry and rings and was done in a few weekends, but it was very exciting all the same(I still bought the magazines and looked online at styles I liked) -- the photography was really important to me too, we got married in a beautiful outdoor location around sunset, and the photographers were able to capture everything so perfectly, I think my family really loved the photos (and that was why we spent a bit more to make sure there would be plenty for them to see), and through all the photos they were able to see the romance of the day, and the location, which made them very happy.
Good luck with your planning