E-pics and other progress!

[blacksand]

We just got our engagement photos from our photographer, and I am so happy! I really wasn't sure if I wanted to show my face on pricescope, in part because I wanted some anonymity and in part because I am a little self-conscious about my appearance (I've gained a bit of weight recently, and I haven't made much progress with the wedding diet thus far). But, the thing is, I really love my engagement photos! I'm so happy with how they came out! So to heck with it. This is us!

I'm also happy to say that we hired an officiant (finally), ordered our favors, aisle runner, unity candle and other miscellaneous details, and yesterday we ordered our invitations! I am so relieved. We are a little behind schedule, but we are really getting things done now. Things are finally coming together. Not everything is exactly as we envisioned, but everything will be okay in the end. It will be a great day.

 

[blacksand]

Continued.









The last one is hilarious, we're such dorks. We were supposed to be done with the photo shoot and were walking back to our car. I was in heels on sloped cobblestone, so it was hard to walk. So I was pretending to balance on a tightrope, because I'm apparently as mature as a five-year-old, and FI was apparently mocking me. Can't believe the photographer took a picture. I actually like it, too!

 

[SCDP]

These are really beautiful! I love when I can feel emotions coming through engagement pictures, and I get that from yours. Very sweet and fun!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

These are great and I love the shoes! I like that you did a casual version of yourselves, instead of getting all crazy with your outfits...being yourself rocks! Also, congrats on getting things done! You'll be surprised how little you care about the small things on the actual day...I know I was! But it'll be fabulous and I'm sure you're going to feel even better with a new last name!

Oh and who cares about weight gain...you look great! AND happy, which I think is always a plus lol

 

[gem_anemone]

awww you guys are so cute together!

 

[blacksand]

Thank you ladies! I am really happy with how they came out, despite my feeling a bit chubby. I'm back into my running routine and going to start some weight training next week, so hopefully I will be at least a little more toned by the wedding (there's not much time for any significant weight loss). But I think our photographer did beautiful things with the lighting and really made us feel comfortable, so the pictures came out great anyway.

I'm so glad to have gotten some of the big things done! I know some of the little things don't matter. I nearly had a panic attack yesterday when I found out my flower girl is going to be wearing a totally different dress (and a different color) from what we had originally picked out...until I realized that it so does not matter. She's a baby. She'll be adorable. No one cares what she's wearing. And then the proofs of the invitations, reply cards, etc. came in and they were the wrong color. Another total freak-out! But then I told them and they fixed the problem within an hour. So not a big deal. I need to chill out! Your advice means a lot, Stacy. The little things really won't matter. We're getting married, that's all. It's going to be great.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Thank you ladies! I am really happy with how they came out, despite my feeling a bit chubby. I'm back into my running routine and going to start some weight training next week, so hopefully I will be at least a little more toned by the wedding (there's not much time for any significant weight loss). But I think our photographer did beautiful things with the lighting and really made us feel comfortable, so the pictures came out great anyway.

I'm so glad to have gotten some of the big things done! I know some of the little things don't matter. I nearly had a panic attack yesterday when I found out my flower girl is going to be wearing a totally different dress (and a different color) from what we had originally picked out...until I realized that it so does not matter. She's a baby. She'll be adorable. No one cares what she's wearing. And then the proofs of the invitations, reply cards, etc. came in and they were the wrong color. Another total freak-out! But then I told them and they fixed the problem within an hour. So not a big deal. I need to chill out! Your advice means a lot, Stacy. The little things really won't matter. We're getting married, that's all. It's going to be great.

Hopefully you look at these pictures and see how fabulous you look! Because you do! The main thing is that you feel incompletely amazing on your wedding day, which you will regardless of your dress size! I totally gained about 10lbs after getting engaged and buying my dress and I was worried about feeling no so great on the wedding day but you know what, I didn't even care! I ate a ton of food (lol) and laughed and had an amazing day.

It seems like you're really prioritizing things and realizing what is important and what isn't. That is HUGE!! Trust me, the closer you get to the wedding, the less decisions you're going to want to make and you WILL be like 'I don't even care, just do it'. lmao...it's true! Plus, as long as your vision of the day comes through, the little things will definitely not matter! Don't you even worry, it is going to be amazing!

 

[blacksand]

Thank you! It's so nice to hear it from a recent bride. I feel like I've gone through waves: right after we got engaged, I was wedding. planning. crazy, but we weren't getting married for more than a year and a half, so I eventually realized I needed to chill out. We had about 13 million friends and relatives getting married before we were, many of whom got engaged after we did, so I kind of had to put my wedding aside and embrace everybody else's. Then I spent almost a year not doing anything, and I totally lost interest. I was so not interested. Didn't want to talk about weddings, didn't want to think about weddings, just didn't care. We had plenty of time. Then, over the summer, I realized we were actually getting close to the wedding date, and nothing was really ready. And I started freaking the eff out. I was having nightmares almost every night that it was my wedding day and nothing was ready. Most humorously, in the dream, I always realized about an hour before the wedding that I had forgotten to shave my legs. In the dream, this was the stuff of Greek tragedy. Now we are finally getting things done, and getting down to all the silly little details. It is all-consuming, and often all I think about. Except when I stop and reflect on how silly some of it is. Or really, most of it. But oh well! I'm actually enjoying working on the silly details, now that I know we have the major stuff taken care of. Not having all of our vendors booked was scary. Not knowing where the ceremony would be nor who would officiate was really scary. Now we have that all set, so I can fuss over the ribbons for our snowflake-shaped wishing tree tags. If those don't get done exactly the way I envisioned, well, I think we are going to be okay.

Still, I will be booking an appointment to have my legs waxed the week before the wedding, just in case!

 

[blacksand]

Our invitations went out today! Finally! So exciting. I can't wait to start getting the replies.

Sorry for obscuring just about everything, but here's the best picture I can get for you for the moment:

 

[blacksand]

We got hit pretty hard by hurricane Sandy here, but thank goodness we are okay. No major damage. I know there were many others who were less fortunate. I hope everyone out there is okay! It's been so quiet lately on this board.

In the midst of the hurricane, we received a totally unexpected overnight FedEx delivery (unexpected because we got no mail or courrier deliveries of any kind for over a week, but this one magically showed up!). It was my wedding band! It is gorgeous and I am so excited to wear it every day. I'm so happy it came!





It makes me so happy. FI is still looking at wedding bands for himself, but he is leaning towards tungsten bands. He likes the one that are satin finish in the center with polished sides. Very simple, not even close to matching mine, but that's fine.

We are 7 weeks out and I'm starting to panic, er, I mean get excited! It's getting so close!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

So glad to hear you're ok AND that you've gotten a sweet little package! LOVE the wedding band!

Ok, no panicking! How excited are you?? What all needs to get finished? Seriously, it goes SO FAST!! Make sure to enjoy every single little moment..even the crazy ones lol

 

[blacksand]

Thanks Stacy! I don't even know what all needs to get finished, I'm so all over the place right now! We have to schedule meetings with all of our vendors I guess. We are going to our venue next Friday for dinner with our parents, and we are going to try to schedule our big meeting for the same day. Our big meeting is the one where we work out all the little details that have been driving me nuts for a year now: setting up the room, the timeline, the cake, schedules for the vendors to set up, deciding on the final menu, etc. I feel like most brides have this stuff decided well in advance, but our venue just kept telling us we'd have a meeting 4-6 weeks in advance to work out all these details. Next week will be 6 weeks out so I am pouncing on that. I am going to take the whole day off work, so we can try to schedule meetings with other vendors that day, too. I know we have to meet with the DJ and have our song requests all together. I guess we should meet with the florist, but I'm not sure it's necessary. I think our photographer and officiant prefer to just discuss the details via email, which is fine with me. Otherwise, I think it is just minor stuff that's left. Tying ribbons on our wish tree tags, printing and framing table numbers, attaching gift tags to our favors, assembling welcome bags for the hotel, etc. Lots of stupid little things, but they add up!

We have 38 "yes" RSVPs so far! Some nos as well, but all pretty much expected. No big surprises so far. I am just hoping we get as close to 150 guests (our magic number) as possible, but hopefully not many more than that! I will be biting my nails as the RSVPs come in. It's like watching the election results over here. Except I will not actually bite my nails, because I have pretty OPI nail polish on. I will find something else to bite.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Phew! You have a ton of things to make happen! Don't worry though, once you actually nail down the details with your vendor, you will feel so much more at ease! I have to say, hearing how a 'normal' wedding is planned makes me extra thankful with how we did ours. Girl, you deserve a metal for keeping track of everything like that! I may have shot myself if I needed to track down vendors and go over everything with a fine tooth comb. Seriously, you rock! I cannot wait to see your pictures though. I got our pictures back from the photographer (all 440 of them...whoa!) and need to upload a few more on here...there are just SO MANY good ones!

Deep breaths, long baths with a glass of wine and you will be perfectly capable of handling the upcoming weeks.

 

[FrekeChild]

Congrats on the upcoming wedding blacksand! I love your e-pics - they are amazing and you look great. Pinky swear!

 

[blacksand]

Aw, thanks, FrekeChild! And I know you are being sincere, since you pinky swore. I'm glad you think so, since I am so NOT going to succeed at my pre-wedding weight loss plan at this point. I was doing all right and had lost a few lbs. before the hurricane hit. But then I learned that when you have major anxiety (due to a hurricane), and then you lose power for about a week, all you do is eat and drink. Seriously, I gained so much hurricane weight it is actually hilarious. I ate our entire bag of Halloween candy, since we had no trick or treaters because of the hurricane. And I couldn't exactly use my treadmill without power. So here I am weeks later, finally getting back to normal. I think I can get back down to my pre-hurricane weight without too much trouble, but there will be no significant weight loss between now and the wedding. There just isn't time. So...I am taking your pinky swear to heart! I will try to embrace myself as I am and convince myself I look fabulous.

Stacy, yeah, from time to time I think about shooting myself, too, but I think we can pull this off! We just have a lot of little things that need to get done. I think I will feel much better after we meet with our vendors this week. I'll feel much better after we have our gifts for our groomsmen and our parents (bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer and jr. attendants are DONE, because I am awesome, but we are totally stuck on what to get the guys and parents). I'd love to know what the heck my cake is going to look like. I'd love all my bridesmaids to get their alterations done. But we can do it, and I just keep telling myself not to sweat the small stuff. Big picture, big picture, focus blacksand! Getting married matters. The rest is minor. We can do this!

FI had his bachelor party on Saturday. I thought I would be crazy with worry, lonely, etc. but I was...totally not. I took a long bath and went online shopping for new nail polish and perfume. Nail polish is my obsession. Then I played all the one-player video games that I can never play when FI is around. Then I slept in our guest bed, which is my old bed from the apartment I had before we moved in together. We sleep in FI's bed now, because it's bigger, but my old bed is SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE and I miss it. I know I'm terrible. But I had the best night just lounging around by myself. I was, of course, glad when FI came home (and still wanted to marry me, lol). But a night alone is really nice!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Aw, thanks, FrekeChild! And I know you are being sincere, since you pinky swore. I'm glad you think so, since I am so NOT going to succeed at my pre-wedding weight loss plan at this point. I was doing all right and had lost a few lbs. before the hurricane hit. But then I learned that when you have major anxiety (due to a hurricane), and then you lose power for about a week, all you do is eat and drink. Seriously, I gained so much hurricane weight it is actually hilarious. I ate our entire bag of Halloween candy, since we had no trick or treaters because of the hurricane. And I couldn't exactly use my treadmill without power. So here I am weeks later, finally getting back to normal. I think I can get back down to my pre-hurricane weight without too much trouble, but there will be no significant weight loss between now and the wedding. There just isn't time. So...I am taking your pinky swear to heart! I will try to embrace myself as I am and convince myself I look fabulous.

Stacy, yeah, from time to time I think about shooting myself, too, but I think we can pull this off! We just have a lot of little things that need to get done. I think I will feel much better after we meet with our vendors this week. I'll feel much better after we have our gifts for our groomsmen and our parents (bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer and jr. attendants are DONE, because I am awesome, but we are totally stuck on what to get the guys and parents). I'd love to know what the heck my cake is going to look like. I'd love all my bridesmaids to get their alterations done. But we can do it, and I just keep telling myself not to sweat the small stuff. Big picture, big picture, focus blacksand! Getting married matters. The rest is minor. We can do this!

FI had his bachelor party on Saturday. I thought I would be crazy with worry, lonely, etc. but I was...totally not. I took a long bath and went online shopping for new nail polish and perfume. Nail polish is my obsession. Then I played all the one-player video games that I can never play when FI is around. Then I slept in our guest bed, which is my old bed from the apartment I had before we moved in together. We sleep in FI's bed now, because it's bigger, but my old bed is SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE and I miss it. I know I'm terrible. But I had the best night just lounging around by myself. I was, of course, glad when FI came home (and still wanted to marry me, lol). But a night alone is really nice!

Here is the thing, I think losing weight before the wedding is kind of silly, unless you plan on keeping it off afterwards. Why? Because I think he should marry the realistic version of you and not the 'only skinny for pictures' version. I'm not hating on you at all., by the way and think its awesome that you've lost some weight and are getting yourself to feel more fabulous! All I'm trying to say is that I don't think the weight loss (or lack thereof) is even anything to worry about. Heck, you survived the hurricane, so I totally think you deserved all that Halloween candy! lmao

It seriously seems like you've gotten a ton of things done and everything is well under control! I would suggest having a girls craft night to work on wedding stuff with your ladies and totally pump them to get their dang dresses altered! Plus, that will help iron out a few of the details (I was desperately in need of help and my MOH's and Mom totally came to the rescue!) and you'll have a stress-free evening lined up.

DH and I ended up going out to Baltimore for our bachelor and bachelorette parties. We drove down together and then split up for the evening (a joint party did NOT appeal to me) and then met back up at closing time. It was fabulous! He got to hang with his guys and I got to do exactly what I wanted for my last big single evening which was go to dinner and do some bar hopping in Fells Point (one of my favorite places) with my ladies. I even wore flip flops! It was awesome and very Stacy! Any plans for your party??

 

[audball]

We got hit pretty hard by hurricane Sandy here, but thank goodness we are okay. No major damage. I know there were many others who were less fortunate. I hope everyone out there is okay! It's been so quiet lately on this board.

In the midst of the hurricane, we received a totally unexpected overnight FedEx delivery (unexpected because we got no mail or courrier deliveries of any kind for over a week, but this one magically showed up!). It was my wedding band! It is gorgeous and I am so excited to wear it every day. I'm so happy it came!





It makes me so happy. FI is still looking at wedding bands for himself, but he is leaning towards tungsten bands. He likes the one that are satin finish in the center with polished sides. Very simple, not even close to matching mine, but that's fine.

We are 7 weeks out and I'm starting to panic, er, I mean get excited! It's getting so close!

It's perfect!! LOVE IT!

 

[blacksand]

Here is the thing, I think losing weight before the wedding is kind of silly, unless you plan on keeping it off afterwards. Why? Because I think he should marry the realistic version of you and not the 'only skinny for pictures' version. I'm not hating on you at all., by the way and think its awesome that you've lost some weight and are getting yourself to feel more fabulous! All I'm trying to say is that I don't think the weight loss (or lack thereof) is even anything to worry about. Heck, you survived the hurricane, so I totally think you deserved all that Halloween candy! lmao

I agree with you, really. Losing weight for any short-term reason is kind of silly. I'm just feeling really huge lately. I kind of didn't notice how much weight I had gained over the last few years until recently. I don't really see it when I look in the mirror. I always think I look pretty good, and then when I see photos of myself, I am shocked. I know it's a combination of aging, moving away from my formerly vegetarian diet (about 5 years ago now), working a desk job where I just sit all day, and living with FI, who is really not a great eater and always manages to talk me into a cheeseburger. i put on way more weight in the last 5 years than I realized, and i want it gone. But unfortunately, it doesn't go away by magic, and I've just had so much stress this year that I couldn't achieve all that I wanted to. But you are right. FI is marrying me, and loves me how I am. So I will just be me, and it will have to do!

Any plans for your party??

Baltimore sounds awesome! I love the harbor so much, and I love the idea of splitting up and meeting up again at the end of the night! We didn't want to have our parties on the same day, since most of our friends are married and many have kids. If we scheduled both parties together, people would have to look for babysitters, and I suspect we'd get a lot of declines. But I really love the idea. I wish we could have done something similar.

I am not having a bachelorette party per se, since my MoH is in Florida and can't exactly organize it. I'd like to get together with my girlfriends, but it will just be a casual thing, since it isn't really proper for me to plan my own bachelorette party. I really want to go to this tea room in NYC and have a grown-up tea party. I want to wear a big silly hat and eat petit fours. It's silly, but I don't care! Then maybe just go to a bar afterward for some drinks. Nothing too elaborate. That's what I'd like, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point. We're having a hard time scheduling it. Everyone is busy with the holidays coming up. My bridesmaids are kind of all over the place. MoH is in Florida. Bridesmaid 1 is in PA, which is probably doable distance-wise, but I really don't think she'd come because she hates to leave her son. Bridesmaid 2 is married with 3 kids and lives in VA. She's definitely not coming! Bridesmaid 3 is married and has a three-week old baby. She might come, but it's hard to leave a tiny baby! Bridesmaid 4 is going through some issues with her husband. They separated in January. Now they are attempting to reconcile. It's great news, but it's a rough road for them. She might come, might not. Depends on the day. She's just got a lot going on. Bridesmaid 5 is my girl. Young, single, no kids, lives in NYC and is always ready to party. I know she'll be up for it. It might end up being just the two of us partying it up! Haha.

And thanks audball! I'm so in love with my ring. I can't wait to wear it!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Baltimore sounds awesome! I love the harbor so much, and I love the idea of splitting up and meeting up again at the end of the night! We didn't want to have our parties on the same day, since most of our friends are married and many have kids. If we scheduled both parties together, people would have to look for babysitters, and I suspect we'd get a lot of declines. But I really love the idea. I wish we could have done something similar.

I am not having a bachelorette party per se, since my MoH is in Florida and can't exactly organize it. I'd like to get together with my girlfriends, but it will just be a casual thing, since it isn't really proper for me to plan my own bachelorette party. I really want to go to this tea room in NYC and have a grown-up tea party. I want to wear a big silly hat and eat petit fours. It's silly, but I don't care! Then maybe just go to a bar afterward for some drinks. Nothing too elaborate. That's what I'd like, but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point. We're having a hard time scheduling it. Everyone is busy with the holidays coming up. My bridesmaids are kind of all over the place. MoH is in Florida. Bridesmaid 1 is in PA, which is probably doable distance-wise, but I really don't think she'd come because she hates to leave her son. Bridesmaid 2 is married with 3 kids and lives in VA. She's definitely not coming! Bridesmaid 3 is married and has a three-week old baby. She might come, but it's hard to leave a tiny baby! Bridesmaid 4 is going through some issues with her husband. They separated in January. Now they are attempting to reconcile. It's great news, but it's a rough road for them. She might come, might not. Depends on the day. She's just got a lot going on. Bridesmaid 5 is my girl. Young, single, no kids, lives in NYC and is always ready to party. I know she'll be up for it. It might end up being just the two of us partying it up! Haha.

Oh, Baltimore was fabulous! We went to a really delicious tapas restaurant that I love and then just walked around and bar hopped in Fells...it has cobblestone streets (hence the flip flops!) and was just gorgeous! We did it a week before the wedding and I am so glad because things were getting stressful and a night on the town with my ladies was certainly needed! Don't worry if all your ladies can't come. Only 3 out of 7 of mine made it and two had to leave right after dinner, but it was a blast! I had a group of ladies who wanted to be out having a good time and I was just happy that some could come to the dinner, even if they didn't stay to enjoy the after party. I surely enjoyed it with the ladies who stayed!

I LOVE the idea of a tea party and wearing a big hat and just being silly! It sounds like a ton of fun! And if they don't want you planning it, then they need to make it happen. If not, take right on over! I sure did lol...I picked the place and when it was becoming evident that we were getting down to the wire, I picked the date too. They drove and those who could come, did. Sometimes its better to just book the place (ok, MOH did that after I picked it, but still) and tell them when to show up!

 

[blacksand]

Tapas are my favorite! That sounds like such a perfect night out. And I'm glad it was fun even with a small group of friends. I'm going to talk to my girls tomorrow and try to nail down a date and make some plans. I do feel a little weird taking the lead on this, but like you said, if I want it to happen I have to amke it happen somehow! I just want to make it clear that I want NO PRESENTS and I don't want them paying my way. We're all just going out together, that's all. Possibly with a big floppy hat.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I didn't get any presents (aside from a ridiculous sash lol), but they did pay for my dinner. I paid for all my drinks, but having them grab my dinner was sweet! I ended up having 7 girls come to dinner and 3 left afterwards. The 5 remaining ladies (myself included) had a flipping blast! I made sure the ladies knew there was no pressure to come, but I'm glad that the select few made it such a memorable evening

 

[blacksand]

World's longest post, venting and wallowing. Read at your own risk.

So I had my final fitting and brought my dress home yesterday. It was kind of awful. I'm just glad it's over with. I had asked my local bridesmaids if anyone could come with me to learn how to do my bustle, lace the dress up, etc. That, and I just wanted somebody there with me. But none of them could make it. I was a little bummed about it, but I understood. So I asked my mom to come along. The plan was that FI would drive me to the dress shop and my dad would drive my mom. FI and my dad would then go hang out and do manly things while my mom and I went in. Then we'd all meet up for dinner afterward. I was honestly still a bit sad not to have any bridesmaids there, but I was determined to make the most of it.

FI got called in very suddenly for a new temp job. It's a great opportunity, could possibly lead to a permanent position next year, pays well and is right up his alley. The only thing is that they literally called him yesterday at 7:30 AM and wanted him to start that day! Yikes! But of course he couldn't pass it up, so he threw on a suit and ran out the door. He wasn't sure what time he would finish for the day, so that left our dress fitting plans a bit uncertain. In the end, I got ready to was just about to head out the door by myself, but then he texted and said "I'm coming home NOW, please wait!" So I called the dress store and said I would be 10 mins. late, and I waited. This new job is about a 10 min. drive away, but it took him a half hour to get home. Super. Then we got caught in the world's most horrible traffic on the way there. The dress shop is about an hour away. We ended up arriving about 20 mins. late. Seamstress was a bit annoyed, but at least we made it.

Except my mom wasn't there. I called and asked where they were, and she said they were only a half mile away and would be right there. So the seamstress suggested we put the dress on, figuring my mom would arrive by the time she had it all laced up. But she didn't. So the seamstress suggested I call her again while she went ahead and took her next appointment. Okay, I messed up this woman's whole schedule, so I don't mind waiting a bit. I called my mom again, and she said they had made a wrong turn, but everything was okay now, and they'd be there any minute. Half an hour went by and she didn't show up. The seamstress suggested she just show me how to do the bustle myself, and then we could go over it with my mom when she arrived. Okay. The good news is that the bustle wasn't too terribly complicated. I think I got it. But still no mom. I sat down, the seamstress took yet another client, her last for the evening. FI called my mom from outside (he doesn't want to see the dress), since he has a much better sense of direction. He texted me and said they're totally lost, and the GPS isn't working. Super. I told the seamstress I'll just take the dress off then, since I have no idea when my mom will arrive. She says, very kindly "No, keep it on, your mom will want to see how beautiful you look. I can wait." Ok. So I wait and wait. I take some ridiculous pictures of myself with my cell phone in front of my face. I feel fat and ridiculous, to be honest. She did the corset up tight and I have major back fat going on. And I'm standing there in this big ridiculous princess pouff or a dress, and I'm all by myself, and I just feel dumb. The other girls in the store are all there with their moms and girlfriends, and they're all trying on very simple styles. I feel way overdressed. I feel like I'm trying to be some sort of princess, and what on Earth possessed me to buy this grand elaborate gown when I don't even have any friends or family there to see it. Ridiculous.

The seamstress was way too nice. I kept telling her "Forget it, you are done for the day, you should go home, don't wait". But she waited as long as she could. Finally the manager told us they had to close the store for the night. So I took the dress off. The seamstress ran out, so I didn't really get a chance to thank her. But I thanked the manager and left. Shoved the dress in the car and told FI we should just go home.

Of course we couldn't go home, because my parents were still driving around somewhere in NJ. They have been to the dress store twice before, so this makes no sense to me. But they were totally, hopelessly lost, and over an hour and a half late. FI had them on speaker phone and was using Google maps to try to figure out where the heck they were (he is a saint). They finally named a street he could find on the map, and we told them to just park right there and we would go to them. We found them, and they were fine but my mom was crying. She was so upset that I couldn't even be upset anymore, I had to channel all my energy into comforting her. It really wasn't her fault. They didn't do anything wrong. But it sucked. A lot. We did end up going to dinner because we were all starving. But I didn't have a salad as I had intended, I had a crispy chicken sandwich (it was enormous) and a giant pear martini and a slice of cheesecake. I wanted to drown my sorrows in food and alcohol. I just ended up feeling fat.

Gahhhhhhh. I know I have to focus on the positive here. The dress fit (despite backfat), the seamstress was very sweet, the bustle seems doable enough, FI is a saint and I know my mom really wanted to be there, and she really tried. Not to mention FI has a new job, which is awesome and has been a long time coming. I know I need to check my attitude and just be grateful for all the good things. But I really needed to get that all out. Sorry readers!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

What a depressing thing! I am so sorry you had to go through all that! Sending a ton of hugs your way though!

Look, you're totally allowed to wallow a bit and eat more calories than you should have. It was a sucky situation (damn those BM's of yours and stupid GPS!). The great news though is that you can see the positive (i.e. easier bustle, fabulous fitting dress, wonderful fiance etc). Hopefully you can get a good moment with your Mom to try on the dress, show her the bustle and feel fabulous soon!

 

[blacksand]

Thanks Stacy. I am feeling better now. I was just really bummed, but it's no one's fault. I took today off work so I can relax a little, maybe I'll even try the dress on later. I don't think I can lace it up by myself, but I'll see what I can do!

We had to cancel our appointment at our venue today because FI is now working (I had taken the day off so we could go in the afternoon). But I'm much happier to have him working than not working, believe me! So we are going to see if we can go up tomorrow instead.

I'm still feeling a bit of dress regret, to be honest. But I don't think it's the dress itself so much as I'm feeling like I have no business wearing something so princess-y. I guess I like the dress, but I'm feeling sort of unworthy, like who am I to be wearing such a thing? It's so freaking huge. Originally, we were getting married in a big neo-gothic church, and it made more sense. But now that we're having our ceremony at the reception venue, I feel like I'll just be overdressed and look a bit silly. At this point, though, I'm just going to have to embrace it and love it.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Thanks Stacy. I am feeling better now. I was just really bummed, but it's no one's fault. I took today off work so I can relax a little, maybe I'll even try the dress on later. I don't think I can lace it up by myself, but I'll see what I can do!

We had to cancel our appointment at our venue today because FI is now working (I had taken the day off so we could go in the afternoon). But I'm much happier to have him working than not working, believe me! So we are going to see if we can go up tomorrow instead.

I'm still feeling a bit of dress regret, to be honest. But I don't think it's the dress itself so much as I'm feeling like I have no business wearing something so princess-y. I guess I like the dress, but I'm feeling sort of unworthy, like who am I to be wearing such a thing? It's so freaking huge. Originally, we were getting married in a big neo-gothic church, and it made more sense. But now that we're having our ceremony at the reception venue, I feel like I'll just be overdressed and look a bit silly. At this point, though, I'm just going to have to embrace it and love it.

If there is one day where you're allowed to be overdressed and princess-y, it's your wedding day! Hell, you SHOULD be overdressed and princess-y lol...as for feeling unworthy, girl you are a mess! You need to just stand up tall and embrace that big ol' dress and feel FABULOUS in it! Just remember, everyone that is looking at you is going to see all the love you have for FI and wearing a princess dress will almost enhance that moment, in my opinion! This isn't your everyday look, this is your wedding look and your wedding look is over the top and beautiful!

I'm glad you have the day to yourself. I really think you just need to love yourself a bit more and for a moment, see yourself as FI sees you. Don't think about back fat or that you're unworthy. Think about how he KNOWS that you're the most beautiful woman in the world for him and for a minute (or um , forever) BELIEVE HIM! Blacksand, you need to stand right up and realize that you're awesome! Don't you even worry about a thing anymore and focus on what a truly amazing day you're going to be having and how you will be that lovely princess in the big white dress and everyone will be thinking how beautiful you look. You got this, girl!

 

[blacksand]

Oh Stacy, do you want to be my bridesmaid? Thank you so much, I almost got tears in my eyes just now. You are so kind, and really so right. I decided to play dress-up for my day off. I tried all my bridal looks! I put the dress on...it was the first time I put it on without help. I didn't think I could do it, but it was easy. Of course, I can't lace the corset back by myself, but I just tied it at the top so it would stay on. It fit a little funny, but it gave a good overall impression of the look. And it was pretty! I tried on every possible look. With the sleeve/shrug thing (for the ceremony), without (for the reception), with my big white faux fur-trimmed cloak for outdoor photos, with and without the veil and blusher, bustled and unbustled. I had to take it off to bustle it, of course, but I had no trouble doing the bustle and getting it back on. I actually felt kind of empowered, because they always do everything for you at the store and you feel so helpless...but it's really not that hard to dress yourself, lol. I do it every morning! It was fun and I wasn't comparing myself to other brides in the store or waiting for someone else's approval. Just me, my dress and my mirror, and I think I looked pretty damn good.

Thank you so much for the confidence boost. I was just having a moment. I just really wanted my bridesmaids and my mom there with me, and I got upset and everything snowballed from there. But they will all be there on my wedding day. And FI will be there, and we will be married. Life is good.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh Stacy, do you want to be my bridesmaid? Thank you so much, I almost got tears in my eyes just now. You are so kind, and really so right. I decided to play dress-up for my day off. I tried all my bridal looks! I put the dress on...it was the first time I put it on without help. I didn't think I could do it, but it was easy. Of course, I can't lace the corset back by myself, but I just tied it at the top so it would stay on. It fit a little funny, but it gave a good overall impression of the look. And it was pretty! I tried on every possible look. With the sleeve/shrug thing (for the ceremony), without (for the reception), with my big white faux fur-trimmed cloak for outdoor photos, with and without the veil and blusher, bustled and unbustled. I had to take it off to bustle it, of course, but I had no trouble doing the bustle and getting it back on. I actually felt kind of empowered, because they always do everything for you at the store and you feel so helpless...but it's really not that hard to dress yourself, lol. I do it every morning! It was fun and I wasn't comparing myself to other brides in the store or waiting for someone else's approval. Just me, my dress and my mirror, and I think I looked pretty damn good.

Thank you so much for the confidence boost. I was just having a moment. I just really wanted my bridesmaids and my mom there with me, and I got upset and everything snowballed from there. But they will all be there on my wedding day. And FI will be there, and we will be married. Life is good.

Ha! YES!! Lol I am SO GLAD to hear that you've been playing around with the dress and all of your awesome sounding looks! I am getting more and more excited to see your pictures...woohoo!! And how great that your dress is easier to manage than your originally thought AND there wasn't any reason to be self conscious about it...see, already feeling amazing is the key! You are going to knock 'em dead for your big day!

 

[star sparkle]

Ick, I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience with your fitting, but I'm glad you're feeling better now!

Stacy is right, you SHOULD feel princess-y on your wedding day! You're going to look gorgeous! As for the dress regret, I had that too but now I realize that there was a reason I picked the dress - it made me feel wonderful, and still does (yes, I've played dress up with it too).

I can't wait to see everything put together!!

 

[blacksand]

Thank you star sparkle! Playing dress up is the best. I still feel a bit funny about the dress sometimes, but I think it is mostly because I compare myself to others. I see a lot of ladies here and on other forums posting their dresses. Lots of sleek, modern, sexy styles. That is SO NOT MY DRESS. And frankly, it isn't really me. I'm not terrible modern design-wise. Our venue is very Old World elegant, we're fairly traditional ceremony-wise, we're big on family history, and my dress is a big old princess dress. "Tradition" has become something of a dirty word on most wedding sites these days, or at the very least, akin to "cookie-cutter." But it's us. I don't want to "personalize" my wedding using someone else's ideas (very trendy ideas at that!). We're doing our own thing, even if that means a ballroom reception, a big white sparkly ballgown, chateaubriand and a four-tier round cake. Oh well, it's what we want. And there are at least a few things I know my grandmother would be aghast at anyway! Our cake will be blue! We're doing a wishing tree (in our case, a small Christmas tree) instead of a guest book. Whatever, you can't please everyone. I have to stop worrying about other people and just enjoy the process!

 

[star sparkle]

Well I'm SO glad you're doing it YOUR way. Our wedding is also not going to be what a wedding is "expected" to be, but it will most definitely be us. Sometimes I feel like people are or will judge our choices, but whatever. It's our wedding, we'll do it how we want! I think people would be a lot less anxious and stressed if they did things how they want it done instead of how they think it *should* be done.