Dust for my dog

[junebug17]

Hi everyone, just wanted to ask for some dust for my very sick 10 year old yellow lab. He has a tumor on his spleen that is causing internal bleeding. We rushed him to a veterinary hospital and he is having surgery tomorrow to remove the spleen. Unfortunately, we were told that there is a 75% chance the tumor is malignant, in which case he will survive for a few months. Please keep my sweet dog in your thoughts and hope for a good outcome to this, although the odds are against us.

I can't believe this is happening. I knew we would eventually lose him, but not like this, and not so soon. I'm just devastated. He's such a wonderful, loving dog. I'll be lost without him.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Dandi]

Oh junebug you poor love, what a terrible thing to happen. I nursed my precious Bubbles through lymphoma last year, it's so scary and sad. Sending heaps and heaps of healing vibes to your beautiful boy xx

Do keep us updated if you can.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Junebug I am sending lots of dust and positive healing vibes to you dog!

 

[Diamond.Lover]

You and your doggy are in my prayers.

 

[baby nurse]

Junebug, I'm so sorry to hear about this ! I'll say lots of prayers for tomorrow and the coming weeks. Our pets are so precious, such well-loved members of our families. And our hearts really ache when they suffer.
Sending you lots of dust! Please keep us updated!

 

[Skippy123]

sending healing dust for your sweet lab.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Junebug, I am so sorry. I am hoping and praying that they are successfully able to remove the tumor and that it is benign.

I do understand how awful it is to think about losing a beloved, furry member of the family too soon. We were told on Thurs. that we are likely losing our dog soon, who is only 6.5. My heart reallly goes out to you!

 

[junebug17]

Thank you DandiAndi, HOT, Diamond.Lover, Skippy123 and NEL for your kind and supportive words. They have been such a source of comfort to me.

Sadly, we received bad news this morning...testing indicated that there were 2 tumors on his spleen, and growths detected in other organs. My dog definitely had cancer and it had metastasized. Due to the extremely poor prognosis given to us by the vets at the hospital, we decided to spare our precious dog any further discomfort and pain and put him down. If he had the surgery, we were told he would not have survived very long, since this type of cancer is so aggressive. I can't tell you how agonizing the decision was, and I find myself second guessing it. But the vets assured us that is was a reasonable, responsible choice. But I'm inconsolable. I am almost shocked at how grief-stricken I am. I have a pain in my chest that won't go away and I can't stop crying. Before and during the procedure, I was the "strong" one of my family. But when we got home I just fell apart. The house is so empty. Everywhere I look I'm reminded of him. All I want is to stroke his fur, and I'm overwhelmed by the thought that I never will, ever again.

Thanks again for your kindness, I really appreciate it.

 

[mary poppins]

Aww, so sorry to hear of your loss, junebug. It's so hard to put a pet down. They become such a big part of our daily lives and the daily reminders of absence leave such a void when they're gone. Sounds like you did the right thing, though, for your furbaby's comfort and quality of life. Sending hugs your way.

 

[baby nurse]

Oh junebug, that's so horrible. We lost a pet less than a week ago, so I can appreciate a bit of what you're going through.
We also lost a pet to cancer a couple of years ago, and it was agonizing to see her suffer. She had uterine CA and had a hysterectomy, but the cancer had already spread, but we didn't know until it was too late. I'm mentioning all this to emphasize what a wonderful thing you did today. You gave your dog a wonderful life and he will always live in your heart.

Sending you lots of hugs.

 

[Dandi]

Oh junebug, honey I am so so, SO sorry, my heart is absolutely shattered for you. The sadness from losing a pet is so overwhelming, I'm in tears for you just typing this. What a lucky doggy to have had such a wonderful life with such a loving family. My heart goes out to you tonight.

 

[packrat]

Aw Junebug I'm so sorry! It's so hard to lose pets. You did the right thing but ohhh that doesn't make it any easier. Sending you lots of love and hugs!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Oh Junebug. My heart broke as I read your update. I know it must have been a very agonizing decision, but I have no doubt it was a decision made with love and respect for his comfort level and you shoudl never doubt that. He was lucky to have you...I wish I could give you a hug, I have no doubt your home feels "empty" and just hope that over time you can remember all of your happy memories with him without it hurting so much.

 

[junebug17]

Thank you so much baby nurse, DandiAndi, marypoppins, and packrat, you have no idea how comforting your compassionate words are right now. They mean the world to me. It was an agonizing decision, but the only alternative was to make my poor dog go through surgery to remove his spleen, then bring him home to die. The timeline we were given was 2 weeks to 2 months, and we just didn't think it was fair to put him through all that pain, just to come to the same result in the end. It's been heart-wrenching, but we feel we spared him any more suffering. But it hurts so much.

Baby nurse, I just replied in your thread about Daisy. I am so sorry about your sweet bunny, it's such a difficult thing to lose a beloved pet, my heart goes out to you. (((hugs)))

 

[junebug17]

Oh Junebug. My heart broke as I read your update. I know it must have been a very agonizing decision, but I have no doubt it was a decision made with love and respect for his comfort level and you shoudl never doubt that. He was lucky to have you...I wish I could give you a hug, I have no doubt your home feels "empty" and just hope that over time you can remember all of your happy memories with him without it hurting so much.

NEL, thank you so much for your kind words! the bolded sentence so accurately expresses what I'm going through right now, your understanding is just so comforting. Yes, the house feels empty, it doesn't even feel like home anymore without my sweet boy in it. Right now the memories are causing me so much pain. I didn't want to go to bed last night because he slept on my side at the foot of the bed, and I couldn't bear the thought of laying in bed without my feet touching him. When I finally forced myself to go to bed, I just laid there and cried myself to sleep. So many little things...I picked up one of his toys, and it smelled like him, and I burst into tears. I took something out of the fridge, and expected him to come trotting over to check out what I was doing, then remembered he's not here anymore. I feel physically ill when I walk into the house, because he's not there to greet me with one of his toys hanging out of his mouth. These memories are like stabs to my heart. I hope and pray the pain stops soon, so that I can be comforted by these memories instead of tortured.

I'm sorry for rambling, once I started typing I couldn't stop.

And NEL, I am so pained to read that you might lose your precious dog soon. I'm so very sorry, and I hope you post about it so that I can offer you the same reassuring comfort you've given me. ((((hugs)))) to you...having a pet is so wonderful, but this end of it is really tough.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Oh Junebug, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your dog. I hope that as time passes, your grief lessens and you are able to see that you gave him a great gift in letting him go. I've been through this many times, and I take deep comfort in the fact that the pet's pain is over when they pass. It is so hard, I know, but for some reason, this has always helped me get through the sadness. In time, you will be able to remember him with more joy than sadness. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[junebug17]

Oh Junebug, I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your dog. I hope that as time passes, your grief lessens and you are able to see that you gave him a great gift in letting him go. I've been through this many times, and I take deep comfort in the fact that the pet's pain is over when they pass. It is so hard, I know, but for some reason, this has always helped me get through the sadness. In time, you will be able to remember him with more joy than sadness. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Aw, thanks LV, I really appreciate it. This thread has helped me so much. It's so comforting to hear from people who understand how I'm feeling.

I love your furbaby in your avatar! What a sweetie!

 

[Girlrocks]

So sorry to hear about your loss. We just had to have surgery 4 days before Christmas on our 11 year old yellow lab to have a tumor removed. I am so sorry that your dog had cancer, but he is not suffering or in pain any longer. Big hugs to you in the coming days and weeks.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Junebug, I'm just dropping in to let you know I'm thinking about you today.

One of the vet techs I used to see often lost her dog last year and said she had such a hard time that she ended up seeing a grief counselor to help her through it. I know that when we got the bad news about Byron, I started exploring pet loss couselors as well. I think our local ASPCA even has a pet loss support group. I'm afraid that if I don't have an outlet for my grief, it will bleed into every part of my life including work, so I'm just trying to prepare. I thought exploring options like that might help you, too.

Everybody around me keeps telling me that Byron will be the first to greet me at the rainbow bridge, but it hurts to even think about that. All I can think about is all the things I did wrong--all the times he came up to me for attention and I didn't have time. All the times I scolded him for things that seem so meaningless now. Things I can't go back and change. I feel like he deserves so much more than to get stuck greeting me. He deserves somebody worth of him. I realize this probably sounds like I'm just trying to appear humble, but it's truly how I feel.

Sorry, I'm just babbling now and am crying at my desk, so I should stop. I think it's just very hard to reflect on their lives when the pain is very fresh. I'm trying not to be glum since I am thankful for every minute I have with Byron, it's just very hard to face the mortality of our pets.

 

[lulu]

Junebug, I think you made the only decision you could under the circumstances. I know how badly you feel and I'll be thinking about you.

 

[decodelighted]

My heart is breaking for you. I can barely respond. Hoping you find some comfort & rest SOON. I think everyone here will agree that you did the only thing you could do. HUGS.

 

[junebug17]

So sorry to hear about your loss. We just had to have surgery 4 days before Christmas on our 11 year old yellow lab to have a tumor removed. I am so sorry that your dog had cancer, but he is not suffering or in pain any longer. Big hugs to you in the coming days and weeks.

Thank you Girlrocks...I'll be keeping your doggie in my thoughts and I hope he is recovering well. Please give him a hug for me.

 

[junebug17]

Lulu and deco: Thank you so very much for your kind words, they are such a comfort to me. I can't tell you how much it's helping me to know that you understand, and in fact share, my grief. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts!

 

[junebug17]

Junebug, I'm just dropping in to let you know I'm thinking about you today.

One of the vet techs I used to see often lost her dog last year and said she had such a hard time that she ended up seeing a grief counselor to help her through it. I know that when we got the bad news about Byron, I started exploring pet loss couselors as well. I think our local ASPCA even has a pet loss support group. I'm afraid that if I don't have an outlet for my grief, it will bleed into every part of my life including work, so I'm just trying to prepare. I thought exploring options like that might help you, too.

Everybody around me keeps telling me that Byron will be the first to greet me at the rainbow bridge, but it hurts to even think about that. All I can think about is all the things I did wrong--all the times he came up to me for attention and I didn't have time. All the times I scolded him for things that seem so meaningless now. Things I can't go back and change. I feel like he deserves so much more than to get stuck greeting me. He deserves somebody worth of him. I realize this probably sounds like I'm just trying to appear humble, but it's truly how I feel.

Sorry, I'm just babbling now and am crying at my desk, so I should stop. I think it's just very hard to reflect on their lives when the pain is very fresh. I'm trying not to be glum since I am thankful for every minute I have with Byron, it's just very hard to face the mortality of our pets.

NEL, thanks for caring, and for checking in with me.

I know what you mean about finding an outlet for your grief, I can really relate to that. I'm seriously thinking of going to counseling, because to be honest I've been depressed and upset about other things going on in my life, and this loss seems to be intensifying those feelings. I hope you can find something that will give you some support as you make your way through this extremely traumatic experience. My heart breaks for you, having to live day to day knowing what lies ahead, I'm just so very sorry and so upset for you.

I understand what you're saying about feeling guilty, too. I'm torturing myself with the times I was annoyed with Cowboy, or ignored him because I was preoccupied with other things. now I realize he was seriously Ill and I didn't know it. How i wish i could change that. But NEL, we shouldn't do this to ourselves. We obviously love our pets, and in my heart I believe they know it. And they love us, and will forgive those times we were a little impatient. Please try not to feel guilty, just focus on treasuring the time that remains.

Big hugs to you, and thanks again for thinking of me.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Junebug, now I've got you consoling me, I'm so sorry! I know our boys know how much we love them and I feel blessed that they came into our lives. We are two lucky ladies!

How are you doing today? Were you able to sleep any better last night?

 

[Diamond.Lover]

Junebug, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know you'll be at peace knowing that you spared him any pain even though it was a heartbreaking decision. My heart is breaking for you. ((hugs))

 

[yssie]

June, I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss.

I know that you made the right decision, the harder choice that would spare your darling more pain . But I also know it always hurts, and I'm praying for you, for healing and peace - with everything that may be difficult for you right now.

 

[junebug17]

Junebug, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know you'll be at peace knowing that you spared him any pain even though it was a heartbreaking decision. My heart is breaking for you. ((hugs))

Diamond.Lover, I'm so touched that you are thinking of me at such a difficult time in your life, thank you so very much for your kindness.

 

[junebug17]

June, I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss.

I know that you made the right decision, the harder choice that would spare your darling more pain . But I also know it always hurts, and I'm praying for you, for healing and peace - with everything that may be difficult for you right now.

Thank you for your support Yssie, it's a real comfort...I keep coming back and re-reading the replies in this thread, and it helps so much.

 

[junebug17]

Junebug, now I've got you consoling me, I'm so sorry! I know our boys know how much we love them and I feel blessed that they came into our lives. We are two lucky ladies!

How are you doing today? Were you able to sleep any better last night?

NEL, you are just so sweet...I stayed at my mother's last night to help take care of her (had a stoke a few months ago) so I had to slap on a happy face and pretend to be cheerful. I deserve an academy award for the nice little bit of acting I did. I proceeded to cry for a good part of the ride home from her house today. I just feel so flat and empty, and I know those feelings will pass eventually. It's just that he was so special, and because of being a sahm I spent so much time with him. I apologize for being depressing...but it helps to let it out!