LALove
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2009
- Messages
- 1,048
I could really use some advice on anything I can do to help DS like going to preschool again.
DS is 3 1/2 and has been going to a wonderful preschool for over 9 months now (before this he was watched by a nanny at my family office so I was around all day). The first day he bawled his eyes out at drop off and screamed for me not to leave him. It was obviously heartbreaking for me, as his mom. His main teacher is fabulous though and swooped in to pick him up and got him interested in an activity. She called to report the tears only lasted 10 minutes after I left. Each day after the first day, drop off was easier and smoother. About a month into it, drop off became a breeze- hugs, kisses and he'd happily wave goodbye.
Now, seemingly out of the blue, he's regressed into being clingy and teary at drop off, saying he "hates playschool" and doesn't want to go etc. Also, when we pick him up at 5pm we find him sitting in a little chair by the door patiently waiting for us (we're told he sits in the chair at around 4pm which means he chooses to sit and wait for about an hour instead of playing). It's so sad because we used to have to drag him out of there.
The change in attitude happened about 2 months ago after an incident where his favorite teacher accidentally scared him. He was washing his hands and getting water everywhere (as toddlers do) and someone was vacuuming right by him. His teacher freaked out a little because she didn't want DS to get the outlet wet and get hurt so she rushed over to him and grabbed him from behind to get him out of the "danger" area. Well, I guess this really freaked him out - probably because he thought he was in trouble - and he cried and was basically inconsolable until we came to get him an hour later. She must have apologized to him 50 times for frightening him and DH and I talked to him about what happened over and over and it seemed handled. There was one other incident around this time as well. DS came home and told me that the "boys" are mean to him. I asked which boys and it was only one boy who was hitting DS on the head with wooden blocks. I spoke with the teacher that day over the phone and I guess this particular little boy was very aggressive to all the kids- hitting, biting etc. The school handled the problem by moving him up one level to a class where the kids are his size (he is big for his age) and the bullying stopped. So that's not a problem anymore.
Other than those two things, I have no idea why DS "hates" preschool and doesn't want to go anymore. DH and I have asked him 100 different ways if anything unpleasant happened, if anyone is mean to him etc and DS says no- he just wants to stay home with us. His teacher will email me pics of DS happily playing during the day and when I call to check on him, she'll tell me what he's doing and how his mood is which is usually cheerful. So he seems to have fun when he's there- just not at drop off and I guess not during the later part of the afternoon. His teacher does leave at 3:30pm and they bring in "closers" which are just high school type girls that basically clean up and make sure the kids are safe but the structure and scheduled activities stop when the teacher leaves.
We've tried to make it easier by:
Talking to him about it and reassuring him that we will always pick him up
Sending him in with a family photo
Making drop off very positive and quick - hugs, love you, see you after school, bye (if I linger he gets more worked up)
Spending TONS of quality time with him in the AM and after school
My parents think he'll just "grow out of it" but that just doesn't sit right with me. It's been 8+ weeks with 0 improvement. It seems that I haven't found the real reason he no longer likes going OR this is really just a phase, in which case, there has to be something I can do to make it easier on him. I can't just "wait it out".
Any advice would be very appreciated.
DS is 3 1/2 and has been going to a wonderful preschool for over 9 months now (before this he was watched by a nanny at my family office so I was around all day). The first day he bawled his eyes out at drop off and screamed for me not to leave him. It was obviously heartbreaking for me, as his mom. His main teacher is fabulous though and swooped in to pick him up and got him interested in an activity. She called to report the tears only lasted 10 minutes after I left. Each day after the first day, drop off was easier and smoother. About a month into it, drop off became a breeze- hugs, kisses and he'd happily wave goodbye.
Now, seemingly out of the blue, he's regressed into being clingy and teary at drop off, saying he "hates playschool" and doesn't want to go etc. Also, when we pick him up at 5pm we find him sitting in a little chair by the door patiently waiting for us (we're told he sits in the chair at around 4pm which means he chooses to sit and wait for about an hour instead of playing). It's so sad because we used to have to drag him out of there.
The change in attitude happened about 2 months ago after an incident where his favorite teacher accidentally scared him. He was washing his hands and getting water everywhere (as toddlers do) and someone was vacuuming right by him. His teacher freaked out a little because she didn't want DS to get the outlet wet and get hurt so she rushed over to him and grabbed him from behind to get him out of the "danger" area. Well, I guess this really freaked him out - probably because he thought he was in trouble - and he cried and was basically inconsolable until we came to get him an hour later. She must have apologized to him 50 times for frightening him and DH and I talked to him about what happened over and over and it seemed handled. There was one other incident around this time as well. DS came home and told me that the "boys" are mean to him. I asked which boys and it was only one boy who was hitting DS on the head with wooden blocks. I spoke with the teacher that day over the phone and I guess this particular little boy was very aggressive to all the kids- hitting, biting etc. The school handled the problem by moving him up one level to a class where the kids are his size (he is big for his age) and the bullying stopped. So that's not a problem anymore.
Other than those two things, I have no idea why DS "hates" preschool and doesn't want to go anymore. DH and I have asked him 100 different ways if anything unpleasant happened, if anyone is mean to him etc and DS says no- he just wants to stay home with us. His teacher will email me pics of DS happily playing during the day and when I call to check on him, she'll tell me what he's doing and how his mood is which is usually cheerful. So he seems to have fun when he's there- just not at drop off and I guess not during the later part of the afternoon. His teacher does leave at 3:30pm and they bring in "closers" which are just high school type girls that basically clean up and make sure the kids are safe but the structure and scheduled activities stop when the teacher leaves.
We've tried to make it easier by:
Talking to him about it and reassuring him that we will always pick him up
Sending him in with a family photo
Making drop off very positive and quick - hugs, love you, see you after school, bye (if I linger he gets more worked up)
Spending TONS of quality time with him in the AM and after school
My parents think he'll just "grow out of it" but that just doesn't sit right with me. It's been 8+ weeks with 0 improvement. It seems that I haven't found the real reason he no longer likes going OR this is really just a phase, in which case, there has to be something I can do to make it easier on him. I can't just "wait it out".
Any advice would be very appreciated.