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DRAMAS! Postponing our wedding

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honey22

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What a day! Friday the 13th is supposed to be my lucky day!?!

It looks like we are going to change our wedding day. We were supposed to get hitched on the 2nd September, but FI's brother (who is his closest friend in the world and our best man) has been offered an extension on the cruise ship he is working on and they won't grant him leave for our wedding (
). FIs brother (P) is very upset and was considering just coming back, but we couldn't ask him to give up this opportunity. His career is just starting out and this would be very damaging at this point. Also, if he doesn't take the contract, his partner (in life and dance) won't get a contract either so they will be both out of work.

I am a bit stressed
I spoke to a few vendors today and they told me they can (edited) change the date without charging, however we still need to get in contact with our photog, and ceremony organiser. Hopefully they won't charge an arm and a leg to change.

The only other problem is the weather - we can move to November, which is just before wet season, and will be a lot hotter and more humid, or we would have to wait until April - Sept 2010!! I don't want to wait that long!!!!

DF is so upset the poor thing, I think anyone else in the world could miss it and he would get over it, but they are just so close, I just can't imagine him not being there.

Arrrghh! I don't know what to do, and I am stressing!!! We can't get in contact with P yet, as the ship has a satellite phone and it's shocking reception, we can bearly hear him and we have to wait until he gets his emails.

Ok, stress over, if you got this far thanks for listening to me
 

Deelight

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
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5,543
Awww honey that is terrible, *BIG HUGS*. I can''t believe your vendors won''t help you your still a fair way out.

Is it possible to bring the wedding forward would that help or am I being daft?
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
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4,458
OMG! I am an idiot!! That's a typo ( I will fix it) It's supposed to say they can change it without charging us.

Sorry - need a drink!

We can't move the wedding forward, he's already on the ship!
 

EricaR

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 3, 2007
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2,392
The drama llamas are out in force today! I am so very very sorry that you have to postpone.
 

Deelight

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
5,543
Have a glass of wine or 3.

I am glad they aren't charging you, chances are the other vendors won't either your not cancelling but rather rescheduling.


ETA: LOL at the term Drama Llama's I am so stealing that one
 

choro72

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
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1,867
OUCH! Does your FI''s brother know which days he will be available for? We have to go through the same thing. Let''s give each other hugs...
 

CNOS128

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
2,700
Honey, you''re a very kind lady to go to all the trouble of postponing your wedding for your fiance''s brother to be able to be there. I''m confident everything will work out, and the good karma you will reap from this decision will help make your wedding day perfect!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
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4,511
Sweetie, we had a small window for our wedding too. we lost the church of my dreams. because my now DH was in school, we had to have it in August. I DID NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED IN AUGUST, but we didn''t have a lot of options either. I sacrificed my dream wedding for my DH so that he could visit w/ his family and not have to worry about his finals. It all worked out. Yours will too.

When we went on our honeymoon, it was in the middle of hurricaine season... had we gone the week before or after our honeymoon would have been ruined... but it worked out. It was beautiful!
The day after we returned, the beaches were all rained out, and I am soo happy that my good dead, for my DH, paid off. I believe had I been selfish, that would have been a price I would have paid.. if that makes sense...

I think your good deed, moving the day for your FBIL, will also pay off!
***DUST***
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
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12,111
Oh I''m sorry...I would move it to November as long as your future BIL is sure he can make it then. Yikes, what a bummer!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Aug 12, 2005
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17,802
Have the whole bottle of wine. Sorry to hear this, I hope you can work out a date before 2010!
 

Definitely. Maybe

Brilliant_Rock
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Jan 12, 2009
Messages
582
Sorry you are having such bad luck. Keep us updated when you schedule a new date. It will all work in the end. :)
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 28, 2008
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6,181
I''m sorry honey


I''ll ditto that you''re very understanding and kind to postpone. And because of that, I think you should trust that everything will work out. (((hugs)))
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Sorry to hear that!! If he can make it home in November I''d organise it for then. That''s rubbish though having to change the date.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 11, 2006
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55,746
I would only change it if the brother can get a definite leave period approved NOW!!!! I wouldn''t reschedule and then find out he has the same problem again.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
I think you are doing the right thing, and I''d just go with it and try not to worry too much about the weather - it might suck, but you''ll have no control either way, so just do your best to make contingency plans.

I had to get married in July because of school constraints - I had always really wanted a Spring wedding, and it turned out just fine - we ended up with perfect weather and an amazing day.

I''m sure your day will be incredible in November and your FI will be so glad to have his brother who he loves so much there with him to share it.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Dec 14, 2007
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19,456
((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

It will all work out for the best, maybe even better than it would have originally!!!
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
Thanks everyone for your support! I am pretty stressed to be honest, and now I am missing the boy like mad. We are very close and I have always called him my brother too, well I have know him for 13 years almost, so he feels like a brother.

After I finished posting here yesterday, I decided to go and ask FI how much it meant to him to have his brother there and if he wanted to change it we would. I walked into the bedroom and he was in tears the poor baby. He is not a crier at all! I havn''t seen him cry for years so this really got to me. They have such a close relationship and all along have only wanted immediate family there, so this is really important to both of us.

Geez, this post is such a mess, I havn''t been able to sleep and here I am, on the computer at 5am on a Saturday morning!!! WTH?!??!?!

Thankyou so much for your support, it''s nice for someone to understand. Two of my friends here basically said, you aren''t going to change the whole wedding for him? I don''t think they understand how important it is for DF.

Now, we just have to find a new date. November worries me due to the weather, but I am sure I will survive. The chapel is airconditioned, and we are having our reception there too, so that won''t be a problem. Almost the entire walls of the chapel are folding doors that we can open up to let the ocean breeze in and after dark (around 6pm) it should become quite balmy. The only thing I am worried about is is being really sticky and hot during photos, or if it''s raining. That said, the photog said if we are rained out, he will do a reshoot another day, which is reassuring!! I keep thinking of my beautiful wedding band which is due for shipment in two weeks - I wil have to wait longer to wear it!!


I keep telling myself things happen for a reason and it was meant to be. Last week I almost sent the email to WF to have our wedding date engraved on my band. Yesterday morning I almost approved our wedding invitations (with the old date!). Something was stopping me, so I guess it was fate.

On the good side, I have a few more weeks to lose weight and save money.


Oh yeah, as for last night, I didn''t get my hands on any wine, but there are a few less chocolate easter eggs in the world now
 

ChinaCat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2007
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1,829
Honey-

So sorry to hear about the drama, but I have to say your response is admirable. I know you''re upset and stressed but your FI is lucky to have such an understanding wife to be! At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are married and are surrounded by those you love. It''s going to be the best day ever, no matter what month it is.
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
Thankyou so much, you have all been too sweet. You are totally right though, what matters is that DF is happy too and that at the end of the day we are married surrounded by those who are special to us. The rest is secondary really. Cept for the bling
 

JSM

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
802
I''m so sorry for the circumstances, but I agree that you''re doing the right thing. All the people you love will be there, and that''s the most important thing!

I admire how well you are handling this!
 

katamari

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
2,949
Honey, I am so sorry that you have to change your date! Maybe the 2nd is cursed, because that is the date we are trying to get, too, and we cannot find an officiant.

I think it is really promising that your photographer has offered to re-shoot and that it seems possible to go forth with the wedding you planned, but just have it on a different day. And, I think that, in the end, it would have been terrible to not have your FBIL at the ceremony so once everything is planned (again) it will go back to feeling as right as it did earlier! (((HUGS!)))
 

Dreamgirl

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Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,070
Oh Honey I'm so sorry about all this! That would certainly be stressful and upsetting...
At least you are looking on the bright side of things! Keep us updated.
 

Rhea

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Oct 20, 2007
Messages
6,264
I''m sorry to hear that you''re having to postpone the wedding. It''s great that most vendors aren''t charging you for the date change.
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
Oooohhh I''m SO sorry, honey
I feel terrible you have to push your date, especially with a lot already booked. Your vendors so far seem so nice and accomodating. I have to say though, I think you''re making the right decision by pushing it back so your BIL can be there, and I really commend you for making this difficult decision. Your FI won''t have enjoyed the day as much if your BIL was absent, and you want everyone to have wonderful memories of your special day - especially since you say your FI and BIL are very close.

I''m sure the wedding will be 1000000x better, even if the weather isn''t what you''d like it to be....just because of all the love and care that went into planning the day. I hope everythinkg works out. *hug*
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2008
Messages
5,393
Aww, that totally sucks honey!! I''m sorry
I think you guys are making the right choice though to postpone until your FBIL can be there because he''s so important to you guys. I''m glad your vendors seem to be so understanding!
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
Good for you - it sounds like you are trying really hard to think positive and have a good attitude about the changes, and I''m sure your FI really appreciates that, and you will have your beautiful wedding in the end
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
Just a little update, we spoke to FIs brother today, and won''t be back in the country until around the 18th-20th November (date still to be confirmed). This is leaving it very very late and very close to full on wet season, I think we might have to make it September next year. I am pretty down
 

arjunajane

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 18, 2008
Messages
9,758
Aww Honey that sucks! I just saw your "postponed" tag over in RT and came over straight away to find out why - I''m so sorry

I don''t really know what to say, except I think you are behaving very admirably offering to change everything.
Isn''t there a way FBIL could ask to leave the boat one or 2 weeks early...? Do you mind if I ask what career it is that you apeak of?

I hope you are able to work it out soon **hugs**
 

mia1181

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 25, 2006
Messages
1,789
Oh wow Honey, I think it is very sweet that you and FI are willing to postpone for him. I''m sorry you have to deal with this.
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
hey AJ, nice to see you around here


He has been told that if isn''t willing to stay for the entire contract, then he won''t be offered that contract. Nor will his girlfriend, which is his dancing partner. They are both dancers, and this is a huge opportunity for them. They have both flown halfway across the world, and it''s great money too. He really needs this money at the moment to pay his debts, he has been living on practically nothing for the past fews years finishing his dancing course, and he wants to get some more cash to be able to go overseas maybe in a few years and do some more training.

This decision also affects his gf (A). They are hired together to dance in a show as partners, if he doesn''t take the contract, she misses out automatically. They won''t let him leave early as then they will be down a couple for their show. I personally think it wouldn''t be the end of the world if they did the show minus a couple, but their employer feels differently. We can''t expect A to give up this chance for him to attend. They have worked too hard for that.

Anyhoo, I am ashamed to admit it, but I have spent the afternoon in bed crying feeling miserable for myself. We honestly don''t know what to do now? If I only knew how to start a poll!!
 
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