Drama Queening

[decodelighted]

Since unrealistic expectations abound these days ... I''m gonna give it a try too!

My unrealistic expectation: that people who throw totally outrageous online fits about non-issues would somehow WAKE UP to reality and come back to apologize for being such a big whiny baby.

People start thread after thread about how "harsh" criticism is but geez -- sometimes I think "why isn''t anyone offering any perspective?" So much thumbsucking & wah-wahing about the slightest little inconvenience ... then wanton shopping sprees to cheer themselves up ... and more crying later. Unbelievable. And then you read a thread about a person living through a TRUE tragedy ... or dealing with depression or health issues or a friend''s difficulties and it just makes the other threads look even WHINIER by comparison.

Sometimes my advice would be "STUFF A SOCK IN IT". Or ... "GET A GRIP, you entitled princess." But ya can''t really say that. Oh how I wish I could. And oh how I think some folks need to hear it.

 

[cbs102]

maybe its a "non-issue" to you.. but not to them.

 

[iheartscience]

Why are you being so mean?! You don''t understand the situation fully!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:29:46 PM
Author: cbs102
maybe its a ''non-issue'' to you.. but not to them.

Perhaps. I''m amazed at the super low threshold of "issue" though.

My question is: wouldn''t it be great if people realized later that they were making a mountain of a mole hill & APOLOGIZED for blowing things out of proportion and being so dramatic about it. Just a pipe dream really.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:31:01 PM
Author: thing2of2
Why are you being so mean?! You don''t understand the situation fully!

Why, was I being dramatic? Ranting unnecessarily? I APOLOGIZE!!! I hope I haven''t stirred up your emotions or taken up too much of your time with my CRAZY RANT!

I will be much more careful in the future when I decide to post about something that bothers me. And I''ll try to consider the GLASS HALF FULL before expecting everyone else''s tears of sympathy to fill my glass.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:29:46 PM

Author: cbs102

maybe its a 'non-issue' to you.. but not to them.

Perhaps. I'm amazed at the super low threshold of 'issue' though.


My question is: wouldn't it be great if people realized later that they were making a mountain of a mole hill & APOLOGIZED for blowing things out of proportion and being so dramatic about it. Just a pipe dream really.

[/quote]
well i actually just signed on and thought that you were speaking in general. care to elaborate????

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:38:06 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/23/2008 8:31:01 PM

Author: thing2of2

Why are you being so mean?! You don''t understand the situation fully!

Why, was I being dramatic? Ranting unnecessarily? I APOLOGIZE!!! I hope I haven''t stirred up your emotions or taken up too much of your time with my CRAZY RANT!

I will be much more careful in the future when I decide to post about something that bothers me. And I''ll try to consider the GLASS HALF FULL before expecting everyone else''s tears of sympathy to fill my glass.

Please do-my tear ducts are just about dry from all the tears of sympathy I''ve been crying lately. I''m just plain tapped out!

 

[decodelighted]

I am speaking generally. Not about any poster specifically at all & wouldn''t ever seek to call out an individual on being a "drama queen".

Just fantasizing about how sweet it would be if people actually ever did gain perspective on their "problems" after reading other (more tragic) threads. Or maybe just after some time has passed. "Gosh, I was really ridiculous the other day". I know it has happened - and its just so cathartic to see CHANGE. That''s one of the addicting things about forums etc. People set goals, complete projects, go through life stages - and, gasp, even grow emotionally. Gain perspective about their lives! And some people stay exactly the same, year after year -- maddeningly.

Sometimes I just want a "you know ... it wasn''t that bad" moment. People may realize that later but never follow up to post because THAT feeling isn''t as urgent as the RANT. Its frustrating. I''d like to see the whole story through but don''t always in this forum.

TOLD YA: it''s a silly rant itself! And I APOLOGIZE!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

I agree. Some threads bring me to my knees. Like when someone loses their Mom. Now that''s a tragedy. Plain and simple. I do see lots of whining over stuff that seems so trivial. But then again, it''s not trivial to them, I get that.

I am patient, I am kind in my responses more often than not. But sometimes want to yell are you kidding me?? Seriously get real!!!

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:45:38 PM
Author: decodelighted
I am speaking generally. Not about any poster specifically at all & wouldn''t ever seek to call out an individual on being a ''drama queen''.


Just fantasizing about how sweet it would be if people actually ever did gain perspective on their ''problems'' after reading other (more tragic) threads. Or maybe just after some time has passed. ''Gosh, I was really ridiculous the other day''. I know it has happened - and its just so cathartic to see CHANGE. That''s one of the addicting things about forums etc. People set goals, complete projects, go through life stages - and, gasp, even grow emotionally. Gain perspective about their lives! And some people stay exactly the same, year after year -- maddeningly.

Sometimes I just want a ''you know ... it wasn''t that bad'' moment. People may realize that later but never follow up to post because THAT feeling isn''t as urgent as the RANT. Its frustrating. I''d like to see the whole story through but don''t always in this forum.


TOLD YA: it''s a silly rant itself! And I APOLOGIZE!!!

ok ok yes i do see what you are saying. as i have stated in other threads, i do think that people can be VERY mean spirited.. ESPECIALLY on the trivial posts. i DO have an "oh boy" moment when i read these because i know that those kind of responses are coming.but again, in the mind of the poster.. thier issue is a big deal to THEM. who are we to judge what is an actual issue and what is a non issue. However, i actually do agree with you in a lot of ways. I posted on here a little over a week ago and it BLEW UP to this major issue about my future step dauther and it had nothing to do with her... even a small rant was BLOWN up by the readers.. not me. For me, posting was very helpful.i say WAS because i will never post a private matter again... but i could get my feelings out there... trivial or not.. and i felt better, therefor not putting my crazy emotions on my loved ones. does that make sense???

yes there are more serious heartbreaking topics at hand.. but we each feel different things in different ways. i just don''t see where we can judge people for that.

a few days went by and i was more regretful about posting AT ALL! the issue was totally resolved between my FI and myself but PS members we still talking about it!!

 

[purrfectpear]

Deco my dear, truer words were never spoken. You can lead the horse to water, but it''s darn hard to shove their neck in it. Nuff'' said

 

[miraclesrule]

I hear you Deco, but sometimes that is exactly what the threads and a community are for. Besides....Love means never having to say you''re sorry.

Actually that''s a little debatable in my book.

And it is true that some people, me in particular, have a tendency to react with extreme passion which many may refer to as drama, and then once some time passes and contingency plans are in place and/or the moon transits past the stormy aspect that caused someone to have a cloudy day....well, things look brighter.

If we couldn''t each be unique and human, we would all be robots and well...that wouldn''t be any fun.

In fact, it is perspective that is most often sought after on PS, not everyone expects the coddling, they don''t ask for it...it is just in some peoples nature to provide it.

I don''t think we should be flogged for a public display of thinking out loud at a particular point in time....especially since we can''t delete a thread that we may start when in that funky mood and place. Trust me, I have wanted to go back and delete a topic or at least edit a thread topic, but it''s like a fingerprint dangit. The best we can hope for is for those threads to go away fast, and not post it them again.

But again, I hear you, sometimes it can seem like a lot of whining. In my case, rest assured, it''s "wineing"

 

[Miranda]

Hey Deco - tell us how you REALLY feel! Haha! I have to agree with Miracles. Sometimes to the OP whatever is going on IS a huge deal in their life at that moment. In the broad scheme of things I think everyone can put things in perspective...Well most everyone anyway.

Coming back to apologize in another animal. Is it an apology you are looking for? Or just recognition that the OP is making a mountain out of a mole hill?

 

[LaraOnline]

Oh, how come I miss all the high-drama threads? I love drama!

 

[Lauren8211]

Everyone''s fighting a different battle, and we don''t know what goes on in their lives other than what they tell us here.

We''re all at different stages in our lives, and pain is relative. There''s always someone suffering more than you are, but that shouldnt mean we can''t be upset over things just because someone else has it worse. We''re all guilty of being "dramatic" at one point or another, and then you learn. (Hopefully).

I guess if someone wants to complain that their ring is too small and go shopping and cry, that''s their right. May not be how we''d handle it, but the world is full of all kinds of people. Perspective will come into play eventually.

 

[diamondfan]

I am totally fine with someone venting. Whether or not I think it is a big drama issue or not, whether I think it warrants histrionics or pages of posts or not, IF I can help at all, be constructive at all, I am happy to be. I am happy if the site helps someone in a time they are having a struggle.

Of course there are times I am shaking my head thinking WTF?! And almost feel a bit sorry for those people to whom THAT is such a mountain issue in life...but then again, I am not them and cannot really judge without knowing them. I mean, my mother in law sends me into hysteria if I see her name on the caller ID so I GET sometimes that the little things can be the final straw. I think having PS to come on to and vent can be immensely soothing and beneficial. However, I agree with Deco that sometimes it is just TOO much and it would be nice if the person was able to have SOME perspective after the fact, once they have been helped or assisted. I honestly read some threads where someone has lost a parent or has an ill child or a beloved pet is gone, and some of the stuff is petty by comparison. And though I get that to THAT person at THAT moment, the issue matters, even for me, when little things rise up, I DO get to a point where the bigger picture emerges. I have a mantra...this too shall pass...my family is well and I am okay...now, does it always soothe me immediately? NO. But after a while it starts to sink in. Usually I realize that it could be worse, and I try to take a deep breath...

There are some people though who really abuse it and those threads I have been known to avoid.

 

[phoenixgirl]

My theory is that if you are minorly discomfitted or annoyed by something in an otherwise pleasant life, then you want to vent about said discomfiture to your friends. And who are we, with hundreds or thousands of posts to our names, to judge people for feeling that this online community is their friend?

But if you are really thrown a curveball, you may not wear that on your sleeve. You may experience real depression, instead of annoyance, and you don''t want to vent. You don''t want to do anything.

All I''m saying is that I think there''s a reason that people use this forum to vent about less important stuff.

For example, I know I''ve come on here with annoyances that happened at work, like the time some kid left a can full of warm urine my room, or the time some girl I didn''t know attacked my finger with a zip tie and the nurse had to cut me to get it off right before I passed out. That''s the kind of story I tell on the porch to neighbors, or tell on here in a post. But when I suddenly lost my dad recently, my first thought wasn''t to log into Pricescope and vent. If that is somebody''s instinct, then I honor their need for support and reassurance all the more, but I think in a lot of cases that we cocoon when the real bad stuff hits the fan, and an online community seems all the more removed in that instance.

I have read a couple posts on here where I thought the poster lacked perspective on what''s really important in life, or what true suffering is. But I guess I''d either ignore it or try to give a respectful reality check. How can we know what is important if nothing bad has happened to us other than a can full of urine? I don''t think it''s fair to judge people for not having been initiated into the having suffered a real tragedy club.

 

[decodelighted]

Kaleigh: Ahhhhhh thank goodness. The fact that you ever feel the widdlest bit the same way makes me feel a less monsterous!

Purrfect Pear: Less surprised that you agree!

But thanks all the same!

CBS102: I can see how a vent is useful. I''m just representing the other side. The face-less person being vented UPON. Granted we read everything voluntarily & can opt out of a thread if it gets annoying or heated ... but can''t the reader have some wishes too? I wish for happy endings most of the time. But I also sometimes wish people would get a grip, toughen up and keep their drama for their mama! Most of the times I feel that way it is after a long history of constant complaint. Will say that most people who are that attention-seeking eventually either get bored when people stop jumping at their every sob or even vamoose if they''re called out in any way. Can think of a few times THAT''s happened. There''s plenty of sympathy out there. I''m just saying: there''s a limit. Just as there''s "good manners" when it comes to RESPONDING to posts ... there''s good manners when it comes to POSTING your personal annoyances ALSO. Its respectful and kind to yield the drama floor from time to time & check your self before you wreck yourself. HA! I thought I was in a Queen Latifah movie for a second.

Date: 8/23/2008 9:37:14 PM
Author: miraclesrule
I don''t think we should be flogged for a public display of thinking out loud at a particular point in time...

Me no flog! Me no flog! I sometimes *wish* to flog -- but I abstain!

Date: 8/23/2008 9:37:14 PM
Author: miraclesrule
But again, I hear you, sometimes it can seem like a lot of whining. In my case, rest assured, it''s ''wineing''

HA! In that case I hope your glass is more than half-full ... overflowing even!

Miranda
That''s an interesting question. Is it an apology I''d like ... or the recognition. I guess the recognition really. Especially when its a normally quite rational person. There was the recent post about returning a relationship to homeostatis after a fight.... I guess its the same way online. I want to feel "okay" about a person again. And not that they are a loopcicle! Or want to avoid their posts or roll my eyes when I see the next molehill/mountain, yanno? Its a totally SELFISH desire! Admit that 100%. I just wanted to, ha, VENT it!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/23/2008 8:46:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I agree. Some threads bring me to my knees. Like when someone loses their Mom. Now that''s a tragedy. Plain and simple. I do see lots of whining over stuff that seems so trivial. But then again, it''s not trivial to them, I get that.

I am patient, I am kind in my responses more often than not. But sometimes want to yell are you kidding me?? Seriously get real!!!

Ditto everything Lisa said and DF!

 

[LaraOnline]

Sometimes it''s really hard to get the nuance of return posts as well, because there is no tone of voice in text.
So how do we know they are really taking it as bad as it comes across. Perhaps they are wondering, questioning, rather than histrionic.
At the end of the day, an online forum is about fun, and light-heartedness, no? People can be who they are, it''s all the same to me.
I''d prefer people to be who they really are, rather than being ''polite'' and acting like ''it''s all cool'' when the issue is still hot for them...
that way, they have a better chance of a genuine resolution...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/23/2008 10:36:57 PM
Author: phoenixgirl
who are we, with hundreds or thousands of posts to our names, to judge people for feeling that this online community is their friend?

I don''t think it''s fair to judge people for not having been initiated into the having suffered a real tragedy club.

Sorry about your dad, Phoenixgirl! Re: your quotes above ... I''m not suggesting we judge anyone, or that I''m proud that I sometimes sum up a person''s situation & come up with my own assessment. Its human nature to do so really. And I''d do the same with "real" friends in my "real" community. I''m just WISHING. WISHING that people who, at some point, realize they''ve gone overboard with the drama come back & post the recognition of that fact & their new found perspective. At the start of the thread I admitted it was unrealistic & a "pipe dream". It''s just my personal WISH. If only from a dramatic arc "hero experiences growth" base instinct. The basis of every story in history.

Again: not practical. Just a deep, unyielding, albeit selfish urge I wanted to take my thread-turn to voice.

 

[princesss]

I think part of it may be that once a person gets perspective on a situation, it''s not exactly the most comfortable thing to do to log back on, revisit the drama, and apologize for blowing things out of proportion. Sometimes it''s easier to just move on and let it die. IRL, I''d hope my friends would clear up the situation. On here, I can see the temptation to just hide behind relative anonymity and ignore that anything was ever posted about the issue.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/23/2008 10:45:34 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 8/23/2008 8:46:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I agree. Some threads bring me to my knees. Like when someone loses their Mom. Now that's a tragedy. Plain and simple. I do see lots of whining over stuff that seems so trivial. But then again, it's not trivial to them, I get that.

I am patient, I am kind in my responses more often than not. But sometimes want to yell are you kidding me?? Seriously get real!!!

Ditto everything Lisa said and DF!

I knew I liked you. Kidding aside, this is a community. I hope all feel free to vent, I know I have. I just guess Deco's post hit a nerve with me. I am allowed to have my moments too???

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/23/2008 10:58:08 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/23/2008 10:45:34 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 8/23/2008 8:46:40 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I agree. Some threads bring me to my knees. Like when someone loses their Mom. Now that's a tragedy. Plain and simple. I do see lots of whining over stuff that seems so trivial. But then again, it's not trivial to them, I get that.

I am patient, I am kind in my responses more often than not. But sometimes want to yell are you kidding me?? Seriously get real!!!

Ditto everything Lisa said and DF!

I knew I liked you. Kidding aside, this is a community. I hope all feel free to vent, I know I have. I just guess Deco's post hit a nerve with me. I am allowed to have my moments too???

LOL, we all have our moments! I vented the other day too and felt much better! hehe

That is why I love this place!

 

[strmrdr]

Drama Queening?
Kinda like this thread eh?

I just hope you never have a bad day and need a little support and no one is around in person.

 

[luckystar112]

While we''re complaining...

Well, in my opinion, there is really no need to post in any thread that you do not feel worth your time.
And to be honest, I always wonder about those who feel the need to respond to every drama thread just to tell the OP in an extremely snarky way that their post is insignificant (I am not talking about you, Deco). Don''t post if you (general term) don''t like it...it''s called personal responsibility. More so, though, I wonder how many problems the snarky poster has in their *OWN* life that they have to put themselves on a pedestal and try to keep everyone in line by pointing out which threads *they* deem not important enough.

Again, just don''t post. And if people have pointed out to you that you sound harsh on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION and you''re still in your little bubble of denial about your attitude, maybe it is time for *you* to go to that counselor.

*




Ah....I feel better.

ETA: All "you''s" are meant to be general and are not directed at any one poster. Thanks.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/23/2008 11:08:56 PM
Author: strmrdr
Drama Queening?
Kinda like this thread eh?

I just hope you never have a bad day and need a little support and no one is around in person.

I''m willing to bet that some of us who feel this way have our share of bad days and can feel alone. Personally I have a big ole giant cry and move on (with the possible aid of Haagen Daas). People handle things in different ways. Vent online if you want, I don''t care. But I''ll say what I wanna say in response with some modicum of civility.

But yeah...some days, I do think, wow...verbal diarrhea...

 

[Kaleigh]

Deco,
I am hoping this thread serves the purpose you set it out to be. I was going to add but have decided to bite my silly tongue. Just be careful with what you share, it's there for all to see...

 

[TravelingGal]

Unless you ask the admin to delete.

ETA, edited...

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/23/2008 11:41:21 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/23/2008 11:40:18 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Deco,
I am hoping this thread serves the purpose you set it out to be. Once you hit submit it''s there forever...

Unless you ask the admin to delete.

Yes true, but best to think twice, that''s all. Clearly you caught me, after I edited my post. It doesn''t matter, says the same thing. TG, You are quick woman!!!