Drama Queening

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/24/2008 12:03:00 AM
Author: decodelighted
It''s funny ... I think there''s been many more jibes at ME in this thread than anyone *else* specifically. No skin off my nose. *shrug*

I''m fine with this thread. It''s general ... not directed at or attacking anyone ... just offering an alternate perspective that *clearly* others identify with.

Well, FWIW, I honestly wasn''t talking about you. Either you''ved toned it down a notch or I''ve grown a thicker skin...who knows!

But seriously, swimmer''s ear?! You do know there are people starving in other countries, right?

But on the other end of the spectrum (and I feel like I need to elaborate since I originally brought it up), I do think there are people who *clearly* identify with me rolling my eyes and scoffing at some people who make it their personal mission to be the drama police (instead of having a little self-restraint and just not posting in the thread). It''s evident by the posters (and even new posters who lurk here) who start off their threads with, "Please be nice to me...", or "I know this may seem silly to some of you but I''m just venting..." etc. That says to me that some people don''t know which side of the very fine line they are on when it comes to giving constructive criticism and just being a wrench.

I just know that I plan on posting about whatever I please. And people can ignore it if they don''t like it. Maybe if we did more ignoring instead of adding fuel to the fire, the "silly" posts will start to disappear.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 8/24/2008 1:50:25 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
I have a feeling that this thread will cause many wonderful PS posters, like Jas, to feel bad about their threads, but the real Drama Queen targets will not identify themselves as targets and will not actually feel bad at all.

BINGO!

Ahhh, Deco- you''re like a fresh breath of air

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/24/2008 2:17:32 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 8/24/2008 1:50:25 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
I have a feeling that this thread will cause many wonderful PS posters, like Jas, to feel bad about their threads, but the real Drama Queen targets will not identify themselves as targets and will not actually feel bad at all.

BINGO!

Ahhh, Deco- you''re like a fresh breath of air

I have a feeling that now everyone is going to question whether or not it''s them, whether they feel bad about it or not, and this whole thread is going to turn into a whole "Oh, no honey...it''s not you." Like these threads always tend to do. I''m not going to apologize, and I don''t feel bad at all...so I guess that answers it! I''m the drama queen! It''s me!

Everyone, get back to work...nothing to see here!

 

[decodelighted]

I *DON''T* think I have the right to judge whether a poster is being too dramatic or whatever. Though its human nature to do so ... (the baser side of human nature) but that isn''t what this thread was ABOUT.

I just wished that SOMETIMES when people realize THEMSELVES that they might have been OOT or attention-grabby or whatever you want to call it: that they come back & COP TO IT.

This has nothing to do with threads where people continue to feel justified about whatever is upsetting them.

Got it?

p.s. --- I''m not going to get into any specific cases involving current posters and whether or not they annoy me. That''s ridiculous. EVERYONE annoys each other from time to time. I don''t live in fear of annoying people and I hope the feeling is mutual.

 

[AGBF]

I don''t feel the same way you do, Deco. I do not know the exact quotation, but there is currently a popular one being reproduced everywhere about not judging others because everyone has a hard battle to fight in life. I will look it up, because I find it moving. At any rate, I started to cry as I read this thread. I did lose my mother this year, and I lost my wonderful dog. And I have had a hard time in other ways which I will not get into, but which some posters know about. Maybe it is because I see life as such a struggle, so very hard, that I want to extend compassion to others. Maybe I am just a bleeding heart liberal, as my Republican husband asserts . Or, perhaps the problem is that I am a social worker. (My husband has said that I love to see people in misery, that if there were no people suffering, I would have no work. I think he was speaking in jest.) At any rate, I try to take things as they come. We have all been asked to be positive on Pricescope. I am not perfect. Sometimes I get snide here. It is my goal, however, to be positive and accepting of people "where they are". I want to be available to listen to eveyone.


This quotation from John Wesley is my inspiration:

"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”


Deborah

 

[decodelighted]

I do see your point AGBF. And am honestly glad that there are people who feel as you do (and act as you do) in this world and in this forum.

 

[HollyS]

I can see deco''s point. (As if that surprised anyone!) And I''ll add:

Along with the drama queening, we have those quick to jump to the defense of anyone (OP or other poster) who they feel has been *snarked* at. Most of the time, the ''offending'' poster, accused of being *snarky*, has merely been straightforward. Rarely; sometimes -- but rarely, has anyone deliberately been mean and ugly to an OP asking for advice or just venting. And if we''re all being completely honest, I think we have to agree that that is true.

We don''t have to like someone else''s response post; we don''t have to agree; but it would be pleasant, wouldn''t it, if we all practiced the same civility with each other that we claim is lacking on the part of the ''offending'' poster. I''d like to see far fewer people criticizing each other''s posts. Because, frankly, that too is all about creating drama where there really is none. And that''s why threads are 6 pages long, taking on a life of their own, long after the OP has resolved their crisis du jour. ''Cause we all feel it necessary to comment on a comment, that was a comment about a comment.

And if that hit a nerve with anyone, then yes, I meant this post for you. (As well as myself; thanks.) It would be nice, however, if no one felt the need to respond directly. If you feel you must, if you just have to, then I believe I''ve proven my point.

 

[vespergirl]

The way that I feel about it is this - sometimes there are things in people''s lives that they feel more comfortable venting about in an anonymous online community, instead of with spouses, family or friends who may be involved in their particular issues, and too close to the topic to offer an objective perspective. Also, since Pricescope is a diamond and jewlery website, it should not be surprising for people to come here to vent about jewelry-related issues. Obviously complaining about something like a chipped diamond is not nearly as serious or important in the grand scheme of things as the death or illness of a family member, but this is a jewelry website, not a grief counseling website. That said, I really do appreciate the fact that many members on PS have gotten to know & care about each other over the years, and I think that it''s awesome that we can support each other in times of need, but I also don''t think we need to judge it as shallow if someone wants to come on a diamond website to vent about jewelry-related issues. I feel like if I''m not interested in someone''s post, I just won''t read it or respond to it.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/24/2008 4:16:06 PM
Author: vespergirl
The way that I feel about it is this - sometimes there are things in people''s lives that they feel more comfortable venting about in an anonymous online community, instead of with spouses, family or friends who may be involved in their particular issues, and too close to the topic to offer an objective perspective. Also, since Pricescope is a diamond and jewlery website, it should not be surprising for people to come here to vent about jewelry-related issues. Obviously complaining about something like a chipped diamond is not nearly as serious or important in the grand scheme of things as the death or illness of a family member, but this is a jewelry website, not a grief counseling website. That said, I really do appreciate the fact that many members on PS have gotten to know & care about each other over the years, and I think that it''s awesome that we can support each other in times of need, but I also don''t think we need to judge it as shallow if someone wants to come on a diamond website to vent about jewelry-related issues. I feel like if I''m not interested in someone''s post, I just won''t read it or respond to it.

I''m with you on the bolded part. I don''t care for drama queens, but I am equally unimpressed with people who feel like the world is entitled to their opinion. (That being said, I really don''t get emotionally invested in PS threads, so really, I care very little about either

) No one makes anyone post anything, let alone responses. When people post, I assume it is a vent unless they ask for advice. If they are venting, why say anything negative? I say crazy things when I am angry too. *shrugs*

I don''t see "OMG, MY BRIDESMAIDS EACH GAINED 1.5 LBS, AND NOW THEIR WRISTS LOOK FAT!" as any more or less dramatic than "YOU NEED TO GO TO THERAPY BECAUSE YOU HAVE PERSONAL PROBLEMS"

(even if they are both TRUE!)

I could honestly go without either. But I like PS, so I take the good, the bad and the ugly. I don''t ream people for being dramatic, or for being critical, I suppose both have the right. Plus, I love to be entertained, and some drama queens and critics are gosh-darn HYSTERICAL!

I am glad you started this thread though, I have really enjoyed the tongue in cheek banter!!!

 

[diamondsrock]

Date: 8/23/2008 11:08:56 PM
Author: strmrdr
Drama Queening?
Kinda like this thread eh?

I just hope you never have a bad day and need a little support and no one is around in person.

I agree. To be honest, to start a thread discussing how people don't apologize for being petty about their problems is asking for trouble. You will ALWAYS be disappointed if you expect people to do what you want them to. Just doesn't happen and ain't gonna happen. I've learned to expect little from people in general, then I'm not disappointed. Sorry if that sounds negative.
Not saying I don't vent occassionally, especially in the area of good manners, but why get so worked up about it????? I don't even follow or read the threads you are referring to so, so maybe you should stay away from them as well? I am just not that invested I guess to follow every thread on this board. If it bothers you that much, stay away from them. This is a public forum and you have no control over other's opinions, problems, complaints, etc... I understand that petty complaining bothers you, as it does me, but it is part of life and is not going to change. There are people whom I absolutely adore and people whom I honestly can't stand being around because they drain me. That is why I stay away from situations where it is occuring if possible.
Edited to add: Deco, I've been meaning to tell you for a while how adorable your doggie is! I absolutely love that pic. Every time I see it, I think I should take my dog to the ocean and take some pictures of her!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hmm...I hope I haven''t caused too much scoffing with my dramatic threads over things that have happened around my wedding.

Oh well. I try to be really happy overall and supportive of people on PS and I try not to judge people for venting about problems in their life. Obviously some things are more serious than others..e.g. cancer v. friend drama. I just try to keep myself in perspective and when I get upset remind myself there are worse things that could be going on..but that doesn''t make even silly things feel 100% better sometimes. *shrug*

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/24/2008 4:14:24 PM
Author: HollyS


And if that hit a nerve with anyone, then yes, I meant this post for you. (As well as myself; thanks.) It would be nice, however, if no one felt the need to respond directly. If you feel you must, if you just have to, then I believe I''ve proven my point.

Well aren''t you clever. Guess I''m proving your point! But only to agree with you since your point is the same as mine...it''s just "shadddddddddup already and worry about more important things". Don''t post. Ignore it. Except we defend opposite sides of the argument. But I think "shadddddddddddup" applies to everyone, don''t you?

When I defend posters that I think are being harped on I do it less for the OP and more because I think the snarker needs to seriously get over themselves. And because I''ve probably checked that person''s history specifically to see if they are nice to anyone on the board. But most of the time I take my own advice and just don''t respond

. It takes a lot to offend me now, but it does happen now and again. However, when an admitted snark tells another snark that their posts DO seem a little mean...and that snark just blows it off (even though they''ve probably been told the same thing by dozens of others), that''s what really gets me-- Dishing it out and not being able to take it. I

it. When your own fellow snark is telling you to give it a rest, that says something. lol!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/24/2008 8:33:57 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Hmm...I hope I haven''t caused too much scoffing with my dramatic threads over things that have happened around my wedding.

Oh well. I try to be really happy overall and supportive of people on PS and I try not to judge people for venting about problems in their life. Obviously some things are more serious than others..e.g. cancer v. friend drama. I just try to keep myself in perspective and when I get upset remind myself there are worse things that could be going on..but that doesn''t make even silly things feel 100% better sometimes. *shrug*

Sarah, that is what PS is for! It is an online forum... and that means discussion, conversation, it''s a great big chat room with lots of room for ''silly'' conversations.
Just because it''s written down, doesn''t mean it has to be serious and formal, surely.
Surely not every conversation you''ve ever had with your RL friends is a serious or lofty topic? Well, that''s how I think it should be on PS too! And that''s also why, while I generally ''get'' a lot of what Holly says, I don''t really think we should self-censor too much on PS. If people want to carry on a conversation about something important to them - but not to me - who am I to judge. Even if I''m the original OP, to be honest. I''m happy to let them carry on talking!

 

[crown1]

Date: 8/24/2008 3:04:20 PM
Author: AGBF






I don''t feel the same way you do, Deco. I do not know the exact quotation, but there is currently a popular one being reproduced everywhere about not judging others because everyone has a hard battle to fight in life. I will look it up, because I find it moving. At any rate, I started to cry as I read this thread. I did lose my mother this year, and I lost my wonderful dog. And I have had a hard time in other ways which I will not get into, but which some posters know about. Maybe it is because I see life as such a struggle, so very hard, that I want to extend compassion to others. Maybe I am just a bleeding heart liberal, as my Republican husband asserts . Or, perhaps the problem is that I am a social worker. (My husband has said that I love to see people in misery, that if there were no people suffering, I would have no work. I think he was speaking in jest.) At any rate, I try to take things as they come. We have all been asked to be positive on Pricescope. I am not perfect. Sometimes I get snide here. It is my goal, however, to be positive and accepting of people ''where they are''. I want to be available to listen to eveyone.


This quotation from John Wesley is my inspiration:

''Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”


Deborah

i don''t have a dog in this hunt but i am familiar with this quote and i thank you for posting it. i have not thought about it for quite a while and it is good to be reminded.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 8/24/2008 1:21:41 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 8/24/2008 10:24:50 AM
Author: jas
Honestly, no snark intended in the following, but I lost some sleep over this thread (which I know might surprise some of you):

What is acceptable to vent about? What level of ''serious issue'' does not raise people''s ire or cause longer-time posters to roll their virtual eyes?

I ask as someone who vents here sometimes, and now I feel rather foolish and, to be honest, somewhat belittled by some comments on this thread. Even if the comments don''t apply to me per se, I feel oddly embarrassed.

It''s almost like I need to qualify my ventings with personal history. Hi, I''m 35 years old, have survived cancer, nearly died in a car accident, have changed careers twice, won awards in two careers, have degrees from 2 of the best universities in the world, paid for a lot of my own wedding, established a great career, so please don''t flame me or send me to therapy for asking about xyz.

I do see a lot of threads on PS that remind me of when I was younger and life was much more...dramatic. Either I offer my opinion in a way that I think I would have listened to or I don''t write anything at all. A cry for help, and even a cry for attention, is still a cry. If I''m not in the mood to give someone attention, I don''t. If I think someone is over-the-top, I may or may not tell them that. And yes, sometimes I sugar-coat it, but still send the message, ''Hey, ya know, get over yourself.'' Kindess and honesty are not always mutually exclusive. That''s how I was raised. I know that others here on PS think that is a chicken-sh*t approach, and that''s fine.

I hope I didn''t offend anyone. I''m just trying to give a little perspective here.

I am going to take a PS break for awhile. I''m way too worked up and lost too much sleep on this last night.

Sorry if I upset anyone. Not my intention.

See everyone on the flip side. I know this adds a some fuel to the fire and I will live with that.

jas, I wouldn''t call it that at all. I''d call it classy.

And if a short break is needed, that''s fine. But we expect you back within a few days, and if you don''t show up, we will hunt you down woman. Face it, you can''t hide, you''re too big.

I realized after I couldn''t edit this post, that while jas and I, and a few others would know what this meant, not all would. So I just wanted to point out that dear jas is carrying little twinlets, due in the very near future. I wasn''t just calling her fat!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Deco,

I broke a nail

… can you please stroke my already oversized ego?

LOL Deco, you are one of my favorite posters and it’s your honesty that pulls me in. *muah* This post is a generalized statement, not directed at you dear (oh and I am search tirelessly for rose gold pieces, I should start you a thread).

I think at some point we are all guilty of posting things that are overly dramatic. Some of us only realize the miniscule nature of the topic a few days (weeks or months) later after looking back over the topic. I suppose it is our own egocentric natures that inflate our issues internally, forgetting the bigger picture.

I''ve offered my 2 cents enough that I have spent my children’s future college tuition. Here lately I have avoided most of these "drama queening" threads as the immaturity exhibited by OP and some of the snarky comments by those that have no couth; as any possible comment by those genuinely trying to help fall on deaf ears.

It is easy to pass judgment from the outside looking in and for many, hindsight is 20/20. The highly complicated nature of a longstanding forum community, with members that have contributed for the best part of a decade it is understandable how the repetitious content over time can become an annoyance. It annoys the tar out of me that people can’t (or WON’T) use the search feature before posting a question…is this a newbie thing? Laziness?- I digress.

Anyway, I think people should speak their minds. At the end of the day the “sugary sweet” advice (i''m guilty of it don''t panic) doesn’t cost a thing or amount to a world of horsepocky but the “hard cold truth” is priceless.

– You can quote me on that.