Don''t want to wait anymore!!!!!!!!

[KissyKissy]

Most of the time I am o.k. with waiting it out until b.f. proposes. But the last couple of days I have been going crazy having to wait!! I want to get engaged!! Now!! *stomps foot*.

Ok, thanks for letting me vent since I obviously can''t throw a tantrum in front of my b.f.

 

[caligal]

Me neither Kissy!

And I''m waiting to hear back and see if I got a job I interviewed for last Friday- they told me within 2 weeks... who waits 2 weeks! I feel like I''m waiting for everything.... proposal, job, will I be moving soon?!

 

[Mannequin]

I''m with you guys. He''s been cooking up something sparklie, I can tell, but has been focusing on waiting to hear back from interviews and applications placed at local law firms. He just got an offer from his first choice firm yesterday, so now he has to get moving on the proposal plans!

 

[Mandarine]

Me! Me!! Can I vent too???

Thanks in advance...I''ll try to make it short!

I can''t wait anymore either!!! it''s really driving me crazy. My best friend told me he''s probably waiting until I''m not thinking about it AT ALL....hello?? that''s never going to happen! it''s always kind of there in the back of my mind. As much as I enjoy what we have today...there is still that little thing inside of me that doesn''t understand why it doesn''t happen NOW!

There was a thread about planning...and I don''t want to start planning but we know we want a destination wedding...so I''ve just been brainstorming ideas to narrow down the number of possibilities (countries) so when the time comes I at least have a vague idea of where to start!. So I asked him a question (like what do you think of X, Y and Z countries) and he replied something like "I don''t really think guys like to get *too* involved with planning before the engagement"....and then said something like "we can focus on that when there is a plan in place"

What is that suppossed to mean? specially coming from the guy that a couple of months ago told me I should start doing some research? maybe sign-up to the knot or whatever???. Is he trying to giving me mixed signals?. It really hurt me...

I sent him an e-mail saying that I didn''t understand why he says that when before he was all for "brainstorming"....I told him I obviously DIDN''t know when there will be a plan in place....

He didn''t respond my last e-mail...and that just hurts me more!.... arghhh.....

Ok...sorry for the hitchjack (not sure if that''s the right spelling

)

I just got home to check my e-mails...didn''t find anything and had to come vent...

Kissy, I''m with you....stomping my foot too! and a little sad

 

[anchor31]

Count me in... I''m still waiting for him to save up the money... I''ve been waiting for months, and it looks like it''ll be another few months still... He said "soon" a week ago, but then last weekend he said he''s still waiting for his tax refund and he''ll still have 600$ missing! So, "boy soon" vs "girl soon" strikes again!

"Soon" for me would have been my birthday in two weeks!

Sometimes I get so frustrated and think "Come on, how hard can it be to save 2k??" I understand he doesn''t have the most paying job as he''s been working for a little over a year and doing contract work, and I know he still has his car payments to make, but darn it... I''m a student, and I could''ve bought it myself months ago and still have plenty of money left!!

Not to mention that I''m really starting to think that he''ll insist on going local, which most probably means I won''t be getting as much as I could get online.

We''ll have to go shopping again, but I''m really skeptical that we could get a .50ct H&A ideal cut I-VS1 in a tiffany 4-prongs WG setting for $1800-ish Canadian tax included like we could get online in a local store... And I don''t think I''m asking for the moon here, so... *sigh*

I''m feeling rather "blah" over the whole thing right now!

 

[Rhapsody]

Sometimes it feels like I have been waiting forever! Its been about three years since we started seriously talking about getting engaged and what our time-lines were. It was the end of our 3rd year of college, some of our friends had already gotten married and several others were engaged, planning on a wedding the next summer. It was so frustrating watching people who had been together for a year or so getting engaged when we had been together 4! Thats when I first started looking at diamonds and rings online, fell in love with my Tacori setting and found pricescope. Spring 2003, seems SO long ago now.

The summer after that, a bit after our 5th anniversary I was really starting to get annoyed. Literally all of our friends were married, some were already having kids and buying their first houses and I was freaking out! That Christmas for some reason I thought he might propose and I was crushed when he didn''t. Realistically I knew he wanted to wait to get me my dream ring since neither of us wants to upgrade and I knew he didn''t have the money for it but I was still so disappointed. So he promised that we would be engaged by the end of 2005.

We''ve had the diamond almost a year, the ring has been in the house since Feb and I''m starting to go CRAZY! My boyfriend works an 8-6 job and then does another 20 hrs/week or so in contract work so he''s just ridiculously busy and on one hand I feel bad for wanting him to spend more time finishing whatever it is he''s doing on the other I just want to smack him and say "Come on! This should come first!"

Nah nah, my rant is better than yours!

I hope your proposal comes soon. Good luck with the waiting, we''re all here for you!

 

[indecisive]

I am pretty crushed lately too. He gave me a timeframe that it would happen before this week and I was kind of hinting around and he told me he made a mistake and it won''t happen for a few weeks. It pretty much felt like a kick in the stomach because he promised that he wasn''t trying to trick me when he gave me the first timeframe. Plus the ring is in our townhouse and the 10 day Whiteflash return period just expired. I know he has something planned and he thinks it will be great but I kind of feel like if he had wanted it to be a huge planned out proposal he should have done it sooner. Now I really just want him to give it to me while we are cuddling or something. I just want to be engaged!! I don''t know how to wait any longer.

 

[ephemery1]

Oooooh fun, a rant thread!!! I''ll join... my BF told my friend that she could have her engagement party for us in mid-June, so I''m assuming he''s planning on proposing before then. Which gives us less than... 2 months? So WHEN??? I''m not involved in the ring-finding process so I have no idea if he has one or not... all I know is that I''ve been anxiously waiting for every special occasion that has come up between last summer and now. Even this weekend... he wanted us to stay in the city ourselves to spend quality time, rather than go anywhere to visit families... then during Sunday brunch he randomly asked if I''d mind coming back to his apartment with him afterwards to help move some furniture. Hmm...ok. Then before we went upstairs to his apartment, he said he needed to use the bathroom, but would I mind running over to WaWa and getting us sodas before I came up? I REALLY thought he was up to something... but alas, no. I told him originally I wanted to be engaged before our friends'' weddings start this summer, and the first one is May 5th, but somehow I doubt it''s going to happen before then... too much else going on in these next few weeks.

Ugh... I''m ready, already!!!

 

[ephemery1]

Haha... I just scrolled up and looked at all the emoticons we each used in this thread... we really are feeling pretty sorry for ourselves, huh?

 

[jesterjigger]

I don''t know how you ladies do it. I''ve only been seriously waiting for a month...some of you have been waiting for years! I think if I had to wait that long I probably would have found a new bf by now.

Actually, I did that, kind of, with the guy I was dating before current bf. I waited almost a year after we broke up (he''d been cheating on me for the last six months of our relationship, but I didn''t find that out until more recently) but finally realized that he wasn''t going to be ready to marry me for a very long time (after I got serious w/current bf he called and said that he wanted another chance and that he''d be ready to get married within five years...um...that''s nice...but not for me). But he wasn''t the one for me anyway. If I was with "the one" maybe I could wait. I just don''t understand why guys insist upon waiting.

I think I know when my guy is going to do it (trip to NYC the third week of May) so I''ll be good until then. Though I have to say...if he does it before that it''d completely blow me away, but I think he''ll come up with something completely romantic for NYC so that''ll be good too.

I hope everyone gets exactly what they''re waiting for sooner, rather than later. And it helps a lot to have a place like this to vent and try to offer support. You guys have been great for me, and I can''t thank you enough for the comfort I get from frequenting these boards.

 

[kcoursolle]

Hey Kissy,
It''s tough. Hang in there, it''ll happen. This is a good place to let it all out so you don''t nag him about it hahaha. Keep in mind that the more time he waits, the more time he might be planning to make the proposal extra special.

 

[Scooba]

yup, I am getting kind of annoyed too, I know he has the ring, and I thought something might happen today because last night he told me he had "access" to the ring but that I wouldn''t find it, so I figured that meant it''s out of the house somewhere. Then today when we were coming home he pulled up to the door and said "bye I have to go do something" and I said what and he said not to worry about it, and he was back like 10 minutes later so I thought he went to get the ring, but now that it didn''t happen today I know it won''t be tomorrow or Saturday either because we will be really busy and barely see each other. Last night he also told me that he was asking people for ideas on how to ask me but everyone asked their wives and fiances in a cheesy way, and he said that he wouldn''t be able to suprise me because I would know it was coming if anything was out of the ordinary, well duh. I''m like obviously you are not going to be able to suprise me because i will be looking for it to happen everyday until it does and I am already reading into everything. So i know it will be within the month for practical planning reasons of our 2 engagement parties that have to happen end of June and beginning of July, but it sucks to wait everyday. Anyway that was a stupid rant and I''m sorry to anyone who read it.

 

[ephemery1]

Don''t apologize, Diamonds... all of our rants are probably a LITTLE stupid (no offense to anyone who is taking theirs super-seriously

)... but at the very least, yours was definitely no worse than mine!!

 

[sk8rjen]

My my, I am SOOOOOO glad to have a place to rant for a sec til he''s out of the shower....his mom just forwarded aan email from his aunt -- his cousin (like a brother to him) is ring shopping and planning a weekend proposal and a spring wedding. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH. His cousin and his girl have been "back together" (after a couple of years apart -- they dated before) for like 3 freakin months!!!!

So now I get you guys and how you felt in that other thread --- if we get engaged now it''ll seem so copycat --- and they''re having the big ole fancy wedding/reception and we are planning a destination wedding with reception upon return, so now ALLLLLL of the attention is on them and nobody even knows we''re working on it. Did I mention how he doesn''t like to talk about personal stuff with his family? So ok, I''m impatient and just got really pizzy with him last night over this. THAT''s not helping!!!

jen

 

[firebirdgold]

Well, If our trip goes by without him every bringing up the ring or engagement... I may be joining in on this rant in May!

It is nice to be able to vent to people other than our bf''s.

 

[Blenheim]

Oooh, a rant!

So, my BF told me that while he may have already bought the ring, if he hasn''t (the most likely possibility, in my mind) then he''s probably going to go shopping for it three weeks from now. Which would be fine, if it weren''t FIVE DAYS BEFORE THE DEADLINE HE GAVE ME. And I don''t want to be really pushy and unreasonable and say "No you have to buy it NOW!!

Screw studying for exams, buy me my ring!" So, I''m biting my tongue and expecting that he may need to extend his deadline.

I can''t believe that some of you have been waiting so long.

 

[diamondfan]

I applaud you guys for letting your feelings out here. Just one thought...it may be sooner than you think!!! If your guys are anything like my husband was, his thrill (sick and nasty but we have to have out kicks somewhere I guess) was keeping me off guard, or thinking it was WAYYY in the future. He had the ring for weeks and yet acted like he had no idea what to do , and he had already done all his research and planned when etc...but would play dumb and unsure if we spoke. He wanted to really keep some element as a surprise and though it was a bit sadistic (he knew I was over analyzing things!) in the end it was fine. So just hang in there! Good luck and I am sure we will see you coming back to post about the proposal and your rings!!!

 

[meepcat]

I called around for venues today, obtaining quotes on 2007 or 2008 summertime weddings. I called 2 caterers, got their rates. I called a photographer, one that I liked back in 2001, who still shoots weddings, and am waiting to hear back on her rates. I established a budget for our wedding, along with writing up a comprehensive guest list, engagement party guest list, and comprehensive venue information. I created an account with honeymoon.com, and looked at options for a registry. I wrote up a master tasklist in my wiki for the wedding, including all tasks from the rudimentary planning stages, through to the day of the wedding. I called a couple of resort hotels with the best spas in the world moniker, to obtain rates for accomodations during summertime 2007, 2008. I wrote all my information down in this wiki.

This is my way of coping with waiting.

By the time we get engaged, my mind will probably have changed about how to do the wedding, but I''ll have all the information to start from. However, by the time I get to be a bride-in-waiting, I won''t have anymore wedding planning to do!

My girlfriend told me tonight, as I vented to her my frustrations with waiting, "this is the best time before you get married. You have something to look forward to. Once it''s done, it just won''t be the same." That is true -- the feeling of becoming betrothed is a rare thing, especially when you''re in love and feel for the one who wants to engage.

"By the end of this year," he said. What the heck does that mean, in male terms?

 

[Mandarine]

Meepcat...that''s my timeline too!

That means any time before Dec. 31 11:59 pm...

I feel better today! Kissy thanks for opening this thread and letting us all vent!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/21/2006 12:12:12 AM
Author: diamondfan
I applaud you guys for letting your feelings out here. Just one thought...it may be sooner than you think!!! If your guys are anything like my husband was, his thrill (sick and nasty but we have to have out kicks somewhere I guess) was keeping me off guard, or thinking it was WAYYY in the future. He had the ring for weeks and yet acted like he had no idea what to do , and he had already done all his research and planned when etc...but would play dumb and unsure if we spoke. He wanted to really keep some element as a surprise and though it was a bit sadistic (he knew I was over analyzing things!) in the end it was fine. So just hang in there! Good luck and I am sure we will see you coming back to post about the proposal and your rings!!!

That's what he said last week... But as I said, "sooner than I think" would be my birthday on May 6th... So he obviously has no idea of what "I think". I really doubt he's being sneaky, because he's the least subtle person in the whole world. He's actually very excited about getting his tax refund (in a few weeks, probably) and then still having 600$ to save...

So, realistically, I don't think he's going to be ready to buy for another two or three months. After waiting for 6 months, that is no longer "soon"...

I'm feeling really bummed these days... Right now I wish we'd skip the whole thing and elope this summer, just the two of us in casual dress in my cute little church back home. However, I know J wants the whole thing.

I know I'm lucky and I shouldn't be complaining, but I've never felt like this before... Like an important part of my future is in his hands right now and I'm having a hard time handling that. It was fun and exciting for a while, but he told me he was thinking about proposing in September, gave me in 2006 timeframe in November and took me ring shopping in February, so right now I'm feeling like he has to "sh*t or get off the pot". And I have to admit that it scares me that he's had a plan since at least November and he still hasn't saved up the 2k... Makes me wonder if he's really serious about this, or if I'll always have to worry about his finances, you know? On the other hand, he might have planned his thing out and the only reason why he doesn't have the money now might be because he "still has until December 31st" or something. But he has no idea what this is doing to me!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent...

Edited for clarity

 

[sk8rjen]

Anchor --Im sorry youre frustrated -- i think we are all having a tough time letting go of the control to let our guys have their (eventual) moments!! Hopefully he gets his $$ and act together soon -- chin up!

I feel really bad about my jealous rant about my boys cousin, but the timing sucks. And after having it out that night, I felt like he got really cold feet. He said we just havent been happy lately. Well, I know my impatience is taking a toll on me, and it definitely is taking a toll on us, but its all in the spirit of us being together, committed forever. I told him we can focus on *happy* more, but i am not going to just magically become patient -- oddly enough, he was ok with that. I know we are working on the ring, but you all who are doing this or have done this know that getting the ring doesnt always = engagement. I told him i WILL NOT look at a ring box on a self for 10 weeks no matter how amazing the proposal is (rhapsody, no offense --you inspired me!) He got that too.

So I told him I want him to talk to his mom and start by telling him that the announcement of his cousin''s upcoming engagement is quite coincidental timing b/c we have our ring being custom made and are waiting until it''s here to make things official. I told him I wanted her to know that and for him to also suggest that she and her SIL plan the "engagement party" (for his cousin and for us) together for both. Then we can all celebrate together. Well, I expected him to tell me I was being presumptuous in suggesting that since we really are NOT engaged yet, but , no, he actually said he WOULD.

And it''s supposed to happen today.

So if that''s the case, we could be having an engagement party before we''re really engaged, OR he might just hurry up and do it already! So I''m happy now. Plus I should hear from Mark on 2 diamonds today and then we can have one of those shipped. ok happy happy joy joy!

jen

 

[Mimikins24]

sk8rjen, that sounds like some good news on your front!

I am in definite need of some venting today. I finished my second year law school exams on Wednesday (yay!!!). My BF doesn''t finish his exams until Monday, so I am sort of stuck here with nothing to do. On Tuesday we are travelling back home (we are a couple hours away from our home city because of school). On Saturday we start wedding season with his uncle''s wedding --- I know all you ladies understand the stress of family weddings and the questioning involved. Basically I have to spend the next couple of days looking for a dress for this wedding, and I need to spend time cleaning the house before we leave too (the floor is covered in my studying aftermath). I also need to pack everything up because I have to move back to my home city for my summer job.

What is really disappointing to me is that this is the only week I will have off all summer. I start my summer position on May 1st and it will continue right up until I have to pack everything back up and move back for school.

My boyfriend promised me a mini-vacation together this week --- but he didn''t look into his exam schedule (???)

. So now there is no vacation at all this summer and I am not too opimistic about next summer as I will likely start an articling position right after exams are done. The vacation was even more important to me because BF and I will be 3 hours apart all summer because he is continuing to take classes and I am working back home. I know that isn''t the end of the world (and many other couples deal with worse separation), but we have lived together for 1.5 years, so it will be a big change.

My best friend from law school was supposed to come shopping with me to find a dress for the wedding, but I can''t get ahold of her. She and her BF don''t seem to be at home. I know they have been talking about getting engaged and she thought that he had something up his sleeve --- so I am wondering if he didn''t surprise her with a trip and a ring after her exams were done. He is moving in a couple of months to pursue his education and I know she had her heart set on being engaged before they did the long distance thing.

Anyway I told my BF about my friend and my suspicions about why she and her BF aren''t around. He said, "you''re going to be pi**ed if they get engaged before us aren''t you?". I think he actually thought this was kind of funny!!!

I will be so happy for them if they get engaged soon!!! They are a great couple and I know that this is what my friend wants right now --- but they are 2 years younger than us, have been dating for about 1/2 the time we have, and they only started talking about getting engaged at Christmas (and I have been waiting for over a year for something to happen). Of course I will be happy for them, but I will definitely be upset about our situation.

I just don''t get why men can''t understand that women are human too and we can''t help but compare ourselves to other people. I don''t enjoy feeling hurt and jealous when an important person in my life has something great happen for them --- but sometimes I do feel that way and I don''t need my BF to call attention to it and make me feel worse. The whole engagement thing is a rather sore spot at this point, so I don''t understand why he feels the need to rub salt in the wound. He is such a sensitive person, so it really boggles my mind when he says things like that to me. Why can''t he understand?

 

[Evie75]

Date: 4/21/2006 8:18:31 AM
Author: Mandarine
Meepcat...that''s my timeline too!

That means any time before Dec. 31 11:59 pm...

I feel better today! Kissy thanks for opening this thread and letting us all vent!

LOL!

 

[swt_acacia]

I DID have a tantrum in front of BF last night. Well, not exactly a tantrum, we just had one of those discussions that didn''t go anywhere and ended up involving tears. Didn''t mean to, it just sort of happened.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/21/2006 2:26:28 PM
Author: Mimikins24
I just don''t get why men can''t understand that women are human too and we can''t help but compare ourselves to other people. I don''t enjoy feeling hurt and jealous when an important person in my life has something great happen for them --- but sometimes I do feel that way and I don''t need my BF to call attention to it and make me feel worse. The whole engagement thing is a rather sore spot at this point, so I don''t understand why he feels the need to rub salt in the wound. He is such a sensitive person, so it really boggles my mind when he says things like that to me. Why can''t he understand?

I don''t know why they don''t understand these things... They probably tell themselves "Well, she knows it''s coming soon, so she should be happy..." I guess we should, but... Hello?? I they haven''t got their act together after six months or more of "we''re going to be engaged soon", I think we have the right to be pissed.

No, my mood hasn''t improved yet. I was scammed and I lost 458$ this week (here goes J''s engagement present...) and with the finals coming... Things are not so shiny on my end lately.

 

[midgirl]

Mine came when I least expected it too and I also STOMPED my foot in my frusteration post!!!!!


I HOPE he does it soon because it is the BEST feeling EVER!!!!!!

When I knew it was in my apartment someone I stayed on here, which kept me really busy and I also window shopped a lot (clothes) and I cleaned my house like mad. When I couldn''t stand it any longer I made him watch the wedding singer and wedding crashers!! ha ha

 

[JenStone]

Everyone should show their boyfriends what my engaged friend wrote in his webblog:

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Fellas, here’s a little secret for you : the week following the day you proposed will be the best week of your relationship. Trust me, she will be soooo happy you finally proposed that she will practically bend over backwards for you. Diamonds have a power of clouding women’s judgement.

My word of advice? Take advantage of this ! Go buckwild ! Your wish is her command.

Always wanted a hummer while driving?
No Problemo!

Too lazy to get your ass off the couch to get a beer while watching the game?
Uh, honey can you grab me a cold one?

Wanted an opportunity to borrow her underwear so that you could wear them while dancing to “Livin La Vida Loca?”
Now’s the time to do it. (er, not that I ever did this).

Warning :You must do it within the week of your proposal because like the story of Cinderella, once the clock strikes 12 ( a week later), she will revert back to her old self and you will forever lose the chance to ask her to make out with her best friend without getting punched in the grill.

LOL!

When I showed my boyfriend this, he started cracking up and said, "That is a pretty good incentive to propose soon."

*edit* - sorry if the above offends anyone....my friend created this "secret" blog to vent about the stressful process of planning a wedding, from a guy's point of view. He very sarcastic and is a total jokester - I think it's hilarious!

 

[KissyKissy]

Whew! I was worried you would all think I was a huge brat but I''m glad other women feel the same way!! Waiting for something so special is soooo hard! I really have absoultely NO idea when anything could happen. He didn''t (or doesn''t) want any help with the ring (other than me leaving a couple of pictures open on my computer we haven''t talked about it much). We haven''t talked timelines or deadlines or ANYTHING. But...I know our wedding date because another big anniversary for us wil be on a Saturday in a little over a year. So I have a date but that''s all.

My fingers are crossed for me AND for all of you!!! But...I will have to uncross them if he proposes with a pretty ring to put on one very important finger! But then I''ll cross them again for you until your special day comes too!!!!!

I CAN''T FREAKING WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!