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Wedding Don''t want to Register

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BELLA9280

BELLA9280

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 18, 2007
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381
Does anyone feel the same as me?? i do not want to register anywhere!! DH and I live together and have for 1.5years we live in a one bedroom apt. which is pretty big but its full i have no room for anything else. we have everything and dont need towels, bedding, pots, forks, plates, ect. I dont need to register for china my mother has 3 sets for each of my sisters and I.

we are going to be buying a townhouse after the wedding but thats in a year or so and i dont know what im going to need at that point, but probably not much!!

my sister said she really wants to throw me a shower and i said i didnt want one, she suggested that i register at liberty travel for our honeymoon, what do you guys think? has anyone looked into this?? Advice please
 
What about furniture? You could always register for cheaper things, return it all, and use the grand total to buy something really great (sofa, dining room table, etc..) I know Sears, home depot, etc, has registries. Maybe stuff for your new place.
 
Register, or else you will get a bunch of random figurines, etc. Trust me, I watched one of my friend''s go through it and it wasn''t pretty! Use your registry to upgrade some of the things you might have, but might need to be replaced or could be nicer.

I like the **idea** of honeymoon registries but there are a few things to consider:

1. Many places will take a cut of the $ people give you.
2. You need to know very far in advance what you can afford for the honeymoon, which isn''t always practical. For example, you can''t count on people buying you a honeymoon, so what if everyone buys you breakfast in bed or other small things FOR your honeymoon and then you can''t afford the flights, hotels, etc? Just something to consider...
 
hmmm very good points. we dont need furniture we bought some things when we moved in and my parents were moving at the time and gave us alot! i really love my stuff and dont want to waste peoples money upgrading when there really is nothing wrong with what we have its a sin to get rid of perfectly good stuff!! good points about the travel company taking a cut and stuff, what about a money shower???
 
Date: 10/19/2007 7:43:23 PM
Author: BELLA9280
hmmm very good points. we dont need furniture we bought some things when we moved in and my parents were moving at the time and gave us alot! i really love my stuff and dont want to waste peoples money upgrading when there really is nothing wrong with what we have its a sin to get rid of perfectly good stuff!! good points about the travel company taking a cut and stuff, what about a money shower???
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I do not mean this in an offensive way...but there is no other way to say it. I think that any time you are *asking* for money from people attending your event is tacky and a bit rude.
 
I think that i should just stick with my first idea of NO SHOWER< NO RESISTRY!!
 
Since you don''t want the less expensive homestocking stuff typically given at a shower, DO NOT throw a typical shower. Either throw an engagement party or a girls lunch or tea or something (with no presents expected) or throw a shower where people are asked to bring less typical items, like recipes or pictures or something.

Depending on your cultural background, you might want to register for SOMETHING. Registering for a lot of housewares with a complete intent to return them all is a bit much for my taste (imagine the disingenuous thank you letters you will have to write! ''Dear Aunt Mary, the colander and potato peeler you sent us was fabulous! We use it often...'')

I would go with the honeymoon registry but take care to plan something that both doesn''t involve too much price-padding and restrictions with the agency AND something for which you can reasonably afford to cover any shortfalls. Basically, make sure that your can buy your airfare and basic lodging, and count on people to buy you nights out, activities and such that you could safely cut back on if the honeymoon registry isn''t so popular. You can also hint that you prefer money, but some people like to give tangibles and will pick unfortunate blenders and mismatched tableware for you if you don''t give them guidance.
 
thanks Cara!! that makes me feel a little better, im still leaning more towards no shower! its just tooo much of a hassle for everyone when im happy with the "things" i have
 
Hi Bella,

I felt the same way when I was getting married. I didn''t want an engagement party, shower or bachelorette party. I just wanted to marry my guy without any fuss. Since both DH and I were already established in our lives and we were merging households we really didn''t need anything. In fact, we had double of everything! I was joking with DH saying that I was going to have a shower and that we were going to send our friends home with ''gifts''. However, as Neatfreak mentioned, your guests will want to give you gifts so better to register for some things than to not and get gifts that leave you wondering
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No showers, no registry, we spread the word that our gift from each of our guests was there attendance, if they insisted we shared the name of a few charities we love and asked that they donate to.
 
yeah all great ideas im still thinking too much work ill just pass on the shower
 
I truely think you should consider gift cards. You could them for movies, restrants you like or grocieries. I was always told the reason gift cards were a little tacky was becuase then you would know how much the person spent, but you know how much the stuff you registered for cost so it seems like that would eliminate the tackyness problem.
 
Bella, I think many are in the same boat. We lived together for 7 years before getting married and didn''t need anything, so I decided to forget about the registry. I declined when my MOH wanted to host a shower and politely told all of our guests that we''d prefer no gifts.

Turns out people are not as happy about not giving gifts as you''d think. We were basically told we would be given money or something off of our registry and I didn''t want either. Our solution, about a month before the wedding, was to register for inexpensive items which was a good compromise. They could bring a gift, I was happy knowing nobody had to spend much. We did consider a honeymoon registry, but I was frustrated that every website seemed to keep a % of the "gifts".

We only told those people about the registry who asked and we got a whole lotta random crap which is now sitting in our basement. We also replaced a bunch of stuff in our house that wasn''t really worn out. We do appreciate eveything we got. Unless you want a bunch of picture frames and tea pots, register!
 
Register somewhere where they let you return stuff for cash!

We are upgrading some things (getting better pots, matching towels, etc., the crazy monster pepper-mill, etc.) but really don''t need much stuff either. Plus, we have no room. NO ROOM!!!! So we also registered for some random stuff, thinking that when and if it arrived and we thought ''huh? what are we going to do with this?'' we''ll just return it and put the money into our ''bigger home'' fund, which is what we really need.

But, definitely no shower. The only kind of shower I would want would be one where I got stuff that was use-up-able... like yummy scented candles, chocolates, that kind of thing. That would be awesome. Shame all my ladies live far farrrrr away!
 
i see thanks guys
 
One more vote for no registry, no anything...you are a great, considerate bride for even inquiring.
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Hi Bella,

It looks like you may have decided already what you want to do but I''ll throw in my opinion. I think registering for gift cards is pretty much the same as asking for money. If people gave you a gift card by their own choosing, that''s one thing, but asking for them doesn''t seem the best way.

One of the travel agencies we were considering using has their own honeymoon registry. The woman I spoke with said that it doesn''t cost guests anything extra, and it''s not quite the same as using an online honeymoon registry. I''m not sure of the specific details but it''s something to look into. Maybe you could contact a travel agency and ask if they have their own registry program.
 
Date: 10/19/2007 8:55:38 PM
Author: KimberlyH
No showers, no registry, we spread the word that our gift from each of our guests was there attendance, if they insisted we shared the name of a few charities we love and asked that they donate to.
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what she said.

we did the same thing. we were both in our 30''s, living together, with good careers. asking our guests to buy us towels just didn''t make sense for us. we did have a website since most of our guests were coming in from out of town. there we explained that our guests'' presence at the wedding, or their well-wishes from afar, was their gift. in our "registry" section we had links to our 3 favorite charities. it worked well for us. and, no, we didn''t get a lot of random gifts/knick-knacks.
 
I got married last month - and DH and I definitely didn''t want any gifts. We were in our 30s, both have careers and bought our house 3 and 1/2 years before we got married.

We wrote a cheesy little poem about the wedding and included the following lines:

You''ll notice no registry, we have plenty of stuff.
And truly your presence is present enough!

We got a few gift cards and some cash, but really no god awful knick-knacks.
 
Date: 10/20/2007 11:13:10 AM
Author: littlelysser
I got married last month - and DH and I definitely didn''t want any gifts. We were in our 30s, both have careers and bought our house 3 and 1/2 years before we got married.


We wrote a cheesy little poem about the wedding and included the following lines:


You''ll notice no registry, we have plenty of stuff.

And truly your presence is present enough!


We got a few gift cards and some cash, but really no god awful knick-knacks.
Click to expand...

I think this is a GREAT way to deal with it. I also really like the ideas about charity listings instead of registry info. But if you don''t mention it at all, I think you will receive weird knickknacks. And unfortunately there is just no polite way to ask for cash or gift cards. The one way around it is to register for a few things (or a honeymoon registry) and then let your parents spread the word that you''re saving for a home, etc. But you can''t really mention it or else it is tacky...

Also the closer the people are to you the more likely you are to get cash IMO. If you have a huge wedding with 200 not so close people, they likely will look for registries. But if they are close relatives, many will give you cash anyway in my experience...
 
Have a favority charity?
What some friends of mine did was collect clothes for a homeless shelter at the shower and wedding.
 
We were the same, we each had our own houses and then moved in together and essentially combined 2 lots of stuff, plus buying new furniture along the way. We put little cards in the invitiations that if people wanted to, to purchase gift vouchers to a massive hardware store near where we live. That would enable us to buy wood for our future timber decks in the back yard, timber blinds for the house, tools for DF etc. Plus I like the fact that it''s easy and accessible for everyone.
 
thanks everyone. just to clear up a little we want wedding gifts, where we live everyone gives cash. its the shower and gifts that make me go ughh!! i just dont want to register for honestly a bunch of crap stuff i dont really need, its just not practical. Thank you guys for some of your understanding responses, for others well im going to say no comment. i still haven''t decided what im going to do but atleast i have some ideas to think about thanks
 
Hubby and I didn''t want to register either.......when we moved in together, we had duplicates of nearly everything and had to throw away/donate a bunch of stuff. THAT''s how much we didn''t need typical ''dowry'' items.

When people asked us, we were candid in saying we really didn''t need anything, so we didn''t want anyone to feel compelled. For those who wanted to do something anyway, we said:

*We''re going to buy a house within the next year, so we''d really be able to use Home Depot gift cards.
*Our photographer does gift certificates, and since wedding photos are so important to us, that would be something we''d really enjoy.
 
aldg: i loved your response thank you!! we have doubles of everything too!! we are not that well off that we dont need money but we just dont need more "stuff" i feel the same i rather get something i need like a photographer of something towards our "house". thanks
 
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