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Does this name change look weird?

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AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
Hey, fellow LIWs! I have a question about my future name change...

I want to keep my last name ,and I''ve been pondering how to do this while putting my bf''s name in there

Would it be weird if I took his last name as my middle name, as opposed to putting my current last name as the middle name and taking his?

Here are the options I am considering:

No Change: AllieGator Middlename Lastname. Cons: His name is not in there

Hyphenation: Alliegator Middlename Lastname-BFLastname Cons: It will be a mouthful

His Last Name as middle; Alliegator Hislastname Lastname. Cons: Uncommon

Is it weird to do this? I know its not common, but is it just downright strange? Thanks!
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
I guess my question is "What is the point?" the middle name is hardly ever used...so personally if it were me and those were the choices I''d skip it and keep my name.

But I don''t think it''s strange, just a PITA for something that won''t be used.
 

misskitty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
1,691
Hard to tell without knowing what the names are (not that I''d expect you to tell us all your names, but getting a feel for the sound is a bit hard).
Have you thought about
AllieGator Lastname Hislastname ? I think I''m going to drop my middle name and use my maiden name as a "new" middle name so I can hang onto it without hyphenating.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
It is only strange if you think it is.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

I know women have reasons for wanting to keep their names, I mean, Julia Gulia would be a HORRIBLE new married name. Would your BF be offended if you didn't take his? I know my DH would be... but I had no real attachment to my name as I was adopted at a young age and already had experienced that a name change, well, didn't really change anything. All it did for me was unite our family... and that was a good thing. (From the outside looking in.)

Best wishes!
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
He has told me he doesn''t care about me keeping my last name, but he would like it if his name were somewhere in my name.

I want to keep my last name, because it''s very rare and I love it. The children will have his last name, no hyphenation or anything.

Our names don''t really work together--mine is very german, and his is very jewish-russian. They sound funny together, and it''s a mouthful.

Thanks for the advice, everyone!
 

Dreamgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,070
I''ve never heard of this before but that''s not to say it hasn''t been done. I guess it''s kinda weird (since your asking.) I''d rather go with "Alliegator Middlename Lastname-BFLastname" since you don''t want to really take his name over keeping yours...
 

CrookedRock

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
1,738
This is an interesting subject in our house. I''m all for getting rid of my last name, I''m not even keeping it as a middle. (Not that my last name is bad, but that side of my family isn''t in my life so there''s no signifigance)
My Fi''s sis was married 2 years ago and never changed her name. I asked her husband if it bothered him and he said not at all. She did say though that if they decide to have children she will change her name. Have you thought down the road to that? I guess it could be confusing for kids if their parents had different last names...
 

Definitely. Maybe

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Messages
582
My first thought was to just keep your name as is if you want to keep your last name. Kind of like neatfreak said.

However, since he wants his name to be part of yours I would make some kindof change. If you don''t care too much about your middle name then put his there.

I also know someone who''s legal name is her husbands, but she goes by her maiden name in business situations and... well actually most of the time. Since your children will be taking his name anyways couldn''t you just do something like that?

Just go with whatever you are comfortable with. In the end, I personally don''t think it matters too much.
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
Date: 2/19/2009 11:33:51 AM
Author: CrookedRock
This is an interesting subject in our house. I''m all for getting rid of my last name, I''m not even keeping it as a middle. (Not that my last name is bad, but that side of my family isn''t in my life so there''s no signifigance)

My Fi''s sis was married 2 years ago and never changed her name. I asked her husband if it bothered him and he said not at all. She did say though that if they decide to have children she will change her name. Have you thought down the road to that? I guess it could be confusing for kids if their parents had different last names...
I have thought about my name not matching my future children''s name...but I figure while they''re still young enough that i fill out their information for the teacher, I''ll write the whole thing (Alligator Hislastname Lastname), and when they are older they will know to put that as well.

I figure, with so many divorced parents, me having a different last name shouldn''t cause too much confusion...

I really don''t care about my middle name... I''m not fond the name. It is the name of my aunt, but I''m not close to her at all, (my mother isn''t really, anymore), and I don''t think she would be insulted if I changed it when I marry...I know her daughter dropped her middle name , which was my mother''s, and my mother didn''t care.

Thanks for the points to ponder, everyone!

ps, Dreamgirl...I love that Coldplay song that you reference in your signature!
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
My bf asked me if I would take his name back when we first talked about getting married. He''s horribly old-fashioned that way, and even though we won''t have children together, he would like his wife known as Mrs. Hislastname, and not Mrs. Herexhusbandslastname. ;-)
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
3,998
One of my mentors in grad did option C - her husband's last name was her middle name. If you live in a state where the name change is easy (in my state, IL, they asked "And what do you want on your DL?" I could have said darned near anything), I think the Yourname Hislastname Yourlastname is a cool way keep your last name but still incorporate his.

Re: Using middle names - I kindof disagree. Every time I write my signature or fill out a form with a middle initial, I'm reminded of my old last name (I took my maiden as my middle). It feels a lot more "right" than my old middle name ever did. Also, I'm in a field where a lot of people use their full names on things like e-mail, published texts, etc, so I see my full name pretty often. The aforementioned grad school mentor used her full name for everything.

Bottom line with the name change - do the change that feels right to you. Who cares how common something is if it's what makes you happy?
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Given all the information (your preferences + his), I would personally go for Alliegator Hislastname Maidenlastname. Just make sure you are aware of the name-change laws and processes in your state, because in some places this may be a ROYAL pain (additional fees which can be HUGE, court appearances, etc.).

Not sure whether this would impact your decision or not because, in the end, it''s worth it if it''s what you really want.
 

tarepanda

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
28
I am personally a fan of middle names, so maybe taking his as a middle name? I''ve thought about this one a lot, actually, as I''m half Japanese (with a Japanese last name) and since part of what I do (intellectual property attorney) revolves around my ability to deal with Japanese clients, I would want to keep my name professionally, at least while I am still doing this job! My own cultural ties to that name (and what it means to Japanese clients) was a big driving factor for me in wanting to keep it professionally.

So SO and I have talked about this a bunch, and I think we''ll go with Tarepanda MiddleName LastName HisLastName personally, and Tarepanda MiddleName LastName professionally - which is long, definitely, but SO actually loves my current middle name now too, so we''ll just throw them all in!
 

Octavia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
2,660
This is interesting! I never really thought about taking my FI's name as a middle, but I think it sounds like a great idea. My FI does want me to take his name and I want to keep mine, but this might be something he'd go for. And I kind of like the idea of having two middle initials (I use my middle initial whenever I sign my name, and use my three initials in place of my name most of the time). Plus, it would be equally easy (or bureaucratically annoying) him to take my last as his middle/second middle, too! Honestly, I don't care about court fees and such if it makes us happy, so it's definitely something I'll be looking into. Thanks for bringing it up, AllieGator!
 

babygirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
120
I think I''d maybe hyphenate or use his last name as your middle name. I always think hyphenated names are a mouthful too, but I''m also not particularly sensitive about the whole name change thing in general. ...so my opinion is probably not the best or the most reliable!:)

As kind of an aside, I really love when women use their maiden name for a child''s middle name. That might be another way for your maiden name to live on :)
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
Date: 2/19/2009 11:07:28 PM
Author: babygirl

As kind of an aside, I really love when women use their maiden name for a child''s middle name. That might be another way for your maiden name to live on :)
I''ve always liked that idea, too, but I think that works well with WASP type names...mine, unfortunately, is an eastern german name with polish influence, so it''s not exactly cut out for that. But I do love it when other families do it!

I went on a bit of a reconnaissance mission yesterday. I called the city clerk where I live, and apparently I can do the his-last-name-as-middle as part of my wedding certificate. I wouldn''t even have to go to court to change it, so it''ll be really easy.
 
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