Does the whole waiting to get engaged/ring process just make you want to give up?

[josmar0623]

Hi all,

I''ve written before about feeling crazy while waiting to get engaged on this post

Well now I just feel frustration. I thought the thing I''d have to worry about was turning into a bridezilla. I never thought waiting to get engaged could bring out so many different emotions like excitement, depression, frustration, anger, etc. I''ve been pretty involved with the ring process but, then got to the point where it was driving me crazy and making me feel like a control freak so I told my bf to just decide for himself. Well, he did and ended up getting and paying for a ring that we both ended up not liking. So now we were stuck with a ring and most of his money was tied up in that ring. My bf asked that I be involved with the ring process before all his money is drained.

So, we finally found a place that would sell the ring on consignment and purchased another ring from them. I knew the setting wasn''t going to be ready for another 3 weeks. It''s been about a week and two days and my bf tells me today that the ring is ready. I really didn''t want to know anymore ring details after we decided on the ring from the new jeweler. So I''m excited that the ring is ready early but, then bf says except we can''t get it until the other ring sells. So that''s another setback.

I don''t know we''ve just been through so much drama ever since we started looking at rings. For most of the ring searching process, I''ve just felt worried and anxious and it makes me sad because I wanted it to be a fun, happy, memorable time. It''s like every time I think everything''s okay, something seems to pop up to ruin the calmness.

I apologize for sounding like such a whiny baby. Sometimes I get to the point where I''m like I don''t even want a "nice" ring anymore or go through all the engagement hoopla. Then I worry is the wedding going to be 10x worse. If it is, do I even want a wedding?

I''m just having a hard time with this because I''m usually laid back and don''t get all emotional.

 

[TooPatient]

Except for the ring being purchased part, that post could have been written by me.

I have times when I feel like giving up. Like an engagement will never happen. Stuff keeps coming up and it keeps getting postponed. Frustrating. Upsetting. Enough to make me want to give up on the whole thing. Engagement. Marriage. Everything.

If just finding the right ring and making it through a couple of months without some major upset (dishwasher is broken, washing machine just had to be replaced, oven broke, Grandmother in hospital, Grandfather in hospital, Etc......), how are we ever going to manage planning and paying for a wedding?


I wish I had some advice. For now, all I can do is say that you aren''t alone.

 

[Gleam]

I thought the ring hunt was a little overwhelming, too. My fiance required I do my own due diligence, so I did. But when I saw "my" diamond, I knew it was mine and there was no hesitation. Is it a perfect stone? No. Is it more than suitable for us? Yes. I brought my fiance with me to the jeweler to see it, he paid for it, and that was that. And to be honest, I was really glad to get it over with! Being engaged is much more fun than the process of trying to get engaged, so don''t give up!

 

[josmar0623]

Thanks guys for all your reassurance. I think sometimes I just get caught up in the whole engagement idea and different things seem to make me put stuff in perspective. Like the other day I was watching Jim and Pam''s wedding on The Office. Pam was getting all upset that things weren''t going right for her wedding then her and Jim snuck off. I won''t say the rest in case someone''s waiting to watch it and I don''t want to ruin it for them. Basically, the message I got was that what was most important was Jim and Pam and their love for each other not the whole "wedding has to be perfect" idea. Lately, I''ve been watching the ending to that episode almost every night. It makes me happy for some reason.

I just like coming here to vent because everyone''s so understanding and really have been in my shoes. If I vented to other people that weren''t LIW, they''d thing I was being a brat, irrational or a drama queen.