Does the officiant have to be invited?

[cate]

Does the officiant have to be invited if it''s just a ceremony followed by a restaurant dinner for bride, groom, and their parents? The officiant is charging $100.

 

[KatyWI]

Yup. Unless he''s a close family friend/confidant/lifetime priest he will probably decline anyway. Mine did.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Nobody HAS to be invited, but if you or your parents have a relationship with them, it would be a nice gesture. But if it''s just the 6 of you going to dinner, I don''t think that necessarily counts as a reception that an officiant would expect an invite to.

 

[MagsyMay]

I''m interested in the responses to this, as I just asked the same question! Ours will likely be a complete stranger, judge or non-denominational reverend, probably found on the internet. I''d feel odd inviting he/she to stay the entire evening knowing no one...

Is your officiant someone you know?

 

[ts44]

Date: 10/25/2009 7:02:53 PM
Author:cate
Does the officiant have to be invited if it''s just a ceremony followed by a restaurant dinner for bride, groom, and their parents? The officiant is charging $100.

No, if the reception is a small immediate family-only gathering, the officiant is not invited. If the officiant has no connection to the bride and groom other than a monetary transaction, you don''t have to invite them either unless they are traveling a fair distance, because it''s only polite to offer them at least a dinner before they leave.

If you''re having a 300+ person blowout, the more the merrier!

If there are any attorneys in your family, one way to avoid the "what to do with the officiant" problem is to have the attorney temporarily granted judicial power for the day to perform the ceremony. I almost did this for my father but instead decided to ask an old family friend who is already a judge to officiate. If you just want an ordained officiant, anybody can be ordained through the Universal Life Church to perform a marriage ceremony.

 

[MagsyMay]

Date: 10/25/2009 11:36:36 PM
Author: ts44

Date: 10/25/2009 7:02:53 PM

Author:cate

Does the officiant have to be invited if it''s just a ceremony followed by a restaurant dinner for bride, groom, and their parents? The officiant is charging $100.

No, if the reception is a small immediate family-only gathering, the officiant is not invited. If the officiant has no connection to the bride and groom other than a monetary transaction, you don''t have to invite them either unless they are traveling a fair distance, because it''s only polite to offer them at least a dinner before they leave.


If you''re having a 300+ person blowout, the more the merrier!


If there are any attorneys in your family, one way to avoid the ''what to do with the officiant'' problem is to have the attorney temporarily granted judicial power for the day to perform the ceremony. I almost did this for my father but instead decided to ask an old family friend who is already a judge to officiate. If you just want an ordained officiant, anybody can be ordained through the Universal Life Church to perform a marriage ceremony.

Totally don''t mean to threadjack Cate! But Ts, can you explain how to get an attorney temporarily granted judicial power? Is that state-specific (or are you in UK or AUS?) Curious because FI and I met in law school, so we will have countless lawyer friends in attendance and haven''t figured out our officiant situation just yet! I''ve never heard of this, so just curious!!

OK, threadjack over!! Sorry!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I have a question, is it ok to invite verbally when we meet with him the thursday before the wedding if we have run out of invitations?

 

[ts44]

Date: 10/26/2009 10:26:26 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
I have a question, is it ok to invite verbally when we meet with him the thursday before the wedding if we have run out of invitations?

Smurfy I don''t know the nitty gritty of Emily Post but the old fallback for me has always been that if you do something with grace, humility, and the best interest of the person in question at heart, you never err.

MagsyMay: It''s called being created a deputy marriage commissioner: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deputy_marriage_commissioner
I would head down to your local courthouse and ask a few questions about it. It does vary state to state. May not even need to be an attorney!

 

[Kellybell]

I agree with ts44. My planner told us that unless the officiant is a close family friend or is someone that we had known throughout our lives, that we did not need to invite them. (She said it would be like inviting a stranger to your wedding.)