Does people staring at your bling make you uncomfortable? How do you handle it?

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Just happened to me yesterday. Went for a party with some acquaintances after years and, in honour of the occasion wore my best bling, which includes an expensive pendant. I met this old acquaintance there after years, and she directed her entire conversation with me towards my neck/chest. I got so uncomfortable I kept pulling at my neckline / putting my hair in front but she would. Not. Stop. Staring. I actually went to the bathroom to see whether I was inadvertently exposing myself, but no, so I’m forced to conclude it was the pendant.

I didn’t say anything to her, just drifted towards some other friends after making some polite conversation. But I’m wondering if this has happened to someone else and how you handled it

 

[kenny]

I just think of it as a compliment to KarlK and DiaGem.

What's worse, when someone stares at your bling or your boobs?

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

You DO know we'll need a picture of that pendant???


I'm sorry it made you feel uncomfortable, but the person seems to have good taste and little self control. She didn't say anything , if I read your article right. So it seems the necklace is so sparkly she couldn't turn her eyes away. A fellow PSer maybe?

I have (hangs head in shame) been the culprit once. My friend has exquisite pieces and when her Tiffany Victoria earrings were new I complimented her on them. Upon our next conversation (about a week later) she was standing in the sun and they just put on a light show. I was so distracted that she laughingly reprimanded me for staring at her earrings.... So when the sparkle is just so intense it attracts the eye.

(I would be no use at all at court... No conversation possible, just sparkle overload)

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Just happened to me yesterday. Went for a party with some acquaintances after years and, in honour of the occasion wore my best bling, which includes an expensive pendant. I met this old acquaintance there after years, and she directed her entire conversation with me towards my neck/chest. I got so uncomfortable I kept pulling at my neckline / putting my hair in front but she would. Not. Stop. Staring. I actually went to the bathroom to see whether I was inadvertently exposing myself, but no, so I’m forced to conclude it was the pendant.

I didn’t say anything to her, just drifted towards some other friends after making some polite conversation. But I’m wondering if this has happened to someone else and how you handled it

I promise if we ever get to meet I'll just straight out comment on all the lovelly bling so we can get that out of the way

 

[icy_jade]

But I’m wondering if this has happened to someone else and how you handled it

Offer to take off the item to let the other person see/try. I draw the line at earrings but necklace and rings are ok. Get it out of the way and then we continue the conversation. Depends on how well I know the other person of course. Anyway those who know me well also know is fine to ask me about my blings.

I also try to compliment others when I see and love their bling instead of stare lol.

 

[dk168]

I have yet to come across such a situation, as they would normally compliment or ask where I got the piece.

As for general staring, they tend to be kids/young children, and I look at them right in their eyes until they feel uncomfortable and look away.

DK

 

[missy]

I compare it to people staring (looking me up and down as if I don't see them doing that) at my body i.e. checking me out. I don't like it at all. It feels sort of catty and not in a good way. If someone says oh what a gorgeous ring that is different. But if someone covertly (but obviously to me) stares at my ring not saying a word it makes me uncomfortable. Just like when someone looks me up and down in a sneaky sort of way. Not cool. IMO. And I can always tell who those people are...not my people if you kwim.

If you say something like wow that is a gorgeous ring that is different. But if you just stare. Nope. It makes me uncomfortable.

 

[musicloveranthony]

Sounds like a compliment to me. I'm not sure why you'd wear something you don't want people looking at. I absolutely look at and admire (probably stare at) jewelry that I like.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I haven’t really run into this but it probably wouldn’t bother me. Most of my jewelry is modest in comparison to a lot of PS’ers so doesn’t draw a lot of attention.

The only thing someone commented on recently was my perfume, this guy at the park walked by me and told me I smelled good. Still got it

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I just think of it as a compliment to KarlK and DiaGem.

What's worse, when someone stares at your bling or your boobs?

I think it bothered me more because it was a pendant so, y’know, her eyes were at my chest. I don’t usually mind someone checking out my ears / wrists etc but the neck area feels weird :/

You DO know we'll need a picture of that pendant???


I'm sorry it made you feel uncomfortable, but the person seems to have good taste and little self control. She didn't say anything , if I read your article right. So it seems the necklace is so sparkly she couldn't turn her eyes away. A fellow PSer maybe?

I have (hangs head in shame) been the culprit once. My friend has exquisite pieces and when her Tiffany Victoria earrings were new I complimented her on them. Upon our next conversation (about a week later) she was standing in the sun and they just put on a light show. I was so distracted that she laughingly reprimanded me for staring at her earrings.... So when the sparkle is just so intense it attracts the eye.

(I would be no use at all at court... No conversation possible, just sparkle overload)

It was the VCA vintage Alhambra pave pendant

Im sure she didn’t mean anything by it, but it was just the general area of her gaze that made me uncomfortable! Normally I’d have made a joke but she isn’t close enough to me for that to fly. I wouldn’t have minded her checking out my earrings at all!

I promise if we ever get to meet I'll just straight out comment on all the lovelly bling so we can get that out of the way

You’re so very sweet Daisy! I think the issue also was her staring for a prolonged period at my chest, haha. Like it made me wonder what she was thinking because she didn’t say anything. If she would’ve just said “I like your pendant” it wouldn’t be awkward at all.

Offer to take off the item to let the other person see/try. I draw the line at earrings but necklace and rings are ok. Get it out of the way and then we continue the conversation. Depends on how well I know the other person of course. Anyway those who know me well also know is fine to ask me about my blings.

I also try to compliment others when I see and love their bling instead of stare lol.

I also prefer to compliment people instead of stare! I’m not comfortable letting someone try on my things unless they’re a close friend though, which she wasn’t.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I have yet to come across such a situation, as they would normally compliment or ask where I got the piece.

As for general staring, they tend to be kids/young children, and I look at them right in their eyes until they feel uncomfortable and look away.

DK

I tried looking her in the eye but I couldn’t make eye contact because she was looking straight down, haha. Normally I’ve only ever gotten compliments or questions, or quick glances, not blatant staring, which is why I was taken aback.

I compare it to people staring (looking me up and down as if I don't see them doing that) at my body i.e. checking me out. I don't like it at all. It feels sort of catty and not in a good way. If someone says oh what a gorgeous ring that is different. But if someone covertly (but obviously to me) stares at my ring not saying a word it makes me uncomfortable. Just like when someone looks me up and down in a sneaky sort of way. Not cool. IMO. And I can always tell who those people are...not my people if you kwim.

If you say something like wow that is a gorgeous ring that is different. But if you just stare. Nope. It makes me uncomfortable.

You get me exactly! I’ve no problem starting a conversation and actually don’t even mind if they stare at my ears or wrists. It’s even more awkward when they stare at my neck because it feels like they’re staring at the girls, iykwim.

Sounds like a compliment to me. I'm not sure why you'd wear something you don't want people looking at. I absolutely look at and admire (probably stare at) jewelry that I like.

I’m sure I should take it as a compliment, but it made me awkward because of the location and the length of time she stared. Like, a solid ten minutes, she’d make occasional eye contact and her eyes would slide straight down. As my SO said, she paid more attention to the girls yesterday than he did :p :s I obviously wanted people to notice and think my jewelry is lovely, maybe compliment it, but I didn’t expect anyone to spend so much time boring a hole into my chest with their eyes.

I haven’t really run into this but it probably wouldn’t bother me. Most of my jewelry is modest in comparison to a lot of PS’ers so doesn’t draw a lot of attention.

The only thing someone commented on recently was my perfume, this guy at the park walked by me and told me I smelled good. Still got it

Oooh, what’s the perfume? I’m always looking out for new perfumes

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I tried looking her in the eye but I couldn’t make eye contact because she was looking straight down, haha. Normally I’ve only ever gotten compliments or questions, or quick glances, not blatant staring, which is why I was taken aback.




You get me exactly! I’ve no problem starting a conversation and actually don’t even mind if they stare at my ears or wrists. It’s even more awkward when they stare at my neck because it feels like they’re staring at the girls, iykwim.




I’m sure I should take it as a compliment, but it made me awkward because of the location and the length of time she stared. Like, a solid ten minutes, she’d make occasional eye contact and her eyes would slide straight down. As my SO said, she paid more attention to the girls yesterday than he did :p :s I obviously wanted people to notice and think my jewelry is lovely, maybe compliment it, but I didn’t expect anyone to spend so much time boring a hole into my chest with their eyes.




Oooh, what’s the perfume? I’m always looking out for new perfumes

This one, very inexpensive but wonderful fragrance and it lasts all day for me:

https://www.amazon.com/Sensual-Geparlys-Perfume-Women-Parfum/dp/B00B4TW48C

 

[Arcadian]

I've gotten it but can't say I'm terribly bothered by it. I'll say something like "its pretty isn't it?" LOL may as well get it out of the way if they're staying that hard.

 

[Un_Petit_Rayon_de_Soleil]

I get a lot of attention to my chest because I am curvy. It used to make me very uncomfortable so I do not wear jewelry around my neck. I get so many people that talk to my chest versus looking into my eyes so I totally know your discomfort.

I have had a lot of stares at my rings and it only makes me uncomfortable in certain settings.

 

[Karl_K]

I have to force myself not to stare at bling.
Particularly in interesting lighting that is making them sparkle like mad.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

It was the VCA vintage Alhambra pave pendant

Drool I can only imagine the light show that one puts out !!!

 

[Bonfire]

Any type of adornment, especially of the blingy variety, will attract attention. If I‘m going to be in a public space where I don’t want this attention I will keep that in mind and alter what I wear. As a card carrying bling enthusiast, I’m probably guilty of staring (possibility drooling) at other‘s bling

 

[jaysonsmom]

Yes, I would feel very uncomfortable, and would probably just call them out on it. I'd say "I noticed you staring at my necklace, don't you just love how mesmerizing this piece is? I got it....blah blah blah" so that they know that YOU know they are staring!

 

[doberman]

I got so used to people looking at me when I was younger that I barely notice if they do, even now. But I have had people remark on my jewelry, and they're usually very complimentary.

 

[sarahb]

I always share the item with the person looking/commenting on it. We have fun discussing it etc. It's usually my 3ct N AVC ring, as it is unusual looking. Otherwise, I just ignore/don't notice anything else.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I've gotten it but can't say I'm terribly bothered by it. I'll say something like "its pretty isn't it?" LOL may as well get it out of the way if they're staying that hard.

I guess in that moment I didn’t want to acknowledge her staring because I felt like if I said something she might deny staring and I’d feel more awkward…

I get a lot of attention to my chest because I am curvy. It used to make me very uncomfortable so I do not wear jewelry around my neck. I get so many people that talk to my chest versus looking into my eyes so I totally know your discomfort.

I have had a lot of stares at my rings and it only makes me uncomfortable in certain settings.

We’re in similar boats because I too have a large bust (compared to my other measurements anyway) and I’ve experienced a lot of people needing “my eyes are up here” reminders. It was just unexpected in that context because I know she wasn’t doing it out of sexual interest, but it made me uncomfortable nonetheless.

I have to force myself not to stare at bling.
Particularly in interesting lighting that is making them sparkle like mad.

I think a glance or two is okay, or if you comment on it it’s all good. It’s the silent and prolonged staring that gets weird. Especially for a pendant. I would be flattered for earrings/ring!

Any type of adornment, especially of the blingy variety, will attract attention. If I‘m going to be in a public space where I don’t want this attention I will keep that in mind and alter what I wear. As a card carrying bling enthusiast, I’m probably guilty of staring (possibility drooling) at other‘s bling

Fair and valid point! I don’t mind attention - I think most people who wear bling like it to some extent. And I often catch myself staring and checking out others’ bling. But I try not to stare at pendants or necklaces and I usually comment on it so the other knows what I’m looking at.

Yes, I would feel very uncomfortable, and would probably just call them out on it. I'd say "I noticed you staring at my necklace, don't you just love how mesmerizing this piece is? I got it....blah blah blah" so that they know that YOU know they are staring!

I didn’t want to do that because I didn’t want her to be like “no I wasn’t staring” and make me feel like a creep or drama queen. Much safer to not engage I thought.

I got so used to people looking at me when I was younger that I barely notice if they do, even now. But I have had people remark on my jewelry, and they're usually very complimentary.

Remarking is great! It’s the silent stating that gets to me. Being stared at where I go is a fairly new phenomenon for me anyway so it makes me 10x more uncomfortable than it would someone who is used to it I think.

I always share the item with the person looking/commenting on it. We have fun discussing it etc. It's usually my 3ct N AVC ring, as it is unusual looking. Otherwise, I just ignore/don't notice anything else.

I would have totally shared details etc if she had asked, but because she didn’t, I judged it safer to just ignore. Not sure if it was the right move.

 

[Karl_K]

I think a glance or two is okay, or if you comment on it it’s all good. It’s the silent and prolonged staring that gets weird. Especially for a pendant. I would be flattered for earrings/ring!

In person im to shy to comment so I just try not to look other than a quick glance.
Especially at a pendant.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I tried looking her in the eye but I couldn’t make eye contact because she was looking straight down, haha. Normally I’ve only ever gotten compliments or questions, or quick glances, not blatant staring, which is why I was taken aback.




You get me exactly! I’ve no problem starting a conversation and actually don’t even mind if they stare at my ears or wrists. It’s even more awkward when they stare at my neck because it feels like they’re staring at the girls, iykwim.




I’m sure I should take it as a compliment, but it made me awkward because of the location and the length of time she stared. Like, a solid ten minutes, she’d make occasional eye contact and her eyes would slide straight down. As my SO said, she paid more attention to the girls yesterday than he did :p :s I obviously wanted people to notice and think my jewelry is lovely, maybe compliment it, but I didn’t expect anyone to spend so much time boring a hole into my chest with their eyes.




Oooh, what’s the perfume? I’m always looking out for new perfumes

Well it wasn't any of us from PS - we would have definatly spoken up rather than rude starring

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

The older I get, the more apt I am to say something. I want that person to tell me about it. Some just say "Thank you," and you know that's it.
The most gracious person I know took off her ring and handed me her 2ct. plus EC when I admired it. She said, "And it came with a really nice guy." And then she told me how she selected it. Makes me happy to recall that afternoon.

 

[lambskin]

Well at least she is an ’old acquaintance’ with whom you have not seen in a long while and probably won’t see again in the near future. Maybe she wanted to ask you about it but, since you are not close, it may have been awkward for her to ask and you to respond.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

In person im to shy to comment so I just try not to look other than a quick glance.
Especially at a pendant.

Oh I’m sure you wouldn’t stare like that! Sorry if my comment came off that way.

The older I get, the more apt I am to say something. I want that person to tell me about it. Some just say "Thank you," and you know that's it.
The most gracious person I know took off her ring and handed me her 2ct. plus EC when I admired it. She said, "And it came with a really nice guy." And then she told me how she selected it. Makes me happy to recall that afternoon.

I usually don’t share info unless asked because I feel like it comes off kinda braggy. So if someone says “lovely pendant” I would also just say thank you! Not opposed to going into detail, but only if they ask follow up Qs etc.

Well at least she is an ’old acquaintance’ with whom you have not seen in a long while and probably won’t see again in the near future. Maybe she wanted to ask you about it but, since you are not close, it may have been awkward for her to ask and you to respond.

Well she has invited me for her wedding so I guess I’ll see her there next, but I probably will not wear this pendant there it’s rather common in India to invite every person you know. After that party where I met a bunch of people I used to know but haven’t seen in years I came home with three wedding invites, from people who even took my address down so they could send me a proper invitation. But the point you make is a good one - perhaps she simply felt awkward asking me and thought staring was a good way to suss things out?

 

[Karl_K]

Oh I’m sure you wouldn’t stare like that! Sorry if my comment came off that way.

It didn't... alls kewl

 

[LilAlex]

You: "Um, my eyes are up here!"

Her: "I've made my choice."

[Simpsons classic]

"And it came with a really nice guy."

This is perfect! And it reminds me of a late relative's re-telling of the famous Klopman Diamond joke (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klopman_diamond)

 

[Bron357]

I had an experience just today, at the hair dressers. Chatting politely to a lady who, as it turns out, lives up the street from me and has seen me out and about with my dogs, was staring at my left hand. I thought she was trying to see what the time was, wearing my watch on my left wrist, so I looked and said “oh, it’s nearly 2 o’clock” and she looks at me like I’m talking crazy to myself.
Der…. it was my ring is was checking out.
She didn’t say anything about it so I didn’t say anything about it but I was then very conscious that she was trying to get a good look at it.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

You: "Um, my eyes are up here!"

Her: "I've made my choice."

[Simpsons classic]



This is perfect! And it reminds me of a late relative's re-telling of the famous Klopman Diamond joke (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klopman_diamond)

She sure committed to the bit

I haven’t heard that joke before, but that’s hilarious

I had an experience just today, at the hair dressers. Chatting politely to a lady who, as it turns out, lives up the street from me and has seen me out and about with my dogs, was staring at my left hand. I thought she was trying to see what the time was, wearing my watch on my left wrist, so I looked and said “oh, it’s nearly 2 o’clock” and she looks at me like I’m talking crazy to myself.
Der…. it was my ring is was checking out.
She didn’t say anything about it so I didn’t say anything about it but I was then very conscious that she was trying to get a good look at it.

omg I would have totally done that as well! I would never imagine that someone was trying to stare at my ring and would’ve totally imagined that they were looking at the time as well. Can imagine that it was kind of awkward for you but also super relatable!