Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it inside?

[missy]

I know people vary (thanks Kenny) and what works for some doesn't work for others. Reading a thread here this morning made me start thinking about this very issue. Does venting and sharing here help you? Does it make you feel better or are you a person who does better not sharing your woes and keeping them more private.

For me, sharing my issues helps me feel as I have a little bit of weight lifted from my shoulders. Of course it doesn't solve them but it does make me feel a little bit better and every little bit helps IMO. I am a very open person and find comfort in sharing with others. You know that saying "A sorrow shared is half a sorrow, a joy shared is twice a joy." This is how it makes me feel.

How about you?

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I find it helps to share. I'm an open book anyways but if something is bothering me and I share that, I get over it faster.

 

[missy]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I find it helps to share. I'm an open book anyways but if something is bothering me and I share that, I get over it faster.

Yes same here and Stephanie I meant to respond to one of your threads and will see if I can find it but will add my support of you here and sending gentle (((HUGS))) your way. I hope your health issue is resolved very soon and am keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[CJ2008]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

It helps me to share.

Most of the time.

Sometimes I have to process something to a point that I can understand what exactly is bothering me before I will share.

Besides, I like sharing. It's a way to bond with other people for me. I don't share with just anybody though - there is only one, maybe two people in my life other than DH that I share things with. The more intimate/personal the problem is though the less likely I am to share it unless I really need help.

 

[missy]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

CJ, sometimes it helps me to process what is bothering me by sharing. That is, sometimes, I am unsure how I feel about something and by sharing it and hearing others thoughts on the issue it helps me process my feelings about said issue. It provides a clearer viewpoint and a more objective one vs being right in the middle of an issue as it is happening. Does that makes sense?

 

[CJ2008]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

CJ, sometimes it helps me to process what is bothering me by sharing. That is, sometimes, I am unsure how I feel about something and by sharing it and hearing others thoughts on the issue it helps me process my feelings about said issue. It provides a clearer viewpoint and a more objective one vs being right in the middle of an issue as it is happening. Does that makes sense?

OMG 100% yes.

Sometimes when this is done with a MAN it derails though unless you've TAUGHT him to let you talk it out rather than offer solutions the minute I take a breath.

But yes - 100% - if I trust you and what I am processing doesn't feel too threatening to share, then many times I will figure out what I feel by talking it out.

 

[Queenie60]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

Yes - I prefer to share. When I am having issues with my son or anything else; I always pick up the phone and call one of my very close friends. It helps to discuss the situation and vent - I refer to it as "free therapy" - my husband doesn't understand this as men tend to hold their problems close to their chest. I also love to share my joys with these few friends. And, I certainly lend an ear when they're in need. I feel that venting and sharing is a healthy way to go through life. Great thread Missy.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I find it helps to share. I'm an open book anyways but if something is bothering me and I share that, I get over it faster.

Yes same here and Stephanie I meant to respond to one of your threads and will see if I can find it but will add my support of you here and sending gentle (((HUGS))) your way. I hope your health issue is resolved very soon and am keeping you in my thoughts.

Thanks Missy! Even though I'm a newbie you are one of my fave PS'ers partly because I find your posts so thought provoking.

 

[kenny]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

It depends what the problem is and whom I have to talk to.

 

[WeeOui]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

It helps me to share. Sometimes just sharing a problem ends up being a solution. I tend to fixate if I bottle things up inside, and that can lead to making monsters out of minions. Better to exorcise the demons.

 

[missy]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I find it helps to share. I'm an open book anyways but if something is bothering me and I share that, I get over it faster.

Yes same here and Stephanie I meant to respond to one of your threads and will see if I can find it but will add my support of you here and sending gentle (((HUGS))) your way. I hope your health issue is resolved very soon and am keeping you in my thoughts.

Thanks Missy! Even though I'm a newbie you are one of my fave PS'ers partly because I find your posts so thought provoking.

Aww thank you Stephanie! You are a sweetheart and very kind.

Yes - I prefer to share. When I am having issues with my son or anything else; I always pick up the phone and call one of my very close friends. It helps to discuss the situation and vent - I refer to it as "free therapy" - my husband doesn't understand this as men tend to hold their problems close to their chest. I also love to share my joys with these few friends. And, I certainly lend an ear when they're in need. I feel that venting and sharing is a healthy way to go through life. Great thread Missy.

Thanks Queenie. I am definitely the same way. And I give as good as I get LOL. My friends are always coming to me to help with their dilemmas and problems because they feel I am a good listener and problem solver and I am honored and humbled they feel that way and that I can help them. I find it incredibly satisfying to help others. In fact it is way more satisfying to me to help others than to ask for help but unfortunately in the last 3 years or so I have been needing a lot of support. But so thankful I have good friends who are there for me as well as my fellow PSers who are such a warm and generous group of people. I am glad you have your good friends with whom you can share and work through issues. It makes all the difference. I hope things are improving with the situation with your son. (((Hugs))).

It depends what the problem is and whom I have to talk to.

Kenny, that's true. Sometimes I find it easier to talk about things on PS than to people in my real life if that makes sense. When I vent here it feels safer at times and I also feel like I might be getting a more objective opinion here vs from some closer friends IRL.

It helps me to share. Sometimes just sharing a problem ends up being a solution. I tend to fixate if I bottle things up inside, and that can lead to making monsters out of minions. Better to exorcise the demons.

I agree completely WeeOui. And welcome to PS! As I wrote above PS is a good place to help you do some of that. Exorcise those demons.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I voted "it depends." Sometimes I can ruminate on a problem and come to a solution on my own more easily and with less drama than spending a lot of time talking it over with someone. And other times I'm more interested in talking and analyzing a situation and I don't really care about the solution. Then there are other times I just don't want to give a problem any more valuable time and I put it on the back burner until I feel like dealing with it. Usually that happens when I already know the solution but don't want to do the work related to it. I'm more of a fiercely independent type of person who doesn't like asking for help, but I do know when it's healthier to talk things out. I have certain friends who are good listeners, other friends who just want to commiserate, family who always has my back but can be too biased with some situations, and of course my husband who I go to for solutions when I can't see the answer clearly myself. So yeah, it depends!

 

[Ally T]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I also voted 'it depends'. I am generally quite vocal & I find that by chatting, I can usually process & reason my issue. I like to collect lots of constructive opinions before I make a decision. Obviously there are exceptions, such as my current situation. I feel this one is intensely private & I don't want to be judged by people who are not aware of my medical circumstances. And I am afraid. In 'real life' I never show fear & I always find a bright side. With this problem, it's the opposite: fear & no bright side. Miserable I know, but there it is. This forum has been AMAZING support

 

[marcy]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I think it helps me if I share my problems with someone but I often hesitate to do so. I keep things inside more than I should.

 

[missy]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I also voted 'it depends'. I am generally quite vocal & I find that by chatting, I can usually process & reason my issue. I like to collect lots of constructive opinions before I make a decision. Obviously there are exceptions, such as my current situation. I feel this one is intensely private & I don't want to be judged by people who are not aware of my medical circumstances. And I am afraid. In 'real life' I never show fear & I always find a bright side. With this problem, it's the opposite: fear & no bright side. Miserable I know, but there it is. This forum has been AMAZING support

Alex, I am so sorry you are going through this and I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending bucket loads of PS ***DUST*** your way for as smooth a procedure and recovery as possible. (((HUGS))).

I think it helps me if I share my problems with someone but I often hesitate to do so. I keep things inside more than I should.

Marcy I feel so fortunate I can share my inner thoughts with you and have your love and support and you know I am always here for you. (((HUGS))).

 

[MarionC]

Re: Does it help you to share problems or do you keep it ins

I like sharing & hearing too - we all have problems, but if we keep ours inside we are not sharing the humanity of it all.
What a relief to share something and get of off your chest, or hear the troubles of a friend and have the opportunity to help.

This video was on facebook this morning from the Cleveland clinic on empathy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8