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Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inherit?

SB621

SB621

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
7,864
My DH and I were talking last night about what pieces I would like to finish my collection off. He was very surprized that I didn't want studs and jackets as they seem to be a very classic staples for most women. I simplied replied that I knew his mother would be passing her set on to me with a couple of other items so I didn't feel the need to buy my own. Now granted it could be 30+ years till they become mine and I truely hope that is the case as I love my MIL more then my own mother. Anyhow he thought this was kind of weird, but his mom has been very outspoken that my daughter an I would inherit her small collection and keep it to pass on.

Does anyone else think this is weird? I just don't see the point in buying something when it will be given later on down the road....AND it will mean SO MUCH more to be because they were hers. My MIL has been such a positive influence on me. She has made me a better wife and mother and I love her very much. Even if I did buy the exact same pieces I probably wouldn't wear them anymore as I would just wear hers to remind me of her.

Am I alone with this thought process? To say my DH doesn't understand is an understatement. :?
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

If you see jewelry as a collection, then your approach makes sense. Your collection will eventually be finished and that is fine.

However, I am with your DH. The point of jewelry is to wear it and enjoy it. It doesn't make much sense to me to wait several decades (fortunately!) for a piece, if it could be afforded, since I wouldn't be able to use something I would enjoy. If I, then, inherit a another pair, I might sell the first and enjoy the more emotional piece.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I think you're very practical and loving, Sarahbears. Not to mention not an instant-gratification nut. I wish I had your mil's email address so I could send her your praise -- you're a lucky girl & so is she.

We do this in varying areas. There isn't great jewelry in my family, but they did have gorgeous silver, china, & cut glass. My mother promised me her silver & good china, so I didn't buy any myself. For the same reasons you stated. Did without dressy dinner stuff till she died (too young!) when I was in my 40s.

When your receive those things you'll find them a great comfort & connection to somebody you adore, as I did. I'd happily give them all back, though, to have her here instead.

--- Laurie
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I see no point in buying if you are to inherit soon. But decades later? Nah, I would buy in this case. And enjoy wearing it all, now. After all, none of us can guarantee that we ourselves will live even one more day on this earth.

I will inherit a lot of jewellery from my mother. Kilos of yellow gold (literally) jewellery, but also lots of rubies, turquoise, sapphires and a few diamonds. But I hope my mother lives for many more decades, so I'm buying my own stuff now.

If I ever have a daughter, she is in for a major windfall. :D
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I guess I should say that the pieces I will inherit from my MIL are lovely but not exactly high on my radar. I wanted for example a big cushion so I got my own. So I guess I can see this working both ways.

And Rosette I would love to play in your or your mother's jeweler box!!! I love colored stones!

And thank you Jewelfreak for the kind words. I'm not close with my family and never have been. My MIL really showed me much more love and affection that my own parents. She is a huge influence on my life. I hope one day I can be as great to my own DIL (but I have YEARS till that comes!).
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I was very aware that my mother wanted to pass down her jewelry to me as soon as I wanted it and she was basically holding my grandmother's jewelry for me while I was young/in school....so my experience might be somewhat different. (I have an older family also.)
I really never wanted to buy peices that were replicating family items. I will say I have loved having the family peices, but for me, having multiple engagement type rings is redundant.
And I sort of wonder what my daughter will think of it all.
I did wear/borrow some items before I officially took custody, and that was sort of fun. In fact that was the time I enjoyed the family peices most, when multiple generations were around to see & share.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Seems like a long time to wait for studs...but maybe having studs isn't high on your priority list.

I was given all my mom's jewelry and I only wear a couple of the pieces. Her diamond was made into a pendant and I wear a pair of garnet studs all the time. She gave me other diamonds and many pieces with colored gem stones but all of those are in my safe deposit box. Most of the stones are too big or I'm not sure what to do with them, so no I wouldn't wait until someone passed to buy what I want because my style is rather basic and simple and completely opposit of what her style is (she is still alive, but gave me her pieces after she moved).
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Would not buy it if I know I was inheriting: I'd probably think that way. I am not in line to inherit any great jewelry, so that was never an issue. I bought my own. But I inherited china and sterling flatware, and knowing for certain exactly what I was inheriting and that it is some really awesome items that mortals can't even afford anymore, definitely made me not register for china or silver as wedding presents.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I'm with you, Sarah, but I can sort of see his point, too. My mom doesn't really have too many classic pieces, as such - we both love one of a kind things. But I know it'd be silly to get a Cartier tank similar to hers, or to get a thick rose gold curb chain choker that resembled hers, or to get a big emerald cabochon ring, even if I set it differently ... what on earth would I do with doubles? If I ever desperately want to wear them now, I'm sure she'd be glad to loan them to me ....

I do think it makes sense to kind of ... skip a generation when it comes to planned inheritances and long-term collections, though. I'm an instant-gratification gal, so I'd probably rather get what I like now, deliberately making it different enough to not be identical, and plan to pass mom's stuff down to my kids when the time comes ....
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I wish it was something that applied to me!
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

If it is 30+ years (hopefully!) I would probably buy what I would wear now (such as studs). Your daughter might be old enough to get your stuff (hopefully) by the time you inherit your MIL stuff. That way the stuff you bought isn't "wasted" when you inherit your MIL's items.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Jax172|1362680476|3399203 said:
If it is 30+ years (hopefully!) I would probably buy what I would wear now (such as studs). Your daughter might be old enough to get your stuff (hopefully) by the time you inherit your MIL stuff. That way the stuff you bought isn't "wasted" when you inherit your MIL's items.
Click to expand...

This makes sense. When the day happens, far in the future, wouldn't it be nice for your daughter to inherit, without losing you?
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

waiting potentially 30 years for studs when it seems like your husband is offering? :o

Perhaps I wouldn't get studs if I thought i might inherit, but I would like something Art Deco with colored stones for my ears.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I got 2 ct TW studs from DH one Christmas. My mom liked them so much she went out and bought 3 cttw studs. When she passed away 2 years ago I got the bigger studs and DD promptly put my old studs in her ears! Heirlooms all around. Now she will get the bigger ones eventually, also. BTW the studs she got are the ones I mentioned a few weeks ago as having a small crack in one, the jeweler thinks it can be buffed out. He louped it and it seems to be on the surface almost a deep scratch rather than crack.

BUT..... For years I knew I was getting a beautiful 36" double strand of pearls from my mom eventually, so I never bought any. Wearing them today as a matter of fact. But I didnt have to wait 30 years for them just about 20.
As for a staple (to me anyway) like studs I woiuld have gotten my own even if my mom had hers first.
I think if you have the patience to wait 30 years good for you. Any chance of borrowing them occasionally in the meantime?
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I have borrowed a few of her pieces in the past. She perfers more modern yellow gold while I'm more art deco-y. Plus I puffy heart love rings while she is more earrings and bracelets so we have a diverse taste- though she definitely has classic pieces which I do appreciate. Really the person making out with all of this will be my daughter as she will inherit everything so she will get her pick of the litter.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

It depends. If it's the classic pieces are something that you have to have or a staple in your wardrobe, then I wouldn't buy them. But you wanted some and are just thinking ahead of the possible dupe in the future, then I would get them and enjoy them.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I'm a colored stone gal at heart, but add to that, yes I do know I have quite a serious diamond headed my direction some day, and I have no desire to find myself a diamond in the meantime because of that.

It's my MIL who has the serious jewelry collection, but I do know some of the pieces have been earmarked for me, in addition to the diamond, there's a pretty serious ruby, that I could never hope to replicate, so I will just wait. She's wonderful about letting me borrow, if occasion calls for it, too. :D
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

No, I want what I want when I want it lol. (finances allowing that is :cheeky: )

Plus, my mom will be leaving jewelry to both me and my sister so not sure what I might be getting and what she might be getting though I do know she is getting my mom's ER which is fine with me because my mom gave me her Cartier black opal a number of years ago.
We don't talk about who is getting what and as others have expressed here I want her to be around for a very long time and hopefully she will so I would be very old when the time to inherit anything rolls around so no point in waiting if I want something. All I can say is my nieces are going to be very blingy young ladies because they will be inheriting all my jewelry and all my mom's jewelry eventually!!!

Sarah, you and your MIL are very fortunate that you have such a wonderful and special relationship!
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

If you're content to wait a potentially very long time, then to me it sounds like you don't desire studs all that much. So I probably wouldn't buy them and would wait to inherit MIL's one day. That's very sweet she's leaving them to you.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Sadly my mother passed 12 years ago at the age of 62. She left my two sisters and i magnificant jewelry. Her diamond studs 3.66 H color VVS1 were in herited by my sister. I got her engagement ring and many other pieces. When my husband and I were married 25 years last year I took several of her pieces and sold them to purchase studs. the pieces I sold sat in the vault for 25 years and than another 10 since I got them. I bought 2.05 studs this past year my dad gave my sisters and I the remaining jewelry. I gave each of my daughters pieces and I sold the rest and updated my studs to 2.41 where they will stay and be in herited by my kids.

I still have her engagment ring and several other gorgous pieces my engagement ring and the jewelry my husband has given me to pass on. So I wear her in my ears every day. I am sure she would be thrilled that her jewelry is being worn and not in the vault
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I've been wanting a larger stone and eyeing larger OECs on the pre-owned boards, but I've held back because I know I'll be getting my mother's 2-ct diamond and I don't think she would understand my buying something so similar - especially since she has had several serious health scares in the past year or two. She already half thinks of her ring as mine - she had it re-set a few years ago into a setting that she thinks would make a good right-hand ring - not that she consulted with me, of course.

Sarah - if you want studs that you can wear now, would a nice pair of quality simulants be a possibility?
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

My mom and I have fairly different tastes in jewelry and she's only 18 years older than me, so I could be an old lady myself when she dies. :lol:
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I buy the jewelry I want because I know I WON'T inherit. My mother only has her mother's wedding set, which she has indicated will some day be mine. The diamond fell out of it last year... she was heartbroken since it was so sentimental and the only piece of real jewelry she has. I scoured Ebay and was able to find a similar size and age diamond to replace the lost one with. I had the head replaced and the new stone looks great. She couldn't be more pleased. So now this ring has a little piece of all of us as it's passed down.

I bought myself 1cttw studs about 6.5 years ago. I wear them 24/7. I got a five stone ring about 18 months ago. I told DH I wanted one for at least two years before I bought it. He basically brushed me off, so I saved the money and bought one when I found a amazing deal on DB! I will not be denied the pieces I truly want!
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Sarah, if you don't care about studs, then it doesn't make sense to buy them. But if you like diamond studs, I agree with the others who said get your own pair soon and in 30 years when you inherit your MIL's, then yours can go to your daughter (or whichever pair is smaller). Circe also said what I think is true in my case. I hope my girls are about 50+ before I go! So if they have their jewelry collections complete, they can always hand down my things to their daughters, or keep my items and hand down their less expensive or smaller things to their daughters. Of course, I am buying some things that will be specifically left to granddaughters, also. Every piece I buy at this point is a future heirloom and I try to stay very classic in style for that reason. I just got a couple of diamond items from my mother when she had to go to a nursing home because I also have two sisters. So that is one reason I do want to have a nice jewelry collection to hand down.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

I've never thought of it this way. I will inherit several PS-worthy things within the next 5-10 years (more than likely), which makes me sad when I think about it now. I have never NOT bought jewelry or anything else "important" because I knew I'd inherit. I can understand why one would put off purchases knowing that they would be receiving something they really wanted, though. No judgment here.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

VRBeauty|1362711722|3399664 said:
I've been wanting a larger stone and eyeing larger OECs on the pre-owned boards, but I've held back because I know I'll be getting my mother's 2-ct diamond and I don't think she would understand my buying something so similar - especially since she has had several serious health scares in the past year or two. She already half thinks of her ring as mine - she had it re-set a few years ago into a setting that she thinks would make a good right-hand ring - not that she consulted with me, of course.

Sarah - if you want studs that you can wear now, would a nice pair of quality simulants be a possibility?
Click to expand...


I feel like this thread kind of went off on it's own. Nope I really don't have any interest in studs/ jackets at all. So this is not a thread saying what should I do IYKWIM. It is more of does anyone else out there not feel the need to purchase a particular jewelry item because you know you will inherit it. I don't want studs, I dont' need studs, i have no interest in owning studs because I know that eventually one day I will have them. Told you I was an odd duck! :))
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Not sure what my sis and I will inherit in the future, so DH has been gracious enough to get me fabulous pieces that I can wear now and eventually pass down in the family.
 
Re: Does anyone not buy jeweler b/c you know you will inheri

Actually, I buy because I know what I'll inherit. There just aren't really any heirloom-quality pieces in my family, on either side. So, I've made it my mission to (single-handedly) change that :)
 
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