LiW Do your FF''s know about this site???

[Dreamgirl]

My boyfriend doesn''t know. I just joined 2 weeks ago but I love this place! I did however 2 weeks ago tell him I found a place online and I joined it. That was quite vague so he had no idea what I was talking about. haha.

Im kind of with absolut_blonde except for the fact that my boyfriend KNOWS Im fixated on the subject, Im just trying to no longer show that to him (I promised him I wouldn''t talk about engagement rings any longer.) I drive him crazy with it.

So, he would be happy to know I talk about it somewhere else. What do you think? Should I tell him? I know that I had mentioned on here before that I had thought about telling him. I guess it''s kind of nice to just discuss this stuff with other crazy girls like myself.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

SO does not know about this site (or if he does it is unbeknownst to me) and as far as I know he is unaware that I post here. I would like to keep it that way. This is my "safe zone". This is where I come to vent and rant and rave and read stories and sometimes help other ladies who are in the same boat I am in. I would never want to feel like I had to be careful of what I say because there is a chance my SO would see it.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

yep he knows about it. He jokes that he is going to have to set up and acount so he can see what I say about him on here.

haha. Not that I would mind though! I think it would be great for him to get on here to learn more about diamonds before making the big purchase. I''ll even admit on particularly bad LIW days, I head over to Rocky Talking hoping that one of the fellas asking for advice is him.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Date: 4/9/2008 11:43:50 AM
Author: equestrienne
He gets a bit worried when I look at the proposals and show him pictures, because he thinks I''ve already read all the ways to propose and he won''t be able to come up with anything good, but I''ve reassured him that our day will be special, no matter how he does it, because it is OUR day.

I think my BF felt the same way when i would talk to him about certain rings/proposals that I thought were particularly wonderful. Like he would never be able to live up to the things that I was reading. He mentioned something to me about it one time and I was shocked that he would think that! Then of course reassured him that although I enjoy hearing about the wonderful and sometimes extravagant proposals and looking at the 3 carat rings, I can''t wait to see what he does on his own that reflects "us". I don''t think he feels threatened by PS anymore and now views it as my "girly" site. haha

 

[sklingem]

Don''t feel too safe ladies ... BFs and FFs are lurking on a daily basis (including myself - and yes, I have even learned the secret abreviations!). Funny - MY GF does not know I am hanging out here. LOL

 

[honey22]

This should be a BF, SO, FF and any other boy related abbreviation-free area - LIWs only!!!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 4/9/2008 5:02:31 PM
Author: rob09
Don''t feel too safe ladies ... BFs and FFs are lurking on a daily basis (including myself - and yes, I have even learned the secret abreviations!). Funny - MY GF does not know I am hanging out here. LOL

....or does she????

 

[sklingem]

Maybe I am a LIW after all??? LOL ... honestly, why would GUYS hang out in the LIW forum?! The would run for their lives after reading through a few of the postings after realizing that the LIW syndrome is much worse than they ever thought it was ...

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 4/9/2008 5:02:31 PM
Author: rob09
Don't feel too safe ladies ... BFs and FFs are lurking on a daily basis (including myself - and yes, I have even learned the secret abreviations!). Funny - MY GF does not know I am hanging out here. LOL

Ha! I don't picture my boyfriend ever coming to a place like this...........I wish

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

For me, I told him after he proposed, and he was very intrigued about the support system I had while going through my waiting, and he was thankful I didn''t take it out on him!

As far as how it feels, some days it''s no different, except being able to look at my ring on my hand, but most days I remember all the anxiety I had, and I think back now that I was so silly for feeling the way I did (down, upset, nervous), but at the time they were valid feelings.

The craziest thing for me was the first time I was actually alone, by myself, and it hit me. "I''m engaged. I''m getting married" and I had to say it out loud, to myself, and the radio The coolest moment was about a week after it happened, we were sitting on the couch, and he called me his fiancee. That was the first time I heard him say that, and it was almost surreal. That''s the fun part - getting to realize all these moments that are sometimes pretty intense because it''s actually true! Look forward to them, it''s amazing when it happens!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/9/2008 6:15:35 PM
Author: rob09
Maybe I am a LIW after all??? LOL ... honestly, why would GUYS hang out in the LIW forum?!

You''re totally a Lad In Waiting, don''t you deny it!

And there are a few guys out there who are ready to get married and waiting for their girlfriends to give the a-ok (like my guy and me)--don''t think he''d be here agonizing over a ring or anything, but he knows this place is here for him if he wants it.

 

[sklingem]

Yeah ... GF nowadays just aren''t as eager as they once were I guess ... lol
So it seems that you are a LIW out of free choice?? ren''t you afraid that the other LIWs are going to strangle you??

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/10/2008 3:23:16 PM
Author: rob09
Yeah ... GF nowadays just aren''t as eager as they once were I guess ... lol

So it seems that you are a LIW out of free choice?? ren''t you afraid that the other LIWs are going to strangle you??

I know you''re joking, but that''s kind of silly. It''s not as if the rest of use are desperate hags simply because we''re waiting for proposals. I''m waiting for my boyfriend to propose, but if I really wanted to be married sooner I would have proposed to him. I''m a LIW out of free choice, too, in that sense.

 

[sklingem]

Sorry, no offense. But you have to admit that there are quite a few eager LIWs (and maybe even FFs in waiting?) on this forum (who would kill/die to get engaged as soon as possible), which, btw, is totally OK! I certainly did not mean to put everyone in the same "basket".
And I certainly would encourage any LIW to propose to their SO!! Should go both ways anyway, IMHO.
Cheers ...

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/10/2008 3:23:16 PM
Author: rob09
Yeah ... GF nowadays just aren''t as eager as they once were I guess ... lol

So it seems that you are a LIW out of free choice?? ren''t you afraid that the other LIWs are going to strangle you??

I am an LIW of my own choice! Crazy, huh?

Our situation is complicated (he lives in the UK; I am from the US but am currently studying in the UK), and I want us to live together before we get engaged/married. He told me just the other day he''d be happy to be already married to me, so whenever I say I''m ready, we''ll be ready.

I hang out here because the people here are fab! If J (my boyfriend) liked to talk about diamonds and jewelry and shoes and cupcakes, I think he''d post here more often than I do.

 

[ringless]

Prince guy... I choose (and most all girls on this site as well) choose to be a LIW b/c we want the feeling to be mutual when we make that next step in our lives with our BF''s (FF''s). Usually, a couple is not on the same page, or one or the other in the relationship is more ready than the other, so it''s sometimes not good for a girl to propose to her man if he isn''t fully ready... you can''t push anything on a man.. and it''s defintely not good to (IMO -- in my opinion). SOoo that is why i''m a LIW. I want it to be a perfect, special time for both of us, and for us to both be 100% ready. Who wants to go into a marriage thinking they were pressured into something?

 

[sklingem]

Hey Ringless - I totally agree with you ... no matter how badly you want it it is much smarter to wait until everybody feels ready and to not pressure unnecessarily ... and that goes both ways! Easier said than done, right? LOL Otherwise this forum would be much less animated ... BUT (as all good readers here are aware of) there are limits to the waiting game ... so again, it is not that simple!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Ohhh Rob looks like you hit a nerve with some of the ladies on here!

I can understand both sides of the coin. No one likes to be lumped into a category that seems..well...crazy. The funny thing I''ve noticed about the LIW forum (which will probably always be my favorite board even after I graduate from it) is that there is a general sense of camaraderie and support unlike any other out there. On the flipside there are some ladies who take the waiting period to a whole new level of impatience. Even I occasionally find myself a little surprised by what I read here and I''m an LIW! So I can understand why you would comment that some men would freak if they read some of the posts here.

The LIW board is a place to come and vent frustrations and concerns some of us do not feel comfortable expressing IRL. It''s also a place where many LIW''s can just out their frustrations and keep themselves from bottling up negative feelings. It''s also a board where wonderful members like NewEnglandLady can chime and share her story of putting herself above all else and taking her life into her own hands. My point is that while some posts are a little over the top, there''s always some one who shares something they learned during their waiting process and for some posters, that''s their magic bean. It''s the one piece of advice she/he needed to hear to be able to burry her/his anxiety and wait patiently for the relationship to grow and be ready to bloom. Sometimes it’s that little bit of inspiration someone needs to get out of a relationship that is not going right.

This was long winded but I was trying to say that we not all ravenous crazies looking for our bling. Some of us are mature, independent women who like to help other people in the same boat and who, from time to time, can benefit from hearing other people tell them “you are just plain overreacting and you need to calm down”. And, as was pointed out by Ringless, I think we are all LIW’s by choice in some manner.
Bravo to you Gwen! Kudos to you for being mature and wanting to make sure you have all your ducks in line before getting engaged!

 

[Bia]

Hmmm...interesting how the subject matter changed...

Personally I think there are a few different types of LIW.
* Some of us are ready, as are our BF/FF/Whaver you want to call them, and "it" has turned into a timing issue or a ring issue.
* Others are ready and their SO is not-so-ready OR vice versa.
* Then there are those who are in love as can be but neither is ready for that next step--they just like to post and chat about it. If I read correctly, there are a few girls (maybe guys?) that have clearly stated they are not ready for an engagement but appreciate the discussion just the same.

I think one thing most of us have in common is that we are in loving relationships and we want to share our experiences...and kill some time talking about our past/approaching/future engagements, AND less we forget, the ROCKS!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:26:56 PM
Author: Bia

AND less we forget, the ROCKS!

LOL - Bia you crack me up!

 

[Bia]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:28:46 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

Date: 4/11/2008 2:26:56 PM
Author: Bia

AND less we forget, the ROCKS!

LOL - Bia you crack me up!

Hehe...its a Boston thing.

Really though, glad to know!!!

 

[sunnyd]

BigT...I''m just laughing at the thought of us all looking like desperate hags. A la Wicked Witch or something. LOL!!!

 

[sklingem]

I think you set things straight with your categories indeed!
Lol!

 

[stryeyes102]

Oh yeah, He knows..

Plus, he knows this forum is adding to my little obsession. Albeit, i am here learning all i can to save him money. We''ve looked at rings before at B&M''s but they were horribly included diamonds and double the price of what i have seen here. He did give me the go ahead to do diamond research (He told me he wanted something of better quality for the money) and without that push i would have never found PS! *GASP*

He thinks its a good thing that i have someplace to ramble on about things that sparkle, with other crazy jewelry people..


I dont believe hes on here; although i keep seeing post with guys taking about being enlisted, but i think he would be sneakier then that! So for now i believe it is my little obsession.

 

[FrekeChild]

He knows and thinks I''m goofy.

He once made me promise that I''d stop visiting once he proposed. I don''t think he expects me to though.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:54:51 PM
Author: sunnyd
BigT...I''m just laughing at the thought of us all looking like desperate hags. A la Wicked Witch or something. LOL!!!

Yeah, we''re all standing around a big cauldron, too!

Well, there are those men (not saying Rob is one of them) that think all unmarried women are just chomping at the bit to get their guys to commit, and will do anything within their power to get that to happen. I don''t think the majority of LIW are like that. In fact, I think a lot of posts here get misconstrued because, behind the safety of a nameless, faceless forum people say things they ordinarily wouldn''t. Also, what anxiety there is surrounding the time in a relationship that leads up to engagement tends to make people vent their frustration in one place - here - as the partners we turn to for support in other times of need often don''t want to hear about engagement anymore.
Which is not to say that most of us aren''t eagerly awaiting "that day"; but to summarily deprive us having choice in the matter by implying that a woman *allowing* her boyfriend the romantic gesture of a proposal somehow lacks power in the situation is insulting, in my opinion.

I think there should be a distinction between a woman waiting to get married because she''s not ready; a woman who chooses to allow her partner the ceremony of proposal; and a woman who has no choice in the matter.

And THAT is what happens when I post after con law. Sorry . . .

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 4/10/2008 6:04:56 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
Bravo to you Gwen! Kudos to you for being mature and wanting to make sure you have all your ducks in line before getting engaged!

Awww, thank you, honey, that''s very sweet of you to say! Honestly, I kind of wish I *didn''t* feel this way sometimes, because not having to wait would make our immigration woes at least somewhat easier. But, oh well--as Popeye says, I yam what I yam.

 

[sklingem]

"Well, there are those men (not saying Rob is one of them) that think all unmarried women are just chomping at the bit to get their guys to commit"
I am glad you are not saying that ... I totally agree that there are many different LIWs here ...
Cheers

 

[Hoping&Waiting]

Oh ya! SO totally knows! But he doesnt know that I ''write'' on here....he is the type of person that wouldnt appreciate me sharing my frustrations with all of these ''strangers'' haha. But in the beginning, I posted A LOT! Now I dont as much, I think its because its getting closer and I am not as frusturated as I used to be So I dont feel bad that he doesnt know I actually ''post here''....but I share stories from the website all the time! And I look at these postings with him sitting next to me sometimes...he doesn''t mind