Do you think

[merrijoy]

Do you think it is more common now that gals upgrade their rings within a shorter amount of married years than in previous generations? Seems to me that folks that got engaged ie 20+ years ago waited longer to upgrade their rings. Why do you think this is? Also if you have upgraded soon into your marriage or engagement, do you get slack from your older relatives - especially yor mil?

Part two question to this - I am pretty sure if I were to upgrade my mil would say "your sick, you know that, just sick." Have you heard similar? How did/would you respond?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 12/23/2009 8:36:22 PM
Author:merrijoy
Do you think it is more common now that gals upgrade their rings within a shorter amount of married years than in previous generations? Seems to me that folks that got engaged ie 20+ years ago waited longer to upgrade their rings. Why do you think this is? Also if you have upgraded soon into your marriage or engagement, do you get slack from your older relatives - especially yor mil?

Part two question to this - I am pretty sure if I were to upgrade my mil would say ''your sick, you know that, just sick.'' Have you heard similar? How did/would you respond?

i would ask her...what''s your problem with my upgrade? you ain''t gonna pay for it.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I do think that the younger generation upgrades in a shorter amount of time into marriage and more frequently than the older generation. I don''t really know why though - maybe entitlement issues or trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Personally, my first e-ring was from the mall, long before I found PS, and I upgraded this year. My new stone is only 4 points bigger than my previous, but is much better quality. DH agreed to do the upgrade only when I pointed out that my old setting was literally starting to fall apart. We saved our money and paid cold hard cash for the new set - which included a new wedding band as well.

My MIL is especially irritated by the fact that I upgraded and if I say anything even remotely snarky about her kids then the first thing out of her mouth is that I''m always upgrading my jewelry and that I should be happy to have any at all.

The best example I have involves my SIL. A few months ago she was an out-of-work attorney that was having her parents (my MIL and FIL) pay her cc bills for her but was still getting her fakies done regularly. I was having some conversation with MIL about money and people in general and I said that the nails were something that SIL could easily cut from her budget. MIL got all offended and said "well at least she isn''t always upgrading her jewelry like you are". I said that I have a lot more money than SIL and not much debt so it was a bit different. MIL didn''t think so.

Oh well. I don''t worry about it. I could understand more it DH and I were going into serious debt for jewelry purchases or in over our heads already, but we aren''t so I figure that it''s just because MIL doesn''t understand how us jewelry loving people are

 

[purrfectpear]

Upgrading after the wedding I understand. Upgrading during the engagement just seems ungrateful and premature to me. Different strokes for different folks I guess. It certainly tells the future hubby what he can expect from the marriage.

 

[Kaleigh]

From reading PS, I have seen people upgrade before they are even married. That''s cool, to each his her own, none of my business.

But to me an upgrade isn''t a new ering given during your engagement. But one given after years of marriage.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 12/23/2009 11:44:33 PM
Author: Kaleigh
From reading PS, I have seen people upgrade before they are even married. That''s cool, to each his her own, none of my business.

But to me an upgrade isn''t a new ering given during your engagement. But one given after years of marriage.

Agreed!

Yes, I definitely think the upgrade thing has become a lot more common. I don''t know why .. Personally, I don''t plan on changing my (future) e-ring, unless there''s something structurally wrong with it or it''s stolen. If I feel the need for more bling, I''d rather get seperate rings, not an "upgrade" engagement ring.

 

[gemgirl]

I think it''s common for women to upgrade now, but I don''t think it was common in past decades. I don''t know one woman in real life that has ever upgraded her e-ring or ever thought to. All of my friends are still wearing either their .50/.60 point stones or their cloudy unattractive diamonds, but they''ll never give them up because that''s their e-ring. I don''t even have one friend who''s ever reset!

 

[monarch64]

Hmm. Most of my friends have been married between 5-10 years now and none of them have upgraded yet. I'd say almost all of them got engaged with 1 carat +, though.

ETA: to answer part 2--if an in-law called me "sick" or really any derogatory name, especially over how I choose to spend my money I would want to slap her. I would certainly never share details about anything like ring upgrades with her ever again. Yuck.

 

[tlh]

I''d probably say, OMG you should have seen what your SON made me do in order to get it! HE''S the sicko - trust me... I EARNED IT.

wicked laugh.


actually if anyone said that, I don''t think we''d have much of a relationship... and i''m not sure how''d I''d comment. Hmm knowing me, I''d probably say something NASTY - as in perverse. It really just depends... I hope you don''t have to face this!

 

[tyty333]

Date: 12/24/2009 9:54:07 AM
Author: tlh
I''d probably say, OMG you should have seen what your SON made me do in order to get it! HE''S the sicko - trust me... I EARNED IT.

wicked laugh.


actually if anyone said that, I don''t think we''d have much of a relationship... and i''m not sure how''d I''d comment. Hmm knowing me, I''d probably say something NASTY - as in perverse. It really just depends... I hope you don''t have to face this!

baaahaaahaaahaa!

That would certainly shut her up!

My Mom (married for 52 years) got her first (and only) upgrade at 25 years. They got married when they were 17 and 19 and for her area she actually had a pretty
nice wedding ring. I think it was about a .25 main stone with about another .25 in both the bands.

Me...10 years and no upgrade (well I did upgrade my wedding band to a .8 ctw 5 stone).

 

[jewelerman]

After 30 years of selling wedding jewely I can say that there is a noticable trend to grade up soon after the first ring is recieved.Some couples even discuss their plans to grade up while they are picking out the first ring together!The trend now seemS to plan for an upgrade after 5 years(Seems time is the factor rather then potential income)rather then 10,15 or 20 years...More and more young couples dont even bother to ask price,but inquire about monthly credit plans right off the bat.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

My mom didn''t so much upgrade, as buy her first diamond ring in her 40s. Prior to that she only had a gold wedding band, so I don''t know if that counts as an upgrade? Funny this is that she rarely ever wears her diamond ring OR her band, haha.

I personally don''t ever plan to change the diamond, but to be fair I''m not a big diamonds gal (I''m more into colored stones), but if my setting ever falls apart I guess I''ll reset it then. It''s 14k gold, so we''ll see how well it stands the test of time and my clumsiness, haha.