Do you think the constant comparison on social media is damaging for young people?

[MaisOuiMadame]

This came up in the recent beauty routine thread.

I do think people compare their looks and their lives in general much more today. The carefully staged glamour shots , that "perfect" moment everywhere.

And I'm under the impression that many young people don't know that those pictures are heavily edited / filtered/staged. The impact is higher, since they think their peers are all living the perfect life.

Or do you think everyone knows it's fake, so no damage to anyone?

 

[chemgirl]

It’s damaging for adults too!

I constantly think I’m an ugly duckling compared to everyone on social media. Then I meet them in real life and they look like completely different people. That perfectly proportioned woman in her mid twenties might actually be a totally average looking 40 year old.

I know it’s fake, but it still gets to me sometimes. I don’t know how to edit pictures so my account doesn’t get the love experienced by some other accounts in the same domain.

On the plus side people are always surprised when they meet me in real life. I look like my pictures! So strange how that’s abnormal now.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Then I meet them in real life and they look like completely different people

Yes! What's the POINT in a picture if doesn't look remotely like the person ??

Please don't doubt yourself! I'm sure staying true to yourself is much healthier in the long run!

 

[missy]

Yes I think there are many who are vulnerable to this. Just look around and see how many eating disorders exist. Trying to live up to an impossible standard. Body dysmorphic disorder as another example.

I, for one, don’t enjoy the airbrushed photos made perfect. We are human beings. We are not plastic.

My dad in his wisdom used to tell me, missy, tell people you are older than your age. Haha love my dad. But he was/is right in that if people’s expectations are lower than you won’t disappoint them.

I think all of the negative social media influences can be overcome however by a strong foundation given to the kids by their parents. It starts in the home imo. It’s the kids who don’t have strong role models to look up to I worry about. Sense of self comes from within and that is learned by unconditional love and support.

 

[bludiva]

i think many people know it's fake and still feel they have to live up to that fake standard...look at makeup countouring, that was not a thing when i was growing up and now it's standard practice...or having a beautiful granola bowl for breakfast, that would be the version you have out at a restaurant and the one you make at home would look like whatever, no one was snapping a photo of breakfast to share with their friends

 

[JPie]

It’s damaging and people need to learn not to get sucked into it. There’s a reason why my IG feed is full of cats and bling, not influencers trying to pass off paid advertising like they’re sharing a great new purse they just happened to buy.

 

[whatamilookingat]

Yes. I sometimes feel bad about myself after a few minutes, and I'm an adult. Even with the knowledge that most of these people are using tons of filters and often faking their glamorous lives, it can make me feel like I should have more things, and that I should get some lip fillers while I'm at it.

However, as an adult, I understand that social media is not reality, and I just stop looking. It's so much harder for young girls to do that. They are constantly bombarded with it on a level that didn't exist when I was growing up. It's part of how they interact with each other.

I'm trying to keep my daughter away from it as long as possible to avoid any bullying or self esteem issues, but I can't keep her off of it forever. We talk about the fakery and dangers that exist on social media so that she's prepared when the time comes, but we're still hesitant.

 

[lyra]

Yes, I think it's potentially damaging to everyone. It doesn't affect me because I fully realize all the angles, filters and photoshop that goes on to portray beauty and fashion looks. Equally negative to some is the fake lifestyles that are portrayed as the norm. None of these things are the norm. I'm glad my kids are grown.

 

[missy]

It’s damaging and people need to learn not to get sucked into it. There’s a reason why my IG feed is full of cats and bling, not influencers trying to pass off paid advertising like they’re sharing a great new purse they just happened to buy.

Haha do we have the same IG feed? No wait, In addition to bling and cats I have cycling. But close.

 

[Tekate]

When I was young I was a size 10, then Twiggy came, Cher, etc, every generation has to compare themselves, although I find the Kardashian's particular distasteful for younger women to compare themselves too, not a natural thing on any of them except the model sister. At my age I look for women my own age and say, "meh I'm doin Aok"

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

influencers trying to pass off paid advertising like they’re sharing a great new purse they just happened to buy.

Many influenceable people get the impression that it's"normal" to have a new 2k bag a week. I know that two seconds of doing the math should be enough to get anyone back to reality, but since it's not a "celebrity" it seems to spur this "I'm entitled to this as well" thinking

no one was snapping a photo of breakfast to share with their friends

Yes, right? Maybe some special dish or cake. But there are people who share every.single.meal.

talk about the fakery and dangers that exist on social media so that she's prepared when the time comes, but we're still hesitant.

I know exactly what you are talking about!!

None of these things are the norm.

This!!

"meh I'm doin Aok"

No, you're not OK, you're awesome!!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

One of my closest friends is a midwife and she recently went on a rant.

She feels that all this sharing of the ONE perfect moment seriously affects the new moms. Again: EXPECTATIONS.

Everyone else is posting pictures with that perfect nursery, baby sleeping in a pristine white broderie anglaise romper. Mom posts her perfect fresh kale juice and overnight oats breakfast. And the poor first time mom without any sleep has poop on her shirt and not had a shower and feels horribly insufficient and just a bad mom. And some also resent their uncooperative Babies.
Obviously it's not all the fault of social media, but she strongly felt this contributes to bonding problems etc etc

 

[missy]

One of my closest friends is a midwife and she recently went on a rant.

She feels that all this sharing of the ONE perfect moment seriously affects the new moms. Again: EXPECTATIONS.

Everyone else is posting pictures with that perfect nursery, baby sleeping in a pristine white broderie anglaise romper. Mom posts her perfect fresh kale juice and overnight oats breakfast. And the poor first time mom without any sleep has poop on her shirt and not had a shower and feels horribly insufficient and just a bad mom. And some also resent their uncooperative Babies.
Obviously it's not all the fault of social media, but she strongly felt this contributes to bonding problems etc etc

I love living where I do. People are real and no pretense. I am so comfortable here to go out looking not my best (tired lazy whatever the reason) and I don't feel judged at all. I love living in the NE where we do because people are very authentic here. My point of view.

 

[Rockdiamond]

I am soooooooo very happy that none of my exploits from my teens-20's are documented for the world to see and judge. I feel sorry for young people today because they will not have the same protection. Young folks are supposed to do stupid stuff.... I wish they had the freedom we did.....

 

[telephone89]

I absolutely do think it's damaging.
I recently read a few articles about how it also makes people feel alone. Like you have 500 "friends" but don't really connect with any of them.

How social media is actually making you feel more alone

Social media is exacerbating our feelings of loneliness. Can we overcome our addiction and find our happiness again?

medium.com

 

[Austina]

I don’t think it’s just the supposed ‘perfect’ image that affects young people, but the whole zelebrity lifestyle thing. Young people see people famous for just being famous, living in fabulous homes, driving expensive cars, jetting off all over the world, and unfortunately, that’s the life they aspire too. It gives them unrealistic expectations about real life, and the kind of life they can have.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I don’t think it’s just the supposed ‘perfect’ image that affects young people, but the whole zelebrity lifestyle thing. Young people see people famous for just being famous, living in fabulous homes, driving expensive cars, jetting off all over the world, and unfortunately, that’s the life they aspire too. It gives them unrealistic expectations about real life, and the kind of life they can have.

Like the new posters in rocky talky who think one carat is about 10mm finger coverage because "everyone has about that size".
Turns out, no on irl has anything remotely close, but on Instagram it felt like it's the norm

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I love living where I do. People are real and no pretense. I am so comfortable here to go out looking not my best (tired lazy whatever the reason) and I don't feel judged at all. I love living in the NE where we do because people are very authentic here. My point of view.

It's nice you have found that perfect spot for a happy life!

 

[Snowdrop13]

I have boys- none of them care about comparing anything and they don’t use Facebook or Instagram to any great deal. Seems to be a female thing......

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I have boys- none of them care about comparing anything and they don’t use Facebook or Instagram to any great deal. Seems to be a female thing......

Idk , my friend's 10 & 12 y/o are really great boys, lovely to have around, but they ask for 600 € sneakers and 200€ T shirts after "influencers* present those on YouTube and Instagram...

 

[bludiva]

I don’t think it’s just the supposed ‘perfect’ image that affects young people, but the whole zelebrity lifestyle thing. Young people see people famous for just being famous, living in fabulous homes, driving expensive cars, jetting off all over the world, and unfortunately, that’s the life they aspire too. It gives them unrealistic expectations about real life, and the kind of life they can have.

We had "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" and "MTV Cribs" when I was younger but it was so over the top I don't think many of my peers came away coveting that lifestyle in the same way as today, you know what I mean? Social media makes it look more accessible imho

 

[kenny]

Yes.

But FB makes trillions of dollars.
That's all that matters.

 

[arkieb1]

Haha do we have the same IG feed? No wait, In addition to bling and cats I have cycling. But close.

I was going to say the same thing, my IG is literally cats and bling

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I was going to say the same thing, my IG is literally cats and bling

Bling and puppies for me!

 

[marymm]

constant comparison is damaging, end stop.

 

[chemgirl]

I don’t know how exactly to frame it with kids, but maybe deconstructing the fakery?

If you’re in a major city you can rent “photography” spaces by the hour. They’re usually high end condos. I’ve witnessed people taking pictures with luxury cars that are not their’s. A girl asked to take a picture of my food at a restaurant once (she was “waiting for a friend” but left after getting pictures). A guy had a photographer taking pictures by the pool at the hotel when DH and I were in Vancouver. That Instagram model who when to Dubai? There’s a good chance that she’s a prostitute.

It’s all fake. It’s kind of embarrassing.

 

[lissyflo]

I absolutely do think it's damaging.
I recently read a few articles about how it also makes people feel alone. Like you have 500 "friends" but don't really connect with any of them.

How social media is actually making you feel more alone

Social media is exacerbating our feelings of loneliness. Can we overcome our addiction and find our happiness again?

medium.com

This social/friendship aspect of it really worries me in addition to the straight psychological impact of being constantly bombarded with perfect images of perfect lives.

Last week we sat near three girls (I'd guess early twenties but I'm bad at guessing ages) in a restaurant. They spent almost the entire time we were eating either taking pictures (largely individually) or staring at their phones and barely said a word to each other. Maybe I misunderstood the situation and they were working or just happened to be together, but they arrived and left in a way that I assumed they were friends out for the night. It's a scene I see fairly regularly, although they were extreme in their photo-taking. When I was their age, a night out in a restaurant with friends would have involved an evening of face-to-face chat. I can't see how strong friendships can be built when friends barely talk to each other and give the subliminal message that whatever is on their phone is more important than the person in front of them. So not only are the younger generation potentially having their confidence eroded by social media, they also don't appear to have much of a chance to build up strong, meaningful firendships to help them through bad times or to give positive affirmation about who they are from that perspective. And if that's how impersonal individual relationships with friends can seem, how on earth will society hold together if everyone is focused on themselves and what they want most of the time?

I really worry about the world my children will grow up in. I'm an old fart by twenty year old standards, so maybe I'm missing something - maybe we're the equivalent of 1950's parents complaining about rock 'n' roll being a bad influence and a corruption on society?!

 

[missy]

Bling and puppies for me!

Oh yes I have puppies on my IG too. We are a family who loves animals.

 

[missy]

This social/friendship aspect of it really worries me in addition to the straight psychological impact of being constantly bombarded with perfect images of perfect lives.

Last week we sat near three girls (I'd guess early twenties but I'm bad at guessing ages) in a restaurant. They spent almost the entire time we were eating either taking pictures (largely individually) or staring at their phones and barely said a word to each other. Maybe I misunderstood the situation and they were working or just happened to be together, but they arrived and left in a way that I assumed they were friends out for the night. It's a scene I see fairly regularly, although they were extreme in their photo-taking. When I was their age, a night out in a restaurant with friends would have involved an evening of face-to-face chat. I can't see how strong friendships can be built when friends barely talk to each other and give the subliminal message that whatever is on their phone is more important than the person in front of them. So not only are the younger generation potentially having their confidence eroded by social media, they also don't appear to have much of a chance to build up strong, meaningful firendships to help them through bad times or to give positive affirmation about who they are from that perspective. And if that's how impersonal individual relationships with friends can seem, how on earth will society hold together if everyone is focused on themselves and what they want most of the time?

I really worry about the world my children will grow up in. I'm an old fart by twenty year old standards, so maybe I'm missing something - maybe we're the equivalent of 1950's parents complaining about rock 'n' roll being a bad influence and a corruption on society?!

Another old fart here. I think it impacts the kids. I don’t think they are as good at face to face communication. It’s a great and risky experiment and one we won’t know the ramifications of for decades to come. Scary experiment but it’s happening. I don’t think it’s the same as parents of the 50s eschewing the rock and roll their kids listened to.

 

[missy]

constant comparison is damaging, end stop.

Truth.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”