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Do you think that building self-restraint...

nala

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 23, 2011
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4,900
When it comes to a bling ban can lead you to lose interest in jewelry?
Yesterday I passed on two pieces that would have come home with me had I not put myself on a bling ban. I’m on ban island bc not only did I upgrade my stone but I also purchased 2 settings in the past 2 months.
I woke up today and looked at the pics i took and threads I posted about said pieces and didn’t feel regret. I did make a mental note not to go window shopping if I’m not in the market and I’m pretty sure that I can stick to that.
so back to my question—for those of you who’ve practiced self-restraint when it comes to impulse purchases—did you lose interest in jewelry after a while? Thoughts?
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
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No, as I always have a wish list even if I am on a self-imposed bling ban, which does not happen very often.

DK :))
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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No, but I think it does help me manage my spending and curbs my impulsiveness. I’m either never on a bling ban or always on a bling ban, depending on how you define it, but yeah I never just “buy”. I have a wish list that I’m constantly adding to and pruning and editing, and I won’t buy anything unless it’s been on my wish list for 6 months uninterrupted. I love window shopping for jewelry and Pinterest and instagram, and finding more things to fall for, but that’s because I’m completely comfortable with the idea of not owning everything I love. A little bit of waiting, delaying/denying and losing out on things makes buying/owning the things you have so much sweeter. So I buy things 1-2x a year, not more, and in the meanwhile I dream about the things that I love and save up for them. I think self restraint probably makes me love jewelry more because there’s no space for ennui in my bling life!
 

mellowyellowgirl

Ideal_Rock
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Not lose interest but the achievement of going for so long without buying fuels me to be "good" for longer and I can hold out for longer.

It's not so much that I lose interest when I don't buy, it's that when I do buy, the purchase tends to act as a catalyst for me to go berserk.
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
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Having burnt my fingers badly financially 10 years ago, I only spend what I can afford, blings or otherwise.

This year's is special as I reached the age when I can tap into my pensions/retirement funds.

However it will be back to normal budgetary level for blings next year.

DK :))
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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41,812
so back to my question—for those of you who’ve practiced self-restraint when it comes to impulse purchases—did you lose interest in jewelry after a while? Thoughts?
No, maybe the opposite lol. For example, I practiced restraint with Bubbalah. I saw her first October 2016 and I didn't make her mine til 2018. I couldn't stop thinking about her but I felt the time wasn't right. I wasn't mentally prepared to spend that much on a diamond. 2 years thinking about it and dreaming of her was the time I needed to realize she had to be mine. Fortunately Grace made it happen as someone else had bought her 2 years prior after I told Grace I couldn't. Long story and won't bore you here but suffice to say it was meant to be. Or meant to be Bubbalah for me.

Yesterday I passed on two pieces that would have come home with me had I not put myself on a bling ban. I’m on ban island bc not only did I upgrade my stone but I also purchased 2 settings in the past 2 months.
I woke up today and looked at the pics i took and threads I posted about said pieces and didn’t feel regret. I did make a mental note not to go window shopping if I’m not in the market and I’m pretty sure that I can stick to that.
Reading what you wrote makes me feel that those pieces you passed on the other day weren't meant to be yours and that is why you don't feel regret. With Bubbalah all I felt was regret no matter how much I told myself no, she wasn't that beautiful, she wasn't that perfect (for me), it's OK I passed on purchasing her. Those were lies I was telling myself. In your case the pieces you passed on buying weren't your pieces if you kwim so you don't feel regret. It's when that piece is all you can think about (bling wise despite lots of other bling distractions) for 2 years that you know hey, I need to get her.

You have your HG piece and you are satiated. I am satiated too since I have Bubbalah. And while I think about buying other jewelry I am still satisfied and content and it's just nice thinking about adding to my jewelry wardrobe. I don't have any more burning desire for any other pieces. Like I did for Bubbalah.


ETA I saw her in person with @LLJsmom for the first time at the antique jewelry show.
And because this is PS and photos/videos are always a bonus here you go. Bubbalah's first online presence ever.

This is the video Grace posted online after I saw her in person.

http://instagr.am/p/BL_oMGYA4Qa/
 

Made in London

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
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282
Not lose interest but the achievement of going for so long without buying fuels me to be "good" for longer and I can hold out for longer.

It's not so much that I lose interest when I don't buy, it's that when I do buy, the purchase tends to act as a catalyst for me to go berserk.
Berserk........:bigsmile::lol-2::bigsmile:
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 2, 2012
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1,474
To me, it all starts with what I spend my leisure internet time on. When I spend it looking at and discussing gems and jewelry, of course I find things I want.

It's the same if I get online and look at/discuss clothes, books, recipes, home decor or anything else I have an interest in. Except that most of those other things are far less expensive or more necessary or something for my husband and I rather than just myself. Nice jewelry is delicious but it is also the kind of thing that can easily become a problem for many of us.

So now I have a jewelry budget and I'm also more back into sterling silver and CZs rather than just the high end stuff.
 
Last edited:

elizat

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 23, 2013
Messages
2,141
When I don't do something for a long time I tend to check out of that hobby or interest.

I used to do a ton of baking for example. I don't bake very much now and because I don't bake very much, I find that I'm simply not really interested in reading recipe blogs, cookbooks, or anything else related to it.

That's actually quite similar to jewelry. If I'm not actively researching a purchase, or looking at something new, I might scroll through Instagram and like things that are pretty, but I don't spend much time on the hobby.
 

pearlsngems

Brilliant_Rock
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My interest in bling (and various other kinds of things I have collected over the years) has always been influenced by exposure. When I spend less time browsing at gem shows or in shops (B&M or online) and reading related forums, I spend less.
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
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Jul 7, 2013
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7,539
I was not planning to buy anymore CS this year as I had already spent way too much on CS alone!

However, when I saw the oval Mali Garnet on one of Jeff Davies' FB pages, its colour popped at me, and it was very affordable. So I place a bid in the hope I would win.

I did not win, however, I decided to check to see if he has similar stocks, and found a 1.04ct one that I liked, shortly before he contacted me to ask if I would be interested in two other similar oval stones (I was not) after missing out on the one I was bidding.

So I informed him about the round one I was interested in purchasing, and we agreed on a price and it is now on its way to me.

Call it lack of self-restraint if you like, however, I believe it is fate and this Mali garnet has my name on it.

DK :))
 

MMtwo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
1,974
When it comes to a bling ban can lead you to lose interest in jewelry?
Yesterday I passed on two pieces that would have come home with me had I not put myself on a bling ban. I’m on ban island bc not only did I upgrade my stone but I also purchased 2 settings in the past 2 months.
I woke up today and looked at the pics i took and threads I posted about said pieces and didn’t feel regret. I did make a mental note not to go window shopping if I’m not in the market and I’m pretty sure that I can stick to that.
so back to my question—for those of you who’ve practiced self-restraint when it comes to impulse purchases—did you lose interest in jewelry after a while? Thoughts?
Hi Nala, the fact that you are not struggling to circle back is a great sign.
Personally, I go in cycles. It seems the more I look, the more I want. I have periods of 1 to 5 years between intense focus, jewelry binges and spending. I am settling down right now.

No, maybe the opposite lol. For example, I practiced restraint with Bubbalah. I saw her first October 2016 and I didn't make her mine til 2018. I couldn't stop thinking about her but I felt the time wasn't right. I wasn't mentally prepared to spend that much on a diamond. 2 years thinking about it and dreaming of her was the time I needed to realize she had to be mine. Fortunately Grace made it happen as someone else had bought her 2 years prior after I told Grace I couldn't. Long story and won't bore you here but suffice to say it was meant to be. Or meant to be Bubbalah for me.



Reading what you wrote makes me feel that those pieces you passed on the other day weren't meant to be yours and that is why you don't feel regret. With Bubbalah all I felt was regret no matter how much I told myself no, she wasn't that beautiful, she wasn't that perfect (for me), it's OK I passed on purchasing her. Those were lies I was telling myself. In your case the pieces you passed on buying weren't your pieces if you kwim so you don't feel regret. It's when that piece is all you can think about (bling wise despite lots of other bling distractions) for 2 years that you know hey, I need to get her.

You have your HG piece and you are satiated. I am satiated too since I have Bubbalah. And while I think about buying other jewelry I am still satisfied and content and it's just nice thinking about adding to my jewelry wardrobe. I don't have any more burning desire for any other pieces. Like I did for Bubbalah.


ETA I saw her in person with @LLJsmom for the first time at the antique jewelry show.
And because this is PS and photos/videos are always a bonus here you go. Bubbalah's first online presence ever.

This is the video Grace posted online after I saw her in person.

http://instagr.am/p/BL_oMGYA4Qa/
Missy, she is a grail ring - what a lovely, lovely ring. I can see why you thought of her for years.

To me, it all starts with what I spend my leisure internet time on. When I spend it looking at and discussing gems and jewelry, of course I find things I want.

It's the same if I get online and look at/discuss clothes, books, recipes, home decor or anything else I have an interest in. Except that most of those other things are far less expensive or more necessary or something for my husband and I rather than just myself. Nice jewelry is delicious but it is also the kind of thing that can easily become a problem for many of us.

So now I have a jewelry budget and I'm also more back into sterling silver and CZs rather than just the high end stuff.
This is a very smart solution for bling-itis.
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
4,900
Thanks to all of you for your replies. Very insightful.
 
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