Do you sometimes just not like a poster?!

[kenny]

Since I'm one of those superior people who has triumphed over all base instincts I never judge anyone so I'd have no way of knowing when I didn't like someone.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Nope.

But I have been, and still am abused by others who do not like me. I think it is childish.

Steal
i don't wanna mess with you cuz i know you can kick my A$$.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Every now and then there is a poster who just seems to rub me the wrong way. Be it their words, or just the tone of those words. Infrequent, but it happens.

but i still love ya my RH gf!!

 

[yssie]

Since I'm one of those superior people who has triumphed over all base instincts I never judge anyone so I'd have no way of knowing when I didn't like someone.

 

[kenny]

Since I'm one of those superior people who has triumphed over all base instincts I never judge anyone so I'd have no way of knowing when I didn't like someone.

Yeah, the whole "I don't judge people" thing cracks me up!

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes, but that doesn't happen often. I may disagree with a poster's point of view, but not enough to actually dislike them.

There are 2 that caused people to stop posting here. That makes me sad.

 

[AprilBaby]

Absolutely, but them I don't read their posts.

 

[Autumnovember]

Yes, and right about now I'm really really not liking a particular poster. I'll be ignoring their posts from here on out.

 

[packrat]

I've only disliked one person on the internet before and that was on a forum from..yikes, 8 years ago I think. It was a SMALL group, and other than the owner of the board, she was the only woman, and then I showed up, invited by the owner and her boyfriend, from another board. It was a thing like..she would post things and I'd think..was that a dig at me? Is she purposely trying to be rude or am I not understanding her "tone of voice"? And yep, she just didn't like me, so whatever that was ages ago and the board didn't last long.

I don't keep track of what people say, no notebook to jot down "8-11-10, Thing2 said X to Y and it was uncalled for" (That's an example people, just pulled her out of thin air. I'm magic like that) or write down who has differing opinions than I do. I can like people who think differently than me. (the pot thread springs to mind) I like to read different thoughts on things. It's good to have an open mind. If someone said truly awful horrible things about another person or about a group of people, that's different, but an opposing viewpoint is nice.

One forum I go to there was a guy who was really smart, and he would participate in religious threads, and I followed him over to a board devoted to religion. We have differing beliefs, but it was the way he presented them-never condescending or rude. He really made me *think* and I liked that a lot.

 

[RedRobbin]

I think it's funny how you can really dislike a person's Internet personality but then if you meet them in real life, you see they are totally different than how they come off online. People say things on the Internet with a bluntness that they would never use in real life. Have you ever noticed that? I think it can work the other way too. A person could be very likable online but not at all likable in real life. Interesting question.

 

[Lauren8211]

There are posters that I'm less fond of, but I don't dislike them. More often than not, I feel sorry for them.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Yep, and her name is Sparkly Blonde. Usually I just want to kick myself for getting online after a bad day - it never turns out good. Otherwise, thanks to my live in the moment way of life, I can never remember who ticked me off anyway.

 

[pennquaker09]

Honestly, I can't think of anyone here that I dislike. More than anything, life is too short.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: Do sometimes just not like a poster?!

Ha, your "I has a sad" line made me laugh! I think it's totally normal to just not like people, even over the internet. Some personalities just clash-it's the way of the world.

Even more common, in my opinion, is just not "clicking" with people. For example, I play on a co-ed soccer team and my sister is pretty good friends with one of the guys, hangs out with him outside of soccer, etc. For some reason he and I just don't really click. I'll make a joke, he won't get it, and vice versa. We don't dislike each other but we just don't really click with each other, either.

Anyway, no need for the sad. I don't expect everyone to like me and I'm sure they don't!

I've had that happen! There was this young woman in college who was a friend of one of my best friends.

We spent a lot of time together. One day said, "We never hang out. We need to hang out."

So we did but we had nothing to say to each other. It was weird so we never tried it again. We just didn't click with each other.

There's no reason why we shouldn't have and we tried but we just didn't.

I'm glad I made you laugh. I did feel kind of traumatized by the whole thing, especially the fact that these people's grudges are never ending and because the moderators only inflamed the situation (I don't think one of them meant to after speaking to him in private, the other one is a drama queen and just can't be bothered to read posts before opening his mouth) BUT that was this morning and I've made a decision.

I've decided that, no matter what, I am not going to reply to any of these three people's posts. I think that's what I should do. I should just ignore these people no matter what they post and if they post something in reply to me, they'll get the message soon enough.

I thought about it and I think this is the only good (if you can call it that) course of action.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: Do sometimes just not like a poster?!

Of course. Just like in real life!

Is the other forum where this happened a close-knit community? Or prone to group think? I sometimes post on another forum--it's a pet forum--but the members don't think as independently as PSers. It's still a valuable community and a great resource, but in general the community sort of follows one train of thought and if you challenge one of the worshipped members, the whole community i-stones you. And once you've been branded as a "bad apple", your reputation sticks.

I do find that some forums are just full of people who think the same way so they can be condescending towards those who don't. It's one of the reasons I like PS--it's an education-based forum, so people usually arrive here because they're thinking independently to begin with.

It IS a close knit community, with a history going back years, BUT there are different, I don't know how you would call it, cliques.

It has PM's too and LOTS of backstabbing.

 

[Imdanny]

Maybe I can turn this into a positive.

Carl Jung said something to the effect of, we can learn a great deal about ourselves from the people who annoy us the most.
I think that's one of the most clever things I've ever read.

I try to ponder my own buttons when others push them.
Over time I've managed to disconnect the wires going to some of my buttons, though I still have more to go.
(Also BTW I read the thread in question.)

Thank you for reading it. I've decided not to go back and post in it, but I will say to you that a certain someone decided to act as an objective, in effect, moderator, telling me something like what you've just said AND calling out the two people who piled on, after it was over, because they just wanted a piece of the drama. I'm glad that person called it like that person saw it, especially because one of the "real" moderators cranked up into overdrive falsely and I should say in a baseless way yelling at me about "maybe you are carrying on PM battles, if so, please stop" as if ANYTHING in the thread implied that I had sent a single PM and I did not. That person I'm sure is a nice person in real life, but a totally biased, drama queen in his sad attempts to be a moderator when it comes to me.

BUT, yes, as you read in my post above, I DID decide that I needed to look at MY OWN reactions, and that I need to not react to these people (literally).

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: Do sometimes just not like a poster?!

Hm. Strange, but when I think about it, no one on PS rubs me (consistently) the wrong way. And since it's the only forum I frequent, I guess I have to say there really aren't any posters I don't like. Plenty I don't agree with, but none I really feel any animosity toward. I don't hold grudges so I guess that helps.

Ditto - sometimes someone rubs me super wrong and I think at the time that I'll not get over it but soon enough I don't even remember the person and sometimes the incident. I am a very forgiving person too and always want to give people more chances. Sometimes people have bad days or bad communication days and I guess it's not really in me to hold onto that indefinitely.

 

[Imdanny]

I don't keep track of what people say, no notebook to jot down "8-11-10, Thing2 said X to Y and it was uncalled for" (That's an example people, just pulled her out of thin air. I'm magic like that)

 

[Steel]

Nope.

But I have been, and still am abused by others who do not like me. I think it is childish.

Steal
i don't wanna mess with you cuz i know you can kick my A$$.

But I would kiss your boo-boo's better afterwards; if your wife didn't mind.

 

[Imdanny]

Re: Do sometimes just not like a poster?!

Hm. Strange, but when I think about it, no one on PS rubs me (consistently) the wrong way. And since it's the only forum I frequent, I guess I have to say there really aren't any posters I don't like. Plenty I don't agree with, but none I really feel any animosity toward. I don't hold grudges so I guess that helps.

Ditto - sometimes someone rubs me super wrong and I think at the time that I'll not get over it but soon enough I don't even remember the person and sometimes the incident. I am a very forgiving person too and always want to give people more chances. Sometimes people have bad days or bad communication days and I guess it's not really in me to hold onto that indefinitely.

I'm so naive that I want people to like me and I'll forgive them and kind of forget about what happened but I run into situations like the one I wrote about where certain people do hold a grudge against me and just don't like me no matter what I do. It's hard for me to understand how these people act because I just keep giving them the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, they just keep hating on me. It's happened so many times that I think one of the lessons I have to learn is that these people don't like me and they're never going to like me. They're always going to be hostile and rude and I need to accept that's how they feel, that it's not a reflection on me, and move on.

 

[princesss]

Oh yeah.

 

[dragonfly411]

I can't say that I've ever disliked someone HERE. I've disagreed at times, or even felt hurt once or twice before, but it never made me dislike anyone. I actually am quite fond of many of you, and this is where I go when I need to grow and learn. I like to settle down with some hot tea at home in the evenings and read this.

Now, I did talk on a horse forum long ago... and there were several people I disliked. Mainly because they were in the business for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Circe]

Maybe I can turn this into a positive.

Carl Jung said something to the effect of, we can learn a great deal about ourselves from the people who annoy us the most.
I think that's one of the most clever things I've ever read.

I try to ponder my own buttons when others push them.
Over time I've managed to disconnect the wires going to some of my buttons, though I still have more to go.
(Also BTW I read the thread in question.)

One of my favorite quotations is by Lloyd Ogilive, and along the same lines: Tell me what ticks you off, and I'll tell you what makes you tick.

That said, certain posters sooooooooo annoy me. One person made me see red whenever they posted and it took me a while to figure out why. It was because they'd talk ABOUT people in their own threads, as opposed to talking TO them, i.e., "Well, she's obviously very spoiled to do X, Y, and Z." I kept wondering how people resisted the urge to go "I am RIGHT HERE." For that matter, I wondered how *I* resisted the urge to be completely inappropriate and bust in with it. Happily, they left the forum where they used to post, but for a while there ... aaaaaaargh!

 

[Lula]

There were three that used to drive me crazy -- one of whom has been alluded to by other posters on this thread -- but all three of my least favorite posters are gone now. Makes me kind of sad in a way, because reading their posts was like trying to tear your eyes away from an accident -- you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help yourself

I've had a few dust-ups with other posters (note to self: resist the urge to post when having a bad day) but that happens when you're on a forum and all you have is the written word with no non-verbal cues.

Some of these dust-ups are also due to language barriers. I continue to be amazed by how many non-native English speakers post on this forum -- I can't imagine how hard it is to navigate the English language on an online forum, where people don't always use correct grammar, slang and idioms abound, and there is no eye contact or voice inflection. To everyone reading this whose first language is not English -- you have my deepest admiration!

 

[Nomsdeplume]

I don't really dislike anyone in particular, but there are a few posters who I try to steer clear of, mostly because their comments are consistently catty. I just don't think it's worth my time. However, I do try to keep in mind that it's hard to interpret a "tone" when just reading. I'm sure I have also been misunderstood at times.

 

[MonkeyPie]

There are a couple people that are just downright rude and somehow get away with it (whereas someone like me would be in trouble, like you know, kindergarten), and I intensely disliked them for treating everyone so bluntly. Thankfully, most are gone.

There are a couple others that I just feel sorry for, because they come off as clearly awkward, and socially inept, and very ME ME ME.

I'm sure people don't like me, either. It's the nature of the beat

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Definitely, two in particular, one of which is gone and one who just hasn't posted in awhile and I would hope stays that way.

 

[katamari]

There are a couple posters who rub me the wrong way, but in threads I am not involved in but lurk on, so I am not sure if it is okay that I have an opinion. Like, I lurk the Pregnancy thread and the TTC thread. Those threads are highly interactive with people writing and commenting to all the Pregnant or TTC PSers--all but one, anyways. She only talks about herself and asks questions, but never responds to what is going on with everyone else. Drives. Me. Crazy. But, again, I am not active in those threads and those who are seem okay with her. And, she is not that active a PSer. That and the RT issue that has been discussed here before. I don't consider many of the posters on RT "PSers" since they are just here to get through the diamond purchase and then move on, but I would like to see some of them be more respectful of those who are actually helpful members of our community here.

Generally, if I skip a poster here, it is usually because of writing style and not personality. Huge text blocks or incoherence just take too much work for me and I am not willing to invest my time in deciphering it. (Perhaps that makes me the jerk).

 

[Tacori E-ring]

apparently someone really dislikes me!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

apparently someone really dislikes me!!!

Their loss not your's.