Wedding do you regret sending out...reply cards?

[rainbowtrout]

One of my close friends who is getting married soon said not to bother with reply cards, as it is just pouring money down the drain--no one responds to them, anyway. Has this been people''s experience? We could set up an rsvp site on the webpage I suppose...

 

[oobiecoo]

I was kind of wondering if these are neccessary also. I got a DIY kit that has invitations, envelopes, reply cards, thank you cards and envelopes. There is only one set of small envelopes which will fit either the reply or thank you card and I don''t really understand why they didn''t give me more envelopes for them all. I was thinking I could just send the reply card with the invitation but not give them a stamped envelope to send it back? Is that tacky?? I could put our website on there so they could rsvp online...

 

[labbielove]

It depends on the feel of your wedding and also your guest list.
There is no way we could have depended on a website RSVP,
We sent out 46 invites, and only had to call 4 people.
Everyone else responded by the RSVP date.

I know postcard RSVPs are an option- less postage.

 

[rainbowtrout]

are there postcard rsvp''s that will go through a laser?

 

[HollyS]

Date: 11/29/2007 9:50:37 AM
Author:rainbowtrout
One of my close friends who is getting married soon said not to bother with reply cards, as it is just pouring money down the drain--no one responds to them, anyway. Has this been people''s experience? We could set up an rsvp site on the webpage I suppose...

What kind of people does this gal know? One, out of the 50 we sent out, did not get returned! How on earth would you have any idea (if you have a large wedding) how many people the caterer needs to be prepared for?

I definitely do not consider them to be "optional". They made the difference of about $1000. in food costs for us; and we had a small enough budget that that amount was significant.

 

[sumbride]

There were several we didn''t get back but I really enjoyed looking through the ones we did get back because most of them had notes on them! If I got an invitation that did not request a response I would think it was more of an announcement... that I wasn''t really invited. Use reply cards!!!

 

[cara]

Uh, relative to the cost of the wedding the reply cards and postage were quite cheap, but I guess it does add up.

And even though only ~60% of our invitees replied without further harassment, the reply card cost was certainly worth the hassle of not having to track down those people. But maybe some of them would have also managed to reply if there had been no card, but I am wondering what fraction managed to reply with the card that would have neglected to reply if it had not been included?

Plus it was really fun to check the mailbox each day to see who had sent in their answer.

In the end, you know your guests. Which do you have?:

Diligent people that will reply appropriately card or no card.

Diligent people that will reply somehow but not necessarily with an included card (ie. phone, email.)

People for whom the card is easier or clear in purpose and its inclusion increases the chance they will manage to reply (this is why you send the card.)

Less diligent/clueless people that will somehow neglect to reply no matter what and you will need to chase them down.

Maybe your friend just got too many of the later.

 

[rainbowtrout]

She said that her stationary person told her this, so it isn't based on her guest list. They are also in the south, maybe it is a regional thing.


I'm a fan of postcards, but I'm not sure where to find ones that are DIY.


And no, it isn't a HUGE expense, but it puts our invitation stationary cost from 80 to at least 40 dollars more (20 for the cards, 20 for the envelopes), not including stamps.

 

[anchor31]

I''m definitely sending reply cards... It might sound strange, but some people on our list don''t have internet, so online RSVP wouldn''t work. Phone RSVP would mean huge phone bills (most people are OOT)... so I prefer paying an extra 25$ for postage.

 

[april diamonds]

I don''t get it...how are people suppose to tell you they are coming? I mean I guess you could write on it please call or email a RSVP...but that''s just as much effort as checking off "yes" and putting the already stamped card in the mail isn''t it??

 

[tiffanytwisted]

I personally couldn''t have done our dinner without the RSVP cards. Out of 200 invitations, we probably had about 10 people not return the cards. We had to have an exact count for the caterer, and I had place cards for the tables.
I have known people who were doing a buffet style that didn''t require an exact count not have rsvp cards.
We had one friend with a website that we rsvp''d on, and personally I thought it was a little tacky. I have older family members who have never used a computer (grandparents), so this wouldn''t have worked for me.

 

[littlelysser]

I''m definitely in the send them out camp!

We had about 50 people at our wedding, and everyone but one person sent them back.

A number of people wrote great little notes on them...plus, it was fun to get something in the mail that wasn''t a bill or junk mail!

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/30/2007 9:34:51 AM
Author: April Diamonds
I don''t get it...how are people suppose to tell you they are coming? I mean I guess you could write on it please call or email a RSVP...but that''s just as much effort as checking off ''yes'' and putting the already stamped card in the mail isn''t it??

They are supposed to tell you they are coming by sending in a handwritten note, of course!

I think the answer to this question depends entirely on your guests, Rainbow, as many people have already said. For example, my side of the family would find it quite rude if we include response cards because of the connotation that we couldn''t trust they would send in the proper reply (a handwritten note). HOWEVER, my FI says that his family would have no idea how to reply if a response card was not included (which I find odd--surely they can find the nearest post office) SO we will likely include response cards for his side, and none for mine.

Do what will work best for you and your guests, Rainbow. I think a lot of brides on PS have set up websites with an RSVP option in addition to their reply cards. As for the cost, you could declare that you plan on following traditional etiquette for formal events and are therefore not doing response cards at all!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

I''m in the "they are necessary" camp!

I did RSVP postcards and they worked liked a charm.

 

[janinegirly]

i think they''re essential too. i would say most people DO use return them, with the stubborn few who don''t bother. But at least you can chase down just those people rather than have to deal with all of them.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Well, it sounds like most of you had a good experience with them, so send them I shall...my grandmother did explain to me the "proper" method of sending a handwritten note, but I do think most people wouldn''t know that, or at least enough to be a problem...

 

[Stephanie]

Date: 11/29/2007 1:32:20 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
She said that her stationary person told her this, so it isn''t based on her guest list. They are also in the south, maybe it is a regional thing.

Where in the south - southeast or west? Here in the southeast, I have never not received a reply card. Even if they were buffet or family style set ups, every invitation has included one.. I am in the necessary camp.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Southeast...who knows, maybe her stationer is just buggers.

 

[Stephanie]

Date: 11/30/2007 3:16:40 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
Southeast...who knows, maybe her stationer is just buggers.

Ha! Maybe..

 

[Pandora II]

I have 120 guests and I''m not intending to send out reply cards.

All FI''s and my friends would much rather do everything on line (and most have already rsvp''ed to my panicked email about hotel rooms a few weeks ago - had a tip off that there were 3 other weddings that weekend in the VERY small area my parents live, so booked an entire hotel basically!)

My parents friends are all very old school and will all send formal handwritten RSVPs. Family will either send handwritten letters of just phone my mother.

I think it''s a waste of money personally...

 

[iceplum]

Chargergirl - how did you do the RSVP postcards? Did you make your own? I''ve read in other threads to use heavy paper that''s 3.5" x 5". Did you just print the RSVP on the paper that''s the size of an index card and put a stamp on it? Thanks

AprilDiamond - I saw your thread on your invitations and absolutely love them!! Did you ever take more pictures of the finished product? I couldn''t reply to your original thread (maybe the thread was too old??), so thought I could borrow this one to ask you about your invites. Did you use one of those Xyron machines to glue your invite to the petal? regarding the embossing, I want to use plum flower because my last name means plum, so you used the rubber stamp or print the flowers? after that you used the embossing powder, to emboss the black/brown part of the flowers? how did you emboss the pink in the flowers? Thanks for the help!

 

[enbcfsobe]

you could also do DIY postcard replies on plain cardstock to coordinate with your invites. most stationary stores and places like staples sell nice blank cardstock in a variety of colors. you can try a few thru your laser printer and see how it comes out.
i agree with the folks above that if people don''t send a reply card, they''re generally also not going to bother to call, email, or go to your website. it doesn''t mean they are bad people (i am personally terrible at rsvping b/c i always lose the cards).
that said, this may be very regional. there was a discussion at some point of receptions down south being more of an open house than a formal to-do. i do think expectations can vary depending on the local custom. i think you will find that doing rsvps is worth the extra cost in the end, even if only half of the people respond. only you can decide how valuable your time will be as you get down to the wire in the weeks and days before your wedding.

 

[gtn]

You could order Postcards from
avery labels

Here is the link for the laser cards.

avery laser labels


These guys come pre-perforated and you could instruct your computer to do whatever template you like.


If you are lucky, you could pick these up at your local office supply store, but otherwise you could order online or make it out of cardstock and cut it yourself.


Oh yeah, I forgot to add, my family doesn''t always respond using the RSVP cards, but I plan to send them out anyway. It is a small cost to pay rather than hounding all 300 guest, I only will need to harass a few people.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 11/29/2007 11:02:09 AM
Author: rainbowtrout
are there postcard rsvp''s that will go through a laser?

I did postcard rsvps. My invite thread (DYI with details) is on here somewhere. I do not regret sending them. Most sent theirs back. Not everyone is computer savvy (like older relatives).