Do you live to work or work to live?

[luckystar112]

The blackberry thread had me wondering.
How much time per day/week do you spend working? Do you take work home with you? I think a lot of workaholics look at everyone else like they are lazy. And a lot of people who have priorities outside of work look at workaholics like they're trying to escape a boring life.

I'm a total work-to-liver. The thought spending over 40 hours a week doing something I'm not passionate about makes me sick to my stomach. Right now I work four hours a day, Mon-Fri, but only go into the office on Mon/Wed/Fri. I hate those twelve hours a week in the office and couldn't imagine spending 9 hours per day in there! But it is very easy to do my job from home, so I always feel that it is pointless for me to be there (basically just do it so they know I'm alive).

I definitely don't feel that I am lazy. Okay, maybe over the summer...but at that point I feel like I've earned it. The rest of the year I have a full course load on top of my job and I fight for personal time. School takes priority over work right now, and I definitely intend to put family first once I have one (which will hopefully mean that I'll be working a job that isn't so time-consuming).

My DH works from 7am until about 8pm six days a week. He isn't a workaholic, but he sure spends enough of his life there (what I call a live-to-worker, since that's all he does)! I get so TICKED when his boss calls him on his day off. It also sucks that we can never take any weekend trips to get out of our house every once in a while.
I don't think I would take a job where I had to get my unpaid vacations approved or if I was expected to work while ON vacation (it would depend on the job, of course). I basically just could never work a job where that job was expected to be my whole life (crazy hours, little to no time off, forced to take work home, etc.!).

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Total work-to-live woman here. I like that my job is challenging and I do spend more than 8 hours there (I get behind because I prefer to go to PS, haha), but my life starts when I get home and I live for the weekends. DH and I are both extremely energetic, so we pour a lot into work, but pour even more into our personal lives.

D is also a work-to-live type. He was recently so drained with his career that he decided to get out of it just for the chance that he might find something he loves. It''s so easy to get trapped by one''s career, we''ve made an effort not to. Now he''s enjoying his life and trades stocks at his leisure instead of being trapped behind a desk 12 hours a day. We both get little sleep and actually like being exhausted, just not by WORK, haha.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 8/11/2008 7:04:02 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Total work-to-live woman here. I like that my job is challenging and I do spend more than 8 hours there (I get behind because I prefer to go to PS, haha), but my life starts when I get home and I live for the weekends. DH and I are both extremely energetic, so we pour a lot into work, but pour even more into our personal lives.

D is also a work-to-live type. He was recently so drained with his career that he decided to get out of it just for the chance that he might find something he loves. It's so easy to get trapped by one's career, we've made an effort not to. Now he's enjoying his life and trades stocks at his leisure instead of being trapped behind a desk 12 hours a day. We both get little sleep and actually like being exhausted, just not by WORK, haha.

I so agree with this statement. I think sometimes we get caught up in trying to do a millions things at one time and take one piece of work home and then before you know it you are working the weekends and responding to emails at night, etc.

 

[purrfectpear]

I don''t live to work, and I don''t really work to live completely either. I work for the money period. I love the absolute independence a healthy salary gives me. I never look at the gas pump, I don''t look for bargains in the market - I just buy what I want. I''m certainly not wealthy, but I appreciate a life where I''m not bothered by the things that seem to stress out so many others. I work a 40 hour week for the majority, but occasionally I put in 55-60 hours. It all depends on what is going on. Vacations are scheduled around the work. If my supplier is going to deliver in the midst of a holiday weekend, then I''m working. On the other hand, I take quite a few three day weekends when things are slower.

If I could change one thing about my work it would be more flexibility in start time. I''m not really a morning person and I do need to be in around 7am.

 

[zoebartlett]

I'm definitely a work-to-live type of person. I love working with kids and I've always felt a connection to them. I love that aspect of my job. Sure, there are ups and downs to it, but I do love my work. I've spent the last few summers being pretty lazy (well, not working), but I used to teach summer school. Since I've had my own classroom, though, I found that I need time away over the summer.

During the school year, I'm pretty busy every day. I usually get to work early in the morning so that I can leave as early as possible once school is over in the afternoon. I take work home but I try to get as much done before I leave. I'm a firm believer that you can work hard and then leave it behind and focus on your personal life when the day is over.

I have no idea what type of job I'd have if I lived to work. Hmmm...


ETA: Slightly off-topic: I will say that one thing that I don't like about my profession is that I can't choose when to take a vacation. I will always be paying the highest airfares, etc. because the only time I can take a vacation is during school vacation weeks. I'm not sure what it would be like to take a vacation at the beginning of September. I can't complain too much though, because I do get a lot of time off compared to others in different fields.

 

[Elmorton]

DH works a 40 hour week, usually 10 or 11am - 6 or 7pm, and my schedule mimics a college student''s (full load of classes, plus office hours, some tutoring), so it varies quite a bit. DH''s work rarely comes home - he''s written from our house once or twice when on deadline and sometimes the editing desk will call to clarify something, but that''s the extent of it. I teach writing, so in addition to some grading, I often "carry" my work with me a little more than DH does. I grew up in a household of teachers though, so reflecting on classroom (and out-of-classroom) situations was pretty much what my parents talked about at home- so maybe it''s less of the profession and more what my family modeled? I don''t know.

Anyway, because DH and I don''t typically work 9-5, we get to spend a lot of random time together that most couples don''t, so from a schedule perspective, it would seem that we''re work-to-live people. I wouldn''t call us workaholics, and I would definitely say that we both value our home life and our family and friends over work. On that same note though, both of us love our jobs and love to work. Whenever I read posts from the PS SAHM contingent, I have a hard time imagining what my life would be like if I concentrated solely on my family. My work is consuming but also incredibly rewarding, and I''d have a hard time leaving it, even if it meant being able to experience more with my family. DH and I have often discussed how we could probably make a lot more with our skills in different sectors, and I think if I worked in a job outside of teaching, I would definitely be a work-to-live sort. But, as I believe very strongly in the idea of vocation (in the sense of being called to fulfill a purpose), I feel as if I''m a live-to-work kind of person.

So...I suppose that''s a really long response to say that in my household, we''re a mix of work-to-live and live-to-work.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 8/11/2008 7:50:51 PM
Author: Elmorton
Whenever I read posts from the PS SAHM contingent, I have a hard time imagining what my life would be like if I concentrated solely on my family.

I''m a SAHM and only some moms soley concentrate on family. . .many moms have hobbies or are lucky enough to have nannies! lol Unfortunely, I AM stuck watching my kids and making their meals and never have had time to persue many hobbies.

I do not feel I truely "work" or "live" right at this point in time, but hopefully will do both in the fall when my kids start school. It would be nice to find a niche to work into that will develop my laten passions which went into hybernation when I had kids. Going back to school would be best, but then again, I have NO idea what my interests are and school loans are expensive.

 

[musey]

I don't feel either statement describes me. My job feels more like a hobby, so I'm not work-to-live, BUT it's not all-consuming--I would leave it for my husband/family if need be--so I'm not live-to-work either.

It's work, don't get me wrong, some very long hours and tiring days. It's the kind of job that you HAVE to love in order to do it, because it'll rip some people to shreds.... but I do thoroughly enjoy it and find it quite rewarding.

 

[Haven]

I''ve spent a lot of time thinking about this lately, actually. I feel like I "live to work" during the school year, and I just "live" during the summers because I don''t have to work. (I teach high school students.) I make the most out of all the free time I have because it is so precious to me, but I want more of it.

My work is extremely fulfilling, but the problem is that I would not be doing a fabulous job as a teacher if I spent less time working at it during the school year. Standing up in front of my classes for five hours a day is the easy part, it''s the grading and preparing and researching that takes up all my time. And I refuse to be one of those mediocre teachers. Herein lies the problem, because I''ve also decided that I refuse to deprive myself of a "life" too.

I do not want to "live to work" during the school year anymore. I spent a few weeks this summer looking at job openings, and entertained the idea of leaving my career for a less demanding yet equally satisfying job. I didn''t find a job that I''d leave my career for, but I''m still looking for it. My hubby is completely supportive, and he hasn''t even given me grief about wasting the two master''s degrees I''ve earned as an educator.

I grew up with neighbors who once told me that they made the choice to have "jobs" and not "careers" because their lives outside of work are more important than anything else. I didn''t understand what they meant until recently.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. This has just been on my mind and I''m feeling very unsettled about my current career.

 

[meresal]

I "live for the weekend", and my 9-5 keeps me busy while I''m waiting for all my friends and FI to get off work!!

When I was playing golf, I lived to "work". It was a passion.

 

[iheartscience]

Hmmm...I think I'm in the middle. I LOVE my job, but I also HATE doing anything for it when I'm not at work. I like my home time to be home time! Sometimes on my days off I don't even answer my phone if it's my work number calling!

But I will always go the extra mile at work, and when I travel to NYC, Vegas and LA for appointments or tradeshows I bust my a$$! I don't stop-we go from 8 am until at least 11 pm most days.

I really do love going to work! I love my boss and almost all of the other employees and we have so much fun! Some weeks are super busy but I just try to put it into perspective-I'm just picking out clothes! Not exactly life or death!

 

[katamari]

Date: 8/11/2008 9:25:02 PM
Author: Haven
It''s the grading and preparing and researching that takes up all my time. And I refuse to be one of those mediocre teachers.

Haven: I hear you! I am a PhD student, but I teach classes as part of my funding arrangement. I love teaching (and I actually enjoy the course preps because it connects me to my discipline). I loathe grading. However, I am able to put it into perspective because students can learn a lot from grading if you grade well. And, that can be rewarding! But it certainly feels mundane and under appreciated (especially when they get the paper you spent good time on and just flip to the number and toss it into their bags. . . sigh).

Your job is terribly important, though, and hopefully that can get you through. I am sorry you are feeling the need to leave. Compulsory education actually has tremendously high turnover (as I am sure you know) so it must be very difficult. I also only have about 60 students a quarter and couldn''t imagine teaching more than two sections of a course (which I assume you have to do). Good luck to you! Know we are fully supporting your decisions.

To everyone else: I probably live to work. But, short of grading, I LOVE what I do and feel grateful when I am working. It is very hard for me to stop and I can''t imagine a life where I am not bringing my work home. Of course, I have a really flexible schedule and a lot of autonomy, and that really helps. Plus, working toward my PhD gives me a tangible goal. When I was in the ''real world'' I hated just doing tasks without sight of a goal and being told when and where to work. When I was in that situation, I was definitely working to live.

 

[Dee*Jay]

I absolutely LOVE what I do!!! I am a real estate agent and I can't imagine what I would do with my time if I wasn't helping people find a home. Even if I won the lottery tomorrow (which would be one helluva shocker since I don't even buy a ticket!) I would still do this. The HH on the other hand would happily tell his boss to *shove it* if he had the winning ticket in hand...

 

[niccia]

Definitely live to work ...I enjoy working pretty much more than anything else I do during the day. It can be stressful by day's end though, so I am usually looking forward to a break by 4 pm, but I'm always ready to go again the next morning. My fiance always teases me about not being made for manual labour and says that if anyone could find a way to make a living sitting on their bottom it would be me

 

[Tuckins1]

I am a teacher, so I feel like I kind of do both... (I am a special ed teacher and I am passionate about helping my students), but I do love to live and spend my money on fun things, like jewels and doing fun things with my husband. So, I guess i''m a "work to live" person.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I work to live...because I don''t make enough to do very much as it is. Unless we save up over time, we usually don''t have a lot of free cash. Right now we are building a savings for a vacation so we don''t have hardly any free cash...and when we DO get it, we tend to spend it fast heh.

I can''t tell you how much I wish I was making the money so many of you ladies make.

 

[Rhea]

Work to live.

I work 7 hours a day - 35 hours a week. If I work over that then the time is caculated in to my timesheet and must be taken as time off since we don''t get paid overtime. I must take my overtime time by the time I get 3 days so it can''t add up too much. I also get 6 weeks of vacation day each year plus national 8 holidays.

 

[gailrmv]

I've had a job at each end of the spectrum and was surprised that neither suited me. The happiest I've been was while working part time and going to grad school full time - I loved the variety, autonomy and challenge.

If I had to pick I'd say definitely work to live. But I think with the right job that I was truly passionate about, I don't think I'd mind long hours at the office.

 

[allikatac]

Date: 8/11/2008 9:25:02 PM
Author: Haven
I''ve spent a lot of time thinking about this lately, actually. I feel like I ''live to work'' during the school year, and I just ''live'' during the summers because I don''t have to work. (I teach high school students.) I make the most out of all the free time I have because it is so precious to me, but I want more of it.

My work is extremely fulfilling, but the problem is that I would not be doing a fabulous job as a teacher if I spent less time working at it during the school year. Standing up in front of my classes for five hours a day is the easy part, it''s the grading and preparing and researching that takes up all my time. And I refuse to be one of those mediocre teachers. Herein lies the problem, because I''ve also decided that I refuse to deprive myself of a ''life'' too.

I do not want to ''live to work'' during the school year anymore. I spent a few weeks this summer looking at job openings, and entertained the idea of leaving my career for a less demanding yet equally satisfying job. I didn''t find a job that I''d leave my career for, but I''m still looking for it. My hubby is completely supportive, and he hasn''t even given me grief about wasting the two master''s degrees I''ve earned as an educator.

I grew up with neighbors who once told me that they made the choice to have ''jobs'' and not ''careers'' because their lives outside of work are more important than anything else. I didn''t understand what they meant until recently.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. This has just been on my mind and I''m feeling very unsettled about my current career.

Haven pretty much summed up my thoughts to a T. Being a teacher, it is difficult not to ''live to work'' and I feel each year the job becomes more demanding and stressful. I really love what I do, but I want to ''work to live''. A ''job'' that I could leave at the office sounds so appealing....

 

[Haven]

I thought of this thread today at work because the kids came back to school today and at least 50 former students found me to say hi and tell me all about their summer. Today was a GREAT day at work for me, and it reminded me of why I love my job so much at times--the fabulous students.

But I still wish it was less demanding on my time during the school year. I''m working on finding a happy medium.

 

[katamari]

Yay! Glad to hear that you had a great first day back, Haven!

 

[LuckyTexan]

I am 95% of the time just a normal SAHM.
I also have my own small business, which only occupies about 4 hours of my week...

I sometimes feel like women who work, and are moms have issue with how I live.

I can''t put my finger on it. I don''t know if it''s jealousy, or pity, or what... maybe they think I''m lazy?

I will readily admit that I have days when my kids go down for naps at the same time, and I sneak a little nanna nap of my own!

In the same token though, there are many nights that I get to sit up with a crying, teething baby, for 3 or 4 hours... then wake up 3 hours later and have to chase my toddler all day... while holding that same crying teething baby!!!

My husband works anywhere between 40 and 70 hours a week. He''s usually home by dinner. He is senior level management, and sometimes has the task of baby sitting the people who get their hands dirty... that said... he gets his dirty sometimes too!

I worked full time until I got pregnant with my first son, and we had always planned that I would be a SAHM. It was a choice we both made together, based on several factors.

I can honestly say. Going to work everyday and coming home to my house that hardly needed cleaning was MUCH EASIER!!!

WE work to live. My husband talks to me in text and IM all day. We webcam during his lunch hour so he can see the boys. We do everything together when he''s not working.

We definately aren''t workaholics!!! Family and personal interests are way higher priority in my house!

 

[bee*]

I''m kind of a bit of both. I adore my job as a veterinary nurse at the moment, and cannot wait to qualify in a few years and be a vet. I work quite long hours but seeing and helping all the animals definitely make up for that. I couldn''t imagine doing anything else and I do enjoy going into work every day. Obviously I enjoy my free time also but I could never give up work.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 8/11/2008 9:25:02 PM
Author: Haven
I''ve spent a lot of time thinking about this lately, actually. I feel like I ''live to work'' during the school year, and I just ''live'' during the summers because I don''t have to work. (I teach high school students.) I make the most out of all the free time I have because it is so precious to me, but I want more of it.


My work is extremely fulfilling, but the problem is that I would not be doing a fabulous job as a teacher if I spent less time working at it during the school year. Standing up in front of my classes for five hours a day is the easy part, it''s the grading and preparing and researching that takes up all my time. And I refuse to be one of those mediocre teachers. Herein lies the problem, because I''ve also decided that I refuse to deprive myself of a ''life'' too.


I do not want to ''live to work'' during the school year anymore. I spent a few weeks this summer looking at job openings, and entertained the idea of leaving my career for a less demanding yet equally satisfying job. I didn''t find a job that I''d leave my career for, but I''m still looking for it. My hubby is completely supportive, and he hasn''t even given me grief about wasting the two master''s degrees I''ve earned as an educator.


I grew up with neighbors who once told me that they made the choice to have ''jobs'' and not ''careers'' because their lives outside of work are more important than anything else. I didn''t understand what they meant until recently.


Anyway, sorry for rambling on. This has just been on my mind and I''m feeling very unsettled about my current career.

I feel the same way you do about life during the school year, Haven. I tend to ''live to work'' as well because I wnat to be the best teacher I can be, not someone who just shows up to collect a paycheck. Out of curiosity, what other fields were you thinking of looking into?

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 8/12/2008 4:06:20 PM
Author: TanDogMom
I''ve had a job at each end of the spectrum and was surprised that neither suited me. The happiest I''ve been was while working part time and going to grad school full time - I loved the variety, autonomy and challenge.

If I had to pick I''d say definitely work to live. But I think with the right job that I was truly passionate about, I don''t think I''d mind long hours at the office.

I did this as well in my first year of grad school, and I loved it for all the same reasons you mentioned.

This may sound silly, but I also loved being able to get in the car and go somewhere in the middle of the day. You can''t do that when you''re in charge of a classroom of kids. A few of my friends work for several schools (either as a consultant, a reading specialist, etc.) and they tavel back and forth when needed. I love that idea -- having a few minutes of freedom sounds heavenly.