Do you let fate guide you?

[Indylady]

Do you let fate guide you? Or do you set goals, and keep at them?

I know that most people must be a bit of both. Personally, I do like to set goals, but if life tugs me another way, I''m completely willing to go with the flow. I''ll fight for major things that I''m seriously dedicated to, like family or my SO. I''m pretty relaxed about most other things though, and I do allow fate to guide me a fair amount.

What about you? Any examples?

 

[Haven]

What do you mean by allowing fate to guide you? Do you mean that you take opportunities as they arise? Look for signs and follow them? Just go with the flow and see where it takes you?

I don't know whether this would be labeled as following fate or something else, but I make all of my decisions based on what is the best choice for the life I'd like to live. The path that will provide the most fulfillment and the least stress is what will make *me* happy, so that's what I always choose. This affects big decisions (e.g. I left my high school teaching career to teach at a community college) and small decisions (e.g. I have no problem declining invitations to go out if I do not feel like socializing at that moment.)

I have no idea whether that's letting fate guide me, but I typically like to think that I make conscious choices in life, and that sounds like the opposite of letting faith guide me. Not sure, though!

I just want to be happy, and I support that pursuit with all of the choices I make.

 

[elrohwen]

I''m usually fairly laid back and go-with-the-flow, but I don''t consider any of it "fate".

And for larger things (education, jobs, DH, etc) I absolutely make plans and mostly stick to them.

 

[mrscushion]

I do not believe in fate, nor do I believe at all in the common saying, "everything happens for a reason."

However, I do not always (necessarily) stick to the plans I''ve set for myself. Professionally, I keep my eyes open for opportunities, and when I find them, I''m willing to take risks. Personally, I pretty much know what makes me happy, so I try to follow whatever course that guidance may take me on.

 

[gwendolyn]

Nope, I don''t believe in fate. I have had to fight and work very hard for the things most important to me, and if I had listened to outside influences rather than myself, I would not be where I am now. And I''m very happy with where I am right now.

 

[yssie]

I'm not a go-with-the-flow person at all - I pretty much always have a Plan and I'll work however much it takes to fulfill it. I don't always handle it well when for whatever reason something gets in the way... FI is wonderful about calming me down and getting me to see the big picture.

So I guess that's a "no" to the question

 

[iheartscience]

Yeah, I actually sort of do let fate guide me. Things just seem to kind of come together for me. I mean obviously my choices and hard work make a difference, but I am also somewhat of a believer in "Everything happens for a reason." I guess I do the same as you, Indy-I set goals but I also let life tug me another way.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I guess a bit of both.

I recognize I can''t control everything or everyone so I tend to do the best that I can and let what happens happen. However, I have goals and I have aspirations that I don''t just push aside just because I think maybe it isn''t my fate. Again, for me, it''s situations I can control versus situations I can not control. I also realize that even if I can control one part of a situation there could be a result or a series of results that I can not control. Some might say that recognizing I can''t control everything means I do leave a certain portion of what happens up to fate.

 

[Indylady]

Date: 5/6/2010 3:07:41 PM
Author: Haven
What do you mean by allowing fate to guide you? Do you mean that you take opportunities as they arise? Look for signs and follow them? Just go with the flow and see where it takes you?


I don''t know whether this would be labeled as following fate or something else, but I make all of my decisions based on what is the best choice for the life I''d like to live. The path that will provide the most fulfillment and the least stress is what will make *me* happy, so that''s what I always choose. This affects big decisions (e.g. I left my high school teaching career to teach at a community college) and small decisions (e.g. I have no problem declining invitations to go out if I do not feel like socializing at that moment.)


I have no idea whether that''s letting fate guide me, but I typically like to think that I make conscious choices in life, and that sounds like the opposite of letting faith guide me. Not sure, though!


I just want to be happy, and I support that pursuit with all of the choices I make.

The closest way I can describe what I mean is through an example:
My friend S has wanted to go to law school for some time. She tried hard, and took the LSAT three times in a row (which is the max for a 2 year span), and did pretty poorly each time. She''s gotten into one school, a private, independent law school that is unaffiliated with a university. She also applied to graduate programs in clinical psychology (her major and another serious interest for her), and got into a great program and waitisted at another amazing school. I think I would have taken it to mean that life was guiding me towards the psychology program; its a strong program, more affordable, and the return seems greater as well. I think its also easy for me to say because I''m outside of the situation and can think "rationally," but it surprised me that she''s still strongly considering this less than stellar law school. Its been her dream for a long time, and I really respect that. But, it made me wonder if we view life, and life choices, somewhat differently.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am not sure I quite understand the question but I consider myself a spiritual person. I believe there is a plan and I have faith that things in any given situation will work out. I do feel I have responsibility to put the work in. I have to be a good person which means cultivating my physical, emotional and spiritual health. I also believe that the signs are there (always) which could be explained by fate or a power greater than myself. It is my job to follow them and get my ego and will out of the way.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''m in general a go with the flow type person.I''m not one to have a life plan or anything like that so I guess that''s letting fate guide me?

 

[somethingshiny]

I make goals and plans but if/when they don''t go as anticipated I easily reevaluate and reorganize. A couple things I believe are "you''re only given as much as you can handle" and "everything will work out."

I would say prayer/God pretty much guide me. I look for answers through prayer and often felt lead in one direction versus another. Then I make the choice to follow or go against that direction.

 

[zoebartlett]

I took your question to mean whether or not you let things happen as they may, or whether or not you go with the flow. I''m not a go-with-the-flow kind of person at all in my personal life. I always need to make plans, and even if I''m just hanging out at home watching something, my mind usually races. I wish I was more laid-back though.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Considering I'm suppose to be packing and instead am on PS and later plan to watch episodes of the Tudors, I'd say I'm NOT at all goal oriented. . .Well, my goal has been to pack one room per day and I've kept up with that, so many not too bad. The whole house should have been packed by now, but sorting through stuff is a PITB.

Not sure about fate.

ETA - about "going with the flow," THAT I am not. I like things to be laid out before me. My BIGGEST pet peeve is if a person says they're coming to stay with us (we enjoy having friends/family stay with us - so no biggie) but they do not tell us how long they're staying. I have to know the exact days! I am also really big on punctuality. Does that have anything to do with the question? Probably not. People who do not show up on time annoy me. hahaha They better not use "fate" as an excuse for showing up 1 hour late.

 

[JSM]

Good question. I guess both. I have goals and try to acheive them, but sometimes that doesn''t happen, and that is life.

I don''t know if I believe in the "things happen for a reason" mantra, but sometimes in life we get gut feelings. If I follow them, things usually happen the way I want them to. Are these gut feelings fate leading me on the right path? My subconscious screaming at me not to make a bad decision? I don''t know, but I''ve learned to listen!

The most recent example was last year. After graduation with my MS, I found myself unemployed with few job prospects, and almost immediately after DH got laid off. It was a dark time and I threw myself into job hunting. After a period of NO offers, I had one for a position in a town DH and I had dreamed of living. But even though the interview went well, and I was offered the job, my gut just screamed at me that it was NOT the right place for us. DH was upset that I turned down the offer, especially since it was my only one and we were both unemployed, but some part of me knew that it was the wrong decision (though I fretted for weeks).

A few weeks later I received multiple offers in three other states, and made the decision on where to go based on the interview, the neighborhood, the salary, and my gut. It was absolutely the right thing to do. DH landed the perfect job for his career, I love my job, and we love the city, even though it''s not where we thought we would end up. But I''m not sure if this was fate, luck, good decision making, or a combination of all of the above.

This was an unnecessarily long way of saying, "maybe I do..."

 

[KittyGolightly]

I don''t believe in fate. But then, if it really exists, fate probably doesn''t care if I believe in it or not.

 

[lulu]

I think that my happiness now is the cumulative result of decisions I made.

 

[miraclesrule]

I think most humans are a combination of both "fate" and "free will". I interpret fate as innate situation one is born into and finds themselves in as they reach adulthood. There is not a lot conscious control one can exert over their life circumstances. There are exceptions, of course, yet familial influences can be extremely powerful in shaping ones life direction.

On the other hand, once one hits the freedom of adulthood, it''s "ride or be ridden". I do a little bit of both. There are times that I want control of the wheel, times I want to be driven, and times that I don''t want to get in the car.

Oh that reminds me. I need to make myself go to gym, because fate isn''t going to make the scale move itself.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I don''t believe in fate, I believe our lives are our creations and we don''t have to be controlling of others to manipulate our own successes. I don''t believe in blocking people or stepping on people, but I do tend to hold my fingertips in a tight point and dive through life. I think I am excellent at doing this though I don''t know that I am pragmatic enough to jot down my "goals" and work through them. When they''re short term like that I can be lazy or procrastinating, but I never leave things to fate... if I don''t do something it''s BECAUSE I didn''t do it, not because that was fate. I do not believe in predetermination for things that can be controlled.

 

[oddoneout]

I use rationality and instinct.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I''m a combo of both. I like to set goals and achieve them, but I also think that things happen for a reason. For example, a few years ago DH and I were renting a house from a relative who passed while we were living there. We were set to buy the house from his estate, but one of DH''s aunt made it difficult for us to do that. We ended up moving out and in with DH''s parents to save some money. Little did we know, a short time after we moved out a noisy bar with a smoking patio facing the house moved in next door. It would have been awful living there and we were so lucky to get out of there when we did. While living with DH''s parents we saved enough money to buy our own place in a desireable neighborhood and with plenty of kids for DS to play with. If DH''s aunt hadn''t made it so hard to buy that house we would have been stuck there.

I am a person of faith and pray daily but do not go to church regularly. I have worked hard for the things that I have and I''m generally happy with my life. I take things as they come, but I also like to have some sort of idea of what direction I''m going in. I''m a worrier by nature so I have to remind myself that I cannot control every little thing that happens.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I am of the "everything happens for a reason" I truly believe that God (not fate) is guiding me in the best way possible to live my life

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/6/2010 9:43:24 PM
Author: oddoneout
I use rationality and instinct.

I should have just said this.

 

[innerkitten]

I don''t really believe in fate.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/6/2010 5:19:50 PM
Author: IndyLady
The closest way I can describe what I mean is through an example:

My friend S has wanted to go to law school for some time. She tried hard, and took the LSAT three times in a row (which is the max for a 2 year span), and did pretty poorly each time. She's gotten into one school, a private, independent law school that is unaffiliated with a university. She also applied to graduate programs in clinical psychology (her major and another serious interest for her), and got into a great program and waitisted at another amazing school. I think I would have taken it to mean that life was guiding me towards the psychology program; its a strong program, more affordable, and the return seems greater as well. I think its also easy for me to say because I'm outside of the situation and can think 'rationally,' but it surprised me that she's still strongly considering this less than stellar law school. Its been her dream for a long time, and I really respect that. But, it made me wonder if we view life, and life choices, somewhat differently.

Thank you for the example, IndyLady.

SO, are you saying that you would give up a future in your dream career because you gained admittance to a program of higher esteem in a different field AND because you'd take your difficulties in gaining admittance into an esteemed program in your dream career as a sign that fate has something else in store for you?

 

[HopeDream]

Maybe fate guides me, but I do believe we make our own destinies. I''m also a firm believer in a higher power.

I''ve noticed that when I''m pursuing what I''m truly excited about and want to do, things are easy and doors open all over the place. When I''m pursuing goals out of obligation and diligence to others but not something my heart is in, often it''s a struggle every step of the way and inconvieniently difficult things seem to happen for no particular reason.

Currently I''ve hit a bit of a rough patch because I don''t quite know what I want to do, or what my next step is. I feel in limbo, so I''m waiting for inspiration.

The only difference between an amature and a genius is 10,000 hrs of practice (8 hrs a day for 3 years). What would you do if you knew that you were only 3 years from brilliance? Why aren''t you doing it now?