Do you know EVERYTHING about your SO??

[SailorsSweet<3]

Date: 2/5/2009 8:54:05 PM
Author: news_girl
I don't know everything about my SO and I personally enjoy it that way. We've been dating for 3 years and I know his secrets, quirks and habits. I can impersonate him pretty well and I can recite all the major details of his life, but those things alone do not mean our relationship is any more intimate than another. I say this because I do NOT think you should be upset with yourself for not knowing about FI's colorblindness. It was his responsibility to tell you, and I would go as far as saying that he should have defended you to his friends when they criticized you because the fault was his. You couldn't have known about it if he'd been dodging or concealing it, so it was his bad that you were in that position. Hopefully those naysayers will stop being so rude, but if they don't...screw 'em. Your happiness is yours alone to decide. If your FI is absolutely happy with you and vice versa, that's all that matters.

exactly. I think his reaction to you not knowing is the most unsettling part about it all. Regardless of who feels they know everything about their SO and who doesnt, being in that situation we wouldve all felt the same way

Im just surprised it hasnt come up, I dont understand why he would hide it. Its not anything to be ashamed of or anything serious. How long have you two been together?

 

[KatM]

his friend sound like jerks. i bet there are plenty of things you know about him that they don''t, just because of the nature of the relationship. they shouldnt assume they know anything about your relationship with him.

i know i dont know everything about SO. I am always interested in learning more, but I am ok not knowing everything right now.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 2/5/2009 1:25:42 PM
Author:ams0124
Do you think you know everything about your SO that there is to know?

I came across somthing about that I had no idea about (litterally NO IDEA) but all his friends knew and it made me so sad

I found out a couple days ago that FI is color blind

I was literally knocked backwards twice!! I had nooooo idea and would have bet money that he wasn''t if someone would have asked me. We were at a friend''s house when I asked him to grab my coat from the bedroom when he was grabbing his. He asked me ''Which one is it?'' I said ''It''s the black puffy one''....He comes back with another girls brown puffy jacket

...I kinda looked at him and like an idiot I said jokingly ''What are you color blind?'' All of his friends just look at me like ''what a b**ch''...FI looks at me with this look and says ''Yeah actually I am''

...I felt horrible, and then to make things worse one of FI''s friends says ''you have his ring on your finger and you didn''t even know he was color blind?'' I didn''t even have a response...

I know that we haven''t been together for a very long time in relation to most of the relationships here...so I get that certain things come with time, but the whole thing made me question if it''s normal to not know certain things about your SO...and I''m not talking about behavior things...I know what makes FI mad or happy...I can read his face and know when he''s had a bad day or want''s to talk about something....I''m talking more about physical traits like being color blind

.

Do you know everything about your SO?

Well then, why not ask "You put this ring on her finger and you didn''t even tell her you''re colour blind?" Sounds like a fair enough question to me.

OK, his friends were surprised, I get it, but what that has to do with your engagement? You''re obliged to know every little detail of his life before you can wear his ring? Then maybe the conversation should proceed with something like "You have his ring on your finger and you didn''t even know he had a hamster as a kid?" Or maybe "You have his ring on your finger and you didn''t even know he fell off his bike when he was five and cut his knee?"

His friend is a jerk. Period. I wouldn''t feel bad about it.

I understand why you might be upset that your FI didn''t tell you but the truth is we can never learn absolutely everything about our SO. And I think that''s a beautiful thing. Just think about it-if your SO manages to surprise you after, say, 50 years of marriage, life would never get boring, right?

 

[Steel]

I see how it was a shock and a little bit embarrassing.

It might be best to sit down with him and let him know how you felt. Ask him if there is anything else you might need to know.

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

Date: 2/5/2009 1:25:42 PM
Author:ams0124
Do you think you know everything about your SO that there is to know?

I came across somthing about that I had no idea about (litterally NO IDEA) but all his friends knew and it made me so sad

I found out a couple days ago that FI is color blind

I was literally knocked backwards twice!! I had nooooo idea and would have bet money that he wasn't if someone would have asked me. We were at a friend's house when I asked him to grab my coat from the bedroom when he was grabbing his. He asked me 'Which one is it?' I said 'It's the black puffy one'....He comes back with another girls brown puffy jacket

...I kinda looked at him and like an idiot I said jokingly 'What are you color blind?' All of his friends just look at me like 'what a b**ch'...FI looks at me with this look and says 'Yeah actually I am'

...I felt horrible, and then to make things worse one of FI's friends says 'you have his ring on your finger and you didn't even know he was color blind?' I didn't even have a response...

I have been with my Husband for 15 years (only married 1.5 years, so I was really a LIW), and I have known him for almost 30 and I still don't know EVERYTHING about him. Who cares! There are probably things about me, that have never come up. There's always something about our mates that we may not know. His friends comments sound very childish, like maybe since you and your SO fell in love so quickly and their lifelong friend now chooses you over them all the time, they are bitter. Moving away from his friends and closer to you is a natural progression for a man in love. They are probably jealous that you stole their friend. He must have been Ga Ga over you to have moved you in after 3 months. Don't worry about it. Like I said, it sounded like the friend was trying to make a childish jab over the fact that you got their friend to drop all sorts of dough on you for the ring, when you don't even, in their opinion, know him. They need to give your man more credit, he is not some love sick puppy being taken advantage of. If they don't watch out, when you "clean house" of all the crappy friends he has, they will be first on the list to be dropped. (if it was that important to him for you to know he was color blind he would have mentioned it sooner) And quite honestly, it sounds like he is only slightly color blind, so it's not like it's a handicap to him, only an inconvenience at times.