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Do you have a will?

Rae~

Rae~

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2005
Messages
291
... and how recently was it updated?

Have you updated it since the last major life event?

Did it cost much to make/update? (Feel free to not answer that if you don't want to.)

Did you have any (internal) conflict when making it? ie were any of the decisions difficult?

Did you make out your will in conjunction with your wife/husband/partner? Do you know what is in your w/h/p's will?

Sorry for all the questions. (Probably obviously) I am going through a will-making process at the moment, and I am curious to hear others' experiences/thoughts.
 
Do I have a will? No.

Should I have a will? Yes.

I'm keen to see how others respond as this is something DH and I have been meaning to do for the last 18 months.
 
DH and I made a will a few months after DD#1 was born. If you have children, you owe it to them to get a will. My cousin and his wife spent over $120k in a legal battle to obtain custody of my cousins wife's twin sisters baby after both parents were killed in a car accident. There was no will and the husbands family who never acknowledged the marriage or the baby all of a sudden wanted custody. The worst part was that the baby was put into temporary foster care until my cousin and his wife were named temporary guardians.

DH and my will are virtually identical. We really don't have any out of the ordinary savings/retirement/investments. We are each others beneficiary, and in the event that we die, our estate is to be divided equally among all natural children born of our relationship, or adopted. Most importantly it identifies guardianship for our children in the event we both die.

Cost was between $300 and $500. Not exactly sure because we did a bunch of other forms along with it; medical directive, living will, power of attorney, etc. Total for each of us was around $1200.

My parents just updated their 30year old will, although the attorney said it really wasn't necessary. In my experience, they don't need to be updated unless there is a significant financial change or a change in marital status, both divorce and remarriage.

The biggest problems that I see with wills are people not discussing them. I would not be married to someone who did not disclose their will to me. Also, after you make the will you need to discuss it with pertinent family and friends so that there are no surprises after you die. If everyone already knows where the kids and the money go hopefully there will be less disagreement. Because lets face it, people get crazy after a loss.
 
Yes, after child #3. #4 is now 22 and we haven't updated yet, but he is still included under "future issue".
 
We have a will and had one drawn up within the first year of our marriage. We are each other's beneficiary. In the event we die together our siblings and nieces/nephew are the beneficiaries with specific percentages. We updated our wills a few years after we originally did them when my sister had children. All of my jewelry goes to my darling nieces (my sister's children). We also have living wills as well as powers of attorney for each other. It didn't cost us anything because we had my dh's firm draw everything up for us but it would have cost us around 10K (according to my dh) if we had to pay them. He worked for a very costly and high powered law firm back in the day.

ETA: My parents updated their wills when the grandchildren were born to include them. I agree that wills need to be updated when new circumstances arise (like the birth of children).
 
No, we own no property and have no children. We do have savings and I assume that should he die it'd go to me, and if I die it'd go to him. It doesn't seem necessary to have a will since we don't have anything of value.
 
Yes I have a will and so does SO. Both were done at the same time and updated a couple of years ago. I need to go back through them and update again as we just had a major event in life a few months ago.

Last major life event was just a few months ago. We're currently in the process of updating all documents.

It cost us about $75.00 to make 2 wills, 2 general durable powers of attorney, and 2 medical powers of attorney. We have an attorney we work with regularly so he just charged us his hourly rate. I kept prices down by finding a template online and typing up our own documents. The attorney fixed all of the legal language and made sure it had all of the important bits covered then sent back to me for revisions. We did 95% of this over e-mail and only went in person for the final signing/notarization. (we've been working for this attorney for a long time so I'm not sure if others would do it this way. I also have experience in life insurance and investing so I've seen lots of the legal paperwork and know what to look for.)

No internal conflicts. Everything was pretty easy to decide.

I have a will and SO has a will. He told me what he wanted in his will and I got it typed up and sent to the attorney. SO just had to read through and give the final okay.
 
Yes we do, and coincidentally to your topic, we are reviewing it for changes right now. Our children are grown, so we will make our eldest our executor and give her power of attorney over our medical concerns. We have the living will clause about no extraordinary life prolonging via mechanical means under specific circumstances. She won't have to really make a decision, it will have been made by us individually in advance. It only costs us about $300 for a will, not a huge amount at all.
 
We need to make a will. I thought I wouldn't need it unless we bought a house or had children, but I have realised that we do own things of value: 2 cars, a motorbike, a lot of jewellery, significant savings. Heck, I even have designer and vintage handbags and clothes, that have great resale value, plus a huge amount of gadgets! So we need to get this sorted (along with an advance directive aka a living will).
 
justginger|1355469938|3331020 said:
Do I have a will? No.

Should I have a will? Yes.

I'm keen to see how others respond as this is something DH and I have been meaning to do for the last 18 months.
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Ditto to Ginger!

We've spoken about our wishes to my mom and sister, and up until now our only concerns have been about rehoming our precious furbabies. My amazing mom promises that she will take all five of them in the event that we both die before her. We really do need to create a will, though, especially now that we're expecting a child.
 
We don't, but I think we need to. Maybe this will be a New Year's resolution?!

We would likely just do one will, not individual wills. If we die in a concurrent event, I want my sister to get as much as possible. She's my secondary beneficiary on everything of value, specifically retirement and life insurance policies.

The problem is DH's mom, because she has to keep her assets below a certain level in order to keep her govt. benefits. She's technically disabled and is poor enough to be on the state's health care program for lower-income folks, a sliding scale of payment. If she inherited half of our money/stuff/life insurance, she should be able to buy her own healthcare until Medicare kicks in. I wish we could set up a trust for her with a really responsible person in charge of it.

I really, REALLY wish my DH knew what was in his grandmother's will. She is 86 and had a horrible experience getting her will changed, so she won't talk about it. Her children (including DH's mom) are already arguing about the inheritance. :rolleyes: Two of her kids are responsible, working adults, and the other two... not so much. The responsible ones don't need the money, but irresponsible ones would likely fritter it away.
 
I don't remember the details but our will is set up as a trust for maximum protection. I do remember our will is many many many pages long and was very complicated to do. It's like a small book lol.
 
We need to make one. I can make one for free through some legal help thing provided by my company. We were going to do a joint will, but I was advised that it's better to have two separate (but identical) wills. Any thoughts on this? All we would need it to say is that we are beneficiaries to each other, and then stating who would get our kiddo if something happened to both of us.
 
amc80|1355502048|3331256 said:
We need to make one. I can make one for free through some legal help thing provided by my company. We were going to do a joint will, but I was advised that it's better to have two separate (but identical) wills. Any thoughts on this? All we would need it to say is that we are beneficiaries to each other, and then stating who would get our kiddo if something happened to both of us.
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Sorry I am fuzzy on the details as to why but we have separate wills and they complement each other.
 
missy|1355504219|3331273 said:
amc80|1355502048|3331256 said:
We need to make one. I can make one for free through some legal help thing provided by my company. We were going to do a joint will, but I was advised that it's better to have two separate (but identical) wills. Any thoughts on this? All we would need it to say is that we are beneficiaries to each other, and then stating who would get our kiddo if something happened to both of us.
Click to expand...

Sorry I am fuzzy on the details as to why but we have separate wills and they complement each other.
Click to expand...

I *think* it was something about how if you have a joint will, it doesn't go into effect unless both parties die.
 
we have a revocable trust and will. a revocable trust is better just in case one of our daughter married a devil... :bigsmile:
 
Yes we have a will and it was updated several days after our 2nd child was born. My DH Is military so there is always a chance of something happened to him or both of us. Regardless we did it to make sure that our children are well taken care of. Our Will was actually free as it is a benefit of being military. You can go to the Legal department on your base and draw up the paperwork. They make it very easy and painless for you. We discussed everything in advance and were on the same sheet of music before we even went in.

In regards to the joint will. I have never heard of that. I do know that in most wills it works so if 1 spouse dies the remaining spouse will get everything. Then if that person dies everything will go to the children. It just matters how you word everything. I think it is pretty pointless to pay for 2 wills.
 
Not yet. New Year's Resolution!

Our life insurance does outline many things. And we have a power of attorney/living will.
 
Yes. And power of attorney and advanced directives for end of life care.
First when we were married, then amended when my daughter was born.
 
I had drafted a will, power of attorney, and "Living Will" in 1990, and ensured that a trusted family member had access to appropriate copies.

This year I got married - and replaced all of my previous documents with a new Will, Power or Attorney, and Health Care Power of Attorney. We also did the same series of documents for my wife. They are not exact mirrors of each other due to our own personal histories and families, but their are similarities.

Cost were reasonable; and if it had just been simple I suspect that all documents could have been done as a joint package by our Lawyer in the $300 range. But, my wife is from another country and has assets in that other country we had to make the Will meet international standards. That meant my wife's documents cost a lot more; especially since their was a fair amount of legal research to ensure we had the appropriate i's crossed and T's dotted (or versa vica). Apostille certificates on legal documents was also interesting (Apostille is an international recognized notary certificate).

Have a great day,

Perry
 
we do.... but it does not even mention DD ---- who is now 19!!! When DH and I resolved S I G N I F I C A N T issues and difficulties 3.5 years ago, it was his job to get the appointment with the lawyer so we could update our wills....

Yup - its on the TO DO list but if the tragic were to happen right now, we are still covered and it would not change from then to now, but I'd still prefer to have a much more current version.
 
I do not have one....not YET. If FI and I pass the bar next year, we will write them then :bigsmile: But as of right now, nothing to give (but what if you die and theres wrongful death and money to collect?!?! whoever has to pay off my student loans can have that money lol)


I will worry about that when Im older...like ya know.. 25.
 
My mother nags me about doing one. I'm single with no kids, so it's not a pressing issue to me.
And I would not be leaving things to the people she thinks I should/would.
 
Thanks for the replies, folks. Interesting to see how many people say it is on their To Do list. It has been on ours for quite a while - we were married 18 months ago and haven't updated ours since then.... :nono:

We have a company/trust setup with some fairly convoluted business shareholdings, as well as property in my name only. We've had our first appointment with the solicitor and the estimate to do both wills seems to be in the AU$1500-2000 rage, which is exactly what my husband estimated it would be, before we went in. We will probably add EPOAs on top that as well, so the costs might sneak a little higher.

We are doing our wills openly and in conjunction with each other. DH has children from his first marriage, and I have no other children, so our wishes are basically the same - our kids will be looked after, whoever dies first. Once we have these in place, we don't envisage needing to make many changes to them for a while, apart from maybe changing the executors.

The biggest/hardest decision for me has been choosing individual items to leave to specific people. It's just something I want to do - to have my three siblings, and my two step-kids, named in the will with an item (sentimental jewellery or other such thing; not necessarily huge value items) left specifically to them. I may rethink this idea down the track, but it's what I want to do now.

My grandparents' wills were somewhat of a mess and it taught my parents (and me!) the importance of having a well-planned, and current, will. We've been a bit slow in updating but otherwise I think we've thought it through well. My parents are also spending quite a bit on estate planning / doing their wills, to make their estate as simple (and tax effective) as possible. The tax effectiveness issue is also on our minds - we are working damn hard during our lives so we'd like to think the kids benefit as much as possible, from whatever is left! :lol:

ETA: I have never heard of a joint will, so I wonder if perhaps we don't have such a thing here in Australia?? I don't really understand how it would work if one person dies, in a joint will - does their estate automatically go to the other person, then the will kicks in when the second person dies? I assume the second person can still change their will at any point, though...?
 
texaskj|1355531836|3331681 said:
And I would not be leaving things to the people she thinks I should/would.
Click to expand...

oops you better get your will in order, just in case lol.
because without a will it can be very difficult for people to manage your affairs or get your stuff to the right people.

Not that I can talk, I didn't get a will until I was married with kids.

Suddenly all the 'boring' stuff like insurance and wills - including power of attorney - become very important!!

I honestly don't know how you would arrange a comprehensive will without knowing what your husband has in mind. This is a task that needs to be arranged together, as a team.

You need to work out power of attorney for yourself and your husband, so that should one become incapacitated (or pass away), the other can manage your affairs in the short term. Then if you both pass away, who gets power of attorney after that. My husband nominated his younger brother, I nominated my younger sister.

You need to work out who is going to look after the kids (if any, or any that might come further down the track), should you and the child's other parent suddenly and tragically die... :errrr: grim I know - but so, so necessary.

ETA: interesting question re joint wills... our wills were packaged up separately (in Australia like you Rae) but organised in a single joint meeting between my husband, myself and our solicitor. I guess 'joint will' really means sorting out power of attorney basically, as that is what it all boils down to surely...?
 
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