Do you hate anyone?

[dragonfly411]

I wanted to jump in and say I''ve been on the opposite end of the spectrum. I cut my best friend. I offered her explanation though and I don''t hate her... but I don''t care anything for her either. She did things to me that were unforgiveable. She tried to break me and my SO apart... she always made everything about her... and laid blame on everyone but herself. We stopped talking for a a year and she said it was my fault b/c she didn''t want to deal with drama with my ex who was her step brother. It was not my fault. She took his side. He was abusive... and cheated on me with three other people. How is that my fault. She kept trying to contact me.... because she wanted me in her wedding... her her her her her. Always about her. She''d contact me for rides to the air port... or to do a favor. But otherwise she didn''t care if she talked to me. So I told her not to contact me anymore.

I''m sorry you girls have gone through that... I don''t think it''s fair without explanation and a clear and good reason. I hope you can find the same friendship elsewhere. I hope I am developing it in two different girls who are my close friends now... but I don''t know that I''ll ever have a good friendship like that again. She just changed as she grew up... and it was sad. She did it to more than just me... and it was hard to watch.

 

[packrat]

Date: 6/1/2010 12:10:09 AM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 5/28/2010 11:36:21 PM

Author: packrat

I hated a guy when I was in high school. And then a couple years after graduation he was killed in a car accident. Outside, I shrugged and said whatever. Inside, I smiled.



Otherwise, I can''t say as I hate anyone, besides like, child killers/molesters.

wow - I could never do that... I would feel guilty. There was a girl I didn''t like in high school who was killed in a car accident a few years after graduation and I just felt sad... I felt sad that maybe she had grown up and changed, I felt sad that she wouldn''t get the opportunity. I just felt bad for her family. I feel no joy in someone else''s pain, ever. No matter what they did to me. It just isn''t in me to rejoice in that stuff. To me THAT is when Karma is gonna come kick my butt.

Well, you know how some people you just don''t mesh w/and you dislike? It wasn''t like that. I thought he was my friend. I hated him b/c of what he did to me, and lied about and got away w/, and I ended up in a horrible place in my head that took me a long time to crawl out of and past.

 

[princesss]

Nope. I''ve been incredibly lucky so far in life - there are people whose existence I choose to ignore, but it''s because the things we''ve done to each other are pretty petty and we just don''t bring out good sides of one another. A few former friends that turned on me (and one rather viciously), but nothing awful.

I hated one ex pretty passionately for a very long time for the things he put me through. But now I can barely be bothered to care one way or the other.

I''m almost afraid to read through this thread - I don''t think most people hate for no good reason, and I hate to think about horrible things happening to the wonderful PSers that have posted here. I''m so sorry so many of you have had to go through such painful situations.

 

[Indylady]

Date: 6/1/2010 4:40:26 PM
Author: princesss
I don''t think most people hate for no good reason, and I hate to think about horrible things happening to the wonderful PSers that have posted here. I''m so sorry so many of you have had to go through such painful situations.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/29/2010 6:12:08 PM
Author: kenny
I have no problem with thread hijacks, no problems whatsoever.

Discussions just evolve.

So be it.

I feel the same way - in fact when people get pissy about threadjacks I find THAT annoying lol Let''s talk about THIS for a while haha

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 6/1/2010 3:20:09 PM
Author: Liane
I hate lots of people. LOTS of people. I''m not even sorry about it, because I get a good deal of motivation and drive out of my hatred for them; I wouldn''t be half as productive if I didn''t have the red-hot fires of fury to keep me going.


I''m not sure I''d recommend a rage-driven life to anyone else, but it''s worked well for me.

I am really sorry for what I''m going to say but I''m chuckling big time and thought I''d share how productive your rage has been for me lol All I am hearing in my head is, "Hooked on Phonics worked for me!" haha

Maybe you could make some audio tapes to teach the rest of us how to funnel our rage? hahaha

 

[Cehrabehra]

packrat - I do understand... and I didn''t feel the same about the girl I referred to as you did, but I have had that in my life and worse.

I think to some extent hate is a frame of mind. Like the Amish village who had that guy come in and kill all those children and the FIRST thing they did was forgive him and reach out to his family for their loss and pain.

I have a step mother who was my first best friend, my first babysitter, I adored her and she me and it was me wanting to see her a couple years after my parent''s divorce that brought her and my dad together. She was fine until I got married and then was still okay until I had children, then it was a quick trip to I have no idea what for her and the only thing she says to me when I call is, "I''ll get your father" in a falsetto voice. When I am in town she goes out for a long day with her sister. There have been no gifts for my children for many years. All of the pictures I''ve given my father of my kids aren''t put on the fridge or walls. I have NO idea why she''s done this. She never let my brother stay with us for a week over the summer etc. Now he is 18 and graduating and coming here to stay with us for over a month. I can''t wait to finally get to know him.

I could hate her. I''ve cried dozens of times with very deep feelings of abandonment and resentment and it''s been more than enough to fuel hatred. But instead I feel pity.

I had a stepfather who was an alcoholic and was mentally and emotionally abusive to me in ways that I''m positive I have still not recovered from. I saw him abuse my mother and learned later that he had raped her. He would drink so much and black out and puke all over the place and then wake up and accuse me of doing it and make me clean it.

There is enough there to hate, and at one time I thought I did hate him... but I don''t now. Again, I feel pity.

I DO have it in me to feel hatred in intense bursts, but the prolonged cold hatred just truly isn''t in me. I know it''s not forget, and sometimes it''s not even forgive... but the burden it gives ME is not worth it. Pity in a way is an act of generosity and so rather than being burdened with hate, my pity makes me feel better about everything, myself included. It isn''t an act of mercy, it is a recognition that my life will never be as bad as theirs for them to have to act out in such ridiculous ways.

So I don''t begrudge anyone THEIR hatreds, but just because someone says it isn''t in them to hate doesn''t mean that there aren''t people in their lives who deserve it. It just means they deal with it differently. I think we could all learn a bit from the Amish... and yet I FULLY understand why some people will never let go of their feelings toward certain people. There are some seriously rotten things that have been done to people here.

Even still, I do believe hate is more about how we deal with things than what has been done to us.

 

[packrat]

I past tense hated him. When he died, it hadn''t been but 5 years, well, I don''t think even that long..but it was still raw. I hadn''t figured out how to put the bad gunky in the little box and lock it and toss it to the bottom of the watering hole. Once he was gone, it was like-if the object you hate is gone, then what? Do I keep holding onto the past, hating someone who is not alive? To what purpose? Hating takes a lot of energy, even if it''s not a conscious thing where you seethe and obsess. As it is now, I can fish the bad gunky out of the watering hole now and again and examine it and it''s fine. If he were still alive, I think it would''ve just kept festering-it wouldn''t be something people would let scab over and scar-they would just keep picking at it, and it would never heal.

 

[Porridge]

No I don''t hate anyone. But I''m young, I''ve been lucky so far. I can imagine I''d have the capacity if someone hurt my family or my friends.

 

[Deia]

I don't normally hate anyone but I must admit I HATE my boyfriend's father. I have never even met him. I refuse to ever meet him but thanfullly boyfriend doesn't want to speak to him or introduce me.

He abused my boyfriend (abused BF's mother too) mentally and physically throughout his life (it only stopped when BF decided to stop talking to him (about 4 years go now - we've been together 3 and a half) and has done such severe emotional damage to him that yes I do hate someone capable of that.

Makes me fill up with anger just thinking about it if I'm honest...but at the same time I see him as such a pitiful man...a coward...and when I think about it like that it makes me sad that someone is so pathetic and such a waste of a life. Harsh, but true.

 

[nytemist]

I have a long list pf people I can''t stand and will not acknowledge or be in the presence of.

There are only two people I hate, as in I see you drowning and won''t lift a finger to save or help you (and I was a lifeguard)

The guy who tried to roofie me in college.

The boy in hig school that I dated for five months, only to find out it was a joke. He made a bet with his friends that he would get to see my chest and when it didn''t happen, since I took things really slow, he said wasn''t ever seriously interested in me. Of course I was in shock and he simply tells me that he couldn''t date an ugly girl and he was trying to get to see me naked. Because of him I became really cynical about guys, never trusted a word they said to me if they seemed interested and I didn''t date anymore until about 26.

 

[Arkteia]

Date: 5/31/2010 5:40:52 AM
Author: kribbie
I do. I hate my father. Always will.

I really sympathize with you. While having a very good father, like mine, could make future relationships difficult (no man could ever measure up to him), it is a horrible, horrible experience to have a bad father. Bad parents in general. I do not know how these wounds heal. How can people trust others, if most important figures in their lives have betrayed their trust - and early?

 

[katamari]

My hate is fleeting, so I guess it is more directed at actions and not people. Like right now, I am trying to write. I work at home most of the time and so does the gentleman who lives in the other half of our duplex. The problem? He is a musician. He plays lame 80s hair metal, amplified all hours of the day and (more frequently) night. I hate his music; I hate his job; I hate that he moved into our duplex, but I don''t hate him.

I used to hate someone, but the pull they had over my life lessened, and not I just try to not think of them or encounter them.

 

[joxxxelyn]

I used to hate but it took too much energy. There was an individual who interfered in my relationship by constantly calling my fiance after he repeatedly asked her to stop and told her he had moved on (during the beginning of our relationship). During those phone calls, she would insult me and threaten to commit suicide. Then, she withheld some of his personal property from him forever because he would not take her back and had someone verbally abuse us in public. Our relationship was magical, but for the longest time I couldn''t think of the beginning of our relationship without remembering what she did. It was like a stain. She took what was ours and tried to make it about her. However, she didn''t get what she wanted and our relationship has blossomed, so I have been able to let go of the hate. I just wanted to be free of the drama.

 

[Strawdermangrl]

When a childhood friend, and I mean someone I grew up with CLOSELY, starting moving in on my ex''s I kind of had a ''cut the connection'' warning flash.

When I broke up with the love of my life in September and found he is now engaged to her? Yeah, I would say I have some ''hate like'' feelings toward her.

Wouldn''t be a shame if she tripped down the aisle?