janinegirly
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2006
- Messages
- 3,689
Date: 3/20/2007 12:03:14 PM
Author: janinegirly
i ... just felt so alone. and when i was unloading he just didn''t say anything.... He doesnt understand that his lack of support or even a helpful ear or comforting word is what makes me unable to hold it all together sometimes.
...he still throws things in my face sometimes like...
...he blames the wedding for making me ''too hyped up'' (his words) which makes me feel unsupported, and worse, scared to bring it up to him.
...he''s letting me sink and thinks it wasn''t his baby so not his problem. meanwhile its my parents who have all the deposits down... we are not able to have concrete discussions b/c he can''t communicate with me sometimes. he goes into zombie mode and just looks at the tv.
i''m probably revealing too much right now...
...he is normally a great guy
... Talking it out doesn''t work well b/c he shuts down and it makes me cry and cry...
LOL, who says men act like adults?Date: 3/20/2007 12:39:51 PM
Author: cara
Um, this is a big deal. This is how he reacts to YOU being stressed about something. He doesn''t take any responsibility for it and blames you for it. You are afraid to talk to him, he is making you feel more alone, isolating you even further. This is NOT adult behavior. At least not good, healthy adult behavior. You NEED to talk to him about it, and if it doesn''t get through, consider counseling. What if one day you take a job that he isn''t thrilled about you taking, and it turns into a nightmare job. Is he going to be there for you or is he going to through it back in your face? ''Don''t talk to me about your sucky job, I didn''t want you to take it in the first place.'' If you can''t go through life feeling like a team, what''s the point here?
ps. its not revealing too much if its something you want support/advice on. there''s no pricescope rule that only happy posts are allowed.
LOL, this is so true. And you know why men hate going other people''s weddings? Because it''s planned by WOMEN and it''s boring to them. Cutting cake? Garter toss? Who cares? (they think).Date: 3/20/2007 6:57:37 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Let''s face it, weddings are for women. You can just tell the groom when to be there and what to wear, and that''s about all most of them care about. Most men do not look forward to going to other people''s weddings either. That''s just the way they are (in general).![]()
We started out thinking big wedding several months away, and the early stress made me decide that it just wasn''t that important to me. So we had a small afternoon wedding much sooner with close family and friends with nothing too complicated. I''ve been married now for 30 years, and I just don''t know anyone my age who spends any time sitting around thinking about whether they should have had a bigger wedding, or whatever! I don''t even remember the last time I looked at the pictures. So I''d recommend making your planning as stress free as possible, and don''t bring your stress over it to your fiance. Ask your friend, mother, or sister (or us!) their opinions on the details if you need help.
Heehee... don''t tell anyone but, I''d rather go to a superbowl party than someone''s wedding any day, haha.Date: 3/20/2007 7:17:06 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Date: 3/20/2007 6:57:37 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Let''s face it, weddings are for women. You can just tell the groom when to be there and what to wear, and that''s about all most of them care about. Most men do not look forward to going to other people''s weddings either. That''s just the way they are (in general).![]()
We started out thinking big wedding several months away, and the early stress made me decide that it just wasn''t that important to me. So we had a small afternoon wedding much sooner with close family and friends with nothing too complicated. I''ve been married now for 30 years, and I just don''t know anyone my age who spends any time sitting around thinking about whether they should have had a bigger wedding, or whatever! I don''t even remember the last time I looked at the pictures. So I''d recommend making your planning as stress free as possible, and don''t bring your stress over it to your fiance. Ask your friend, mother, or sister (or us!) their opinions on the details if you need help.
LOL, this is so true. And you know why men hate going other people''s weddings? Because it''s planned by WOMEN and it''s boring to them. Cutting cake? Garter toss? Who cares? (they think).
Now superbowl parties, they love. Hang out, no agenda, food and beer. Our wedding was more like that, and the men had a great time (small wedding helped). I don''t even think any of them ate the frou frou wedding cake!
Agreed.Date: 3/20/2007 7:10:16 PM
Author: TravelingGal
LOL, who says men act like adults?![]()
Seriously though...I hate to say it but I think this behavior is more common than we'd think, and it doesn't mean that Janine's FI is a big giant jerk.