Do you ever feel sorry for yourself?

[february2003bride]

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? And how do you snap out of it? Do you continue the pity party or are you proactive in changing what is making you feel that way?

 

[kama_s]

I used to, quite a fair bit. I come from a shity family background, and I always wished I had a mum or a father who genuinely cared for and supported me. I would wallow in self pity all the time. I'd engage in retail therapy (with money I didnt have!) or bury my nose into school books to push it out of my mind. One was fantastic for me, the other not so much.

I haven't felt sorry for myself in a very long time now, because everytime I feel like things aren't fair, I think about how freakin' lucky I am. I have a great education with an awesome job, an utterly amazing husband and luckily no financial, health or relationship issues. By the time I've run these thoughts in my head, I feel pretty darn foolish for feeling sorry for myself. Especially considering how there are so many who aren't half as fortunate and have bigger everyday worries than my silly pity party du jour.

 

[iheartscience]

I wouldn't say I ever really feel sorry for myself because I know my life is pretty awesome and I realize that even when I'm feeling like a pity party. But when I'm unhappy about something I'm definitely proactive. I might complain, but I also do something about it.

For example, I didn't like my last job, so I applied to every job that I was qualified for that sounded remotely interesting. I also took advantage of my benefits (free grad classes) to help make myself more marketable. And when I got too negative I focused on the great benefits, the foot in the door, etc. Now I have an awesome, higher paying job that I love, and I wouldn't have gotten it without that crappy job.

 

[elrohwen]

I felt sorry for myself a lot when I was in a horrible job and was miserable all the time. There was really no snapping out of that one until I left the job and was unemployed for many months. Funny enough, most people feel sorry for themselves while being unemployed, but I felt great for the most part! I guess it was so much better than where I was that it was a relief. Now I'm in a new job and sure things are stressful and I'm tired at the end of the day, but I never feel sorry for myself anymore.

I guess I don't really have a secret - for me it seems to be situational. When I'm really miserable and things aren't getting better, I find it hard to turn off the pity party. The rest of the time though, I'm pretty much pity free. If I feel tired or stressed or whatever, a change of scenery by going home and having a glass of wine (and hanging out with the bunnies) is usually enough to snap me out of it.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes right now, going through a hard disorder I find myself feeling sorry for myself.. I try to remember all the many blessings I have in my life, so that helps me get out of it. And the many friends I have that are supporting me in this difficult journey.

But before this?? No, I really didn't. Yes I could have. So many losses, and tough times. Abuse etc... But I learned to forgive and forge ahead... Like what's the point, you have to make your life what you want it t be. No one can do that for you but yourself...

But this hit out of no where.. I think I am beyond the pitty part, now I am just pissed.... LOL!!!!

The glass is still half full , and am trying to keep my chin up.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

hmmmWell, I've been unemployed for over 2 years and that is a CONSTANT source of "POOr ME", especially during the day when everyone is working. BUT my shrink has helped me see that even tho I don't have a job my standard of living hasn't changed, I have good health insurance and my husband has been very supportative. I just wish I could get my keister off the couch, my face out of the computer and my body out of the house and find something in the malls, even if it's just seasonal.

 

[somethingshiny]

I have thrown the occasional pity party, but generally, I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm pretty optimistic and my glass is usually half full. I don't really have to make an effort to be content. It's a great blessing. Even as a child, I didn't know how bad it was. And, looking back on it, I do so mostly with a grin because it made me who I am, and honestly, I like me. I'd choose me to be friends. That being said, there are definitely things I'd change if I could, but I feel I've learned from every event in my life so there's that positive again.


I recharge every day and I think that has something to do with my demeanor. Every day I read. Even if Lily has been up until 3am screaming, when I finally lay her down, I pick up a book. I need that time more than I need sleep. It's weird to think that considering I'm running on so little sleep right now and I'm really my best if I have 8-9 hrs a night, but I have to have that little bit of "me" time.

As far as little things going wrong, people upsetting me, etc. I address it head on and then get over it. I'm not one to hold a grudge and I have no room in my life for hatred.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I used to throw myself some pretty good pity parties. As I've gotten older, I've learned to be more sarcastic and I find things that used to upset me humorous.If someone says something rude to me I laugh it off. When friends blow me off, I make other plans. My outlook on life has definitely changed for the better.

When I do get down, I will do something just for me.. Watch a favorite movie and do my nails, read something frivelous, or grab drinks with a girlfriend.

 

[princesss]

Yup. Feeling pretty sorry for myself right about now. Just a general dissatisfaction with life. I'll let you know when I figure out how to get out of it.

 

[yssie]

Yes, and I know I'm not good at snapping myself out of my pity parties, though in the last year or so I've learnt to force myself to slow down, breathe, and look at the bigger picture much more effectively.. it's getting to that realization that the dramatics and catastrophising is - well, just that, and in the end it doesn't fix anything and it doesn't make you feel better about anything.

Though it might take a tub (or several) of orange sorbet.

 

[Kaleigh]

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? And how do you snap out of it? Do you continue the pity party or are you proactive in changing what is making you feel that way?

If you feel like sharing we are here for you....

 

[zoebartlett]

Yes, I feel that way at times. I know it doesn't do any good to wallow but I do, especially depending on the situation. I am very grateful for the things that have in my life, but sometimes even thinking of those things aren't enough to snap out of it right away.

Feb03 -- thinking of you...I wish I knew how to help.

 

[lknvrb4]

Yes, I do feel pretty sorry for myself a week or two every other month. I sometimes wonder if pms is the culprit. I quit a nice office job because the price for daycare for three kids was killing dh and I. I have my own home daycare now and get down about it. I miss adults, dress clothes, my heels, looking all done up everyday, feeling professional. Now I sit home with three year olds for 10 hrs a day.

 

[Porridge]

Hmm I don't so much feel sorry for myself as I am very lucky but I can be too hard on myself and get myself down that way. However, I've addressed this over the last year and I haven't gotten into that rut in months. The most successful technique for me was to think "these bad thoughts are entirely useless" and then distract myself. Being proactive is definitely the best way out, but I know that sometimes its hard to get your ass in gear!

 

[february2003bride]

Thanks for all the replies! I was just feeling sorry for myself over something I think most would consider petty and trying to get out of wallowing in it. I'm sure it's to not focus on other negative things that are happening right now. Yesterday I went to a parents of special needs children support group and hearing some of the stories from other moms just made me realize that throwing myself a pity party over the petty issue was wasting energy and that I needed to handle the other problems head on. No matter how bad I feel about life, there are people who absolutely have it worse, and I need to remember that! Definitely counting my blessings today and saying a prayer for those who have it worse.

 

[february2003bride]

I used to, quite a fair bit. I come from a shity family background, and I always wished I had a mum or a father who genuinely cared for and supported me. I would wallow in self pity all the time. I'd engage in retail therapy (with money I didnt have!) or bury my nose into school books to push it out of my mind. One was fantastic for me, the other not so much.

I haven't felt sorry for myself in a very long time now, because everytime I feel like things aren't fair, I think about how freakin' lucky I am. I have a great education with an awesome job, an utterly amazing husband and luckily no financial, health or relationship issues. By the time I've run these thoughts in my head, I feel pretty darn foolish for feeling sorry for myself. Especially considering how there are so many who aren't half as fortunate and have bigger everyday worries than my silly pity party du jour.

Kama- What I admire about you, knowing that your family life was less than ideal (to put it midly) was that you rose above that as an adult. You know what you wanted in life and you achieved that. I know a few people who had crappy childhoods and they use it as an excuse to have crappy adult lives. It takes a strong person with a strong core to change a bad childhood into a happy adult life.

 

[february2003bride]

I wouldn't say I ever really feel sorry for myself because I know my life is pretty awesome and I realize that even when I'm feeling like a pity party. But when I'm unhappy about something I'm definitely proactive. I might complain, but I also do something about it.

For example, I didn't like my last job, so I applied to every job that I was qualified for that sounded remotely interesting. I also took advantage of my benefits (free grad classes) to help make myself more marketable. And when I got too negative I focused on the great benefits, the foot in the door, etc. Now I have an awesome, higher paying job that I love, and I wouldn't have gotten it without that crappy job.

Thing2of2- I wish I as more proactive and that's something I'm aware I want to change. It's far to easy for me to just focus on what I'm feeling sorry about rather than focusing on what I need to do to change it. Eventually I get there, but I need to be faster about it, lol. I love that you took a crappy job and milked it for what it was worth- a free education that lead to a better job! That's awesome!

 

[february2003bride]

I felt sorry for myself a lot when I was in a horrible job and was miserable all the time. There was really no snapping out of that one until I left the job and was unemployed for many months. Funny enough, most people feel sorry for themselves while being unemployed, but I felt great for the most part! I guess it was so much better than where I was that it was a relief. Now I'm in a new job and sure things are stressful and I'm tired at the end of the day, but I never feel sorry for myself anymore.

I guess I don't really have a secret - for me it seems to be situational. When I'm really miserable and things aren't getting better, I find it hard to turn off the pity party. The rest of the time though, I'm pretty much pity free. If I feel tired or stressed or whatever, a change of scenery by going home and having a glass of wine (and hanging out with the bunnies) is usually enough to snap me out of it.

Elrohwen- when DH left his last job for his current one, he didn't realize just how bad it was, emotionally and mentally, until he went to his new position. His new company is SUCH a breath of fresh air! The entire way it's structured and the respect they have for their employees is amazing. So I totally understand how you could be miserable in a crappy job, but loving unemployment, lol.

 

[february2003bride]

Yes right now, going through a hard disorder I find myself feeling sorry for myself.. I try to remember all the many blessings I have in my life, so that helps me get out of it. And the many friends I have that are supporting me in this difficult journey.

But before this?? No, I really didn't. Yes I could have. So many losses, and tough times. Abuse etc... But I learned to forgive and forge ahead... Like what's the point, you have to make your life what you want it t be. No one can do that for you but yourself...

But this hit out of no where.. I think I am beyond the pitty part, now I am just pissed.... LOL!!!!

The glass is still half full , and am trying to keep my chin up.

Kaleigh- I've said this before and I'll say it again (and again ) I really admire you! Having gone through so much, but you are such an amazing mom, so positive and such a gentle spirit. I must have missed it if you posted what the disorder is, but you are in my thoughts and prayers!!

 

[february2003bride]

hmmmWell, I've been unemployed for over 2 years and that is a CONSTANT source of "POOr ME", especially during the day when everyone is working. BUT my shrink has helped me see that even tho I don't have a job my standard of living hasn't changed, I have good health insurance and my husband has been very supportative. I just wish I could get my keister off the couch, my face out of the computer and my body out of the house and find something in the malls, even if it's just seasonal.

Amber- Being unemployed for two years definitely gives you permission to have a mega pity party! I hope you find new employment soon

 

[february2003bride]

I have thrown the occasional pity party, but generally, I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm pretty optimistic and my glass is usually half full. I don't really have to make an effort to be content. It's a great blessing. Even as a child, I didn't know how bad it was. And, looking back on it, I do so mostly with a grin because it made me who I am, and honestly, I like me. I'd choose me to be friends. That being said, there are definitely things I'd change if I could, but I feel I've learned from every event in my life so there's that positive again.


I recharge every day and I think that has something to do with my demeanor. Every day I read. Even if Lily has been up until 3am screaming, when I finally lay her down, I pick up a book. I need that time more than I need sleep. It's weird to think that considering I'm running on so little sleep right now and I'm really my best if I have 8-9 hrs a night, but I have to have that little bit of "me" time.

As far as little things going wrong, people upsetting me, etc. I address it head on and then get over it. I'm not one to hold a grudge and I have no room in my life for hatred.

Somethingshiny- That's a great trait to have! I have a friend who is always half glass full, look on the bright side kind of person. I tease her that she's got to be drinking wine all day to be that stinkin' positive, lol. She has a special needs to daughter who has seizures, had brain surgery, etc. She said she has her moments of tears, but then thinks about how blessed she is to have her daughter in her life and that throwing a pity party does no good, so why waste the energy? So true...

 

[february2003bride]

I used to throw myself some pretty good pity parties. As I've gotten older, I've learned to be more sarcastic and I find things that used to upset me humorous.If someone says something rude to me I laugh it off. When friends blow me off, I make other plans. My outlook on life has definitely changed for the better.

When I do get down, I will do something just for me.. Watch a favorite movie and do my nails, read something frivelous, or grab drinks with a girlfriend.

OUpear- That's great! I should be less of a worry wart and try to find the humor in things...

 

[february2003bride]

Yup. Feeling pretty sorry for myself right about now. Just a general dissatisfaction with life. I'll let you know when I figure out how to get out of it.

Princesss- I'm so sorry Huge hugs from me.

 

[february2003bride]

Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? And how do you snap out of it? Do you continue the pity party or are you proactive in changing what is making you feel that way?

If you feel like sharing we are here for you....

Aw, thank you Kaleigh! ((hugs))

 

[february2003bride]

Yes, and I know I'm not good at snapping myself out of my pity parties, though in the last year or so I've learnt to force myself to slow down, breathe, and look at the bigger picture much more effectively.. it's getting to that realization that the dramatics and catastrophising is - well, just that, and in the end it doesn't fix anything and it doesn't make you feel better about anything.

Though it might take a tub (or several) of orange sorbet.

Yssie- a tub of orange sorbet for you, a few mini butterfingers bars for me, lol. Whatever works!

 

[february2003bride]

Yes, I feel that way at times. I know it doesn't do any good to wallow but I do, especially depending on the situation. I am very grateful for the things that have in my life, but sometimes even thinking of those things aren't enough to snap out of it right away.

Feb03 -- thinking of you...I wish I knew how to help.

Zoe- Someone once told me that they have a list of all the things in life that they are grateful for. From major ones like a great relationship with their mom to small ones like, fall was finally here. She goes over it every single day if she can, like a prayer. I'm starting to think I may try my own version of that. And you're right, it's about being grateful because wallowing doesn't work!

 

[Indylady]

Sure.

But everyone has problems. If I didn't have these problems, I'd probably have some others. That puts things into perspective for me.

 

[catwalk82]

Feeling sorry for myself is something that I have really struggled with. I have chronic pain and find that it is really easy to make each day one massive pity party. However, I have decided that I can choose how I will respond to this curve that life has thrown me by being positive. It is really hard to do though, and I will occasionally have an all out pity party where I curl up in my pajamas and eat ice cream and cry

 

[february2003bride]

Yes, I do feel pretty sorry for myself a week or two every other month. I sometimes wonder if pms is the culprit. I quit a nice office job because the price for daycare for three kids was killing dh and I. I have my own home daycare now and get down about it. I miss adults, dress clothes, my heels, looking all done up everyday, feeling professional. Now I sit home with three year olds for 10 hrs a day.

Lknvrb4- You need to do what is best for you! Can you look at doing an inhome day care as a X # of years plan and then you can go back to an office environment? You definitely need adult interaction. As a stay at home mom I definitely understand where you are coming from. I went from working for 11 years to not working at all. It took me a long time to come to terms with not having a paycheck, wearing nice work clothes (although I don't miss that too much I like my jeans and t-shirts, lol) , adult interaction, making decisions that benefit a company and my career, etc. I'm really contemplating taking a class at our local community college next semester. It's not work, but I would be in a class with adults, doing something not "mommyish" and for myself. But on the flip side, I love being a SAHM and after 5 years of not working, can not imagine going back to work until my kids are much older. Plus you're right, child care is expensive!

 

[february2003bride]

Hmm I don't so much feel sorry for myself as I am very lucky but I can be too hard on myself and get myself down that way. However, I've addressed this over the last year and I haven't gotten into that rut in months. The most successful technique for me was to think "these bad thoughts are entirely useless" and then distract myself. Being proactive is definitely the best way out, but I know that sometimes its hard to get your a$$ in gear!

Porridge- You are absolutely right! I should write that down and stick it on my fridge!