do you ever compare your wedding to others?

[noelwr]

ok, I''m not so creative with the topics as smurfy, but was wondering what you think about this one.

do you ever compare other people''s wedding to your own? and I don''t mean other PSers weddings. I mean your friends'' weddings.

so DH and I are total snobs, and we do it all the time (only discussing amongst the 2 of us)... comparing the invitations, the ceremony, food, organization, photography, etc. and of course we always think ours was the best.

anyone else do this?

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Thanks noelwr, I do what I can lol

I don''t think we compare but sometimes I''ll see a little detail and think "oh that might have been nice" ya know?
I think in the end we all will always thinks ours is the best, and who can blame us? We are kind of biased lol

 

[meresal]

Nope.

Everyone has their own tastes, their own budgets, and their own situations.

I always send an email or note after receiving an invitation letting the B&G know that we got ours and how beautiful it is, and I do the same thing after the wedding, saying what a wonderful time we had and that the evening was beautiful.

I don't compare but, I always try to take pictures of the small details for the bride, that I know she will miss on the day of.

However, if I ever find myself at another All White Formal wedding (like ours was), then I will probably pay very close attention to all the decisions the bride made, simply because the wedding are pretty much "cut from the same fabric". I like to see people's visions, and how similar things can come together so differently.

 

[anchor31]

I think that to a certain point we can''t help it, especially if you loved your wedding. However, I think it''s important to not say anything to their face about it. Nothing must be more frustrating than hearing: "At MY wedding, we had this and that..."

Since I''ve been married I''ve only been to one wedding (my brother''s), and I will attend two in 2010.

My brother''s wedding was very nice, a formal military-style affair (brother is in the Navy). DH and I couldn''t help but giggle at the photographer''s neglected appearance, though, and it became VERY obvious to me that people my age have NO CLUE about etiquette and how to dress for a wedding. Prom dresses? Please.

My SIL''s wedding is coming up in May, and I''ve already posted about that one so I''ll keep it brief. Again, obviously etiquette is something my generation has not heard of in these parts...

Finally, my BFF is getting married in July. To my relief, she seems to be fairing very well on the etiquette department. However, it''s a fancy medieval-themed wedding, which is not to my taste, to say the least. But hey, I''ll wear the hot, long-sleeved dress she had made for me and smile, what are friends for?

 

[meresal]

ETA: Something I can absolutely NOT stand.... People comparing THEIR upcoming weddings to ours.

As in, most of our friends are not married yet, and the ones that are planning keep saying... "How will we live up to your wedding?" or "Yours was so beautiful and we just can't spend that kind of money. It just won't be as nice."

So uncomfortable, and though I'm sure it is meant to be flattering, I cannot stand it, and I usually stop people and tell them that every wedding is deifferent and amazing in their own way.

 

[elrohwen]

Well, I''ve been to very few weddings - people my age aren''t married yet, and older friends were married before we knew them. One good friend did get married a few months before us and I''ll admit we compared a bit. Mostly because we were kind of bored at her wedding (it seemed like all of the guests were 55+ in age, not many people danced, no open bar) and we had sooo much fun at our wedding. So we compared in that way, but I don''t think we compared the invites, centerpieces, etc. We cared very little about our own decor and were very minimalist, so we can''t really put down anybody else''s!

Though I''d love to go to a wedding with fantastic well done decor just because it wasn''t something we focused on, but I can certainly enjoy a beautifully done wedding.

 

[zipzapgirl]

I always compared the little things at every wedding I went to, just to get a feel for what I liked and didn't. I had a lot of experience attending weddings before I planned mine

The only really harsh comparison to my own wedding came in the run-up to my cousin's wedding about 4 months after ours. We went for a smallish (50 guests) destination wedding in Italy--it fit us perfectly and was absolutely wonderful! My cousin did the enormous hometown 300 guest wedding. It wasn't what I would have wanted, but I always had in the back of my mind that my mom was disappointed that we didn't do something larger in my hometown, like she was missing out on something.

I was talking to my Mom about it afterwards, saying something like, "well, I guess now you see what it would have been like if we had gotten married here..." and she surprised me by immediately saying that our wedding was so much more special and it was an absolute fairytale wedding. She reassured me at that moment and I've never dwelled on it since. What a great Mom

 

[Amandine]

I don''t compare much, but was startled when attending a friend''s wedding (we know the groom much better then the bride) to find that our wedding was apparently the gold standard the bride had aspired to. Not that what she did theme/design wise was similiar...but she kept mentioning it. And I was very startled to meet her mother in the recieving line (never met her before) and have HER mention my wedding, how lovely the pictures she had seen were (we were married a year before this wedding). They stayed with us on their way home from their honeymoon, and she brought it up again. It was just odd to me...her wedding was a couple weeks ago and she is mentioning mine from a year ago more? Flattering, I guess!

 

[sunnyd]

I haven't been to a wedding since ours (last month) but I'm sure I will compare future weddings to it. Not in a bad way, but in a 'oh that fits them so well' kinda way.

At DH's best man's wedding last summer, he kept bringing up our wedding plans to people at our table, which was so inappropriate I smacked his arm a few times.

I hope people weren't doing that at our wedding (like the GM's crazy fiancee yelling about having babies in the middle of his toast

)!

While I was planning my own wedding, I always had a friend's wedding in mind. Theirs was so much fun and I really wanted to recreate that mood at mine. It didn't happen as well as I hoped, but oh well. That's what I get for having expectations that were too high.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Absolutely not. Every wedding is unique to the couple.

My cousin is getting married October 2010. He and his fiance attended my wedding this past October and during the reception I overheard his father say, "your wedding has a lot to live up to - this is the funnest wedding I''ve ever been to - I don''t know how you two will ever follow this." I was absolutely mortified he said that. Mortified.

 

[Patchee]

No one''s wedding was like mine so naaa cannot compare. However, when I was planning I did look at other''s pics, and read about their venues etc. to get some great ideas.

 

[tlh]

I do, but in a way of... ooo I wish we did that! HA! I honestly wasn''t very happy with our wedding. It wasn''t what I wanted - at all. My husband and I lived 1500+ miles away from our families where the wedding was held. Our parents got busy- and kinda scrapped together a wedding. (And unfortunately the wedding wasn''t cheap or inexpensive as a result.) We couldn''t get the time off of work etc to fly back and do ANY of the wedding planning. So we basically ended up with what someone else wanted- and what was easiest for them... and in many cases - parents chose the first (and only) vendors they met with. It was a disappointment for both my husband and myself. The photographer completely butchered our album - so I still don''t have one - which makes me sad since it was the most important thing to me - and my dad just dropped the ball.

I''ve since gotten over the heartbreak - we planned our honeymoon and that was just what we wanted. I am not upset about how it turned out- I just wished I COULD HAVE been a part of the planning - and I wish I COULD HAVE GOTTEN what I wanted when so much money went into a wedding that was 100% NOT what I wanted.

I guess I saw Wedding Singer and thought the planning would be like that - and then me a HUGE control freak - has to trust others so completely to make it happen. Unfortunately it didn''t... but I did feel loved and special on our day - and I''m married now to the man of my dreams and my best friend.

I guess I really just wish so much money hadn''t been spent on something neither my husband nor myself really wanted... on a party... and I guess the main feeling is that I feel GUILTY that I didn''t like the wedding knowing how much money was thrown at it.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Not really.

Before I was married, I would note things I did and didn''t like so that I could get ideas of what I might want in my wedding.

I haven''t gone to another wedding since my own, but I doubt I''d really compare. My wedding was very low key and kind of odd (it had karaoke, need I say more?), so kind of apples and oranges.

 

[musey]

The first wedding after ours, yes, I did. It was easy to get caught in that trap because it my brother''s wedding, and I was a bridesmaid, so I was very involved... and they made some very interesting choices.

Plus, the day after my wedding I asked my brother if it made him excited for his own upcoming wedding. His response? "Not really... I would have preferred something more like yours."

So when theirs rolled around, I felt like we were ALL set up for comparing.

 

[bee*]

Before we were married I would take note of things that I liked at someones wedding to see if we could incorporate something similar but since we''ve been married I haven''t compared anything to ours. We have a couple of weddings coming up next year and I can''t wait to attend them.

 

[iheartscience]

Yes! I got married in July and in September I went to a former roommate''s wedding in the same city mine was in, so it was kind of impossible not to compare them since it was 2 months after mine! I didn''t say anything about my wedding at their wedding, though-I would never do that.

My husband totally compared their wedding to ours, too, and it was kind of adorable. After we left my husband was like "Our wedding was SO much better than theirs!" Obviously I agreed, but it was cute to hear him say it!

 

[katamari]

Totally. It is most often in an attempt to better understand the people/couple involved. It isn''t usually out of hating, though there is are certainly sometimes overt comparison where I want to deem one thing better and another worse.

 

[Winslet]

Not really, but I think it's just because I LOOOOOVE going to weddings and only "rate" the food and music as a measure of fun. Also, as much as I stressed about my own wedding details, I rarely pay attention to other couples' details.

 

[trillionaire]

yes, and I''m not even married yet!

When I was at FI''s brother''s wedding rehearsal (exactly a year before we got engaged), FI''s dad asked me if watching the rehearsal was giving me any ideas... It really wasn''t because their wedding was 100% unlke anything that I would plan. The wedding was nice, but I had never seen styrofoam plates and plastic wear at a 200+ person wedding. I also think that all weddings should have alcohol, so that was disappointing. No alcohol meant no one really danced and everyone left early.

FI and I are eloping, and I compare every wedding to eloping. I think everyone should elope, but clearly it''s a personal bias!

 

[radiantquest]

Yes, constantly. I compare everyones wedding with my lack of one. A little part of my heart is sad about it.

 

[sctsbride09]

Not at all. Our wedding was way different than anything that we have ever been to. (we eloped)

 

[Clairitek]

Our wedding was different to all the weddings I''ve been to since we had such a small one. All of the other weddings I''ve been to have had guest lsits of 100+ and we only had 35 with no dancing. Just cocktails and dinner. So, I guess I don''t really find myself comparing my own wedding to others but I *DO* find myself comparing friends weddings with the others. Sort of hard not to.

 

[Haven]

We don''t because our wedding was pretty different from what people normally do around here.

We had a very formal daytime wedding with an eight piece band. Most of our friends have semi-formal evening weddings with DJs. It''s hard to compare when they''re so different.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Not really. Our wedding was a huge divergence from the "traditional" weddings my friends had. They all got married in churches with big CC receptions. We got married in an outdoor urban setting and had a very small (40 ppl) reception at a super unique restaurant. We also paid for it all ourselves vs having our parents pay for it. I think this last part is what made ours the most unique. Because we were paying for it ourselves, we had to look for ways to make it special that were inexpensive at the same time. Everything we did we put a ton of thought into and tried to be creative with.

 

[JSM]

No, but I''m glad I eloped because I totally would.

In the end, I knew I wouldn''t enjoy my wedding day if we had a traditional day. I''ve stood up in too many weddings (between my husband and I we''ve been in 20, no overlap), and we knew it wasn''t who we were. As it was, my parents held a semi-formal reception for us, and while it was nice, I was all too glad to have it done.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

We do, not in a mean spirited way, just in an observant way KWIM?

We just loved our day and hope all of our friends enjoy theirs.

Each wedding is unique, just like each couple, and we try to enjoy weddings as they reflect our friends and their choices.

We were also really chill about our wedding, pretty much no stress. We worked hard tp make it a special day for everyone, but at the end of the day we just wanted to be married, so I think that helps inform how we think about weddings where we are guests. It''s a celebration of the start of a marriage