Do you carry your weight well?

[nala]

In the past 2 years i have lost close to 40 pounds. I’m 5’2” so I think it’s very obvious. Went from a size 14 to a size 6 in jeans. I feel so much better. But I’m not going to lie. I’m very confused.

None of my close friends have noticed! My family gushes over my sister’s exact weight loss but doesn’t acknowledge mine. I realize the weight loss is about me and no, I don’t need validation. But I am shocked.

So the other day at lunch, one of my friends commented that she was gaining weight and needed to lose 10 pounds before her wedding. I suggested weight watchers and shared my success story. She and my other friends replied that they would have never guessed. Bc they never saw me as being overweight. According to BMI, I was obese! Wtf!!! I was in shock. When I shared this with my sisters, they said the same. They said that I always seemed to have an hourglass figure hence they didn’t notice. For the record. No. I don’t think of myself as Maryiln Monroe.

I’m sorry. But I don’t buy this. I’m incredulous. Can this be true? Thoughts? Do you carry your extra weight well? Is there such a thing? Or are people just too self-absorbed to notice others weight gain or loss? Are you sensitive to others weight?

I guess I’m looking for an outside perspective. Lol

 

[Arcadian]

ex athlete, so yes. I competed at 171lbs....lol

 

[LJsapphire]

I'm 5'4 and 178lbs, have gained 10lbs in the last year (not happy) and it's been difficult to lose. I think it's partly my age. Anyhow, I am obese but I think I look about average. I'm pear shaped so I carry most on my hips and butt, I've only recently gained weight on my middle. Other people have commented that I'm a small dress size for my weight. (I'm a UK 14- is that a 10 or a 12 in the US?)

When I've lost in the past certain people notice quite quickly, after about 10lbs or so. But I don't know if certain people just say it because they think its what I want to hear...?

 

[JPie]

Well, I’ve gained weight, not lost it, and trust me - no one who has the will to live would point that out to me.

 

[LJsapphire]

I was just having a look at pictures to compare myself too and found this old article (from the Daily Mail unfortunately)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...verage-weight-British-woman-comes-shapes.html

My fiancé says I am a similar shape to the 5'11 lady but I'm only 5'4 and I'm heavier than all of them. I think my tummy is more like the 5'8 lady recently.
Must be more in the back

 

[bludiva]

My sister list 20 lbs and a neighbor lost 30 over the course of a year and I didn't notice with either even though I see them infrequently. Sometimes weight loss or gain just registers as "something looks different" and not knowing exactly what. I'll take that over the little old church ladies who tell me "you've lost weight!" Every. Damn. Time. they see me even though I've been the same size more or less since my late teens. :/

 

[missy]

Yes it depends on your body type and how you gain/lose weight. And some people (I am guilty of this) are less observant than others as well. I really don't see my friends like that. Thin or heavy etc. When I "know" someone their inner beauty truly overrides all else and I also think people of all different weights can be and are beautiful.

When I was younger definitely I carried my weight very well. I fluctuated from 110-120 and you really couldn't tell. I am 5'6" so I think it just appeared as a very small change in my hourglass figure which went unnoticed by all including me. I lost and gained evenly throughout my waist/hips/bust. But now when I lose weight I lose it in my face (and butt ) so I think it is more noticeable. And as one ages you (generally) want a little more weight on your face to soften the face. I am in the process of gaining back unintentionally lost weight and I (don't have a scale at the beach house) think I am gaining because my face appears to be getting a bit more weight on it.

@nala congrats on losing the weight you wanted to...kudos on that because it isn't easy to get to a weight where one feels good and it is amazing you have reached your goal and I know it took a lot of hard work on your part.

 

[lissyflo]

Yes it depends on your body type and how you gain/lose weight. And some people (I am guilty of this) are less observant than others as well. I really don't see my friends like that. Thin or heavy etc. When I "know" someone their inner beauty truly overrides all else and I also think people of all different weights can be and are beautiful,

Exactly this. My best friends are supermodels as far as I’m concerned.

I think if you see people regularly it is very hard to notice weight changes, in either direction. When it’s you losing weight, you have the scales and how your clothes feel to tell you what’s happening. But, if you’re losing weight steadily and sensibly, 1 or 2 pounds a week won’t be noticeable to someone who sees you regularly because it’s such a small increment each time.

Having said that, you’ve lost a staggering amount and I’m surprised that friends and family didn’t notice even when you pointed it out, or from looking back at photos.

Regardless, huge congratulations on your achievement. And you don’t need anyone else to notice to get the health and energy level benefits of losing excess weight!

 

[lyra]

I think the grass is always greener, but I also think shorter gals have it hard. I'm almost 5'7" so my weight can change 20 lbs either way without anyone noticing. My body has chosen a weight, and heck, I give up at this point! Good for you though. For me to be a size 6, well I can't even imagine, because I've never been that size. I don't think my body is capable of going lower than an 8 even at its peak, lol. But size 8 for me was hip bones sticking out. It's all relative. I also think that sometimes people don't want to comment to women even if it's to say that you've lost weight. It could be taken badly.

 

[diamondringlover]

I have lost a total of 102 lbs over the last 10 years, of which 90 of it was in the last 4...I am 4'10 1/2" tall, I had lost about 40-50 lbs before most people started to notice...I found it annoying, so I shall say people just dont pay attention to some things...congrats on the weight loss

 

[YadaYadaYada]

People noticed when I lost 70lbs five years ago (size 18W to a 4-6)of course that was also one kid ago. Weight training makes a big difference, it can completely change your body shape even if you maintain the same weight on the scale, technically you could weigh more by the scale and still look smaller because muscle weighs more than fat.

Anyways I have to lose again about 60lbs, cleanup the diet and start exercising again. I've been in a funk the past two years but enough is enough.

Not really sensitive to others gain or loss and I try not to make comments because you never know if someone has lost due to illness or if they gained because they have been depressed, everyone is fighting a battle.

 

[ringbling17]

I think it depends on what you wear (in addition to where you carry the extra weight). I started running and lost 20 lbs and no one really noticed except my husband. The weird thing is although I was happy with the weight loss, I hated how gaunt my face looked.
I stopped running for a few months and I’ve gained 10 lbs back and no one notices. But my jeans were always the same size. I never had to buy new clothes. I wear scrubs for work so no one at work would really notice and I tend to wear medium sized tops in general or looser fitting tops bc I have larger boobs. So I think the larger top hides weight gain pretty well.
I gain weight in my gut area by the way so the loose tops really cover that area well. For reference I’m currently 130 lbs and 5’2”.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Do you carry your extra weight well? Is there such a thing? Or are people just too self-absorbed to notice others weight gain or loss? Are you sensitive to others weight?

Nope, my girdle is extra thick.

 

[Queenie60]

I've lost 22 lbs since July. Not many notice, they just look at me as though something is different. I carried the extra 20 or so well, it was distributed evenly on my body. However, I feel much better and it's taken a few years off of me. As long as you feel good about the weight loss, this is all that truly matters.

 

[monarch64]

I literally NEVER say anything about someone's weight loss, because I've heard too many people complain, like "what, was I super fat before?" You can never win by mentioning someone's size or weight, period, I don't care if it's a compliment you're trying to pay. Also a steady weight loss over 2 years? That's hard to notice unless you haven't actually seen the person for 2 years since their "before" weight. If you lost 40 lbs in 3-4 months, that's dramatic and more noticeable.

I have a friend who drops about 20 lbs really fast every 6 months or so. I can always see it in his face/neck first. He's in super restrictive diet mode right now and was traveling for the past two weeks. He looks completely different now than he did when I saw him before he left and he's only down 10 lbs! It's just a drastic difference in a very short time so you can't help but notice.

 

[Ally T]

When I was younger, I weighed 18 stone 2 pounds at my heaviest. That’s 254 pounds aged 18. Awful! I am 5 foot 7 inches & I have a broad, strong frame. I lost that weight all by myself over 2 years of sheer hard bloody work, going down to 10 stone (140 lbs). Everyone was in awe. Then 8 years later I met my husband & we ate out a lot & drank wine & I put on 14lbs. We married & I gained around another two stone of happiness (28 lbs). I got pregnant soon after with our first & only gained 23 lbs through the whole pregnancy, which was gone within 3 weeks of delivery. I breastfed, took up running & withered away. When I got pregnant with number two, 12 months later, I was a stick. I gained 25 lbs, gone 3 weeks after delivery. I hovered around 145 lbs for many years very easily, but this last 18 months I have struggled. I have developed Morton’s Neuroma in both feet through running in the wrong shoes & I have had to stop for treatment for months. I can feel my love handles bulging, but nobody else, NOBODY, sees them. My brother in law said yesterday I looked better lately as I didn’t look so bone-y on the chest.

So yes, I can carry weight well. I have written off my healthy diet over the last two weeks with Christmas approaching, works parties, family gatherings etc. But I think that with me, my family were so used to seeing Obese Alex for SO many years, that anything else looks thin, skinny & weird. They are blind to my weight. I am very muscular, broad shouldered & strong, and I think it’s only me who notices a significant weight gain. I always go by how my clothes feel in general, weigh scales are the last resort, so I try to keep in check & not let things get too tight. But everyone else thinks I look great regardless! And FYI, my face is thin. No fat left. Sunken. I had to start having filler 4 years ago to give my cheeks any sort of definition. Being thin isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

 

[LLJsmom]

I agree with @kayla17 For me it depends on the clothes I wear. But I’m 5’2 so weight gain shows on me if I wear form fitting clothes, which is when I’m working out. And I gain it right across the middle so my mom just straight up tells me I look four months pregnant. And I’m almost 50 so five pounds mysteriously found me and won’t go away even when I cut back on food. So no I don’t wear it well. But with baggy clothes I can hide a multitude of sins.
To answer your question nala I bet you can see it. You have lost a lot of weight. Congratulations. I am sure you can tell as probably can you DH. Maybe you need new clothes to show it off.

 

[kmoro]

Hmmm. At 5’2” (I’m 5’1”), I would say that even five pounds is usually noticeable. I have to admit, I am rather shocked that anyone would not notice a 40 lb weight loss at that height. *shrug*

 

[nala]

I literally NEVER say anything about someone's weight loss, because I've heard too many people complain, like "what, was I super fat before?" You can never win by mentioning someone's size or weight, period, I don't care if it's a compliment you're trying to pay. Also a steady weight loss over 2 years? That's hard to notice unless you haven't actually seen the person for 2 years since their "before" weight. If you lost 40 lbs in 3-4 months, that's dramatic and more noticeable.

I have a friend who drops about 20 lbs really fast every 6 months or so. I can always see it in his face/neck first. He's in super restrictive diet mode right now and was traveling for the past two weeks. He looks completely different now than he did when I saw him before he left and he's only down 10 lbs! It's just a drastic difference in a very short time so you can't help but notice.

The first 30 pounds were the first year. It’s taken me another year to lose 10.

 

[caf]

@nala - good work on losing the weight.

My observation is that some people assign "roles" to others. There's the smart one, thin one, fat one, the hard worker one, the lazy one, etc. And no matter whether you lose 100 pounds - you'll always be the curvy one or the plump one. It is about them. Not you. It's not even mean spirited - it just is. My guess is that your friends and family adore you but don't pay a lot of attention to your outward appearance. I would keep doing your program. And be proud of you!

 

[jordyonbass]

I dropped from 220lb to 170lb recently and while I have had comments on my weight loss, the amount usually shocks people as they didn't realise I was that heavy to begin with. I'm 170lb now but apparently look like I could be 155lb, so I guess it's relative in that regard.

The extra weight is probably in my legs, I've got rugby legs

 

[Phoenix]

I may be wrong but I think for Asian women, any weight gain would go straight to our tummy. I was a perfect weight (100lbs) for my height (5' 1 1/2 ") - I am very small boned. Some would say a little underweight, but I was perfectly healthy and super fit and working out intensively 5-6 times a week.

Now, I am 110lbs, which I'd say is about 5lbs over my desired weight, after having suffered a couple of health setbacks which have made me nowhere as active as I was. My waist size has definitely expanded and everyone has commented on it; my partner has however kept his mouth shut, which is just as well, lol. I absolutely HATE my stomach as it is now. My face has become a lot rounder, which I dislike also. My legs are a little on the thin side (not as muscular as they were). My butt has lost about an inch of muscles, from 36.5 inches down to 35.5 inches, through lack of butt-intensive exercise and I'm desperate to gain it back (I liked having a bubble butt). The only positive is that my bust has gone a little bigger, but not noticeably so.

My 2019 resolution is to lose 5lbs and become healthy again. It is not really so much that I want to look slimmer, it is more my health. But the two do go hand in hand in my case. I aim to be 105lbs and healthy and fit again. 100lbs is prob impossible to achieve now.

 

[Phoenix]

I dropped from 220lb to 170lb recently and while I have had comments on my weight loss, the amount usually shocks people as they didn't realise I was that heavy to begin with. I'm 170lb now but apparently look like I could be 155lb, so I guess it's relative in that regard.

The extra weight is probably in my legs, I've got rugby legs

I LOVE rugby legs on men!!

 

[jordyonbass]

I LOVE rugby legs on men!!

I better not post a pic of one of my drumsticks then

 

[CHRISTY-DANIELLE]

I lost 95 lbs about 4 years ago (bariatric surgery). I frequently show my before and after photos to my bariatric patients to encourage them. Recently one of my fellow nurses saw my photos, and said "You weren't THAT heavy, were you?!" This is a nurse who has worked with me since before my surgery, but she now can't recall that I was heavy before! I think people just get used to you as you are and don't always notice weight changes.
Except my grandma. She has eagle eyes at 94, and told me I was gaining weight. (I was literally up only 8 lbs from the last time she saw me! :roll)

 

[KristyDarling]

I don't carry my weight well. Any extra weight goes straight to my face and upper body, so any time I gain, it's pretty obvious. At 5'2" and small-framed, even just an extra 2-3 pounds is visible on me. I'm currently 5 pounds over my usual weight, and my husband swears he can't see it but I think he's saying that because he values his life. My cheeks and under-chin area are fuller, my waist is thicker, my upper arms are puffier, and I have chub rolls around my bra strap. I envy all you tall gals who can gain without anyone noticing!!

Nala -- with that amount of weight loss, I'm 100% sure you're looking fit and fabulous. Congrats on getting so healthy!!

 

[Austina]

Well done @nala that’s a great achievement.

I’m really surprised they’ve apparently not noticed, that’s a significant weight loss. I say apparently, because I think they’re choosing not to comment for whatever reason.

I don’t carry weight well, I’m considerably heavier than I used to be, and I really don’t like being flabby. I could do something about it, but I’m not particularly motivated. I walk everyday with my dog, so I’m not unhealthy, but I think my extra weight is an age thing, and I can’t do anything about getting older. I eat healthily, so I’m not going to starve myself to lose weight, and I’m pretty sure if I lost weight, I’d start to look haggard.

I had a completely flat stomach until a couple of years ago, but I do think diminishing hormones have made a difference to my shape. I don’t think I look too bad for someone who’ll be 60 next year, I used to be a size 2-4 and now I’m a 6-8.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

I don't tend to notice other people's weight but to be fair most of my friends seem to have been at the sane weight for the last 20 years. Even after kids they pretty much went back to normal. I would NEVER EVER comment on anyone's weight though! I'd pay a compliment on how wonderful they look but never will I comment on weight!

Kids weights however are a different story. I still never comment but I notice kids weights like a hawk. That's just me though since I have a super skinny baby and so I am really sensitive to his weight and that of his peers. Even a gain of 200g for him is a huge celebration for me! Hehe I kinda internally cheered when his bestie that he grew up with (who was the chunkiest, chubbiest baby and toddler) went all skinny just like him after she turned 4. It made me feel so much better that he wasn't the only skinny one and suddenly a bunch of previously fat babies all went skinny (all very healthy) even though they did nothing different!

 

[AGBF]

My weight was up and down for much of my adult life. I was (until I got old) 5' 4 and 3/4 " , which I called 5' 5"and when I wore heels I looked above average height (in my day). When I was thin (the 130's) I heard myself referred to as "that tall thin girl". But I was also, often, overweight, sometimes quite obese. I believe that I once went up to 240 pounds at my highest weight. In recent years (prior to the last three) I probably fluctuated between 150 and 180 pounds.

About three years ago I lost weight living consistently on the Atkins diet. My weight has remained in the 111 to 118 (at most) range. I am happiest at 111 (which I was yesterday) or 112 (today), but I would like to gain more muscle and lose more fat. Like Phoenix I am now 5' 2" but in my case it is because I shrank. I am not happy with my body. I have tiny bones. I still have a lot of extra fat in places where I would like to lose it. In clothes I think I look very good because I can conceal the flaws.

I loved Monarch's posting about not mentioning weight loss because I had to endure a lot of discussion of my weight (unlike you, nala). Nala, being congratulated on weight loss is not all it's cracked up to be. I remember when the character "Rhoda" played by Valerie Harper lost weight and her nasty neighbor Phyllis first saw her she said, "Boy! You really dropped a ton!" Well, that's how one of the people around me reacted. She kept telling everyone how much bigger I had been and how two of me could fit into one pair of my old pants. And then at my father's memorial service a woman came up to me and said, "You should gain 15 pounds and grow some tits!"

Many, many people have said I lost "too much" weight and I have been told I look "fragile". My husband really makes me angry by using the word "frail" which implies ill health when I am strong and no one bothers to help me carry heavy packages or shovel snow! I finally told him I am THIN, not FRAIL. Because I have my hair cut very short and I am flat chested, I look boyish. My neighbor told me I looked like a kid going out to my mailbox.

What I have found is that no matter how unpleasant it is when people first notice your weight loss (and I have found it unpleasant), that they adjust. After three years of seeing me this weight, no one comments on my weight anymore. Or rarely. once in a while someone I know well will look at me and comment on how thin I am and comment or hug me and comment on it. But it isn't a constant drumbeat of comments. Everyone adjusts.

(I am a size 2 on top. I can wear a size 2 or 4 pants, but usually prefer to go bigger and wear baggy size 6 or even 8.)

 

[Calliecake]

I think weight distribution also changes as you age. I have weighed close to the same weight for most of many life. The last year I’ve gained a couple of pounds and it seems to go more to my waist then it did when I was in my 40’s. My face looks better with a few extra pounds but my body looks better without the extra weight. Women just can’t win. LOL.

@nala five pounds is noticeable when you are 5’2.