Do you and your SO split household chores equally?

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Do you and your SO split household chores equally?

 

[Austina]

When DH retired, I told him that he was going to have to do his share around the house. He does help out, but I still end up doing more, mainly because his idea of vacuuming doesn’t include under things or in to the corners. I try not to criticise and do it more thoroughly the next time.

To be fair, he’s been really busy sorting out all the practical stuff associated with our move, and since we have moved, he’s been even busier getting things sorted out here.

I think once we finally move in to our new house, he’ll have jobs to do, like maintaining the pool, and hopefully we’ll have less housework to do as we’ll be spending more time outdoors.

 

[lala646]

He would try to claim that he does more than me. Many of the things I do around the apartment don't even register for him. But I will say he does at least make an effort. And we have a deal that whichever of us makes dinner, the other does the clean-up. But he is a messy a** cook, and I'm a clean-as-you-go type, so it's always easier for him.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

No, I do nearly all the house stuff and it has been this way since I became a SAHM in 2007. I also take care of finances but that’s because he won’t write anything down. If something happens to him then whatever is in his head isn’t going to do me any good.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

For those that do more household chores, are you OK with doing more? What does your SO do to balance it out?

 

[seaurchin]

I don't know about "equally" because I haven't thought to try adding it all up. However, I also don't feel the need to add it up and we don't seem to have any problems with it so I guess it is equal enough.

Back when we did argue about that kind of stuff, I think it would have been more fair to say that we had unwisely but mutually chose to overload ourselves and that's why small things became a big issue in the first place. But my husband has never been the selfish type who would try to dump everything on me, fortunately.

 

[MamaBear]

I do more of the household chores. I’ve been a SAHM for over 20 years and we have a good routine. He takes care of all the outside chores, I do the inside. If I need help, he will step up to help.

 

[nala]

Hubby does all my chores bc he’s cheap! Hahaha. He doesn’t want to pay for a cleaning lady. But. Also. He doesn’t want to mow the lawn or do the pool—so I pay for those. At the end of the day, we are both happy campers bc we are empty nesters who are seldom home and cleaning is very light. Lol.

 

[FL_runner]

We split it pretty evenly. Although I generally do the laundry because I’m picky about how it’s done, and I am a better cook!

 

[Matata]

 

[kenny]

For those that do more household chores, are you OK with doing more? What does your SO do to balance it out?

I can't say on a family forum.

 

[Calliecake]

Now that my husband has retired the chores are pretty equal. Before that I did more cleaning, laundry and yard work.

 

[stracci2000]

He does the yard work, and I do the house work. But he will vacuum occasionally.
We used to take turns doing the dishes, but now that we finally replaced our dishwasher,
we take turns unloading.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

@Matata summed it up.

cheers--Sharon

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I don’t mind doing more because I don’t work currently, if that were to change there is no way I would be okay with not getting any help. He will do things if I ask him but he simply “doesn’t see” stuff, but when he does do something he is very thorough, more so than me.

 

[elle_71125]

We split household chores pretty evenly. However, I think I still do more for the house, as I’m the one who pays the bills and makes sure everything runs smoothly (ie: ordering supplies, making sure we never run out of stuff, making dinner, making appointments, etc). I also take care of the dogs & cats a lot more than he does.

Having said that, despite his intense work hours, my DH does more around the house than most men I know. I feel very blessed that he‘s my guy (though you may have to remind me I said that, when I have to ask him to clean the toilet three days running).

 

[TooPatient]

I'm saying yes because I think it balances in the long run. For a few years, I did almost everything around the house including much of the yard plus going to school and caring for him as he was dealing with health issues. For the last couple of years, DH has done the vast majority as I needed back surgery and have herniated a disc a couple of times since. We don't split it as seeing who does how much. It is more of a who is able and both trying to do what we are able as we are able.

 

[Bron357]

I’m retired so I do all the inside chores except cooking. DH likes to cook. DH also likes to do the weekly shop because otherwise I come home with stuff “not on the list”. Heavens forbid!
DH does the gardening cutting, the only thing we fight over, and I keep up the watering and buying more plants for DH to cut back.
When I went to the US with my daughter a few years back, I barely recognized the garden upon my return! I swear in my absence he pruned everything down to 3 inches. Grrr.
I always wash my car and sometimes his if it’s bad. He is less into sparkly clean cars than me.
And what does DD do.
Absolutely nothing.
To be fair that’s my choice. I just hated my mother for piling all the household chores on me at an early age so seeing as I’m retired and she is studying I will keep on doing them.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

DH and I split chores about evenly. We outsource everything outside. We used to outsource everything inside pre-COVID. It's been an exhausting adjustment combined with isolation these last 2 years. DH does the cooking, trash/recycling, mail/packages, cleaning the bathrooms, and anything that requires fixing. I do the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, organizing, buying supplies, bills, and project management. We help each other out and/or do each other's chores from time to time.

 

[MamaBee]

I do most of it. He will do things like vacuum..decorate for Christmas…load the dishwasher a few times. Other than that..I do EVERYTHING…

 

[Missy]

I feel a little bad writing this (I don’t want to come off as bragging or anything) but my DH does most of the chores.
He’s pretty awesome.

 

[canuk-gal]

I do most of it. He will do things like vacuum..decorate for Christmas…load the dishwasher a few times. Other than that..I do EVERYTHING…

I hear ya sista!

 

[Begonia]

Hubbie does more than me generally, but when I'm off (I work shiftwork), I do most of the chores and cooking. When I'm tired from the shifts, I do the bare essentials and he picks up the slack, so I'm very fortunate that way. His cooking is sub-par, but it'll keep you alive, and I'm happy to have a hot meal tbh.

 

[MamaBee]

Hubbie does more than me generally, but when I'm off (I work shiftwork), I do most of the chores and cooking. When I'm tired from the shifts, I do the bare essentials and he picks up the slack, so I'm very fortunate that way. His cooking is sub-par, but it'll keep you alive, and I'm happy to have a hot meal tbh.

I love your last sentence...

 

[AprilBaby]

Hahaha! He does NONE of the chores. I’m lucky if a dish makes it into the dishwasher. He had two sisters and he was the oldest child. In his 1950s household women do all the work.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

no

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I feel a little bad writing this (I don’t want to come off as bragging or anything) but my DH does most of the chores.
He’s pretty awesome.

you need to rent than man out as a tutor

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Equally in effort I think. I do all shopping, most cooking, "planning", and "picking up". My partner does all laundry, dishes, trash/recycling, and solo mornings getting the kids ready and out the door (I'm gone before they wake up). Our current arrangement works for all of us, if adjustments are needed we go with the flow.

 

[yssie]

… I try to have our cleaning help come right before I come back from a business trip. My sanity is worth the extra expense.

 

[Mreader]

This is probably unusual ( based on the comments I’m seeing) but DH does way more. I can be pretty blasé about clutter and he can’t stand it. He’s also a bit OCD about cleaning. He will wash dishes before putting them in the dishwasher haha. Since it has caused tension we do have someone come in to clean as well.