Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

do women really take advice from a public forum?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
31,525
 

chocolatefudge

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2007
Messages
383
For me, I read the advice carefully and take it into consideration BUT I think it would be foolish to take a large step, such as end a relationship, simply from advice given in a forum. No matter how good a person''s intention, they do not know the full story when replying to a thread.

If you were already considering taking an action and everyone else seemed to be backing up what you thought then this may help with your decision, however, I think to take drastic action simply from advice given from someone who does not really know you could be a bad step. I think that advice given on here is very helpful as it enables you to look at your dilemma from number of different angles, giving YOU the opportunity to decide what to do.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
Yep I have. I think on PS you''re in contact with a lot of the same people every day so they''re advice does matter to me.
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
8,614
I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don''t think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
 

laughwithme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
667
I think each person comes to forums for their own, different reasons. Some women come to vent, others come to get/share ideas, some are killing time, and some want general opinions and answers (so yes, to "get advice") - one good example is my recent thread, "would you rather attend a ballroom or country club reception?" I mean, if I want the perspective of the average person, or the majority, yet I don''t feel appropriate asking 20 or 50 people in my life, this is the perfect place to do it. Posters on forums are often times more honest and objective than in real life because they aren''t worried about hurting your feelings, and they don''t feel bothered or annoyed since the reason THEY are here is to ask/answer questions too.
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
Date: 4/4/2009 9:53:57 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Date: 4/4/2009 8:35:12 AM

Author: thing2of2

Why do you ask sexist questions?
Yeah, I wonder that often too.
ERm, because it''s fun to be a stirrer?!
 

Gullfoss

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2008
Messages
32
"Do women really take advice from a public forum?"

I notice a lot of men come here too for advice from a public forum. "How should I propose?" and my personal favorite "I have thousands of dollars to spend on an ering. Please help me people I have never met."

I''m just saying. PS seems to be pretty equal opportunity for gender advice given and taken.
 

girlie-girl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 29, 2008
Messages
819
Date: 4/4/2009 8:45:43 AM
Author: Tuckins1
I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don't think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
I have to agree with Tuckins1's explanation. Sometimes people just need to know there are others out there who feel the same way they do before they're able to take action. No matter if they take the advice or not, at the least I think it helps the poster take a deep look inside themselves and/or their relationship.
 

Mannequin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 16, 2006
Messages
1,733
Date: 4/4/2009 3:29:42 AM
Author:Dancing Fire
Naughty, naughty, DF! You aren''t supposed to be in here with the impressionable young LIWs. You''re gonna get in trouble...
 

mrscushion

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
3,309
Date: 4/4/2009 11:20:11 AM
Author: equestrienne
Date: 4/4/2009 3:29:42 AM
Naughty, naughty, DF! You aren''t supposed to be in here with the impressionable young LIWs. You''re gonna get in trouble...
Yeah, DF, what are you doing in LIW??
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Well at least he''s not asking the "Do ALL LIW think they need 2ct diamonds?" again....

But I do think it''s safe to say that at least 80% of men that come to this forum and peruse Rocky Talky take the advice of the women there.
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
I did 3 years ago, and it changed my life for the better.I feel especially in cases like my past, when topics are posted over and over with similar replies and concern, it begins to sink in. And I, began to realize it was the truth.

At the end of the day, Deco is always right
 

Callisto

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
1,152
I think sometimes it''s just nice to hear other people''s opinions on things to get a different perspective. In the forum''s I''ve read a lot of people had mentioned things I hadn''t really thought of, or phrased something in a way that really stuck with me. I agree I don''t think anyone is making major life altering decisions based on advice from a forum but there are definitely little tips and such that I think people genuinely consider and help them find their own perspective.
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
3,617
I really dont see how this topic can be constructive at all.

DF, you''re better off sticking with Hangout!!
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
31,525
Date: 4/4/2009 8:45:43 AM
Author: Tuckins1
I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don''t think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
BINGO!! Tuckins
 

SailorsSweet<3

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
723
Date: 4/4/2009 4:17:39 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 4/4/2009 8:45:43 AM

Author: Tuckins1

I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don't think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
BINGO!! Tuckins

... which is the same as many "girlfriend" relationships women have throughout their lifetime. Why do you think there was such a big hype about "hes just not that into you"? Validation is a huge part of social units and whether its from public forms, from your mom, from your best friend or from your cousins best friend's gay roommate. A lot of people search for reassurance in should it really matter if you get sugar coated information from a good girl friend who knows shes feeding you "happy lies" or from an online identity? Although it may make it easier to feed happy lies more easily as an anonymous poster it also is much easier to tell it to people straight. I think some people need to hear what is written on this form because they're surrounded by too many people who think they're doing them good by telling them "its ok" or leading them to believe that THEIR behavior is OK in their relationship. An anonymous 3rd party opinion is often refreshing, I feel.
 

Rock_of_Love

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
1,274
Diamond advice? Yes. Cooking tips/advice/recipes? Yes. Shopping advice/ideas? Yes.

Relationship advice? No.

 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
31,525
Date: 4/4/2009 11:53:50 AM
Author: mscushion

Date: 4/4/2009 11:20:11 AM
Author: equestrienne
Date: 4/4/2009 3:29:42 AM
Naughty, naughty, DF! You aren''t supposed to be in here with the impressionable young LIWs. You''re gonna get in trouble...
Yeah, DF, what are you doing in LIW??
just wanna introduce myself to LIW.
 

LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,365
Date: 4/4/2009 7:56:27 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3

... which is the same as many 'girlfriend' relationships women have throughout their lifetime. Why do you think there was such a big hype about 'hes just not that into you'? Validation is a huge part of social units and whether its from public forms, from your mom, from your best friend or from your cousins best friend's gay roommate. A lot of people search for reassurance in should it really matter if you get sugar coated information from a good girl friend who knows shes feeding you 'happy lies' or from an online identity? Although it may make it easier to feed happy lies more easily as an anonymous poster it also is much easier to tell it to people straight. I think some people need to hear what is written on this form because they're surrounded by too many people who think they're doing them good by telling them 'its ok' or leading them to believe that THEIR behavior is OK in their relationship. An anonymous 3rd party opinion is often refreshing, I feel.
I really love this forum, because it is a great opportunity for me to listen and learn from other women...
and when I first found PS, I was incredibly SURPRISED that there was a public place for women to go and just chat about - well, jewellery and nuptials - but also the stuff that really dominates our internal emotional lives (and our decision making processes), such as "WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GETTING MARRIED"???!!!

Throughout my entire twenties, I really REALLY struggled with this stuff!!!

Women are very often placed in a difficult situation regarding men, in this current culture, I feel.We have to 'act married' for about a million years before the guy finally rolls his eyes and signs the paper! Or we must cut our significant and mounting losses - oh, but no bitterness (!!)

I am only too happy to validate another woman's feelings in relation to this 'romantic experience' of long term dating. Gad, even the term LIW was an absolute REVELATION to me!

Until I met my husband (married before PS, came here when I was looking for my upgrade), I had only feedback from my friends telling me there was no other way than to wait, wait wait... and what was I, a princess??
My husband unwittingly proved them all wrong, bless his heart! *heart*
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 13, 2008
Messages
8,614
Date: 4/4/2009 7:56:27 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
Date: 4/4/2009 4:17:39 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 4/4/2009 8:45:43 AM


Author: Tuckins1


I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don't think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
BINGO!! Tuckins


... which is the same as many 'girlfriend' relationships women have throughout their lifetime. Why do you think there was such a big hype about 'hes just not that into you'? Validation is a huge part of social units and whether its from public forms, from your mom, from your best friend or from your cousins best friend's gay roommate. A lot of people search for reassurance in should it really matter if you get sugar coated information from a good girl friend who knows shes feeding you 'happy lies' or from an online identity? Although it may make it easier to feed happy lies more easily as an anonymous poster it also is much easier to tell it to people straight. I think some people need to hear what is written on this form because they're surrounded by too many people who think they're doing them good by telling them 'its ok' or leading them to believe that THEIR behavior is OK in their relationship. An anonymous 3rd party opinion is often refreshing, I feel.
Exactly... Not sure why your post seems so adversarial to me. That's exactly what I meant...
Everybody looks for validation in their lives. It's human nature.
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Yes. I base all my life decisions upon what the PS Gods advise.
 

icekid

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 17, 2004
Messages
7,470
Date: 4/5/2009 9:10:14 PM
Author: musey
Yes. I base all my life decisions upon what the PS Gods advise.
musey- You''re lucky we didn''t advise you to marry DF! Be glad that we like you
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Date: 4/5/2009 9:31:27 PM
Author: icekid
Date: 4/5/2009 9:10:14 PM
Author: musey
Yes. I base all my life decisions upon what the PS Gods advise.
musey- You''re lucky we didn''t advise you to marry DF! Be glad that we like you
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah musey, you got off easy!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 4/5/2009 10:25:35 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Date: 4/5/2009 9:31:27 PM
Author: icekid
Date: 4/5/2009 9:10:14 PM
Author: musey
Yes. I base all my life decisions upon what the PS Gods advise.
musey- You''re lucky we didn''t advise you to marry DF! Be glad that we like you
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah musey, you got off easy!
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
31,525
Date: 4/5/2009 9:31:27 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 4/5/2009 9:10:14 PM
Author: musey
Yes. I base all my life decisions upon what the PS Gods advise.
musey- You''re lucky we didn''t advise you to marry DF! Be glad that we like you
hey,at least i love diamonds.
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
3,881
I look at PS as outsourcing for issues. I like to sometimes bounce thoughts off of people who are not personally invested in the players. I take the advice with a grain of salt, because again, they don''t know the players. If you are so easily influenced that anything someone tells you, you listen to, you should probably stay off of the net!
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Three-stone engagement ring upgrade
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    Vintage OEC Bracelet
    June’s Birthstone Trinity
    June’s Birthstone Trinity

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top