- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33,852
do women really take advice from a public forum?
- Thread starter Dancing Fire
- Start date
- Status
chocolatefudge
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2007
- Messages
- 383
For me, I read the advice carefully and take it into consideration BUT I think it would be foolish to take a large step, such as end a relationship, simply from advice given in a forum. No matter how good a person''s intention, they do not know the full story when replying to a thread.
If you were already considering taking an action and everyone else seemed to be backing up what you thought then this may help with your decision, however, I think to take drastic action simply from advice given from someone who does not really know you could be a bad step. I think that advice given on here is very helpful as it enables you to look at your dilemma from number of different angles, giving YOU the opportunity to decide what to do.
If you were already considering taking an action and everyone else seemed to be backing up what you thought then this may help with your decision, however, I think to take drastic action simply from advice given from someone who does not really know you could be a bad step. I think that advice given on here is very helpful as it enables you to look at your dilemma from number of different angles, giving YOU the opportunity to decide what to do.
gwendolyn
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2007
- Messages
- 6,770
bee*
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 14, 2006
- Messages
- 12,169
iheartscience
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2007
- Messages
- 12,111
Tuckins1
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Messages
- 8,614
I think PEOPLE who post serious topics about life decisions (for the most part) have already made up their minds, and are just looking for validation. Sometimes people do agree with them, so the poster feels validated and supported in his/her decision. Sometimes (as has happened of late) the poster does not get the response he/she is looking for, and becomes defensive and upset. I don''t think that anyone is going to let perfect strangers make serious life decisions FOR them, they are just looking for validation for what they have already decided to do.
laughwithme
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2008
- Messages
- 667
I think each person comes to forums for their own, different reasons. Some women come to vent, others come to get/share ideas, some are killing time, and some want general opinions and answers (so yes, to "get advice") - one good example is my recent thread, "would you rather attend a ballroom or country club reception?" I mean, if I want the perspective of the average person, or the majority, yet I don''t feel appropriate asking 20 or 50 people in my life, this is the perfect place to do it. Posters on forums are often times more honest and objective than in real life because they aren''t worried about hurting your feelings, and they don''t feel bothered or annoyed since the reason THEY are here is to ask/answer questions too.
gwendolyn
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2007
- Messages
- 6,770
LaraOnline
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
- Messages
- 3,365
LaraOnline
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
- Messages
- 3,365
"Do women really take advice from a public forum?"
I notice a lot of men come here too for advice from a public forum. "How should I propose?" and my personal favorite "I have thousands of dollars to spend on an ering. Please help me people I have never met."
I''m just saying. PS seems to be pretty equal opportunity for gender advice given and taken.
I notice a lot of men come here too for advice from a public forum. "How should I propose?" and my personal favorite "I have thousands of dollars to spend on an ering. Please help me people I have never met."
I''m just saying. PS seems to be pretty equal opportunity for gender advice given and taken.
girlie-girl
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 29, 2008
- Messages
- 819
I have to agree with Tuckins1's explanation. Sometimes people just need to know there are others out there who feel the same way they do before they're able to take action. No matter if they take the advice or not, at the least I think it helps the poster take a deep look inside themselves and/or their relationship.
Mannequin
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2006
- Messages
- 1,733
mrscushion
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2008
- Messages
- 3,309
FrekeChild
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2007
- Messages
- 19,456
ilovesparkles
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2006
- Messages
- 2,389
Callisto
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2009
- Messages
- 1,152
I think sometimes it''s just nice to hear other people''s opinions on things to get a different perspective. In the forum''s I''ve read a lot of people had mentioned things I hadn''t really thought of, or phrased something in a way that really stuck with me. I agree I don''t think anyone is making major life altering decisions based on advice from a forum but there are definitely little tips and such that I think people genuinely consider and help them find their own perspective.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2008
- Messages
- 3,617
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33,852
SailorsSweet<3
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2008
- Messages
- 723
Date: 4/4/2009 4:17:39 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
BINGO!! Tuckins
... which is the same as many "girlfriend" relationships women have throughout their lifetime. Why do you think there was such a big hype about "hes just not that into you"? Validation is a huge part of social units and whether its from public forms, from your mom, from your best friend or from your cousins best friend's gay roommate. A lot of people search for reassurance in should it really matter if you get sugar coated information from a good girl friend who knows shes feeding you "happy lies" or from an online identity? Although it may make it easier to feed happy lies more easily as an anonymous poster it also is much easier to tell it to people straight. I think some people need to hear what is written on this form because they're surrounded by too many people who think they're doing them good by telling them "its ok" or leading them to believe that THEIR behavior is OK in their relationship. An anonymous 3rd party opinion is often refreshing, I feel.
Rock_of_Love
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2009
- Messages
- 1,274
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33,852
LaraOnline
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2008
- Messages
- 3,365
I really love this forum, because it is a great opportunity for me to listen and learn from other women...
and when I first found PS, I was incredibly SURPRISED that there was a public place for women to go and just chat about - well, jewellery and nuptials - but also the stuff that really dominates our internal emotional lives (and our decision making processes), such as "WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GETTING MARRIED"???!!!
Throughout my entire twenties, I really REALLY struggled with this stuff!!!
Women are very often placed in a difficult situation regarding men, in this current culture, I feel.We have to 'act married' for about a million years before the guy finally rolls his eyes and signs the paper! Or we must cut our significant and mounting losses - oh, but no bitterness (!!)
I am only too happy to validate another woman's feelings in relation to this 'romantic experience' of long term dating. Gad, even the term LIW was an absolute REVELATION to me!
Until I met my husband (married before PS, came here when I was looking for my upgrade), I had only feedback from my friends telling me there was no other way than to wait, wait wait... and what was I, a princess??
My husband unwittingly proved them all wrong, bless his heart! *heart*
Tuckins1
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Messages
- 8,614
Date: 4/4/2009 7:56:27 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
Date: 4/4/2009 4:17:39 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
BINGO!! Tuckins
... which is the same as many 'girlfriend' relationships women have throughout their lifetime. Why do you think there was such a big hype about 'hes just not that into you'? Validation is a huge part of social units and whether its from public forms, from your mom, from your best friend or from your cousins best friend's gay roommate. A lot of people search for reassurance in should it really matter if you get sugar coated information from a good girl friend who knows shes feeding you 'happy lies' or from an online identity? Although it may make it easier to feed happy lies more easily as an anonymous poster it also is much easier to tell it to people straight. I think some people need to hear what is written on this form because they're surrounded by too many people who think they're doing them good by telling them 'its ok' or leading them to believe that THEIR behavior is OK in their relationship. An anonymous 3rd party opinion is often refreshing, I feel.
Exactly... Not sure why your post seems so adversarial to me. That's exactly what I meant...
Everybody looks for validation in their lives. It's human nature.
icekid
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2004
- Messages
- 7,476
FrekeChild
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2007
- Messages
- 19,456
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 33,852
trillionaire
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 3,881
I look at PS as outsourcing for issues. I like to sometimes bounce thoughts off of people who are not personally invested in the players. I take the advice with a grain of salt, because again, they don''t know the players. If you are so easily influenced that anything someone tells you, you listen to, you should probably stay off of the net!
- Status
300x240.png)