Do we as members have the right to police PS?

[Dancing Fire]

If I see a thread/posts that I don't agree with should I report it to the admin?

FYI, I had never reported a single post since I became a member. b/c I don't think is my job to be a policeman on PS.

 

[Musia]

Do we as members have the right to insult someone, call names, discriminate based on political views? Give vent to our anger and frustrations, lecture others, judge? Is there a rule for everyone to behave respectfully and be well mannered? If not, then no need to report any thread or post. If yes, then any PS member has the right to use the Report Concern button. I personally reported only 1 spam thread since joining PS.

If some member asks for advice on whether to report a very bad behaving neighbor to police or not, what people would be advising? Pack your belongings and move away? In the worst case scenario the person would do that, but there are some options available for trying first, right? Why most of us have self control and usually demonstrate civil behavior in restaurants, at the office, on a plane, in a store but not here? When I posted on political threads, I didn't expect everyone's approval, I didn't expect that everyone or even single person would agree, but I also didn't expect being personally attacked and confronted offensively. Some people would advise not to report, but put the rude person on ignore. Do this, why start the separate thread asking everyone for an advise whether to put that one particularly annoying supporter of You Know Who on ignore or not? Wasn't it harassment and bullying? Was it necessary?

I hope all of you who want to participate in unmoderated political discussion group get what you are seeking, a real freedom of speech and expression. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Queenie60]

I have reported one person many months ago as I felt bullied. If you or your opinion is not popular on PS, you will be insulted, and they will gang up on you.

 

[Tekate]

Absolutely! follow the rules. I plan to, fully.

 

[Calliecake]

@Queenie60, I’m sorry that you felt bullied on here. It’s a terrible feeling.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

This is so topical
I just saw a post from a new member and it came across as really bit##y - maybe im reading too much into it - but it just doesn't gell with me as ive found PS to have always been friendly

 

[Queenie60]

@Queenie60, I’m sorry that you felt bullied on here. It’s a terrible feeling.

Thank you Calliecake. I'm over it and decided to stay away from the politics and it worked!!!! Overall, I can't think of one PS'r that I dislike. Putting politics aside, I find that most on the forum think much like I do and are very nice people. I like you too!!!!

 

[Calliecake]

I like you too @Queenie60!!!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I don't report normal posts but i gotta admit i like being the first one to report spam !

 

[Karl_K]

If I see a thread/posts that violate forum rules should I report it to the admin?

Fixed that for you.
The answer is yes.

 

[GliderPoss]

I've only reported obvious spam / trolls. I think the mods have their job and I leave it to them.

 

[OboeGal]

Fixed that for you.
The answer is yes.

But that isn't really what he asked. He asked "thread/posts that I don't agree with." People seem to be getting reported for others not liking the content/tone without there being what could be considered by a consensus of users to be an outright violation of the terms of use. I think this gets to the crux of the point: some folks seem to be taking so much latitude with the terms of use that they are reporting things that they don't personally like or agree with, claiming that it's "hateful" or "offensive" and therefore a violation. They know if they bombard the poor mods enough that patience will understandably be lost and threads closed, and then - boom! - they are utterly in charge of what can be said here. (Just to be clear, I'm not critiquing moderator actions here.)

Frankly, just writing this post, I'm sitting here scared of what blowback I'm going to get just for saying this. Is that what we want here? Anywhere else I've ever been on the internet, what I just wrote would be unbelievably benign. Do we want users to be afraid to post simple things because they fear every detail and nuance of content and wording might get picked apart for possible offense to someone? Someone mentioned that they didn't want political threads because they were offended if they happened to see the title of one and it contained something they personally didn't agree was true. Is that a level of tolerance for others' opinions and beliefs that we want to cater to? At what point is intolerance for others going overboard?

I don't want to see people here being outright abusive to one another - but I do think something precious is lost if interactions here become so sanitized that we cannot be authentic with one another. Which means accepting that others will not always agree with us, and that others will be human and imperfect. Sometimes people will rub each other the wrong way, or even hurt each other a bit, because people do, but that can be worked through with continuing dialogue and openness, and those involved can grow a bit from that process. That is different than someone demonstrating a continuing or remorseless pattern of unkindness or intolerance to others.

Just my opinion.

ETA: Of course, ultimately, we don't have any power whatsoever here that the forum ownership and mods don't choose to grant to us.

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

I agree with you 1,000% @OboeGal. It doesn't make sense that people like Karl have appointed themselves as hall monitors. I find it INCREDIBLY irksome that he, and others, want to dictate how the rest of us should behave or communicate. I've seen THOUSANDS of inane or offensive posts on PS over the years and have never reported a single one. If I don't like a subject, I back out and move on to another thread. I've NEVER felt entitled to dictate what anyone else is or isn't talking about. For example, I think the MMD forum shouldn't even be on here because they're not real diamonds, they're man-made. IMO, that subject doesn't belong on a diamond forum, it belongs on an MMD or synthetic/simulant forum. If you disagree with my opinion on MMDs, that's fine, you can go pound sand. The point is, most of us don't go around dictating what PS should and should not be.

Don't be scared of the blowback @OboeGal, stay true to your beliefs. I did on that thread with @jeaniefish that upset some regulars....I live according to my resolute convictions and no one, not even "friends", will ever sway me from that, regardless of the cost, otherwise I'd just be a sheeple. Don't be a sheeple.

There IS a small group of malignant millennials here that I'd prefer not to interact with because they gang up on others, but they've been surprisingly absent for the past month or so....thankfully.

What's MOST surprising is that people expect PS to be different than real life. IRL, people are RUDE, self-centered , opinionated and callous. People from outside our country opining on what we, as Americans, should or should not be talking about, or commenting on perceived offensive posts is pointless and wrong. I don't GAFF what foreigners think about our country or politics.

If a thread subject doesn't appeal to someone, DON'T OPEN IT. How would they know if anything therein is offensive if you're not looking???? I don't go into the MMD or Proposal fora because I'm not interested. There could be gladiator fights going on in there and I would never know. I think the individuals causing these problems are suffering from some sort of entitlement that makes them think they can control others' behaviors.

 

[1ofakind]

I don't want to see people here being outright abusive to one another - but I do think something precious is lost if interactions here become so sanitized that we cannot be authentic with one another.

And if being authentic shows someone to be abusive, hateful, intolerant, a bully?
Some people here are this way even with moderators, rules and the risk of a ‘timeout’ for their behavior.
I don’t report posts because I prefer for these ‘authentic’ posters show their colors even if I am the target of their abusive behavior. I do feel bad when others are the target though...much more so than for myself.

some folks seem to be taking so much latitude with the terms of use that they are reporting things that they don't personally like or agree with, claiming that it's "hateful" or "offensive" and therefore a violation.

This just reflects the overall state of politics right now. There is little recognition that another point of view may have merit...and it seems pretty one sided. Some have stated that they are cutting people out of their lives who support ‘the other side’. Even if they would never call oit a specific poster, some are pretty comfortable with blanket statements that paint the other side as all being (fill in demeaning adjectives here).
It’s happening in workplaces, families and friend groups...and here as well. That leaves little room for actual meaningful dialogue.

 

[1ofakind]

I find it INCREDIBLY irksome that he, and others, want to dictate how the rest of us should behave or communicate. I've seen THOUSANDS of inane or offensive posts on PS over the years and have never reported a single one.

Respectfully, it is the forum rules that dictate how we (all members) should behave and communicate on this forum. Karl nor anyone else have appointed themselves as monitors....Members are asked to report objectionable posts. Moderators have the discretion to make the final determination but they can not read every post in every thread. It is not wrong of those members who properly use the report button as laid out in the forum rules and I don’t resent anyone for doing so...even though I choose not to report anything but spam.

 

[OboeGal]

And if being authentic shows someone to be abusive, hateful, intolerant, a bully?
Some people here are this way even with moderators, rules and the risk of a ‘timeout’ for their behavior.
I don’t report posts because I prefer for these ‘authentic’ posters show their colors even if I am the target of their abusive behavior. I do feel bad when others are the target though...much more so than for myself.


This just reflects the overall state of politics right now. There is little recognition that another point of view may have merit...and it seems pretty one sided. Some have stated that they are cutting people out of their lives who support ‘the other side’. Even if they would never call oit a specific poster, some are pretty comfortable with blanket statements that paint the other side as all being (fill in demeaning adjectives here).
It’s happening in workplaces, families and friend groups...and here as well. That leaves little room for actual meaningful dialogue.

I think if being authentic shows someone to have a continuing pattern of being abusive, hateful, intolerant, or a bully, and they are not receptive to in-thread pushback from other users by showing a real attempt to modify their behavior over time, than yes, in my opinion, it's appropriate to report and more steps be taken.

I've never reported anyone myself, for several reasons. I agree that it is helpful sometimes to know who people really are even in the consistently negative, and I'm more inclined to push back at them directly in-thread if I think their behavior is bullying to another. That's helpful to the person bullied, as well, to directly see others standing up for and supporting them. That said, I've not personally witnessed someone here show a pattern of consistently abusive behavior to an extent that I would have considered reporting them. Consistently annoying to me personally? Certainly! Consistently in disagreement with me? Yup! Consistently trying to be obnoxious? Absolutely! But of course, accepting those things in people around me is part of life and nothing that I feel is remotely worthy of reporting. I don't like it, but they're not doing repeated harm. I can choose to either address them about it, or just decide that's not "the hill I want to die on" and scroll on by.

I guess I see reporting to mods as something that should be saved for egregious and repeat offenses, and that lower-level issues can be handled directly with one another. That gives everyone a chance to understand one another's perspective better if they're at all open to that and to grow. And sometimes, we all just have moments where we lose it a bit and aren't our normal selves, and I think there should be some allowance for that. People can forget, too - I know there are times I've cussed in a post here not because I don't care about the rules or desire to offend others, but just because I do cuss some in my day-to-day life and it occasionally slips my mind in the heat of posting about something that it's against the rules here. In such a case, all I need is a friendly reminder from someone, and I would apologize and try to fix it. I also come from the perspective of having spent enough time on places like Facebook and Reddit to find even the most snarky discourse here utterly tame in comparison!

 

[Queenie60]

I think if being authentic shows someone to have a continuing pattern of being abusive, hateful, intolerant, or a bully, and they are not receptive to in-thread pushback from other users by showing a real attempt to modify their behavior over time, than yes, in my opinion, it's appropriate to report and more steps be taken.

I've never reported anyone myself, for several reasons. I agree that it is helpful sometimes to know who people really are even in the consistently negative, and I'm more inclined to push back at them directly in-thread if I think their behavior is bullying to another. That's helpful to the person bullied, as well, to directly see others standing up for and supporting them. That said, I've not personally witnessed someone here show a pattern of consistently abusive behavior to an extent that I would have considered reporting them. Consistently annoying to me personally? Certainly! Consistently in disagreement with me? Yup! Consistently trying to be obnoxious? Absolutely! But of course, accepting those things in people around me is part of life and nothing that I feel is remotely worthy of reporting. I don't like it, but they're not doing repeated harm. I can choose to either address them about it, or just decide that's not "the hill I want to die on" and scroll on by.

I guess I see reporting to mods as something that should be saved for egregious and repeat offenses, and that lower-level issues can be handled directly with one another. That gives everyone a chance to understand one another's perspective better if they're at all open to that and to grow. And sometimes, we all just have moments where we lose it a bit and aren't our normal selves, and I think there should be some allowance for that. People can forget, too - I know there are times I've cussed in a post here not because I don't care about the rules or desire to offend others, but just because I do cuss some in my day-to-day life and it occasionally slips my mind in the heat of posting about something that it's against the rules here. In such a case, all I need is a friendly reminder from someone, and I would apologize and try to fix it. I also come from the perspective of having spent enough time on places like Facebook and Reddit to find even the most snarky discourse here utterly tame in comparison!

Very well said. However, in my honest opinion - if you don't have a lot of friends and popularity here on PS, as well as people with the same political thoughts, the person posting against your opinion in a harsh way is not going to receive a "friendly reminder" from another PS'r. I've attempted to state my opinion on threads and have been attacked by not only one, but several people. It even went as far as one person posting memes and calling me a "troll". Very much bullying in my opinion. Also, be advised that I am not against all of you having your own forum and am of the belief that this could solve the problem. I have solved my own personal problem by not posting on political threads. This has made my PS life a whole lot better. Again, not an argument, just my opinion. Thank you for listening.

 

[Snowdrop13]

What's MOST surprising is that people expect PS to be different than real life. IRL, people are RUDE, self-centered , opinionated and callous. People from outside our country opining on what we, as Americans, should or should not be talking about, or commenting on perceived offensive posts is pointless and wrong. I don't GAFF what foreigners think about our country or politics.

Surely this is an international forum where there are lots of posters who are not American? Is it not interesting to know how your country is perceived across the world? Some of the political threads have been a real eye opener to me about what Americans think. And also how THEY see the rest of the world- like those of us living in “socialist” countries with universal health care and higher taxes.

 

[dk168]

I report the spams all the time, yes.

And I would definitely report a post if I believe it is derogatory/rude/nasty/etc., that is not in the spirit of PS.

I don't report often as I don't like to read the political threads, after coming across some really heated arguments that turned nasty some time ago.

DK

 

[Dancing Fire]

For now on if any PSer post a pic of an ugly ring, dog or cat I'm gonna report you...

 

[MollyMalone]

Well, I've hit the Report Concern button 3-4 times in the past year after a PSer has "crossed the pale" imo more than once in close temporal proximity in a political thread. Not simply expostulating, or speaking passionately, but rather using language directed at other poster(s) that was really abusive, rabid even. Were they in my home, I'd be asking them to leave. But I'm not the host of PS, so I flagged Ella, leaving it to her to decide, what if anything, should happen.

I did not click the Report Concern button because of the subject matter or because I disagreed with the poster's views on the thread topic. In all candor, my clicking on that button was prompted more often, but not entirely, by posts from those whose political views are closer to where I am on the socio-political spectrum (altho' there is one Trump supporter whose posts I stopped reading some months ago because I found them so aggravating -- and no, that's not you, @Dancing Fire )

What's MOST surprising is that people expect PS to be different than real life. IRL, people are RUDE, self-centered , opinionated and callous. People from outside our country opining on what we, as Americans, should or should not be talking about, or commenting on perceived offensive posts is pointless and wrong. I don't GAFF what foreigners think about our country or politics.
* * * I think the individuals causing these problems are suffering from some sort of entitlement that makes them think they can control others' behaviors.

I don't understand why, in light of the Forum Policy page, you are surprised that "people expect PS to be different" than those in your real life.

And I cannot agree that Psers outside the US have no business opining here. That kind of close-minded demand strikes me as the "sort of entitlement" you've denounced as reflecting an unseemly desire to "control others' behaviors."

 

[MollyMalone]

I don't report normal posts but i gotta admit i like being the first one to report spam !

You and @OoohShiny are the best at that, thank you!!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

You and @OoohShiny are the best at that, thank you!!

I think for me its a time zone thing
but i get so cranky seeing stupid blatant completly not jewlery related spam

 

[Missy]

I believe in free speech and I like to hear what others are thinking. Not just people who live in the USA but I want to hear what people all over the world are thinking about us and about their political system and their lives. How they enjoy living where they live and the pros and cons of each different country and region. I appreciate hearing all points of view. Even those points of view with which I do not agree. I do not appreciate people attacking others and I do not appreciate people ganging up on others. Regardless of one's political affiliation. I have witnessed bad behavior here and it is not pleasant and it is not OK.

I have only ever reported spam (so much spam) and one post of mine because I inadvertently broke the rules by calling a member by their original PS screen name. I have never reported anyone else's posts.

I don't think we should report posts because we don't agree with or like what they wrote. I don't want to be a policeman. I do not want to be a net nanny. I want to live in a country and world where we can share our true thoughts and ideas civilly and work towards a better future for our children. They deserve a better future than what we currently are leaving them.

It is distasteful to me to censor others. I agree with the following sentiment. I might not agree with what you have to say but I will defend your right to say it.

Unfortunately there are some posters who take it upon themselves to censor others and who take it upon themselves to report posts that should not be reported. However, bullying should never be tolerated and for those of you who have experienced bullying I am sorry. That is NOT OK. Ever.

 

[dk168]

Agree with @missy that bullying in any form is nasty and should never be tolerated.

I have not personally experienced any bullying on PS, and would not have hesitated to fight my own corner in the open, as well as to report it to PS Admin.

DK

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Regarding the original post: there is nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree. When things deteriorate into personal attacks (libel), insults or hate mongering, some posts should be reported.

 

[chemgirl]

I think it’s great that we can report posts. It doesn’t automatically get the poster in trouble, but directs the mods attention to a potential issue.

I was a member of another forum where we could not easily report posts. It became a toxic place when a group of self-proclaimed red pill alpha men took over. One of them kept insisting that another man force his wife to have an abortion and suggested tactics to manipulate her into doing so. The OP started the thread because he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father. When he pushed back, he was called weak and beta, told his wife was going to go out and screw other people because she can’t possibly be attracted to him etc. I was told that my opinion doesn’t matter because I’m a woman over 35 and as such have zero value. I’m dry and used up. One of the more diplomatic posters tried to be sympathetic, but still insisted that my time had passed and no man would ever want me because even if I still can have kids they’d be disabled...this was a forum for a technical hobby that I’m part of, not dating or relationships!

It was a team of maybe 5-10 of these men, but they completely ruined the forum for a lot of us.

We’re lucky to have such great mods here. There are differences of opinion, but in general PS is one of the nicer places on the internet.

 

[Skyjems]

I have taken part in online communities since the early 90s with BBSs.

It's my opinion that not only do members have the right to police the forums, they have a RESPONSIBILITY to police the forums.

Same as reporting crimes in your physical community, it's all or our responsibility to keep an online community clean (of spam) and safe (from bullies or financial predators)

IMHO PS has done an excellent job, the only forum I know of with the same quality is a bicycle forum I have taken part in.

 

[Tekate]

Only one person? I felt bullied, harrassed and picked on by at least 6 posters here, but I never reported one of them, and not just about politics, my opinion was smashed, hurtful remarks were made ganged up on!!! yes and it was painful and hurtful and I would never let that happen again on here because while I was Ms nice guy people were reporting me it seems. today i will report anyone who I think violates TOS - in a heart beat, a nano.

I have reported one person many months ago as I felt bullied. If you or your opinion is not popular on PS, you will be insulted, and they will gang up on you.

 

[Tekate]

For now on if any PSer post a pic of an ugly ring, dog or cat I'm gonna report you...

Bathing Suits etc are out.

1. Nicknames or posts that we feel are inflammatory, vulgar, promotional, or rude will be removed.
2. Inflammatory, rude, arrogant and obnoxious behavior will not be tolerated from anyone. Should anyone use inappropriate language, start a personal attack, or engage in hate speech, they will be banned from all further discussions.
3. 1. Post(s)/Link(s) with adult content, pages with links to adult content, near adult content (including model and swimsuit sites), or messages describing anything against the law will be removed as soon as possible. (I take this as ANY bathing suits that gross, are of adult content are not allowed so BOLO)

now they also have this as a rule..

1. Do not use this forum to organize group meetings with any vendor or start vendors’ “fan clubs” or the like.

So I will be on the lookout for this too.. we must follow the rules as stated, fair enough.