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Do I have a problem?

nala

nala

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
7,444
So I thought long and hard about posting this thread Bc I almost already fear the responses. But, I'd like to hear multiple perspectives to see if I'm being too hard on myself. Here goes: in the past 13 years, I have taken on a new form of entertainment. I love going to Indian casinos or Vegas for the sake of gambling. Indian casinos are about an hour from where I live, so I frequent them more than Vegas. Like every weekend. Vegas, we go to at least 4 times a year. I'm not looking for permission when I share this. I'm looking to see if I'm addicted. Lol. Many of the addiction quizzes online all seem to measure addiction by the amount of losses one hits. So if I've lost beyond my means, I'm addicted. Here's the thing. I don't lose beyond a set amount Bc 9 times out of 10, I stop gambling. I've never gone into debt for gambling or anything else (besides my house and my car) for that matter. I guess that I'm concerned about the 9 of 10 not being 10 of 10.

Also, I give gambling preference over other modes of entertainment. I'm not the girly type who goes to a spa or likes massages. Not for me. I don't spend money on nails or make up or hair Bc I cringe at the thought of spending time doing that. I don't like going dancing or to the theater. I don't like sporting events. Never have. At my age, I have tried lots of forms of entertainment. So hubby and I found our new pastime. We do it together. We share a machine and talk and laugh and dine for free or get free hotel rooms as comps.

I have to say that I realize that I could spend my gambling money on other fun stuff, but I seem to enjoy the experience of the casino more than anything else. There. I said it. Most of my friends think that I'm crazy to love the casino.

I'm sitting here reflecting Bc last night was 9 out of 10. It's like I didn't want to leave the casino. So we lost 500 dollars. First time in months that we do that. On a weekly basis, we don't lose more than 200 total. I'm being totally transparent Bc I'm don't think the amounts are excessive. I think they compare to other modes of entertainment. I reason that it's a night out and it includes a fabulous dinner! We get comped at several casino's high-end restaurant.

Anyhow. Let me have it!:oops: Am I way off about what a night out costs? Or Am I making excuses for my gambling? I wish I knew how to change the title to: reality check
 
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This is my take, if you aren't neglecting other areas of your life for gambling (bills are paid, kids are taken care of etc) then I don't see this as a problem. This is your hobby and it's how you choose to spend your money then more power to you.

Here is the real question, could you stop if you needed to? If you can honestly answer yes to that then I say enjoy yourself.
 
I think you're addicted to the thrill of the possibility of making more. Is it wrong? not necessarily.

My mother loves to go to the casinos. she's a slot girl, She loses roughly 100 dollars a month. That should tell you something right there...lol She wins more than she loses and she goes because she likes the atmosphere. She doesn't drink. free drinks are wasted on her (she gets a diet coke basically!!) and she gets offered all kinds of trips to Vegas and so on. Its exciting to her. If she was gambling and losing the mortgage money and still trying to rob Peter to feed the need, then yes she'd have a gambling problem.

IMO as long as you realize you have a stopping point and STOP, you're good. If you go beyond that stopping point, using money that you would use for necessities for "just one more hit" then you're on your way to a problem. that "hit" can mean anything, a drink, a smoke, food, perfume, piece of jewelry...anything.

we all have our vices, and thats not a bad thing. This whole site was built upon a vice.:shock: =)2 How you manage that vice is what gets called to question.

Good on you for being transparent and being able to handle the feedback. That takes serious guts.
 
I think you're treading a thin line. So far, you have been responsible and set and kept limits. You're okay wtih spending what sounds like around $200/week or $800/month or $9600/year on this form of entertainment. Is someone in your circle questioning you, or are you questioning yourself? You could always switch it up and see if other things are as satisfying.

That said, it may become a problem. My grandfather had a gambling problem. My mother HAD to buy lottery tickets, and had an elaborate "system" for doing so. She'd win and she wouldn't. The worrying part to me, that I'll never forget, is that she was always chasing that one big win that she just knew would happen and solve all her problems. Of course it never happened. For that reason, I never buy lottery tickets.

I personally can't gamble. I enjoy card games and luck things, but only if there's no money involved. Would you like the games if there was no money or "winning" involved? Back in the day, the social scene was people getting together to play cards and socialize. I grew up with that. I get that it can be fun. I just can't ever convince myself that risking actual $ instead of buying a tangible item, is worth the risk. But I don't see it as entertainment either, because to me it would be too stressful, and it brings up bad memories of my grandfather and mom. YMMV.
 
I agree with @StephanieLynn, could you stop if you needed to? Perhaps you and DH should take a break for a month just to see if you can. Put the $$ towards other forms of entertainment and at the end of the break see if the casino is still #1 on your list for fun.
 
In case it helps, here's the DSM (diagnostic manual of disorders) criteria of gambling disorder:


  1. Persistent and recurrent problematic gambling behavior leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as indicated by the individual exhibiting four (or more) of the following in a 12-month period:
    1. Needs to gamble with increasing amounts of money in order to achieve the desired excitement.
    2. Is restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop gambling.
    3. Has made repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop gambling.
    4. Is often preoccupied with gambling (e.g., having persistent thoughts of reliving past gambling experiences, handicapping or planning the next venture, thinking of ways to get money with which to gamble).
    5. Often gambles when feeling distressed (e.g., helpless, guilty, anxious, depressed).
    6. After losing money gambling, often returns another day to get even (“chasing” one’s losses).
    7. Lies to conceal the extent of involvement with gambling.
    8. Has jeopardized or lost a significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunity because of gambling.
    9. Relies on others to provide money to relieve desperate financial situations caused by gambling.

I think the biggest part of this criteria to keep in mind is lack of control over one's gambling, and gambling getting in the way of daily life (e.g. lying about it, jeopardizing job/education because of it). Also, the fact that one has tried and failed to stop gambling, and that the amounts keep going up in order to get the same "rush" (kind of like how people with problem drinking end up needing to drink more and more to get drunk).

I don't think you've reached this level yet, although it's something to keep an eye on. Just my 2 cents on it though. It's a good sign that you are aware of the fact that this might become an issue, because that way hopefully you would see/recognize if more of these signs apply.
 
You're not addicted if you're setting a loss limit on each trip to the casino and living within your means. If you were cashing out your retirement fund or your kid's college fund in order to gamble it would be a different story.
 
Imho, you asking this makes me think that *you* feel deep down that you are having problems, regardless of any definition or quizz on the Internet. That would make me worried. If I were you I would completely ban gaming for two or even six months to see how that makes you feel. If you cant stop for that long you may have a problem.
Banning gaming for six months could be a great opportunity to explore other things to do in life, maybe find a nice new hobby, regardless if you decide to start gaming again after that time.
Just my 2c :wavey:
 
Hi Nala,

I also enjoy casinos. I love Las Vegas. I go once or twice a year. I don't enjoy the local ones as much but might go once or twice a year as well. I usually lose between 200 or 300 dollars, but have won 600.oo on a few occasions. Most of the time I lose about 100. When In Vegas if I lose 100- in a day, I stop until the next day . I stay in vegas 5 nites, so I bring 500 to lose. I am embarrassed to tell people how much and often I go to Vegas. I never gambled until I was old and had extra money. I can afford to lose it if it happens. Meanwhile I still enjoy it. You don't sound addicted.

Annette
 
I'm writing this from the pool in Vegas as we speak. Like you, I budget a certain amount that in ok with losing, but... last night my husband and I lost $300. I still have a bit more in the budget since we are here until Wednesday, but I had many opportunities to walk away last night and didn't. I think you're at least very aware of your feeling about the gambling, which is good. I agree with a previous poster that in my opinion you're kind of walking the line, but I also spent $200 on dinner last night, so honestly the gambling seemed more reasonable than the food as far as getting entertainment value!
 
This is your preference of entertainment. As long as you are meeting your financial/life obligations, then I suppose it's okay. Difficult for me to comment more extensively as I don't enjoy gambling and casinos. I prefer to have something tangible for my money that I can enjoy for a long period of time. We all see things differently - if this is what you find to be entertaining then so be it. However, they're comping hotel rooms to you? Wow, I thought that was only directed towards those who spend excessive amounts gambling? But what do I know?
 
Having known may people with addictions, the best advice I can personally give is stop for a while (like a month) and see how you feel. If you are questioning it you are already walking a fine line. The only way to truly know is to fall on one side or the other. And the safest side is to stop temporarily to see what it fees like and then make a judgement call from there.

Hope that helps!
 
Wow! I'm truly humbled by those of you who took the time to respond. I can't answer each person individually, but I want to add that: i never go to casino without my hubby. I won't do an hour drive by myself, much less to Vegas. So, when he is busy, I have no problem finding other modes of entertainment. Does that change things a bit?
 
It doesn't sound like your very addicted to it yet.
Im thinking taking time off from it sounds like a good idea because you are questioning it.
Like having a no gambling month every other month.
If you ever find yourself rationalizing gambling, seek help.
 
Since you have used the word "addiction", I will share something often heard in AA meetings:
If you think you might have a problem, then you have a problem.
 
My mother had a gambling (and alcohol) problem when she was alive, but my aunt and uncle (her brother) gamble regularly, and treat it as an expense that they would spend on entertainment otherwise. The difference is that my mother's finances were a mess, and she often used money she really didn't have to go to the casino. My aunt and uncle budget for gambling, like it is their entertainment budget they might spend on something else (expensive dinners or trips). Early on, I wondered if they also had a problem, but then I realized that their approach seems pretty reasonable; it's no different than spending too much money on dinners out or clothing really. Your approach seems similar to theirs.

Truthfully, I think only you can really say if you have a problem with gambling. People on here don't know you well enough to assess if you qualify as an addict. If the habit/hobby/interest is affecting your life in a negative way on a regular basis, then you likely do. If you can't stop doing it when you think you should, then you likely do. If not, you probably don't.

I commend you for your willingness to be honest and open on here and ask for genuine feedback - my personal opinion is that this is not the usual course of action for an addict (of anything). Having said that, addictions are usually progressive issues, so what might not be a problem right now, could be in the future. Hugs.
 
Your gut will tell you if you have a problem and truly only you can answer that question. You just have to be completely honest with yourself.
 
I think there have been many thoughtful replies in this thread and Nala, your postings have been extremely thoughtful. I do not want to weigh in on whether you are addicted because gambling is so foreign to me. I go to AA and identify with people who shop to excess, eat to excess, spend to excess (and go to Debtors Anonymous), take drugs, and do all manner of other things. When gamblers tell their stories, however, I find it hard to identify. But I have heard the stories of gamblers who have been helped by Gamblers Anonymous. It may sound like a kind of wild idea, but you could drop into a GA meeting and listen to people speak. It might tell you more about what they are like and let you talk to them after the meeting, too. Maybe it will help you sort out what an addicted gambler is like and what his story sometimes is.

Good luck!

Deb :wavey:
 
I do not enjoy gambling personally, but I had a friend who did and was very controlled and measured. She took X number of dollars to gamble with per trip.

Any money she won went into a separate envelope and was not used to gamble with on that trip. At whatever point the money she had allocated to gamble with was gone, she stopped and went home.

This way she never lost more than she was prepared to lose on any given trip, and winnings went home with her.

Would this work for you?
 
nala said:
I'm sitting here reflecting Bc last night was 9 out of 10. It's like I didn't want to leave the casino. So we lost 500 dollars. First time in months that we do that. On a weekly basis, we don't lose more than 200 total. I'm being totally transparent Bc I'm don't think the amounts are excessive. I think they compare to other modes of entertainment. I reason that it's a night out and it includes a fabulous dinner! We get comped at several casino's high-end restaurant.

Anyhow. Let me have it!:oops: Am I way off about what a night out costs? Or Am I making excuses for my gambling? I wish I knew how to change the title to: reality check
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That tells me you guys are "good fishes" to the casinos. I used to get comped by casinos including air fares whenever I wanted to go to Vegas. Nowadays I don't gamble much maybe b/c I used to gamble everyday when I was growing up and now I'm tire of it?.

There are a few Indian casinos within an hour from us and I have friends who goes to the casinos everyday and many of them have lost everything including a lot of properties that they used to owned. Some are paying sky high interest to loan sharks. So, yes IMO you do have a gambling problem b/c you use the word "entertainment" as an excuse to go gambling.
 
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Queenie60 said:
However, they're comping hotel rooms to you? Wow, I thought that was only directed towards those who spend excessive amounts gambling? But what do I know?
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Believe me that is not a good sign !!:nono:. I grew up as a gambler and the stories that I can tell you guys...:read:.

Remember this friend of mind? https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/showing-off-my-friends-1-23ct-g-si1-cbi-ring.229378/

Well, He works at a casino and about a month ago he decided to gamble after work and lost a lost of money. I had to bail him out with some $$$ before his wife found out about it. I am not talking about a few thousand bucks, think 5 figures ...:wall: . I told him to quit his casino job, b/c IMO it is not worth it for him to work there.
 
You guys have given me a lot to think about! I don't think that I'm addicted bc I'm not motivated enough to drive out to the casino or to take a chartered bus, even though they are close to me and free. But for some reason, I only rationalize this activity as a shared experience with my husband and my elderly mother. I'm going to look into finding other modes of entertainment as many of you suggested. That will be the real test! Thank you to all!
 
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