DNA family research - OMG stories

[Gussie]

My husband’s cousin recently dove into their family's history through 23 and me. Shocker is that my husband has either a half-sister or a 1st cousin that no one knew anything about! He and his sisters are in agreement that they want to let sleeping dogs lie. I don't know if the rest of his cousins will keep digging or not. Anyone else have interesting finds? Would you even want to know?

 

[Dandi]

We only found out last year that my hubby's dad is adopted. He has known since about the age of 20 (he found out purely by accident) and never told a soul...even his adoptive parents, my hubby's grandparents (non-biological as it turns out) ever knew. He is very matter of fact about it, he quite nonchalantly told us last year at a family gathering, and has never been remotely interested in discovering his heritage. Hubby on the other hand is most intrigued, and he has recently completed an ancestry/DNA kit to hopefully find out some info about his dad's biological family. We are really interested to know more!

 

[kenny]

No way!
I'd never submit my DNA to BIG DATA.

I could be denied a job or be denied health insurance because DNA can reveal increased odds of developing certain illnesses that would hurt the profits of the insurance company or employer.

But how, you might ask, can I not be curious about my family history?
It is so important because, to me, I'm so important.

Sure I'm curious.
But for me the cons outweigh the pros of putting my most private data into a system that cannot be trusted to guarantee 100% privacy for ever.
Data companies employ humans who could be tempted to access and sell your data.
Also, computers never forget, even after a company is sold, or goes bankrupt.

I don't trust the whole idea no matter what these companies claim when trying to convince you to send them your DNA and your money; too much money at stake.

Of course, as always, people vary so if you care to participate, enjoy.
But I do think it's prudent to first be aware of how your data may be used against you somehow someday.

 

[Gussie]

No way!
I'd never submit my DNA to BIG DATA.

I could be denied a job or be denied health insurance because DNA can reveal increased odds of developing certain illnesses that would hurt the profits of the insurance company or employer.

But how, you ask, can I not be curious about my family history?
It is so important because, to me, I'm so important.

Sure I'm curious.
But for me the cons outweigh the pros of putting my most private data into a system that cannot be trusted to guarantee 100% privacy for ever.
Companies employ humans who could be tempted to access and sell your data, and computers never forget, even after a company is sold, or goes bankrupt.

I don't trust the whole idea no matter what these companies claim when trying to convince you to send them your DNA and your money; too much money at stake.

Of course, as always, people vary so if you care to participate, enjoy.
But I do think it's prudent to first be aware of how your data may be used against you some day.

Agree 100%. I would NEVER submit my DNA, nor would my husband. I think it's crazy to freely give (actually pay for!!!) your genetic code to anyone. My sister did submit hers though and I read every word of the information lol.

 

[Calliecake]

@Gussie, You may want to Google “The day I found my daddy had another family Daily Mail“ and read the comment section before you make a decision.

Daily Mail ran a story the other day about a woman who found out her father lead a double life, had a secret family and she has a half sister with the same first name. She found out after her father died and now has a relationship with her half sister and brother. The comment section was filled with people saying this happens much more often then people realize. People commenting were telling their family OMG stories. Some were the same as in the article while others never knew their father was married before or fathered other children. Some people said they found out from their 23 and Me results. It has the potential of going really good or really bad. I don’t think I’d want to know.

 

[Avondale]

This sort of... recreative (?) DNA testing is only popular to this extent in the US, I believe, and... yeah, I would never in a million years simply donate such personal data to a private entity.

The YouTube channel Veritasium (it's centred around science and education, highly recommend) had a video on this subject somewhat recently and it's wildly interesting. I've timestamped the part which is most related to this discussion (it's about a minute and a half long), but the entire video is worth watching.

 

[kenny]

I've see that video.
FWIW, Vertasium is one of my favorite YT channels!
It's right up my alley, and I binge on it.

The host has a real skill for explaining some very complex science!

BTW, in above video notice the the Lab Director of Family Tree DNA, Dr. Connie Bormans does not use Google for her internet searches. Hmmm.
See video at 25:45.
She (like Kenny ) uses Duck Duck Go.
I this that woman knows a thing or two about the importance of protecting her privacy.

 

[Betty Baguette]

My OMG story. After 30 years of fruitless searching I finally found my biological father (and a half-sister) through Ancestry DNA. It was well worth it. Mind blowing and life altering, actually.

Afterwards I asked Ancestry to destroy the sample and delete the results, an option they give you.

BTW, many people who THINK they know their family tree are shocked to find out, for example, that their dad isn't their biological father. Some genetic genealogy researchers have put this figure at 10-30% of child-father pairs. (So there's a very strong chance that someone reading this is wrong about who they think their father is).

 

[Betty Baguette]

My husband’s cousin recently dove into their family's history through 23 and me. Shocker is that my husband has either a half-sister or a 1st cousin that no one knew anything about! He and his sisters are in agreement that they want to let sleeping dogs lie. I don't know if the rest of his cousins will keep digging or not. Anyone else have interesting finds? Would you even want to know?

Gussie, I think you might possibly be mistaken about your husband's relationship to these mystery relatives. Half-siblings share about 25% of their DNA (on average). First cousins share only about 12.5% (again, on average). There are other possibilities as well. See chart below from 23 and me. Happy mystery solving (or letting sleeping dogs lie)!:

https://eu.customercare.23andme.com...-Average-percent-DNA-shared-between-relatives

 

[MMtwo]

This is a hobby of mine and I have no problem sharing the data. If not for me, many of my cousins have it up, as well as the family tree (living folks are not shared). My tree has about 2,400 persons in it already.

I doubt it is interesting to anyone but me and mine. We did find a couple of very interesting twists on the tree, but everyone probably has skeletons here or there.
My grandfather's brother was born out of wedlock, the named father on the birth certificate is the wrong one - per DNA. A cousin found this out while researching.
The biological family opted not to have anything to do with him. I think the father was a married man. The young lady was very young, having the first child, then marrying a much older man and having two more children. That husband disappeared and supposedly he was in an explosion, but I can find nothing. No death, no record.

Also, a person looking for their birth father identified one of my uncles or half-uncles who has already passed (as she told me on follow-up, not naming the man). I suppose she opted not to cause any grief or pain to the family. Once she had that information, she stopped her search.

 

[Gussie]

@Betty Baguette , thanks for the info. I have no idea about any numbers. His 1st cousin was the one who researched this. There is more to the story than just DNA though. The possible half sibling or cousin traces back to a very tiny town in the Midwest where DH's paternal family is from. It is highly probable that the mystery person is indeed his half sibling or 1st cousin due to DNA match and the number of people in the small town. We suspect this may have even been known by some of the older relatives. Scandal!!!

 

[lala646]

Wild but true fact, I know not one, not two, but three people in my circle of friends who found out through Ancestry that their fathers were not their biological fathers. And it wasn't a good surprise for any of them. :/

 

[finerthings]

Wild but true fact, I know not one, not two, but three people in my circle of friends who found out through Ancestry that their fathers were not their biological fathers. And it wasn't a good surprise for any of them. :/

This is probably why I will never research my ancestry. The family that "raised" me is my family... no others are important to me. And as far as learning about health issues that may be in my genetic profile, I try to live a healthy life and don't want to know anything else... don't want to know my "shelf life."

 

[Dandi]

This is a hobby of mine and I have no problem sharing the data. If not for me, many of my cousins have it up, as well as the family tree (living folks are not shared). My tree has about 2,400 persons in it already.

I doubt it is interesting to anyone but me and mine. We did find a couple of very interesting twists on the tree, but everyone probably has skeletons here or there.
My grandfather's brother was born out of wedlock, the named father on the birth certificate is the wrong one - per DNA. A cousin found this out while researching.
The biological family opted not to have anything to do with him. I think the father was a married man. The young lady was very young, having the first child, then marrying a much older man and having two more children. That husband disappeared and supposedly he was in an explosion, but I can find nothing. No death, no record.

Also, a person looking for their birth father identified one of my uncles or half-uncles who has already passed (as she told me on follow-up, not naming the man). I suppose she opted not to cause any grief or pain to the family. Once she had that information, she stopped her search.

I find it all really fascinating. I hope we find out something about DH's heritage, he'd love to know even a bit about his ancestors. The potential benefits outweigh the remote risks for us. My oldest brother is adopted (mum had him out of wedlock and was forced to put him up for adoption, before she met dad and they married and had us), and meeting him was the most wonderful thing ever. He was elated to discover he had 3 blood siblings.

 

[Slickk]

I have a really cool story about this topic. It happened in my close but extended family.
Begins with a young high school couple, in the 1960’s, get pregnant. They give the baby girl up for adoption. The young man goes off to the service for a few years.
He returns and they rekindle their love and marry, have two children and proceed to have decades of a wonderful life and loving family.
That baby they placed up for adoption found them (through a sister of the mom who sent in 23&me) after all of those years, and they reunited with such heartwarming results. They cruised and vacationed together for the final three years of the couples’ life. So blessed to have found each other again and shortly before it would have been too late.

 

[MMtwo]

@Dandi and @Slickk that is the best possible outcome, to allow families to re-connect. I love that when it happens. I would be thrilled to meet someone who was reunited with the family.