Divorced friends getting me down

[Razz]

I don't know if this is a sign from above to change the people I am hanging out with, but most (if not all) of my friends are divorced and I am looking to get married, and they only have horrible stories to tell about their married life. I love my friends, but maybe it's time for a change, what do you think?

 

[Rhea]

I started to think that when all my friends had children. I get tired of hearing about their kids all the time. Rather than changing friends I've attempted to expand my friend group, just as they have by befriending other parents. I've joined a couple clubs and tried to make friends with child-free people. I still speak and talk to my friends who are parents. They've been friends for a long time and I plan to support them and listen to them just as they have to me about various stages of my life. This too shall pass. You could also try doing something a bit more positive and fun with your friends sometimes which doesn't allow them to solely focus on their divorce and to talk about other aspects of their lives.

 

[missy]

I agree with Rhea. Expand your social circle to include a wider range of friends and social acquaintances so you can get a more happy and balanced view of things. I have friends who are in very happy marriages (me included) and so I see it from both sides and I have to say if you are with the right partner there is no better choice in life than spending it with the one you love and are crazy about. And also yes take the focus off marriage when you are with these friends and talk about something else when with them.

I find when I am with people who are overly negative much of the time it brings me down so I like being around positive energy people. Not pollyannas per se but just people who are more upbeat and have a better balance of perspective and are more positive than negative.

 

[momhappy]

If you love your friends, why would change them? Everyone has different experiences (and that includes marriage and/or divorce). I wouldn't dump my friends over something like that. Maybe you could keep the friends you have, but add some new ones (that might share your opinions, lifestyle, etc.).

 

[dk168]

Friends come and go, those who stay are the ones who share the same outlook in life, and make the effort to stay in contact.

I do not stay in touch with those who do not make the effort to stay in touch.

I do not see the point of digging out old school or uni friends via social media as we do not have anything in common except for going to the same school or uni many years ago.

DK