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Divorce mediators in NYC

CrisM

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
153
Good morning, PSers. This is a post I would rather not write and it somehow doesn't seem to fit on these boards. But I know how resourceful this strong group of women is, so I'm hoping for help. My husband and I are only married six years and have a five year old boy. We were opposites from the start. Looking back I know now there were plenty of times when I ignored my gut feeling or didn't speak up for myself enough and unfortunately this is one of the factors that caused a pattern that was unhelpful. He's much closer to retirement than I am and is somewhat focused on what that will look like for him. But I'm not on the same schedule and we have a young child. The difference between what we both want in our lives is too great to reconcile. We've actually been to six different marriage counselors. We've tried.

He is a good person and a good dad. We're just not right for each other. We worked out a prenup fairly easily. It's my hope we can also work out a dissolution of the marriage amicably, especially if we use one mediator instead of two attorneys. I've searched online for NYC based mediators and while there quite a few, getting fulsome recommendations on any of them has been frustrating. Additionally, in order to maintain impartiality, no mediator will speak with one party without also speaking with the other. So an initial consultation with a mediator is actually not something that's done unless both parties are present. We actually haven't said to each other that we should get divorced though we sure have been on that edge a few times. It's really a matter of time and who will say it first. Neither of us wants to be the one.

My parents had a terrible marriage and should have separated when my brother and I were little. Instead, they hung on and it was a nightmare to witness. I don't want to put my son through that. I'd rather change our relationship to a sustainable partnership with our son's best interests at heart, before we become bitter with each other and poison the household with resentments.

Having said all of this as background, can anyone recommend a NYC based divorce mediator? Or perhaps you know a friend of a friend who went through the process successfully? A colleague, relative, neighbor?

Many thanks in advance.
 

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
33,257
Sorry I can't help with a recommendation for a mediator.
I just wanted to give you kudos for making the change.

I also was raised in a home where I and my 3 siblings begged our parents to get a divorce.
Things were so bad.

I salute you for protecting your child from that.

All the best to you.
 

CrisM

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2011
Messages
153
Thank you, Kenny. That means a lot. Hope you and your siblings are doing well now. It takes work and courage.
 

TooPatient

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
10,295
My mom and her 2nd husband just went through an attorney. He basically acted as mediator. Worked for both and was just there to do the paperwork and keep emotions down. That might be an option for you if you both have similar ideas of what goes where.
 
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