Good morning, PSers. This is a post I would rather not write and it somehow doesn't seem to fit on these boards. But I know how resourceful this strong group of women is, so I'm hoping for help. My husband and I are only married six years and have a five year old boy. We were opposites from the start. Looking back I know now there were plenty of times when I ignored my gut feeling or didn't speak up for myself enough and unfortunately this is one of the factors that caused a pattern that was unhelpful. He's much closer to retirement than I am and is somewhat focused on what that will look like for him. But I'm not on the same schedule and we have a young child. The difference between what we both want in our lives is too great to reconcile. We've actually been to six different marriage counselors. We've tried.
He is a good person and a good dad. We're just not right for each other. We worked out a prenup fairly easily. It's my hope we can also work out a dissolution of the marriage amicably, especially if we use one mediator instead of two attorneys. I've searched online for NYC based mediators and while there quite a few, getting fulsome recommendations on any of them has been frustrating. Additionally, in order to maintain impartiality, no mediator will speak with one party without also speaking with the other. So an initial consultation with a mediator is actually not something that's done unless both parties are present. We actually haven't said to each other that we should get divorced though we sure have been on that edge a few times. It's really a matter of time and who will say it first. Neither of us wants to be the one.
My parents had a terrible marriage and should have separated when my brother and I were little. Instead, they hung on and it was a nightmare to witness. I don't want to put my son through that. I'd rather change our relationship to a sustainable partnership with our son's best interests at heart, before we become bitter with each other and poison the household with resentments.
Having said all of this as background, can anyone recommend a NYC based divorce mediator? Or perhaps you know a friend of a friend who went through the process successfully? A colleague, relative, neighbor?
Many thanks in advance.
He is a good person and a good dad. We're just not right for each other. We worked out a prenup fairly easily. It's my hope we can also work out a dissolution of the marriage amicably, especially if we use one mediator instead of two attorneys. I've searched online for NYC based mediators and while there quite a few, getting fulsome recommendations on any of them has been frustrating. Additionally, in order to maintain impartiality, no mediator will speak with one party without also speaking with the other. So an initial consultation with a mediator is actually not something that's done unless both parties are present. We actually haven't said to each other that we should get divorced though we sure have been on that edge a few times. It's really a matter of time and who will say it first. Neither of us wants to be the one.
My parents had a terrible marriage and should have separated when my brother and I were little. Instead, they hung on and it was a nightmare to witness. I don't want to put my son through that. I'd rather change our relationship to a sustainable partnership with our son's best interests at heart, before we become bitter with each other and poison the household with resentments.
Having said all of this as background, can anyone recommend a NYC based divorce mediator? Or perhaps you know a friend of a friend who went through the process successfully? A colleague, relative, neighbor?
Many thanks in advance.
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