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Dinner with your spouse

Indylady

Indylady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,789
Do you eat dinner with your spouse/partner every night? Who cooks, or do you eat out? What does your 'family time/couple time' weeknight routine look like?

Norms among my friends seem to vary incredibly--some always eat with their partners while some rarely do on weeknights.

What works for you and makes you feel happy and fulfilled in your relationship?
 
Weeknights with my kiddo (shared custody): Husband usually stops at the grocery store on the way home, I make dinner* and we three sit down at the dining room table for family dinner. Husband cleans up after dinner and if it's nice we all go to the local park/playground. We both are involved in getting kiddo ready for bed, and after kid goes to sleep we watch a show together, chat, and then individual chores or work (husband often does consulting in the evenings) until reconnecting before bed.

Weeknights just us two: still eat dinner together, but it's usually leftovers or take out, or we go out for a dinner date. After, same with individual chores or work, until time to reconnect before bed. Occasionally on our "non-kid" nights we schedule individual stuff, and forage for ourselves, but that's the exception not the rule.

*I do 99% of the cooking during the week and husband tends to cook on the weekends--when we're not off visiting/traveling/adventuring :) That works well because I'm better at throwing random food together and coming up with dinner in 15 min flat, which is what we need after a long day at work, and he's more interested in taking time doing specific recipes from cookbooks, and there's more time for that on the weekend.

Edit to add: we both work :)
 
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Due to DH's work schedule, he gets home between 8-8:30 p.m. so I devote Sunday to fixing him meals for the week (he eats dinner at his desk while doing patient charts). We eat out Saturday nights, just the two of us. Saturday during the day we either hike or snow shoe depending on the season. If I get myself organized enough, I can join him for outdoor stuff Sunday mornings. We also try to meet up for an evening hike on Tuesdays.

His schedule as a doctor is crazy and sometimes unpredictable -- he works from 7 a.m. to around 6:30 p.m. -- eats at his desk, does patient rounds, goes for a short run or to the gym and comes home exhausted. We have about an hour together at night before his mind turns to jello-o and he's off to bed.

We make the most of the time we spend together. Both of us are big on outdoor activities. Now that he's getting older, he's more open to taking time off work and during the summer we have numerous long weekends where we get away from town and usually have a 3-week vacay out of the country.

It was tough at first, keeping the relationship alive and healthy because of his work. After 20 years, I'm used to being alone alot and spend most social time with my friends. DH and I were talking a few days ago about what happens when he retires. I'm so used to being independent and living according to my schedule that it will be a major adjustment having him around more often.
 
My DH isn't a doctor, but like Matata, my hubby works long and erratic hours. Usually 8am to anytime between 5-9pm (and even later on really bad days) I do pretty much all of the cooking (though he does the dishes, which is a chore I hate so yay me :D). That's probably for the best, since he can't cook to save his life (not even a decent scrambled egg :eek:). I tend to eat dinner by myself a lot so that means me sitting on the couch watching tv or reading a book. I usually sit with my DH , while he's eating, to keep him company and catch up on the day. When he is home for dinner, we are pretty casual. We like to watch a tv show, while chowing down. Weekends are when we have our date night. I look forward to those days.

I'm alone a lot more than I expected to be when I got married over 10 years ago, but I guess that gives me extra time to hop on this forum. :P
 
Before we had kids, we ate together most nights, but it was always late, like 9 pm or later because of his schedule. Now I just eat with the kids around 6:30-7 and my husband eats with us maybe once during the week. He usually gets home around 7:30, but then runs/works out before eating, so it's just too late. Fridays we always eat dinner together after the kids are in bed, that's our couple time, and weekends we eat all meals together as a family. I wish we could have more family meals during the week, but i'm okay with him just hanging out with us after work instead.
 
We eat together most weeknights unless he's got meetings or out of the country. When we're together I do most of the cooking, but I've also become an instant pot devotee. I love my pot :kiss: I wanna get another, though I do have now three internal cooking sleeves. Or we grill, which means of course I've already pre-prepped and all he has to do is throw it on the grill. Its now rare for me to use the stove, though I do when I make stirfry (not as often as I would like). leftovers usually are put in the freezer for nights I don't cook.

For instance last night, we had instant pot hatch chile chicken with instant pot barley and black beans. (that takes 2 sleeves) and I didn't use the stove at all. Then I made chilled zucchini spaghetti dressed it with balsamic vinaigrette with purple and red tomatoes and goat cheese crumbles.

We go out maybe once a week anymore. 2 times if its a special occasion. I won't cook on holidays which means its a special occasion:P

I cook at home because I like knowing whats in my food. I don't count calories per se but I like knowing the food is clean. I don't have to worry about if I order black beans, will they have used lard to cook with. You can't always know certain details if you eat out.

The weekends sometimes can be iffy. I refuse to cook on the weekends for the last year as I already don't have time to relax. Its also the times when he had better figure out what to do on his own (its means if we're together we eat leftovers from the week for dinner) Breakfast is all on him. Its usually oatmeal which we do during the week so I don't mind.

Cooking is mostly done by me. I use the easiest method possible, and the instant pot really saves me a ton of time.

Oh and I do work 60+ hours a week. The good thing is, my office is maybe 100 feet from the bedroom, so not exactly too long of a "commute".
 
I'm the one who works long and erratic hours. Earlier in our marriage, I cooked dinner every night and DH cleaned up (when I worked 8-4 Monday - Friday). It was mainly because I got home first (he worked 8-5:30 those days) and I was the better cook. Now I leave for work at 7:30 and I'm not usually home until 7-7:30 (sometimes later). So DH cooks dinner now and cleans up. We eat together every night on weeknights unless he has a work dinner. Weekends we often eat out at least one meal. We prioritize dinner together though. Food is our thing.
 
We eat dinner together as a family every night. My husband will often start dinner because he gets home about an hour before I do. I commute, he does not. Dinner together gives us a chance to catch up on our days and hear about my daughters days as well. Super important for all of us to stay connected in this crazy world where everyone is busy.
On the weekends when the girls re with their dad, meals are more casual. We still eat together.
 
Dh would be happy eating one meal at 11 pm, so we only eat together when we make plans to go out to dinner.

@Matata mine is a doctor also: he never talks retirement because he figures he will just stroke out at work one day...
 
We both have semi opposite schedules, and go between:
-I do meal prep, and we each eat our meals whenever is easiest, usually not together.
-No meal prep, I wait until he's home to cook/eat
-We grab something while we're out/had a big lunch and don't eat dinner

The only time we always eat together is fri/sat/sun, the rest of the week is up in the air.
 
Our family eats together on average 6 nights a week. During the school year it is like clockwork during the week; weekends are relaxed as is the summer. I try very hard to schedule the kids after school stuff so we can all eat together but it is getting harder! I cook most nights but we eat out about once a week. My older daughter has started helping me and wants to learn to cook so it's fun. I may be old fashioned but it is sooooo important for us to eat together. It is the only time of the day we get as a family sometimes.
 
I cook or assemble something edible five nights a week. Monday is Moe's and Friday we get some form of takeout. We eat together every night once DH comes home between 5 and 5:30 and then the kids are in bed usually by 8 so we can just hang.
 
We rarely eat together, or eat the same thing or even at the same time or in the same room.
He eats in the den in front of his TV and I in another room at my puter.

I'm not really into Carls Jr. or Jack in the Box.
I eat healthy stuff I cook from scratch, brown rice, whole grain, olive oil, salads with no dressing, etc.

Meals are not a social thing for us.
We'll go to a restaurant together maybe once a month, usually Thai.
When reheating left overs (for me) I'll dump em in a strainer and rinse under hot running water to get most of the fat, sugar and salt out, yet retain all the nutrition and fiber.
Sill tastes great ... to me.

They say opposites attract.
 
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We used to eat all of our meals together and I usually cooked them. Now DH is on a strength training program eating a lot of protein, some fat and few carbs. We usually don't eat together now and we both fix our own meals. We occasionally eat out.
 
We eat together when he is home but lately that is not very much. DH is a fire captain, and he has been working a lot of overtime shifts as we are gearing up for retirement.
 
We're a bit of a mix and it depends on how we feel or what we are doing; if we are off-shift to each other, very tired or busy then we will typically grab our plates and go our own way in the house to have our dinner. Having said that we bought a new dining table recently and have been having our dinners at the table together for the last week or so which has been nice. Who knows how long that will last though...
 
I assemble or reheat on weeknights----if its swim season (June-September) is a challenge because DH is home by 5:10 and we give the Westies their evening swim workout, so I need to have food that will come together fast after I cook the Westie dinners.

DH has most Friday's off and we go out for lunch.

DH is great to cook for---he's always appreciative, never criticizes. I clean up too because I am not working full time now.
 
Arcadian, you love your Instant Pot! I read about them in that liberal rag I love, The New York Times, and I want one!!!!! Where did you get yours???
 
We eat most meals together and I am the cook! We do not eat out often as we enjoy our wine and food at home. Much more healthy and less expensive; our food tastes much better than restaurant food.
 
I cook about 99% of meals. Wish DH did a little more cooking, but he doesn't really like to cook, and would prefer to help out in other ways while I cook.

I'd say we eat out for dinner once a week or so--more if friends come over or something.

EDIT. We eat together every night, even if it's just while watching TV or something.
 
I cooked for the first 20 years, then went on permanent leave. My DH does all the real cooking now. Truth is, we have a very boring diet. We're trying to lose weight and be healthy, so our meals are just basic simple foods. Protein and 2 or more veggies. Maybe a starch maybe not. The food tastes good, but our mindset is definitely eat to live not live to eat. This is a big change for us. DH is gone a lot though. I just eat leftovers then.
 
I used to have a spouse. He's burnt up ash now in a bucket.:blackeye:

When we first got together he ate at irregular times due to working later shifts at times. Over time we backed him up till he was eating between 6 and 7 pm. We liked eating together and watch impractical jokers. In retrospect, the show would make us laugh so hard mid bite that I'm shocked it never turned into an impractical choker.

He picked up take out 80% of the time. I cooked 10% and picked up take out 10% of the time.

We didn't always eat together but DH would sit with me while I ate in bed watching Netflix if I was hungry before he was. He always served me breakfast on weekends in bed and dinner on weeknights in bed.:blackeye:
 
We eat together most nights but often (I'm ashamed to say) in front of the TV but we do go out for a meal at least once a week which is nice & romantic! I am however used to eating alone due husband being ex-Army. I usually cook but he is an excellent chef too. :love:
 
We always eat together in the evening and fortunately at this stage in our lives my dh has more flexibility and freedom at work so he is usually home early enough so we can enjoy dinner together. He occasionally works from home and he might at times have a conference call in the later evening but he always tries arranging it after our dinner. I agree with Kenny in that opposites can attract. My dh is the chef and the baker in our family and I cannot cook or bake a thing. Luckily he is a darn good chef and baker too. It's how he won my heart initially I think.:lickout: :cheeky:

We used to eat out a lot more the first decade or so that we were together. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays were date nights out. But for the last decade or so we prefer eating at home because I sincerely prefer my dh's cooking to any restaurant (tastes better and is healthier) though we eat out a couple of times a month to give him a break and for a change of pace. It makes going out to eat a more special occasion than in the old days when we would eat out so often.
 
We generally cook during the week with me being the cook. He has one protein that he can make well so he'll make it once every one to two weeks, but I still make the sides. Weekends we tend to order in or go out for lunch. We have a toddler so we don't go out for dinner often, lunch is better. We eat together in the kitchen, no TV.
 
azstonie said:
Arcadian, you love your Instant Pot! I read about them in that liberal rag I love, The New York Times, and I want one!!!!! Where did you get yours???
Click to expand...
I got mine on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Instant-Pot-Multi-Use-Programmable-Pressure/dp/B00FLYWNYQ and it was a heck of a lot more than it is now! But it was worth it. The only thing is, the internal seal gather's smells. Say for instance if you cook bbq anything in there, that ring will smell a bit smokey...lol So I also have additional rings for that reason too. When I first got mine I had to read a blog in order to really use it. It does come with an instructional book but being able to see it in action was a gold mine.

EDIT: there's a new one https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NBKTPTS/ref=pd_luc_rh_bxgy_02_04_t_img_lh?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
 
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I am a stay at home mom with older children. My youngest child is 12. I feel it is only right that I cook. I cook several day's worth of lunches and dinners at once so that I don't have to think about cooking again for days. This also eliminates the temptation for eating out, which is always huge for me.

My husband and I eat together at the table. My 12 year old hates everything I cook and feigns a stomach ache almost every day. I tell myself that I will address the problem tomorrow, but it never comes. He eats grapes or raspberries and chicken nuggets each day.


My husband makes me breakfast every morning before he goes to work because he's a freakin saint. I'm an even bigger saint because I do the more important job of making the coffee. :whistle:


I JUST got an instant pot the other day and haven't figured out how to use it. I still stuck on the idea that I can make GREEK YOGURT in it!!!!! Yeah, I can be pretty simple at times!
 
I have the Breville version of the Instant Pot. I like it a lot, but tend to use it for big batch stuff like soups, stews, and braises (short ribs and risotto are amazing in it). I haven't developed a knack for using it for everyday cooking the way many people do. I'm picky though, so I'm only willing to use it if the results are going to be equal or better than I can get with other cooking styles. I'm happy to do a big batch braise in the oven on the weekend and freeze it into portions for easy weeknight dinners (so when I say DH cooks most night, he's usually heating up something I've made and frozen, along with making some rice and a salad).
 
I have a lighter work schedule than DH, thus I am in charge of preparing breakfast (grab and go fruit oat meals, pb sandwhich, eggs), packing lunches, and preparing dinners. I really have joy in meal preparation but certainly love to eat out, which unfortunately due to work schedules is just simpler to do on the weekends. We generally eat very simply and health oriented at home so when we go out it's things we don't normally cook/eat. DH gets home much later than I do so I occasionally eat before him especially if I just did a workout in the evening. Though I might not be eating with him, I'm at the dinner table catching up on the day. Oh these short weekdays with him makes me look forward to the weekends so much. : )
 
I'm going to have to look into this instapot thing
 
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