Pandora II
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2006
- Messages
- 9,613
As the time gets nearer to finalise our guest list, I have a bit of a dilemma.
Background:
FI''s parents divorced when he was 14, he and his older brother lived with his Dad and the younger two went to live with his mum very close by.
FMIL has been married for 14 years or so to a really great guy P who we all adore. FI gets on with him much better than with his own father. P has 5 grown-up children of his own from his first marriage, all of whom are older than us and all of whom are married.
FFIL has been married to R for 4 years and met her about 7 years ago. FI hates her with a vengeance and is very uncomfortable when she is present. Personally I don''t like her much and would much prefer that she wasn''t part of the extended family, but she is so we have to deal with it.
R has 3 children from her previous marriage. They are much younger than FI, but know his younger brothers well. FI was 26 when R and FFIL met and has rarely met her children.
The Problem:
R autoinvited her children to FBIL''s wedding in Chicago 2 weeks ago, which he was not very happy about, however they had a huge guest list - 250+ so it wasn''t a problem - though they were surprised that they were prepared to fork out for plane fares, hotels etc for people they''ve maybe met 20 times at the most.
FMIL also felt that if they were invited, P''s 5 children should have been invited too, not that they would have come, but out of courtesy.
The 2 girls are okay, but their brother is his mother in male form and just causes trouble all the time. He also got very drunk every night and positively harrassed a lot of the single girls at the wedding.
They all kept asking me for the date of our wedding so they can book plane tickets etc - one lives in the Dominican Republic, and telling me how much they are looking forward to our wedding.
I''ve tried the ''we have a very small guest list'' line, but didn''t feel comfortable spelling out that they are not invited - they haven''t got any of the hints at all.
Our numbers are a max of 120 with no space for extras at all - I have maxed out the number you can actually squeeze in. We both have big families anyway, plus my parents have invited some of their friends, so we can only invited our really close friends.
I really don''t want to invite 3 people who make FI uncomfortable and I''m even less happy about having 3 people there who are hoping for a wild drunken party. Pretty much everyone coming is in their mid 30''s plus and there are no single people coming at all, so it''s likely to be more on the sedate side.
What should I do? R will go nuts it''swe don''t invite them, but we don''t want to play happy families when it''s not the case.
How would you handle this one? Or should we invite them instead of our friends to keep the peace?
Sorry, very long - but it''s really bothering me at the moment.
Background:
FI''s parents divorced when he was 14, he and his older brother lived with his Dad and the younger two went to live with his mum very close by.
FMIL has been married for 14 years or so to a really great guy P who we all adore. FI gets on with him much better than with his own father. P has 5 grown-up children of his own from his first marriage, all of whom are older than us and all of whom are married.
FFIL has been married to R for 4 years and met her about 7 years ago. FI hates her with a vengeance and is very uncomfortable when she is present. Personally I don''t like her much and would much prefer that she wasn''t part of the extended family, but she is so we have to deal with it.
R has 3 children from her previous marriage. They are much younger than FI, but know his younger brothers well. FI was 26 when R and FFIL met and has rarely met her children.
The Problem:
R autoinvited her children to FBIL''s wedding in Chicago 2 weeks ago, which he was not very happy about, however they had a huge guest list - 250+ so it wasn''t a problem - though they were surprised that they were prepared to fork out for plane fares, hotels etc for people they''ve maybe met 20 times at the most.
FMIL also felt that if they were invited, P''s 5 children should have been invited too, not that they would have come, but out of courtesy.
The 2 girls are okay, but their brother is his mother in male form and just causes trouble all the time. He also got very drunk every night and positively harrassed a lot of the single girls at the wedding.
They all kept asking me for the date of our wedding so they can book plane tickets etc - one lives in the Dominican Republic, and telling me how much they are looking forward to our wedding.
I''ve tried the ''we have a very small guest list'' line, but didn''t feel comfortable spelling out that they are not invited - they haven''t got any of the hints at all.
Our numbers are a max of 120 with no space for extras at all - I have maxed out the number you can actually squeeze in. We both have big families anyway, plus my parents have invited some of their friends, so we can only invited our really close friends.
I really don''t want to invite 3 people who make FI uncomfortable and I''m even less happy about having 3 people there who are hoping for a wild drunken party. Pretty much everyone coming is in their mid 30''s plus and there are no single people coming at all, so it''s likely to be more on the sedate side.
What should I do? R will go nuts it''swe don''t invite them, but we don''t want to play happy families when it''s not the case.
How would you handle this one? Or should we invite them instead of our friends to keep the peace?
Sorry, very long - but it''s really bothering me at the moment.
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