Dilemma regarding asking her parents...

[Husky]

Hey guys and gals,
Been browsing for a while here and finally decided to join the family here. Anyways, I figured this was the best place to post up my dilemma since it relates in some way to my proposal.

Background: K and I have been dating for over three and a half years now. Two of those years were comprised of us in a long distance relationship (doesn''t get much longer than coast to coast). Well last January, K moved down South to be with me and to finish up college.

As our relationship has grown, so has our love. I am finally ready to take the next step....I am hunting for the ring, thinking up the proposal, getting everything set for that special day when I propose.

But here''s my problem...her parents are on the other side of the U.S.!!!! I always felt that the traditional "take her father to dinner" idea was a part of this whole process....but now I have no idea how to pull that off without 1) K knowing where I am (and therefore knowing what I''m doing) 2) With my busy schedule, I don''t even have a free weekend between now and the day I am planning on proposing to K.

Getting a plane ticket wouldn''t really be an issue (thank you Frequent Flier miles)...but I can''t figure out how in the world to go about this.

Would a phone call be "inappropriate"??

Thanks for the help, guys and gals...

 

[Elmorton]

I don''t think a phonecall is inappropriate at all - but perhaps schedule it? You know, e-mail FFIL and ask if he and the Mrs. will be home on Wednesday at 8pm so you can call to talk to them. Still a little bit of excitement, planning, and you know you''ll catch them at a good time instead of calling when guests are over or something.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 8/6/2008 2:24:19 PM
Author: Elmorton
I don''t think a phonecall is inappropriate at all - but perhaps schedule it? You know, e-mail FFIL and ask if he and the Mrs. will be home on Wednesday at 8pm so you can call to talk to them. Still a little bit of excitement, planning, and you know you''ll catch them at a good time instead of calling when guests are over or something.

I like this idea. Really, I see nothing wrong with doing it via phone. In person would probably be "ideal", but giving them a heads-up as described above (since they''ll probably have a hunch as to what you''d like to discuss) is a nice twist to the phone approach.

I think it''s more the effort and thought that counts nowadays, anyway.

I can sympathize, though. I know SO has similar concerns about pulling this off (wants the proposal itself to be a surprise), and my parents are only 3 hours away!

 

[dockman3]

I am in roughly the same boat as you are. We did long distance for two years and she has now moved to be with me, but her family is across the country. It just so happens that we are going to a wedding of one of her high school friends in her home town, so I''ll be able to see her parents and ask them at that point. Is there the possibility of something like this coming up for you? If not, a phone call is appropriate if you just can''t wait. Good luck, and let us know how everything goes!

 

[Husky]

Thanks ya''ll....

Unfortunately there''s no time that was scheduled for K to go back until December...and I wasn''t even able to arrange going with her then.

So a phone call is looking more attractive as every weekend from now until November is spoken for either through school, work, or more school.

 

[trillionaire]

The guys I know have called, and it went over just fine. I think people understand that it can be hard to clandestinely pull off something like that, unless you literally have the $$$ to fly in and out on the same day. If you can do that, I am pretty sure you can come up with 1 days worth of "excuses", if you have the FF miles to achieve it. Otherwise, the phone call will be your best option.

Good luck!

 

[stone_seeker]

Date: 8/6/2008 6:04:32 PM
Author: Husky
Thanks ya'll....

Unfortunately there's no time that was scheduled for K to go back until December...and I wasn't even able to arrange going with her then.

So a phone call is looking more attractive as every weekend from now until November is spoken for either through school, work, or more school.

Phone call is fine. An email to them would be best just so that they arent in the middle of something or in bad cell phone reception. It will set the stage nicely for them as well as build some excitement. Flying in and out on a cross country trip is not easy to pull off and hard to do under the radar. Save the miles for when you will have to fly out after you guys are engaged and she wants to see her folks and friends from home.

If they have a Mac or webcam, you can also set up an iChat.

 

[Tsmi448]

I agree I with setting up a time slot to talk to make it more thought out. Also this way you don''t catch them running out the door or something where they might not be able to have a full conversation. That said I know my girlfriends parents are only 2.5 hours away but I have no idea how I am pulling it off so best of luck if you try to fly there.