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Different Religions and Family Pressures?

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AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
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Dec 1, 2008
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316
Ooops...accidentley set this in blank first! Silly me!

I was just curious, does anyone else have a significant other of a different religion? I'm Christian (episcopal, so I'm pretty open minded religiously), and my boyfriend is Jewish, but he doesn't really practice.

Our parents have pretty much figured out that we are going to get married, so we're starting to get pressures...from my side, try to convert my BF to Christianity. From his side, trying to get him to make me promise that the children will be raised Jewish.

Anyone else experience something like this? Not even religious pressures...just pressures from your family about your choice of future fiance?
 

nail_polish

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
169

A few summers ago, my boyfriend and I went through a turmoil of the same sort.

We are both Christian. I am Orthodox, and really only attend church for special ceremonies. He is Reformed Protestant, and was raised going to church every Sunday.

Now, to us - we are both Christian, we have the same beliefs - believe in the same God, the Holy Trinity, etc.

However, his parents were stuck on the fact that I did not go to church every Sunday. This became a HUGE deal for them. Because apparently, being Orthodox is 'the devil' to them. They really were worried that I would tear the family apart...

There was a lot of pressure (even before we started officially dating) from his side to ensure that we would raise our children in a God-fearing household.

We do want to raise our children to live their lives for God but that is something that we just WANT to do; we agreed to raise our children Christian (obviously) but will probably not force a denomination on them. This makes his parents happy enough for now.

I am sure the issue will re-surface once we are deciding who's church to marry in, etc. But for now, its okay :razz:
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 18, 2008
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3,881
lol, families are funny. SO and I are both non-religious, which you would think would be great. We get pressure from both sides because both parents want our ''souls to be saved'', and ''what about the kids? who is going to take them to church?''! So yeah, parents and families just like to meddle, I think. We are happy heathens, and that''s still problematic, apparently. And we don''t want kids.
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
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No, personally I have not as both sides are Christian (me=catholic/him=greek orthodox) but neither families are extremely religious. They would like us to get married by a priest (in church or out) and hope that we raise our children with some type of religion.

HOWEVER, I have a lot of friends who are in interfaith relationships: Jewish/Christian and Muslim/Christian or Jewish. Those mixes are quite common, but even so, can be tricky. I think it gets tricky because often times, although the couple knows how to be flexible and agreeable, they want to please their parents, especially if their parents are very traditional/religious.

It''s hard. I don''t have any advice to make it easier for your families but I will say that ultimately it is your decision. You have to do what is best for both of you and your future children. Make sure your families understand and respect that, even if they don''t like it.
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
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Haha the children are the center of the debate for my situation too...I honestly don''t think either side cares about the mortal soul of me or my boyfriend, they just want the grandchildren to be their religion.

I just have this horrible feeling that when grandchildren roll around, it''s going to turn into a contest between the grandparents as to who wins the children''s soul. This happened to a friend of mine in a similar situation, and I don''t want this to turn nasty.

The wedding is already making me nervous...for the good of all involved, he and I have already decided on a civil ceremony.
 

ckrickett

Ideal_Rock
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I''m going through that same thing. I''m a christian and my SO is a diehard athiest. No changing any of our minds, and to be honest wouldn''t want to. YES I would love for him to convert but that''s something HE would have to want, not something he would do over my nagging, if he does or doesn''t I''ll love him just the same.

As far as our day to day life goes we have everything down pat. But where I know we will have difficulty is our wedding day, and kids. We won''t be able to get married in our church, because my pastor won''t marry anyone who is a non believer. Now this irks my parents, but not me. I will have God in my vows, but he won''t, and thats fine. What we have had to agree on is our kids. We don''t have any YET, but when (hopefully) if they do come I am steadfast in having them baptized, and going to sunday school. Now If they don''t want to go (and I believe some people know at a young age) I won''t make them and they have the right to believe (or not to believe) in anything they want. I want my kids to grow up with a foundation in christianity, and my SO will be there if they decide to be athiest. I will love and respect my kids no matter what their religion. Because religion is a relationship between them and who they decide to worship/ or not. I just want my kids to KNOW. I already talked to my SO about it and asked if they decided to be christian would he respect them, and he said of course. Because if they choose to be athiest I would respect them.

I think when it comes to having a partner that believes diiferently then you, alot of compromise comes into play, and alot of sacrifice. I could easily have fallen in love with a christian and thing might have been easier. But I didn''t and I wouldn''t change the man I''m with for anything in the world.
 

allycat0303

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I''m mormon, and my fiancé is catholic. Thankfully, I was raised Mormon, and not really practicing, so it hasn`t been much of an issue. We''ve had some glitches with the wedding ceremony, such as not having a wedding mass, but aside from that it`s ok. We have to raise our children catholic, but I''m ok with that, mainly because I am SO not religious, and it''s probably a minimal amount more important to him then to me. I think it`s important to establish ground rules before hand getting married though, so it doesn`t become something you argue about later on.
 

trillionaire

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/24/2009 12:39:10 PM
Author: AllieGator
Haha the children are the center of the debate for my situation too...I honestly don''t think either side cares about the mortal soul of me or my boyfriend, they just want the grandchildren to be their religion.


I just have this horrible feeling that when grandchildren roll around, it''s going to turn into a contest between the grandparents as to who wins the children''s soul. This happened to a friend of mine in a similar situation, and I don''t want this to turn nasty.


The wedding is already making me nervous...for the good of all involved, he and I have already decided on a civil ceremony.
just raise the kids half one way, and half the other. First kids is mom''s faith, second is dad''s, etc...
could be fun!
 

Lulie

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When men grow wiser/older, they tend to go back and practice faith, it happened to my DH [Cath] your BF may never do it, but I could bet on it, since it also happened to my oldest sister, she's Jewish now [to avoid conflicts and support her children's faiith] Very, very difficult.
 

trillionaire

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Date: 2/24/2009 12:51:49 PM
Author: Lulie
When men grow wiser/older, they tend to go back and practice faith, it happened to my DH [Cath] your BF may never do it, but I could bet on it, since it also happened to my oldest sister, she''s Jewish now [to avoid conflicts and support her children''s faiith] Very, very difficult.
Ditto this. Happened to my dad.
 

KatM

Shiny_Rock
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I was raised Catholic, he was raised Jewish. For me it''s not really an issue because I don''t go to church or really even believe in God. BF seems to be more into the cultural Jewish stuff than the religious. I would anticipate a bit of pressure from both sides. My extended family is a conservative Catholic family, and his extended family seems to have had some negative experiences with Christianity.

If kids were ever in the picture, I would have no problem with them being Jewish. My family on the other hand....
 

AllieGator

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Date: 2/24/2009 1:02:50 PM
Author: KatM
I was raised Catholic, he was raised Jewish. For me it''s not really an issue because I don''t go to church or really even believe in God. BF seems to be more into the cultural Jewish stuff than the religious. I would anticipate a bit of pressure from both sides. My extended family is a conservative Catholic family, and his extended family seems to have had some negative experiences with Christianity.


If kids were ever in the picture, I would have no problem with them being Jewish. My family on the other hand....
This is the same situation for me...I have told my BF that I''m totally fine with them being raised Jewish, as long as I''m not expected to convert. He doesn''t care, however, and we''ve decided that it''ll be easier to raise them Episcopal and have them celebrate important Jewish holidays with his family.

The parents, however, will feel differently. I''m worried that his parents will think that it''s my fault their not Jewish, and blame me. If they were raised Jewish, my parents would think I was being a bad mother for "letting them go to hell" (as my parents will probably put it.)

Oy Vey/Dear Lord.

I feel bad for my boyfriend. But, I knew what I was getting into when the first time I met his father, after we had been dating for 2 weeks, he asked me if I would convert if I married a Jewish man.
 

Lulie

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Oh, Allie, be prepared....we all change our minds over the years in all areas.....but on this one, I can see you converting [which is not bad] for your children''s sake, and your own sanity. Oh so wish you talked to my sister, she''s got some stories......
 

Smurfysmiles

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I''m lutheran and fi is catholic and we''re having a lutheran wedding because that way the other doesn''t have to go through any classes to convert or anything. However, you should have seen fi''s old catholic grandma''s face when we said the ceremony would be in a lutheran church, priceless. i know it will be ok in the end though. Fi is actually planning to convert to lutheranism anyways because he says he doesn''t really follow all of the catholic beliefs. Although it probably helps that our best man''s father is a pastor :)
 

Elmorton

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I''m Episcopalian and my DH was raised by an athiest mother and his dad and step mom attended a Methodist church for a few years when DH was about 12-13. So, we had pretty different religious upbringings, but very little of our values clashed (with exception to the idea that Jesus=Messiah). When we were engaged, DH was agnostic. Now, DH and I say that he''s a "practicing, but non-baptized Episcopalian."

In terms of relgion in our relationship, there were some bumps we needed to get over, but we worked them out through a lot of conversations about it, and all that happened prior to being engaged. Our parents seemed to understand and respect that. But, when it came time to plan a wedding...

..my parents wanted a high church, Episcopal wedding (full mass of course). My DH felt very uncomfortable with the idea of his marriage vows being closely attached with beliefs that he didn''t adhere to. I didn''t really want to be married in my hometown (thus at my home parish). We floated the idea of a destination wedding for awhile (found a few places where Anglican priests officiated), and then decided to get married in a civil ceremony in a park in my DH''s hometown.

My parents were very, very cool about it for weeks - and they never took any interest in the planning of our wedding (which may have been just because they didn''t really care one way or the other OR because they thought I was still holding up my middle finger to them by having a wedding outside of the church). My MIL was a little relieved, I think, that we weren''t having a church wedding, and my FIL never said anything about it either way.

DH had just started to attend church with me when we were engaged, and after talking a lot, we decided we also wanted an Episcopal blessing. We initially planned to do it in the church we were attending together, but the priest left and it was more my parents'' gig anyway, so we had it at their parish (where I was raised). My priest was pretty cool with everything (he handed us the BCP and said "Is there anything here you don''t want said?" - later my DH said "and why was it again that we didn''t have an Episcopal wedding?").

The priest was very understanding that my DH''s beliefs were different, but didn''t probe or ask any questions - he basically said "I noticed that you don''t take communion, which is none of my business, since that''s between you and God, but I want you to be comfortable with the liturgy." There was some red tape because we ended up having a friend who was ordained over the internet officiate Wedding 1 (thus technically Christian even though there was no mention of God in our first ceremony), and the blessing is only supposed to be used for people who have had a civil ceremony, so my priest glossed over a couple of parts. We did sign a document that said that we''d baptize our children and raise them in the Christian faith. To be honest, I personally feel that''s a decision a couple SHOULD decide before getting married IF they plan to have children anyway...the number 2 and 3 reasons why couples divorce is religious/cultural difference and difference parenting views. Anyway, what we found was that the Episcopal church was pretty open/accepting of our different spirituality. At the blessing, our priest even invited all people of "any spiritual belief" to come take communion. which was a little surprising even to us. Granted, it probably depends on your officiant, but I''d imagine that a dual-faith wedding would be relatively easy.

I know you asked a really general question, but I hope some of my experience (from the Episcopal perspective) might help you out in dealing with your own families in the wedding planning. One of the things I tallked a lot about with my parents was the idea that when it comes to religious beliefs/spirituality, a person has to find those things on their own. Most people have a really hard time arguing against that. Anyway, best of luck to you :)
 

IloveAsschers13

Brilliant_Rock
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Apr 27, 2008
Messages
896
Hi-

My boyfriend is Jewish (he went to a private Jewish school from 1-5 grade) but he doesn''t practice anymore. I am Catholic, but I don''t practice anymore either. My dad made me PROMISE to get my kids baptized---- which I personally don''t think is any of his business.

Me and my boyfriend do have similar morals though, and I firmly believe it''s about how a good person is to other people and to themselves is what really makes up that person. I think if I had to chose, I would start going to a non-denominational church if I ever went back to church.

Now my grandparents- that''s another story. My dad''s parents are from Ireland and they are devote Catholics. For example, they are keeping it a secret from all their relatives in Ireland that my parents got divorced since they think it''s awful for a Catholic to do that. My grandma''s brother never got a divorce, just lives with his girlfriend, because it''s so looked down upon.

I think if it''s something that is that important to you, work it out with your SO and just tell you family- we can handle it the way we want to. Your children aren''t going to turn out bad just because you raise them one way or the other!!
 

daydreamer

Rough_Rock
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Feb 22, 2009
Messages
57
Religious pressure? Thankfully no, as I know how divisive it can be.

We do have locale pressure though. My parents and entire extended family live across the country from where we live now. His live locally. Marriage for us means we will never both be able to live near our own families at the same time and mostly it will be me making the sacrifice. Believe me my parents are not particularly happy about this and his parents would be very upset if we moved. I''ve made my expectations very clear - budgeting money for plane tickets to see my parents several times a year is non-negotiable.
 

daydreamer

Rough_Rock
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Date: 2/24/2009 12:59:55 PM
Author: trillionaire
Date: 2/24/2009 12:51:49 PM

Author: Lulie

When men grow wiser/older, they tend to go back and practice faith, it happened to my DH [Cath] your BF may never do it, but I could bet on it, since it also happened to my oldest sister, she''s Jewish now [to avoid conflicts and support her children''s faiith] Very, very difficult.

Ditto this. Happened to my dad.
But didn''t happen to my dad.
 

Pandora II

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DH is half Jewish and half Christian.

His mother is being ordained into the Church of England in July and is married to a C of E vicar.

His father is very liberal, bacon eating, non practicing Jewish, but the extended family range from ultra-orthodox to liberal but keep kosher.

My parents are atheists/cultural christians - ie they like old village churches/christmas carols/nativity plays but don''t believe a word of it.

DH and I are both Secular Humanists and staunch Atheists.

Our daughter will be brought up with religion as a matter for her to decide. We have asked assorted friends to be the atheist version of ''godparents'' and so far have a Muslim, a Buddist, an evangelical Christian, a Catholic, an Anglican, a Jew and a fanatical football supporter. We''re still looking for a Pagan and either a Sikh or a Hindu.

This way she gets to have a go at everything!

All the parents have been great - MIL has even told us that we are not ''expected'' to attend her ordination
, but some of the soon to be great-grandparents are disapproving. But they managed to cope with our secular wedding - and they know better than to interfere.

For me it was hugely important that my husband share my religious views - or rather lack of - so I can see how tricky this situation can get.

DH and I have already resigned ourselves to our daughter ending up as a evangelical Christian Communist....
 

Lauren8211

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Date: 2/24/2009 6:24:33 PM
Author: Pandora II
DH is half Jewish and half Christian.


His mother is being ordained into the Church of England in July and is married to a C of E vicar.


His father is very liberal, bacon eating, non practicing Jewish, but the extended family range from ultra-orthodox to liberal but keep kosher.


My parents are atheists/cultural christians - ie they like old village churches/christmas carols/nativity plays but don''t believe a word of it.


DH and I are both Secular Humanists and staunch Atheists.


Our daughter will be brought up with religion as a matter for her to decide. We have asked assorted friends to be the atheist version of ''godparents'' and so far have a Muslim, a Buddist, an evangelical Christian, a Catholic, an Anglican, a Jew and a fanatical football supporter. We''re still looking for a Pagan and either a Sikh or a Hindu.


This way she gets to have a go at everything!


All the parents have been great - MIL has even told us that we are not ''expected'' to attend her ordination
, but some of the soon to be great-grandparents are disapproving. But they managed to cope with our secular wedding - and they know better than to interfere.


For me it was hugely important that my husband share my religious views - or rather lack of - so I can see how tricky this situation can get.


DH and I have already resigned ourselves to our daughter ending up as a evangelical Christian Communist....
Hahhaha... I laughed at bacon-eating.
 

Haven

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13,166
My DH and I are the same religion, but a longish time ago, I dated and was engaged to a man with a very different background than mine.

This ex is half Muslim and half Catholic, I''m Jewish, and our ethnic backgrounds are even more diverse: his parents are Mexican and Pakistani, and mine are German. Everyone joked that our wedding would be like a meeting of the United Nations.

ANYWAY . . . for the first few years of our relationship, both sides of our families had a lot of opinions about how we should raise our (nonexistent) children, what our (unplanned) wedding should look like, who should convert, yadda yadda yadda.

Once we became engaged I decided that I really didn''t care to hear any more opinions about how I should live my life, so I told them all to keep their thoughts to themselves, thankyouverymuch. Did that stop all the comments? Of course not. But once I decided that I just didn''t care anymore, it all stopped bothering me.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
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Date: 2/24/2009 6:24:33 PM
Author: Pandora II

Our daughter will be brought up with religion as a matter for her to decide. We have asked assorted friends to be the atheist version of ''godparents'' and so far have a Muslim, a Buddist, an evangelical Christian, a Catholic, an Anglican, a Jew and a fanatical football supporter. We''re still looking for a Pagan and either a Sikh or a Hindu.


This way she gets to have a go at everything!
LMAOROTF!!!!!!!!


I was raised Catholic, so was FF. We both went to catholic school. He is a staunch atheist, and thinks God is just as believable as the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but will go to church with me and the kids (and not receive communion). I lost my taste for the Catholic Church after hearing that a woman asked for permission to use condoms with her husband, after he contracted HIV through a blood transfusion (Bishop said no, relations between spouses only for procreation, birth control a sin). So I''ve been Episcopal for the past ten years. Since my kids are between 2 and 11, they don''t always behave in church, so my visits are sporadic, but I''m great friends with the gay pastor in our church (his committment ceremony was so beautiful!). We don''t have to worry about how to raise children because we won''t be having any together, and he''s fine with attending the Episcopal church with us.
 

Octavia

Ideal_Rock
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Thank goodness, I don't really have to deal with family pressures over religion. My grandma is sad that we're not having a church wedding and that a judge will officiate rather than a pastor, but that's about the extent of it. FI is an athiest and his family is not religious in any way. I was raised Presbyterian although my parents never went to church (I went with my grandparents for most of my young life), but I'm a "category 5 (leaning toward 6) agnostic." I'm really glad that it's not a divisive issue for us.

Not to say that we don't have our other pressures...but doesn't everyone?
 

LilyOfTheValley

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 14, 2009
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142
Nope. BF and I are both non-religious. This simply means that we are not associated with any organized religion.

If it means anything, I was baptized Catholic and he was baptized Anglican for "just in case," but we were both raised by parents who believed in allowing their children to choose from day one.
 

Sharon101

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Date: 2/24/2009 12:41:12 PM
Author: ckrickett
I''m going through that same thing. I''m a christian and my SO is a diehard athiest. No changing any of our minds, and to be honest wouldn''t want to. YES I would love for him to convert but that''s something HE would have to want, not something he would do over my nagging, if he does or doesn''t I''ll love him just the same.

As far as our day to day life goes we have everything down pat. But where I know we will have difficulty is our wedding day, and kids. We won''t be able to get married in our church, because my pastor won''t marry anyone who is a non believer. Now this irks my parents, but not me. I will have God in my vows, but he won''t, and thats fine. What we have had to agree on is our kids. We don''t have any YET, but when (hopefully) if they do come I am steadfast in having them baptized, and going to sunday school. Now If they don''t want to go (and I believe some people know at a young age) I won''t make them and they have the right to believe (or not to believe) in anything they want. I want my kids to grow up with a foundation in christianity, and my SO will be there if they decide to be athiest. I will love and respect my kids no matter what their religion. Because religion is a relationship between them and who they decide to worship/ or not. I just want my kids to KNOW. I already talked to my SO about it and asked if they decided to be christian would he respect them, and he said of course. Because if they choose to be athiest I would respect them.

I think when it comes to having a partner that believes diiferently then you, alot of compromise comes into play, and alot of sacrifice. I could easily have fallen in love with a christian and thing might have been easier. But I didn''t and I wouldn''t change the man I''m with for anything in the world.
That sounds like a really good compromise.
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/24/2009 12:41:12 PM
Author: ckrickett
I''m going through that same thing. I''m a christian and my SO is a diehard athiest. No changing any of our minds, and to be honest wouldn''t want to. YES I would love for him to convert but that''s something HE would have to want, not something he would do over my nagging, if he does or doesn''t I''ll love him just the same.


As far as our day to day life goes we have everything down pat. But where I know we will have difficulty is our wedding day, and kids. We won''t be able to get married in our church, because my pastor won''t marry anyone who is a non believer. Now this irks my parents, but not me. I will have God in my vows, but he won''t, and thats fine. What we have had to agree on is our kids. We don''t have any YET, but when (hopefully) if they do come I am steadfast in having them baptized, and going to sunday school. Now If they don''t want to go (and I believe some people know at a young age) I won''t make them and they have the right to believe (or not to believe) in anything they want. I want my kids to grow up with a foundation in christianity, and my SO will be there if they decide to be athiest. I will love and respect my kids no matter what their religion. Because religion is a relationship between them and who they decide to worship/ or not. I just want my kids to KNOW. I already talked to my SO about it and asked if they decided to be christian would he respect them, and he said of course. Because if they choose to be athiest I would respect them.


I think when it comes to having a partner that believes diiferently then you, alot of compromise comes into play, and alot of sacrifice. I could easily have fallen in love with a christian and thing might have been easier. But I didn''t and I wouldn''t change the man I''m with for anything in the world.
same EXACT for me
 

Sharon101

Brilliant_Rock
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Date: 2/24/2009 6:24:33 PM
Author: Pandora II
DH is half Jewish and half Christian.

His mother is being ordained into the Church of England in July and is married to a C of E vicar.

His father is very liberal, bacon eating, non practicing Jewish, but the extended family range from ultra-orthodox to liberal but keep kosher.

My parents are atheists/cultural christians - ie they like old village churches/christmas carols/nativity plays but don''t believe a word of it.

DH and I are both Secular Humanists and staunch Atheists.

Our daughter will be brought up with religion as a matter for her to decide. We have asked assorted friends to be the atheist version of ''godparents'' and so far have a Muslim, a Buddist, an evangelical Christian, a Catholic, an Anglican, a Jew and a fanatical football supporter. We''re still looking for a Pagan and either a Sikh or a Hindu.

This way she gets to have a go at everything!

All the parents have been great - MIL has even told us that we are not ''expected'' to attend her ordination
, but some of the soon to be great-grandparents are disapproving. But they managed to cope with our secular wedding - and they know better than to interfere.

For me it was hugely important that my husband share my religious views - or rather lack of - so I can see how tricky this situation can get.

DH and I have already resigned ourselves to our daughter ending up as a evangelical Christian Communist....
Pandora you are hilarious!!! I love your style and your future children will have a blast with all those godparents!!!!

And I love your title for your parents... athiests/ cultural christians....can I use that from now on for myself!!!!!

I would change the cultural christian to cultural jew though!!!
 

sba771

Brilliant_Rock
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Jun 1, 2008
Messages
887
I knew in the end I had to marry someone who was also Jewish. I dated non-Jews and I knew I faced serious backlash from my family if I was going to continue with those relationships. My family is too important to me to lose. In the end, I ended up getting engaged to someone who is Jewish for myself though. As I get older I find more of the traditions have new meaning for me and I really want to take part in them again. (Raised super observant, 13 years of Jewish day school, but rebelled in college). My FI is Jewish, but Jewish by birth practically and on top of that he is Sephardic so a lot of his traditions are vastly different than mine so we also struggle with our beliefs, but have come to some great compromises. He also is very aware that we will be building a kosher home together and I celebrate all the holidays, and I know my children will be taking in his family''s names based on his traditions. He is not a fan of the kosher thing and the name thing kind of gets to me, but we work together to come to these agreements. In the end, you just have to do what works for you and I know people in many situations who have made different religions work together in one marriage.
 

AllieGator

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
316
Thanks everyone, for sharing your experiences! We''ve already decided on some type of civil ceremony for the wedding...both sides are going to be disappointed, but we figured it was a good compromise, since we don''t care about religion in the ceremony. A traditional episcopal wedding is wayyyy to much Jesus for him, and the traditional Jewish wedding would make my parents very unhappy, since there would be no Christianity in it. We don''t feel like doing a combined wedding, so it works for us.

sba771-I agree with you on the name thing. My BF is fine with them having the traditional family name as a middle name, since that''s what his parents did with him and his brothers. I like the tradition, but the one his family follows (I don''t know if this is the standard, or if they just do it) is that they name the first son after the closest relative that has passed away. BFs parents are Russian (They immigrated from the USSR), so most of the names are pretty stereotypically Russian. At this point, the closest male relative that has passed away is his Grandfather--Boris. Nothing wrong with the tradition, but I''m not a fan of that name. But I''ll go along with it, because it''s tradition and I want our kids to have that.
 

elle_chris

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 19, 2004
Messages
3,156
Allie, My husband is Catholic (polish) I'm half jewish-half russian orthodox. While I wasn't raised in a relgious home, since my dad's family is larger than my mom's i grew up celebrating the traditional jewish holidays.

When I married my husband and realized he came from a pretty religious Catholic family, I became pretty protective of the jewish part of me.
We're trying for kids now and while I'm still not religious, I've realized that's it's very important for me to have my children understand Judaism and celebrate the high holy days. In the states when kids come from mixed famiilies I've noticed that most identify with their Christian side simply because it's everywhere. Everyone knows about Easter and Christmas. Most have no idea what Passover or Yom Kippur are about.
I've decided to make a conscious decision to remind myself and future chilldren how important it is for them to understand that they're alslo jewish and show them the beautiful and meaningful traditions that exist within Judaism.
 
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