Did you invite your hair dresser to stay for the wedding?

[Kelli]

My hair dresser has been a friend of the family for years, but not a really close friend. For example, she got married three years ago and did not invite us. The problem is that I feel guilty having her drive two hours to do everyone''s hair and not asking her stay. I''d go ahead and ask her, but then I''d need to invite her husband too right? These numbers keep piling up and we''re paying for everything ourselves. What would you do? The wedding and the reception are both on a dinner cruise yacht, so I don''t think it would be possible to invite her to the ceremony without paying for her to come to the reception too.

 

[swingirl]

I wouldn''t invite her as long as she is being paid for her services. It''d be one thing is it was just dinner so she could eat food before her drive home. But a dinner cruise is a commitment to being part of your whole wedding day. And would she feel obligated to bring a gift?

 

[monarch64]

Some venues provide boxed meals for vendors such as the photog/videographer, DJ, etc. If you don''t invite your hairdresser and your venue offers this, I would let her know that she will be provided a meal. If you choose not to invite her and your venue doesn''t do a boxed meal I would tip extra or maybe offer to pay for her travel time. She may not want to be invited because technically as a guest I would think she''d assume she needs to give you and your FI a gift, and that would defeat some of the purpose of her doing you and your bridal party''s hair that day.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I would not invite her.

If you are paying her fairly I wouldn''t worry about it. Are you expecting her to stay for the ceremony/reception. If so I would provide a vendor meal. If she''s just doing everyone''s hair before the wedding and then is done I wouldn''t offer a vendor meal...

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Hmm, good question. I would probably pay her pretty well and then not invite her. I''m in a similar predicament. Maybe put her on your B list? If you get enough declines, you could send her an invitation closer to the event. And is she driving two hours total or two hours there and two hours back? Four hours of driving is an awful lot to do hair. I dunno. This is a toughie.

 

[Rachel9]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:13:08 PM
Author:Kelli
My hair dresser has been a friend of the family for years, but not a really close friend. For example, she got married three years ago and did not invite us. The problem is that I feel guilty having her drive two hours to do everyone''s hair and not asking her stay. I''d go ahead and ask her, but then I''d need to invite her husband too right? These numbers keep piling up and we''re paying for everything ourselves. What would you do? The wedding and the reception are both on a dinner cruise yacht, so I don''t think it would be possible to invite her to the ceremony without paying for her to come to the reception too.

That''s it, zero obligation.

 

[Kelli]

Thanks for your input ladies! Some really good points! Unfortunately, it is two hours there and two hours back. Less with no traffic, but there is bound to be traffic. I will probably have a LOT of hair to do, so hopefully it will be worth it to her even if she doesn''t stay. I will of course tip her very well and try to provide her with something to eat too. I guess I''m leaning towards not inviting her. I''m sure she would feel obligated to bring a present if I did, and that would take away from the money she''d make that day. Thanks again!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

You could invite her to stay. This does not mean that you have to send her a formal invitation and invite her husband. I would expect my DJ, Photographer, Wedding Director, Officiant, and anyone else having to work throughout my wedding to be provided with dinner, at the least. It would be a nice gesture, but if you really can''t afford it, tip her nicely, and forget about it.

 

[Haven]

I did not invite my stylist to our wedding, but we aren''t family friends and she was paid and tipped for her services.

I wouldn''t fret over inviting your stylist to stay for the wedding. I''m assuming that you are paying her for her services, and it was her choice to take the job even knowing the distance she would have to travel to get to your venue. My guess is that she isn''t interested in staying, anyway. (I don''t mean this to sound rude, but how many people want to attend weddings when they aren''t close to the couple? Not many!)

 

[LilyKat]

Just pay her fairly (not "friend rates" - the same as you would for any other stylist), and then you have no obligation whatsoever to invite her.

Maybe send her a beautifully boxed piece of cake and a thank you card/flowers after the wedding, if you do feel guilty?

 

[mayachel]

I''d be really surprised if she expects to be invited. In my experience, regardless of the distance...you are hiring her for her services and then...you''ll see her when you need a haircut. Try not to stress over it. Sounds like she''ll be making out very well for herself during her time with your bridal party.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/5/2010 10:38:22 AM
Author: mayachel
I''d be really surprised if she expects to be invited. In my experience, regardless of the distance...you are hiring her for her services and then...you''ll see her when you need a haircut. Try not to stress over it. Sounds like she''ll be making out very well for herself during her time with your bridal party.

agree. When they come out on site, they typically charge for it. You are doing her a solid in selecting HER to do your wedding, and not someone else. She is providing a service. Unless you expect her to touch up your hair all night, and you pay her for that... an invitation and a vendor meal is not expected.

 

[winelover23]

I''m inviting my hairdresser but my wedding is about 3-1/2 hours away. I''m also inviting her husband and son and paying for their accomodations. Two hours isn''t too bad for her to come then return home. I would just ask her if she is interested and kind of line out what you are thinking and tell her no pressure and let her decide.

 

[Kelli]

Thanks again everyone. I''ve decided against inviting her, just paying and tipping her very well and maybe getting her some lunch to nibble on between hair-dos Between my bridal party and family who wants their hair done, it could be up to ten girls!

 

[emeraldlover1]

My hair dresser did 10 people including me the morning of our wedding. She drove 2.5 hrs each way as well to get to our destination. Because we had to start so early in the morning I paid for her hotel room the night before. I paid her normal day rate and tipped her but did not invite her to the wedding.

A friend of mine invited her''s but he did her wedding party and her for free. That would be my only exception.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

She''s a professional and she''s being paid. Tip her and give her a meal while she''s working and that''s all you need to do.