Did you have a "this is the one!" moment?

[NakedFinger]

I have only been engaged since 1/7, but since I am planning a July 2010 wedding, I need to get a dress ASAP (I have already been told by designers that with the dress being cut to my exact measurements, they cannot have it in time and I would have to pay a $500 or more rush fee). I am starting to stress about not having a dress in time, well because frankly I am completely underwhelmed with the options so far.

I have been dress shopping about 6 times so far and have tried on tons of dresses, even venturing to styles/cuts, etc that I would never think I would like, just to exhaust all options.

My friends call me a snob, which I am starting to believe at this point

, because I am completely turned off by cheap fabric, crappy beading or craftsmanship, and basically refuse to look like your quintessential catalog bride. I hate poofy dresses, and am not going for the "princess" look which everyone seems to be imposing on me. I want a very romantic, and fashionable look. So is it just me being a pain in the @$$ and thats why I havent found anything?

Not trying to sound b*tchy, because I have tried on several dresses that were very pretty (Jenny Packham is a fashion genius), and even got tears from my mom and sister with one dress, but I didnt get that "OMG this is it!" feeling. I have unfortunately had to venture out of my comfort zone as far as budget preference just to find some that I am remotely interested in, and could buy about 5 dresses that I have tried on that would be very nice options. But if I am spending $7,000 or more on a dress, shouldnt I LOVVVEEE it? Or am I putting to much of an emphasis on something you''re "supposed" to feel but that no one really does feel???

 

[jjdav]

Congratulations! You have a great budget, have you considered having a dress that is custom made just for you? You can take different design elements you like and have someone design it and make it for you. I''m sure for $7000 you will get great fabric and accents

 

[LabRatPhD]

I did not have the "OMG" moment. No tears or anything. In fact I got nauseous when handing over my credit card because it was SO much money to spend on one article of clothing to wear one day! I have heard about brides who do cry and have that feeling of "the one". I imagine it varies from person to person. Don''t get me wrong, I really love my dress and felt great in it when I tried it on so I obviously felt something! Just no dramatic emotions!

I wouldn''t be so hard on yourself. Pick the one that you feel smashing in and it will all be good!

 

[missy]

I didn't have a "this is the dress" moment either.
I had more of an "OMG I am so sick of trying on all these dresses" moment

and picked a dress that looked lovely but certainly didn't make my heart stop. The only thing that made my heart stop (and still does) is my darling husband.

 

[Bjedifish]

I totally understand how you are feeling. I too was accused many times of being a "snob", but I simply reminded myself, I''m not snobby I just really know what I want (and what I really didn''t want!). I''m in NYC so I had a plethora of wedding dress options available to me, but I pretty much knew that I wanted to go to Pronovias. I ended up with the very first dress I tried on (although I did try on many!) and it was the perfect dress for me. However, I did not have the tears or the OMG this is the one...in fact after I bought the dress I''ve had moments of regret and of course "dress envy", but still deep down I know its the perfect dress for me. Don''t worry about getting the tears and the "OMG" reaction from yourself. When you can look at yourself in the dress and envision what you will look like on your wedding day (and what you soon to be hubby will look like when he sees you!) you will know its the one, even without all the fireworks of emotion. Good luck! You will find it!

 

[allycat0303]

I didn''t have the OMG moment. My mom liked the dress a lot, and so did my sister. They kind of thought it suited my style (i.e who I am, and comes close to a much more romantic version of how I dress in real life). I think it looked nice, was the shape my husband wanted and the price was reasonable. The material was ok, and good for the price point. So it was for me *a practical dress that fit the criteria* Honestly, my husband doesn''t remember a thing about the dress. He doesn''t even remember that there was a HUGE bow on it. So, I''m glad I didn''t spend more on it, and I''m glad I didn''t waste more time picking it out (I hated dress shopping).

That being said, 7000 is a big budget, so I think you should be sure it''s something you love.

 

[happydreams]

agreed. i never had a ''this is it!'' moment. it was just the best of the bunch. i kept waiting for that magical moment where i would have tears in my eyes, but i just never felt that way. don''t get me wrong, i love my dress, but when i bought the dress, it wasn''t exactly a magical situation. (i bought a sample and pretty much had to make a quick decision and the sale was over that day)

i agree, you are spending a fortune on your dress and you should have more of a "I LOVE IT" moment. I spent far less, and i was still very cautious.

 

[So_In_Love]

I think it depends on the person...have you ever had the "OMG this is it" moment for anything else? I''m one of those people that say "I''ll know it when I see it", and its true for almost anything that I buy. I havent gone dress shopping yet, but I know that when I do, I''ll be looking at dresses until i get that "this is it " feeling

 

[elrohwen]

I pretty much had a "this is it" moment. I was looking through runway show pics in a magazine and saw my dress and I just knew that would be the dress I wore. I tried on others, but finally went to try on that dress and it was perfect. But I''m pretty good at decision making in general

I don''t think that most people have that moment.

Have you looked at dresses online? You see to know what you want to some extent and if you can go into dress shops with pictures of the dresses I don''t think they''ll push you into the princess look. There are a ton of dresses out there that are more fashion forward.

 

[pinki]

I highly recommend Etsy.com dealer yourfairytalewedding She has excellent customer service skills and she can make any dress you want for less than you''d pay for a designer dress. You just send her the images of the dress you want, any details you want or don''t want, measurements and she''ll make it!

CJ

 

[CNOS128]

There are dozens of independent dress designers in NY who would gladly create a custom gown for you without imposing a princess look on you. I would consult some of them. This way, you can choose your non-cheap fabric and detailing, and have control over the design.

 

[marlie]

i didn''t have the ''moment'' either. i loved my dress a lot when i picked it (and had some doubts afterward but every time i put it on i love it again but that''s another story) but i loved all the dresses i tried. i wanted to wear them all! i think there is this pressure to start bawling and jumping up and down when you are in THE dress but i don''t think that''s always the case and certainly wasn''t for me. i just looked in the mirror and said, this is how i want to look on my wedding day. i didn''t want the princess look, and i didn''t want anything fussy, just wanted something beautiful in a great fabric with a great silhouette. i''m sure you''ll find something soon but don''t pressure yourself with the feeling that you need to have that ''moment''. can''t wait to see what you pick!

 

[purselover]

My dress definitely felt right to me. When I started looking I tried on a few gorgeous Vera Wang dresses and as much as I wanted to love them (because like you I had a time crunch) they weren't "me". They were beautiful and I looked stunning in them, but I felt like a bride and not purselover. So then I tried on a few designer dresses that were hitting above the knee and I felt like purselover but not a bride! I started to feel very discouraged at this point when I ordered a dress from JCrew - when I put it on I was like "aha I'm a purselover bride!"

ETA: please don't get discouraged! I think there is a dress somewhere for everyone, good luck finding it!

 

[Prana]

I did have a ''this is the one'' moment, but it wasn''t until I put the dress on for the second time that I got a little watery-eyed. I knew the second I put it on, but decided to keep trying other dresses.

I''m really easy to please, though (with certain things). I wanted simple, so I didn''t bother to look at beading and fabric and all that stuff. I was most concerned with getting a dress that made me look good and felt good.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

I didn''t have an "OMG, this is it, fireworks and tears"moment. I did have a "Wow, this dress is gorgeous, and it looks great, and it is very ME, big smile" moment.

I am surprised no one has mentioned this already, and I don''t want to be rude, but maybe you are being a "snob" (your word, not mine) or as I would put it, just too picky. I tried on quite a few dresses in different price ranges before I found the one I went with. The dresses in the $4000 range that I tried by no means had "cheap fabrics" or "crappy beading or workmanship" and none of them were poofy or princessy (as I had told my SA that that is not what I wanted). So either you are going to the wrong places (which I don''t think you are since you are, I believe, a wedding planner) or maybe the samples you are trying on are a little tired (and therefore look crappy) and need to be retired or you are being too picky

I think that with your budget you can get a fabulous dress and I wish you the best of luck in your search!

 

[Bia]

Date: 2/24/2010 1:10:45 PM
Author: hisdiamondgirl
I didn''t have an ''OMG, this is it, fireworks and tears''moment. I did have a ''Wow, this dress is gorgeous, and it looks great, and it is very ME, big smile'' moment.

I am surprised no one has mentioned this already, and I don''t want to be rude, but maybe you are being a ''snob'' (your word, not mine) or as I would put it, just too picky. I tried on quite a few dresses in different price ranges before I found the one I went with. The dresses in the $4000 range that I tried by no means had ''cheap fabrics'' or ''crappy beading or workmanship'' and none of them were poofy or princessy (as I had told my SA that that is not what I wanted). So either you are going to the wrong places (which I don''t think you are since you are, I believe, a wedding planner) or maybe the samples you are trying on are a little tired (and therefore look crappy) and need to be retired or you are being too picky

I think that with your budget you can get a fabulous dress and I wish you the best of luck in your search!

+1

I can''t imagine a $7000 budget wouldn''t get you a MORE than nice wedding dress - even in NYC. Maybe your specifications are just too many and you need something custom. Which you should be able to make happen with the funds you''re working with.

ps: I don''t expect (or really believe in) the ''OMG THIS IS IT!!!!!

'' moment. Too many expectations can very easily lead to disappointment when it comes to wedding dress shopping imo.

 

[E B]

It wasn''t a fireworks, tears flowing moment for me either. More like a "Wow, this dress is SO me..." feeling.

Do you have an idea of what you want beyond romantic and fashionable? Silhouette, fabric, embellishment, etc.? If you''re unsure, are there certain elements you''re drawn to more than others?

 

[monkeyprincess]

I actually did know it was my dress when I put it on. Now, I''m not an overly expressive person with my emotions, so it was more of a subdued "this is the one" moment that could only be detected by people who know me well, but I nevertheless, had the moment. But then again, I didn''t go into the appointment with a long list of criteria or a $7,000 budget.

 

[Clairitek]

I didn''t have an intense "this is the one" moment. The way I knew it was the one was when I had tried on 100 other gowns and it was the ONLY one where I didn''t want to change one single solitary detail. I liked/loved everything about it. My MIL teared up but I didn''t even come close. I didn''t buy it right away but I revisited the pictures of me in it and sent them to my closest friends. They all had such strong reactions which made me feel great. The longer I let it marinate in my mind, the more I knew it was the gown for me. I think I waited almost a month between trying the gown on and purchasing it.

 

[LilyKat]

I ordered my dress unseen from a preowned dress site for $300. I put it on, it fit perfectly, it looked great, my mother loved it, and I couldn''t be happier

No, there weren''t tears and fireworks - just a feeling of satisfaction and contentment that I looked great and it was sorted.

I would venture to say that if you have been shopping 6 times, tried on a huge variety of dresses, have the biggest dress budget of anyone I have ever met, and STILL can''t find something you love - yes, you are being too picky. I wonder if the fact that you have such a large budget is making you have unrealistic expectations of what a dress will do for you? Most brides have a limited budget and have to find the best that they can within that - paradoxically I think that makes it easier to narrow down the options, and gives you that thrill of finding something that you can afford that you also love, which may be what you''re lacking.

Are you a person who tends to be reduced to tears of overwhelming happiness? I''m definitely not, so I didn''t expect it from my dress either. If you''re like me, then it''s time to get real. Try on the 5 dresses you liked again, search the internet to make sure there isn''t anything else out there - then pick your favourite of the bunch.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I kind of had a moment, than second guessed myself for 2 days. I didn''t cry, I did not get giddy, but I am not very emotional when it comes to buying things. But my dress is everything I want. I ended up having to increase my budget to get what I wanted too.

I do think you should love your dress, but you need to have a good idea of what you want. I know I have been dreaming about this dress since I was 5 and have had many different pictures of what it should be like. I know there are plenty of dresses out their that you are describing, expecially with the budget you have.

BTW - I am a total dress snob too. That is how I ended up with Monique. The silks in the price bracket below the dress I got just was not "good enough" for me. I even am looking at a silk dress for my BM, but I think they are nicely trying to talk me out of it because they are not "dress snobs" and are not thrilled with the price

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I was a silk snob too. I had my dress custom made in China where I got to pick the silk I wanted. I didn''t really have "the moment", but I loved my dress and how "me" it was.

 

[tigerhearted]

I definitely had a "The One!!" moment, but not everyone does.

Date: 2/23/2010 7:51:06 PM
Author:NakedFinger
I am completely turned off by cheap fabric, crappy beading or craftsmanship, and basically refuse to look like your quintessential catalog bride. I hate poofy dresses, and am not going for the 'princess' look which everyone seems to be imposing on me. I want a very romantic, and fashionable look.

Have you tried any dresses by Pronovias/La Sposa/San Patrick? My tastes run identical to what you've said here, and the Pronovias dresses really speak to me. The lace and beading is exquisite...definitely does not look like all that crappy factory-made looking stuff out there. Everything is made in Spain, the lace is handmade iirc. They are amazingly affordable for such great quality, my dress was ~$1500, and most of the Pronovias I saw were in the $1-2k range. Attached is a pic of my gown.


PS: I just noticed your dress budget, wow!! In that case, definitely check out www.clairepettibone.com, she has some really phenomenal dresses.

 

[NakedFinger]

Thank you ladies for your replies. At least I know I''m not crazy! lol

To answer some questions....yes I am a very emotional person. I cry at pretty much everything. So I guess thats why I am expecting "tears" to close the deal for me.

I considered the custom route, but am definitely concerned about timing with that. Plus the idea of not seeing what it looks like ahead of time makes me VERY nervous.

Good news is we decided to take the 9/3/10 instead of 7/23/10 date at our venue. So luckily that gives me a little more time and I wont be cutting is so close with the dress.