Did you have a curfew? Were your parents strict?

[zoebartlett]

A friend of mine and I were talking yesterday about how one of her daughters will be a teenager in a few years. We began talking about our childhoods and what we were like as teenagers (we didn''t meet until college). My friend''s parents were pretty strict, and she and her sisters all had curfews when they were in high school. I didn''t have one because my mom adopted the same philosophy her dad did: "We don''t need to give you a curfew. All your friends have them. What are you going to do when they have to get home? Go out by yourself? No, you''ll come home." So really, my mom just went by what other parents did, without ever really mandating that I be home by a certain time. It worked and there was no fighting about how late I could stay out. My parents did the same thing with my sister.

As far as how strict my parents were, my sister and I definitely had to share in all household chores. My parents believed that we were all responsible for making the house run smoothly, no matter how old we were. When we were little, we had to at least clear the dinner table, and as we got older, we were given more responsibilities. Other than that, I don''t think they were really strict. We were allowed to watch rated R movies earlier than we probably should have. I remember one time my mom tried to institute a "no TV until after dinner" rule, but that never worked. As long as we got our homework and chores done, they never made a fuss.

 

[Kaleigh]

Nope. And often I would get home before they did!!!

Crazy. I could have gotten in a lot of trouble, but I didn''t.

Yes my kids had curfews. I was a strict parent.

But was reasonable too. If they called to say a ride was late, that was fine by me. Better that, then waiting, wondering where the heck they are and why are they so late??
I love cell phones for that very reason... They do have a purpose in times like this!!!!

Luckily they were good and followed our rules.


I was like please if something comes up ( no matter what it is) , just call, and we will pick you up.

And stuff always comes up...

 

[packrat]

Yes and yes. I had to be in bed by 9 on school nights, 10 on Friday/Saturday. When I was in HS and had a job, I worked until 9 Mon-Thurs, so it was extended until 9:30. Fridays I worked 9pm-4am, so it didn''t apply there. Also, once the job started, my weekend curfew was 11:30. My brothers was 12:30. He was a year younger, but had a later curfew b/c he was a BOY. That went over like a ton of bricks, so after begging/pleading/bargaining didn''t work, I packed up as much as I could in my car one day and left them a note that I was moving in w/a guy I hung out with. They "called a meeting" with me and I took my stuff back home and ended up w/no curfew at all. Took advantage of it ONE time and came home at like 4-but I also had chores to do so yeah..home at 4, up at 7 for chores=NO fun haha!

I was a hellion for a couple years but that really changed my perspective on things, being treated like an adult that way, and it helped turn me around.

 

[stepcutgirl]

Um...yes...and it didn''t work out so well. I was not allowed to go out in groups until I was 16 and had a 10:30 curfew until I was 18. I got caught skipping school in 10th grade and they grounded me for 9 months...and stuck to it driving me to and from school and taking away me going anywhere. I still managed to skip school and get into too much trouble and in my early to mid 20''s you could certainly say I rebelled for all the time I didn''t spend partying when I was younger.

Now though it''s fairly common for me to be in bed at 10 on weekends and to consider going to a movie a "night out" and it''s been longer than I can remember since I had a drink. My how a few years changes us.

 

[sparklyheart]

Date: 5/9/2010 6:26:22 PM
Author:Zoe
A friend of mine and I were talking yesterday about how one of her daughters will be a teenager in a few years. We began talking about our childhoods and what we were like as teenagers (we didn''t meet until college). My friend''s parents were pretty strict, and she and her sisters all had curfews when they were in high school. I didn''t have one because my mom adopted the same philosophy her dad did: ''We don''t need to give you a curfew. All your friends have them. What are you going to do when they have to get home? Go out by yourself? No, you''ll come home.'' So really, my mom just went by what other parents did, without ever really mandating that I be home by a certain time. It worked and there was no fighting about how late I could stay out. My parents did the same thing with my sister.

As far as how strict my parents were, my sister and I definitely had to share in all household chores. My parents believed that we were all responsible for making the house run smoothly, no matter how old we were. When we were little, we had to at least clear the dinner table, and as we got older, we were given more responsibilities. Other than that, I don''t think they were really strict. We were allowed to watch rated R movies earlier than we probably should have. I remember one time my mom tried to institute a ''no TV until after dinner'' rule, but that never worked. As long as we got our homework and chores done, they never made a fuss.

That''s exactly what my mom would say to me. My older brothers both had curfews though.

Even though my friends had curfews, they could still have people over until whenever so it worked out well.. I was never the trouble-maker though so my parents didn''t really have much to worry about!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Um, no, I didn''t have a curfew b/c I couldn''t really go anywhere. I wasn''t allowed to ride in the car with someone unless they had had their license for at least 2 years and my parents said it was ok, I had to ask for permission to go anywhere

It did keep me out of trouble but, I think they went too far

 

[Indylady]

Date: 5/9/2010 10:00:33 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
Um, no, I didn''t have a curfew b/c I couldn''t really go anywhere. I wasn''t allowed to ride in the car with someone unless they had had their license for at least 2 years and my parents said it was ok, I had to ask for permission to go anywhere

It did keep me out of trouble but, I think they went too far

+1

 

[PumpkinPie]

my parents were fairly strict and we certainly had curfews.. now though we''re often home before them when I''m home for a visit. On New Years, I was home a bit before 1, while my mom came home at 2 after shooting tequila - I was totally sober

 

[mrscushion]

Yes, I had strict parents and a curfew on weekend nights. However, I used to sneak out behind their TV-watching backs quite frequently.

 

[vintagecharm]

Not officially, but I had to let them know where I was going (and see if they approved).

- I probably would let my kids stay out until their friends could (within reason, not the entire night).
- I would NEVER let my kids ride with a newly licensed driver, nor would I let them drive around their friends when they were a new driver.

 

[bee*]

No my parents weren''t too strict. We didn''t have a curfew. Once we told them where we were going and what time we were going to be home they were fine.

 

[soocool]

Oh ya!!! My mom and dad were strict. More so with me than with my older sister. As for my DD, she only has to let me know if she is going to be late for any reason. She knows when she needs to be home.

There were a few occasions when she was at a party that had booze and called me to pick up her and a couple of her friends> She is uncomfortable when kids are doing things they are not supposed to be doing. And her friends tell me that if their parents found out that there was anything illegal at the party they would get into serious trouble, even if they had left the party. So the story is that the party was boring and I call the parents to let them know that I took the girls out to a movie instead. (and yes I do take them to a movie or rent one and they watch here.)

 

[ksinger]

Yes, looking back, pretty strict. Of course I didn''t know that because I really didn''t have much to compare it to. I don''t recall that there was a curfew per se, but I couldn''t go anywhere without permission, and any curfew was applied depending on the event. I didn''t have a car so it kinda limited most things. I recall (it''s been over 30 years so the memory is a bit hazy) that I couldn''t stay out past 10 on any school night, and even being OUT on a school night was going to be a bit iffy. School functions? Maybe. Dates or ''hanging out'' midweek? Perish the thought.

She was very sticky about who I was with too. And insisted that I call whenever I got to where I was supposed to be, and again when I was leaving to come home. I always did. I was a very agreeable child and teen. I had a good gig, and I knew it.

 

[that_someone_special]

Ahmmmmm no. I was a bad kid (with good grades) If they did try to give me one I snuck out. Not hard though since I was in the basement level and everyone else was at the other end of the house. My window also provided easy access. But, I really preferred to use the door.

There were nights that I wouldn''t even come home! After HS I still lived at home and would go out at least 3 times a week. By then I would just tell my parents if I was coming home or not. They had two other kids to worry about (one of which is the black sheep in the family) so we never really had arguments.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I didn''t have a curfew, however the rule in my house was that I had to call and let my parents know where I was. I was a band geek in high school. And I hung out with other band geeks, so I wasn''t out being crazy. I had a couple of close friends and I was with them about 99% of the time, so my parents always knew who I was with and I would let them know where we were going. Looking back, I could have easily lied, but I genuinely didn''t want to break my parents'' trust. I think that earning freedom through responsibility is a big part of becoming an adult, but I have a feeling I will be giving my kids a curfew...I guess I''ll have to wait and see!

On a side note, my best friend through childhood (and adulthood!) had VERY strict parents. She could not WAIT to leave and go to college. I couldn''t wait to go to college, either, but it wasn''t from lack of freedom. I was never a "partier". I could count the number of drinks I had on one hand through all four years of colllege while my friend went absolutely crazy. I really worried about her for a couple of years.

 

[Strawdermangrl]

My dad was the Advance Lead for two Presidents and my mom worked at the DOD. Needless to say? They were pretty freaking strict. My Mom told me a few years back that they would wait until I had the time to get where I was going and on occassion,would drive by to see if I was actually there.

<--- I started thinking back. LOL. I never did anything bad, and they were pretty great about giving me extra time out and whatnot when my grades were good. My curfew was never past 1130 on the weekends and school nights I had to be in by 10. The rule was, every minute you are late is a day you are grounded. My grounded was to my room, no phone, no tv, nothing. (before internet, mind you.) I was never late for curfew, go figure. Also, if I got below a C on the report card, I was grounded until the next report card came out. If I got a progress report, I was grounded until the report card came out. As I type this, I realize how strict they really were. But? I think that they did what they did because they love me and wanted me to be a responsible person.

 

[elrohwen]

Well, before I could drive myself places, my curfew was basically as late as my parents would pick me up - so probabaly 10pm. Once I had a car, there was a mandatory 11pm curfew for junior drivers, so that was my new curfew (unless I stayed over at a friend's house). Soon after I got my adult licence I went to college, but I don't think I really had a curfew after that point anyway.

Though I did have a strict rule about calling my mom and telling her where I was if I was going to be out late. During college breaks my friends and I would hang out until 2am or something and my mom would be home worrying, so I had to call her and let her know that I was ok and coming home at some point.

eta: I was a very tame teenager and spent all of my time with 4 close girlfriends, so my parents trusted us. We might stay out late, but we were probably just sitting at one of the girl's houses watching a movie. They knew I wasn't out being crazy, so they trusted me. They weren't really strict because I was such a good kid. I had to help out around the house and stuff, but I just kind of did what they asked and didn't need a lot of rules.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes, I had a curfew. However, I usually (when I came home at curfew) just went in my room and right out the window...

 

[redfaerythinker]

The only curfew I had was state mandated. Anyone under 18 had to be home by midnight. And my parents were super strict. I was grounded for about six months because I got a D for the first time my senior year.

They were also really overprotective, for example I had a babysitter until I was 14. I''m pretty sure everyone else was babysitting at that time.

 

[Porridge]

Nope, my parents weren''t strict at all. I did always let them know where I was though.

 

[Haven]

I never had a curfew. We really didn''t have any rules.

I wish we had. I plan on giving my own (future) children more structure.

 

[Clio]

I never had a curfew. I needed to let them know where I would be, who I would be with, and when I would be home. If we changed plans or I would be home later, I had to call.

However, we lived in a town with no much to do late at night, so they knew I would be home at a reasonable hour. Once we moved to New Orleans and my sister started coming home at 5 am (!), they institute a curfew. By that point, however, I was away at college.

 

[tyty333]

My parents were so-so strict. I had a midnight curfew (my brothers didnt have one

). I whined and complained about
it (because I could

and it made my parents feel like they were doing their job) but honestly there wasn''t much going on after
midnight.

 

[princesss]

Yes and yes. For most of high school my curfew was 11:30. Senior year I screwed up in a major way, and my curfew was sunset (so between 6 and 6:30). If my mom wasn''t home, she''d call the house and talk to me to make sure I was home. The only exception was prom, and even then I went straight home once prom was done - no after parties for me. Once I turned 18 (a week before graduation) they changed it to 2 AM, and then let me stay out all night for grad party.

So, yeah...they were strict, and boy did I know they meant it when they said that bad things would happen if I got in trouble.

 

[Sizzle]

Interesting topic. My moms philosophy was "you know what''s ridiculous".. well I did, but decided to test the theory and come in at 4AM.. I guess somewhere between 1-4 was UNACCEPTABLE. I think got into "working out" every day so I would go to the "gym" at 5AM and come back by 6:30 to get ready for school. I''m 35 now and I confessed to my all nighters a few months ago! ahh those were the days! I always looked older and a major university was less than an hour away.. so I had "fun"!

NOW I have a teenager of my own and the city actually has very strict curfew ordinances. 12 on the weekend and 10 on the weekdays, unless it''s a school event or you''re out with your parents! I''m a bit put off that they feel the need to regulate my child, but what can you really do!

 

[HopeDream]

No Curfew - I was a completely boring teenager

. My mom would nag me to go to bed if I was staying up too late working on my math/chem homework

.
My other siblings were also fairly boring and had no curfews either. What is wrong with my family?!?!

 

[Puppmom]

I had a curfew and my parents were pretty strict about it - 1 min late and you''re grounded. However, I would sleep over my friend''s house EVERY weekend and she had NO curfew. That''s how I ended up knocked up and 16.

I never would have done any of the things I did at my parent''s house. I was afraid of my mom!

 

[sillyberry]

No curfew, but I was definitely a boring teenager who gave my parents nothing to worry about. Lots of speech and debate tournaments on the weekends...no drinking, no drugs, no sex. Although, I definitely was the person my friends with curfews would spend the night with so we could stay out later. They lied to their parents a lot to stay out, but even then we weren''t doing anything particularly bad. Mostly just going to movies and driving around meeting friends at the playground (where we were not up to no good).

My high school best friend and I still laugh because the stuff we did that was "bad" seems tame in general, and REALLY TAME compared to the stuff her delinquent little brother pulled a few years later.

 

[somethingshiny]

Yes, I had strict parents and a curfew. I lived at home when I was 18, engaged to DH, had a 10pm curfew on weeknights and a midnight curfew on weekends. I was only allowed out 1 night a week and Fri/Sat.

Every minute I was late, I was grounded for a day. I wasn''t allowed to go out until I was 16 and spent most of that year grounded. I even got grounded for a month because I got a flat tire even though I called my mom and was greasy and had a donut on the car when I got home.

I was only allowed to ride with 2 friends. I wasn''t allowed to go out with a guy until he came into our home and was grilled by my parents. I never just left the house, plans had to be discussed well in advance.

I was late once and had to sneak IN the house. My parents were usually asleep when I got home but would check the clock when I woke them up. This particular night, I could see my dad wondering the house. I was nearly 30 minutes late which would have been grounded for a month. I went to my bedroom window and took off my jeans, went around to the front of the house in my long t-shirt (the way I would have gone to bed.) and started calling for the dog. A couple minutes later my dad came out the door to see what was going on. I put on this big show about how I was sleeping and heard the dog barking and came out to investigate. He assumed I woke him up earlier and he didn''t remember. We made sure the dog was okay, I went to bed, leaned out my window to grab my jeans and went to bed very pleased with myself.

I was also grounded if I ever got a B on my report card until the next report card came out.

 

[ts44]

I had a curfew and rules about where I went at what time, but it was all wholly unnecessary. My sister and I were very content to read books at home and go to bed early most nights of the week, or hang out with close family friends at their houses on the weekends.

It is very strange to be on the receiving end of a lecture from your father about how disappointed he is that you do not wear makeup and go out on dates.

When he was done, and he asked me what I had to say about it, I said that I wished I had a tape recorder to replay that back to him in the future. We had a laugh about it then!