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Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremony?

lucyandroger

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Dec 12, 2008
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I'm interested in what other ladies did or have decided to do. And of course your reasons behind the decision.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

As for us...we're still deciding what to do (hence, this thread :bigsmile: )

My FI is a traditionalist and would really prefer not to see me in my gown before the actual ceremony. We have time between the ceremony and reception so we can take plent of photos then. But I remember reading somewhere that a couple did a sort of a "last date" on the morning of the wedding. They went out to breakfast in regular clothes and just spent some couple time together before the craziness of the wedding began. I think this idea is really cute...so does FI but he's still a little nervous that it's bad luck. Anyway, we've been going back and forth so I'm interested to hear other people's plans or experiences.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We didn't and it really wasn't something we discussed either. We both just assumed that on our wedding day, we wouldn't see each other until I walked down the aisle on my dad's arm. :))
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

lucyandroger said:
As for us...we're still deciding what to do (hence, this thread :bigsmile: )

My FI is a traditionalist and would really prefer not to see me in my gown before the actual ceremony. We have time between the ceremony and reception so we can take plent of photos then. But I remember reading somewhere that a couple did a sort of a "last date" on the morning of the wedding. They went out to breakfast in regular clothes and just spent some couple time together before the craziness of the wedding began. I think this idea is really cute...so does FI but he's still a little nervous that it's bad luck. Anyway, we've been going back and forth so I'm interested to hear other people's plans or experiences.

FI and I are both in the "first look in wedding attire is when we see eachother at opposite ends of the aisle" camp...but that breakfast date sounds pretty sweet and romantic. I don't think it's bad luck to see each other before the wedding, and like you, we have time between the ceremony and reception for plenty of pictures, so that's when they'll be done. But a sweet morning date like that sounds fabulous. Definitely going to run that option by FI!
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We did a "first look." We were having an evening wedding with cocktail hour and dinner immediately following, and I wanted more time to get a ton of great pictures. Our first look pictures are some of my favorite from the entire day. I'm also glad I did it because it cleared out most of the butterflies I had. If I had waited another two hours to see DH I can't imagine what state I would have been in!
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We are doing the "first look" and will be seeing each other before the ceremony. Our cocktail hour and reception are immediately after the ceremony, all of which are being done in the same place, and we don't want to miss out on the cocktail hour to take pictures. We want to party it up ASAP after we say our I-dos!

Like Steph said, I also think this will help calm us both down. My FI is convinced he's going to cry like a baby, and I think he's hoping he can get some of the waterworks out of the way earlier in the day so his macho reputation remains intact. :P
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We're doing a first look. We wanted to mostly because once the ceremony starts, you're at the will of your guests and the clock. The whole thing is over in a blink. We felt that having the opportunity to sit down together for 15 minutes and just have a last minute "HOLY SHIT! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!" moment will really be special for us and a chance to take it allllll in.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

Nope!! My FI and I plan to spend the night apart (we will have lived together for nearly 2 yrs by the time we're married, so that's a pretty big deal). So the last time I'll see him before the wedding will be after dinner the day before. Part of me is :errrr: :errrr: :errrr: and another part of me thinks it's a fantastic idea. I can't wait to see him standing at the altar as I walk in. :bigsmile: He also will not see my dress, or know much of anything about it. I'm glad we both agree to these more traditional things. :))
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We had a photographed "first look" and then took pictures ahead of our evening wedding ceremony with reception immediately following. We spent the night before the wedding apart and did not see each other that day (although we did have to talk on the phone to coordinate some flower drop offs, etc., and left items outside each others' hotel rooms which was sort of funny).

I enjoyed having that moment with him ahead of time and to really remember the moment and have that "OMG!!!" moment together. I actually liked it better than waiting until walking down the aisle because it allowed us to talk and hug and sort of bask in the excitement together freely, instead of being up at the altar/wherever and not able to really talk at that point, ya know?

It also relaxed us a bit getting to run around taking pictures for a few hours before the ceremony. I know I needed it, although even with that, I was still a bawling basketcase come ceremony time! :tongue:
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We will not be seeing eachother before the wedding....and we too will be going straight into the reception.

We are having a pretty low-key, non traditional affair. My fiance is very easy going and has been easy through out the whole process. I mean, not super involved, but always willing to help or give an opinion.

Anyway, not seeing me before the wedding was something he felt VERY strongly about. And honestly, I have always envisioned that moment as well...when he sees me for the first time and I am coming down the aisle. But, he feels SO strongly about it that he refused to see my shoes, refused to see my hair piece, not even the lipstick I plan on wearing. In fact, I had my hair and makeup run through, and he got home before me that day, so he hid in the extra bedroom while I showered it all off.

Yeah, he is taking to the extreme, but I kind of find it adorable because he is normally so easy going. I like that he feels so strongly about this!
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We're doing a first look for a lot of the same reasons - evening ceremony, followed immediately by the reception at the same location. I am excited to get to have some time with just him before the ceremony, being silly and romantic and getting out any nerves. We're not all that traditional, so I'm not concerned about having that moment at the altar. From what I've heard, the moment is pretty magical whether or not you've seen each other!

I've also always been impressed with First Look photos...from my (limited) experience they're more like a photo shoot than the photos that are done post-ceremony. For me, that's really important and the photographers I've talked to have highly recommended a First Look to maximize their photo opportunities. Doing photos first also will allow us to get some of the Chicago landmark photos (Millennium Park Bean, Buckingham Fountain) that we wouldn't get otherwise.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

FI and I spent the night apart - though, admittedly, this was more because my extended family in town wouldn't have appreciated the reminder that I'd been "living in sin" for the last two years than anything else :halo:

We had two ceremonies, so we saw each other in Indian wedding attire in the morning. The first time he saw me in my dress was at the evening ceremony, and the photographer took a really beautiful photo of his 'first look' :)) he'd seen the dress itself in pictures many times before, though, as it was originally my MIL's.

I don't think seeing him in the morning made any difference to my nerves - I was just terribly antsy all day long. Or maybe it helped, in which case I'm glad I did see him, because if I'd been any more nervous I'd probably have bolted and tried to hide in the loo for the duration of the ceremony or something..

We did a "first date" type lunch the day after the wedding, at the food court in the local mall, and that's one of my absolute favourite memories ::) we were so relaxed, and so happy to be married, doing something so simple and normal together as husband and wife, finally :bigsmile:
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

I seen my husband before the ceremony, but I was not in my wedding dress, we decided to wait until the ceremony for him to see me.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

No I didn't see DH until I walked down the aisle. Seeing each other prior to the ceremony isn't common at all over here and I wouldn't have wanted to do it myself either. I couldn't wait to see his face when I walked down the aisle and it was definitely worth waiting for that look.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

lucyandroger said:
As for us...we're still deciding what to do (hence, this thread :bigsmile: )

My FI is a traditionalist and would really prefer not to see me in my gown before the actual ceremony. We have time between the ceremony and reception so we can take plent of photos then. But I remember reading somewhere that a couple did a sort of a "last date" on the morning of the wedding. They went out to breakfast in regular clothes and just spent some couple time together before the craziness of the wedding began. I think this idea is really cute...so does FI but he's still a little nervous that it's bad luck. Anyway, we've been going back and forth so I'm interested to hear other people's plans or experiences.

Lucyandroger, regarding the above (adorable) idea, here's the ONLY reason i would not consider this - on the night before my wedding, I COULD NOT SLEEP and it drove me crazy. I tried, but tossed and turned most of the night, waking up frequently. By the time i woke up, i was a wreck because i had slept so poorly and it was such a big day -- i don't think i could have enjoyed a breakfast out with my then fiance. When i told my BMs this at brunch - they agreed and said they hadn't slept well the night before. I enjoyed just having the morning with my girls to have them calm me down and get ready together etc.

Personally, i didn't see or talk to my husband before the wedding ceremony -- i didn't have an opinion on it, and would have liked to save time after the ceremony but he didn't like the idea. In reality, although it would have saved time, we still would have had to do the "family" pics after anyway, so i don't know how much time it would have saved and it seems like you have extra time anyway.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

Erm...I have NO idea!

We haven't even set a date yet...but we both have ideas of how we want things, of course.

*Scattered!* Idk, Idk, Idk!!!! This thread is freaking me out!!!
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We eloped, and got ready together on the day. This didn't bother either of us in the slightest - we are a really "team" kind of a couple and wanted to share the experience. I really like the photos of us getting ready - they are really relaxed, intimate and fun. We went to the ceremony separately though, and I didn't get dressed until after he left (having said that, he helped me pick the dress so it wasn't a surprise!).
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

I'm interested about this. I'd like more picture time. I'd like less time between the ceremony and reception for the guests' sake. Has anyone posted "First Look" photos?
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

DH and I chose to see each other before, and we were glad we did. The day was so hectic and busy that we were glad to have a few minutes by ourselves to soak in everything that happened. They made for some beautifully candid and gorgeous pictures. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach walking up to DH all decked out in my wedding gear was unlike anything I had ever felt before, and I'm sure I'll never feel it again. It was the most special part of the day (other than getting married of course :bigsmile: )
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

hoofbeats95 said:
I'm interested about this. I'd like more picture time. I'd like less time between the ceremony and reception for the guests' sake. Has anyone posted "First Look" photos?

Here's ours!

stephfirstlook.jpg
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

I will be seeing him before the wedding, we will be sleeping in our bed the night before and waking up/seeing each other the morning of. It isn't important to me to stick with traditions and I don't buy into wedding things being good or bad luck. Before I picked a wedding time I had decided it would make me feel much more comfortable and calm me down to see him before the wedding. In the end because my wedding will be on New Years Eve it needed to be an evening wedding and as such we will be doing pictures before sunset that day.

I think whatever you both want is what you should do. If you want to see each other first then don't let other talk you out of it and vice versa. Good luck deciding!
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

question for those of you who did the first look...

was it awkward to leave your FI afterward? or was it more like ok, see you at the altar! did you still feel butterflies walking down the aisle?

did you do ALL of the pictures before the ceremony?
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

slg47 said:
question for those of you who did the first look...

was it awkward to leave your FI afterward? or was it more like ok, see you at the altar! did you still feel butterflies walking down the aisle?

did you do ALL of the pictures before the ceremony?

No it wasn't awkward to leave him because we did photos right up to.the time we had to start lining up. Yes I still had butterflies! As soon as that music changed to my processional, I definitely went OMG this is it! We did all the posed photos before the ceremony, we wanted to enjoy our hard work and mingle with the guests. If you don't have a gap between ceremony and reception, I highly recommend doing photos first.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

I'm loving reading all of these responses! Thank you everyone for chiming in!!!

Steph, Your first look photos are beautiful!!!

violet3, I can totally see the not sleeping thing happening to me as well! But I think the only person who would really calm me down after that would be my FI! Our wedding doesn't start until 3PM so we could do a late breakfast and still be fine on time. I think...
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We didn't sleep together the night before we wedding but we did have "first look" pictures taken. I'll attach them below. To me, seeing him calmed my nerves sooooo much. We met in the hotel for our first look pics then we drove to the ceremony site together alone. We also drove to the reception together alone after the ceremony. I really enjoyed that.

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Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

That last picture was after we hugged and I took a step back and said "Okay, so I know you said you don't like beading and lace, but what do you think?"

He kept telling me that he didn't like all that "beading and lace crap" on wedding gowns when I did my shopping, but what did I buy? A dress covered in beading and lace! He actually never admitted that he liked the dress. The most he'll say is "You looked beautiful in it." Psssh. Oh well. :tongue:
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

This is a great question, lucyandroger. My sister got married last Friday and she did a first look with her now-husband because their wedding was at 5pm and they wanted to go straight to the reception. She said she loved it and it got all the tears/nerves out of the way before the wedding. They didn't stay together the night before though, so I think she was really missing her hubby by then. He has a very soothing presence when she's stressed.

As for me, I really wanted to do a first look too because I'm (a) feeling a little "private"/shy about this whole getting married thing, and (b) I'm prone to anxiety so I think it will help with that. My FI doesn't really want to do it, but he did emphatically say that he planned to stay with me at our place the night before and have breakfast with me the morning of the wedding. I think this is a nice compromise but I feel like our "meeting" at the wedding will feel very public (not intimate as I would prefer). Oh, well!

Sorry for the novel! I have been thinking about this a lot...
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We were staying in our wedding venue for a few days (destination wedding), so we shared a room, but he left in the morning to free up the room for my bridesmaids and me. We considered doing a first look to cut down on portrait time during cocktail hour, but ended up not doing it.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

We eloped. It was just the two of us, so he had to zip me into my dress! ;))


I could have done it myself, but no without wrinkling the dress all the hell.
 
Re: Did you/Do you plan to see your groom before the ceremon

No way! We went out of our way to make sure we didn't accidentally see each other before the ceremony. Trust me, that moment when you see each other for the very first time when you're walking down the aisle is SO amazing and emotional! I highly recommend it. :bigsmile:
 
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