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Did I overreact?

tkyasx78

tkyasx78

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 28, 2017
Messages
1,640
I was wanting to look at some channel set round wedding bands to replace a set I lost years back. We dont have a lot of jewelry stores in my small town but I didnt want to drive an hour to go to my regular jeweler. I came into the local store a sales lady approached and I asked to see the channel set bands and if they have vs quality stones in any of them in stock ( I cant stand inclusions in my band stones)
Anyway she tells me that any ring can be special ordered with vs clarity stones but the display bands will all be si or worse :((
So she disappears and a salesman ( I did not know he was a manager till later) comes out from the back. I explain what I am looking for and he says he would be willing to take my ring back and clean it and we can put it with some of the display sets to see what I would like best.
So take off my ring and he comments on what a beautiful diamond it is and asks what the stats on it are. I tell him the basic stats and where I bought it and he takes my ring and checks the girdle and then writes down the GIA number and then he gets his ipad out on the display case and looks up my number!
Do other jewelry stores look up your GIA stats when they see your diamond even if you are not there for an ering? It was weird how long he was hanging out with my ring before coming back over to me. It was almost like he had never seen one before :shock:

I was thinking, sir I may not be a spring chicken but I can remember basic details like the clarity and color.
Then he shows me the online cert info I just told him and he says “ did you know you can look these up online?”
:confused2:

I replied I was aware. I asked for my ring put it on and left. Dh thinks I overreacted and the man was just trying to find stuff to chat about. He thinks they dont sell a lot of large diamonds since all the display rings had not so large settings and so the guy was curious and wanted to check it out. He says men sometimes just don’t know what to say. I think it is one thing to check an inscription and note it before you take a ring to the back for a quick cleaning, but it is entirely another to look it up and treat a customer like they are from the stone age !
 
I think we expect everyone to be a pser rather than realizing we are the exception. Most jewelers don’t come across psers. I love shopping for jewelry but I always assume and expect jewelers to be less knowledgeable than me when it comes to diamonds. Lol. And they usually are! Brick and mortar that is. So I’ve leanerned to to be easily offended.
 
I have been more fiesty than usual lately. Must be the summer heat.:whistle:

I can sometimes tell when I am being less than patient with people , when I drive and everyone on the road is driving “the worst driver ever “ rotf!
:oops:
 
Yes, it is well established I am very very likely to overreact when I hear anything about trump. You are 100% right there DF! ;)2
Maybe if I turn off the news and ignore the world for a few days I will simmer down!
 
tkyasx78 said:
I was wanting to look at some channel set round wedding bands to replace a set I lost years back. We dont have a lot of jewelry stores in my small town but I didnt want to drive an hour to go to my regular jeweler. I came into the local store a sales lady approached and I asked to see the channel set bands and if they have vs quality stones in any of them in stock ( I cant stand inclusions in my band stones)
Anyway she tells me that any ring can be special ordered with vs clarity stones but the display bands will all be si or worse :((
So she disappears and a salesman ( I did not know he was a manager till later) comes out from the back. I explain what I am looking for and he says he would be willing to take my ring back and clean it and we can put it with some of the display sets to see what I would like best.
So take off my ring and he comments on what a beautiful diamond it is and asks what the stats on it are. I tell him the basic stats and where I bought it and he takes my ring and checks the girdle and then writes down the GIA number and then he gets his ipad out on the display case and looks up my number!
Do other jewelry stores look up your GIA stats when they see your diamond even if you are not there for an ering? It was weird how long he was hanging out with my ring before coming back over to me. It was almost like he had never seen one before :shock:

I was thinking, sir I may not be a spring chicken but I can remember basic details like the clarity and color.
Then he shows me the online cert info I just told him and he says “ did you know you can look these up online?”
:confused2:

I replied I was aware. I asked for my ring put it on and left. Dh thinks I overreacted and the man was just trying to find stuff to chat about. He thinks they dont sell a lot of large diamonds since all the display rings had not so large settings and so the guy was curious and wanted to check it out. He says men sometimes just don’t know what to say. I think it is one thing to check an inscription and note it before you take a ring to the back for a quick cleaning, but it is entirely another to look it up and treat a customer like they are from the stone age !
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Awe. I’m sorry you got freaked out! Did he clean your ring, before you bolted?
 
I don't think his actions would have caused me to leave so soon. I think he was more less admiring your ring. ;)) He may have just wanted to see if the actual stats matched up to what you said they were. Like, maybe he thought the stats were better than what you said. (I could totally see him thinking you didn't know your correct ring stats, most "normal" women probably don't)

Was it a bit strange/out of the norm behavior? Yes. But again, I think intentionally, harmless. :))
 
He probably hadn't ever seen/sold a diamond that big/nice and was checking to see if it was a sim o_O
 
Hmmm....Im sure he was admiring it, or trying to find something to inform you about, but the way in which he did so I imagine must a felt a tad invasive. Something like that once happened to me in a jewelry store in a small town. The woman jeweler offered to clean my rings, which took a long time in the back. Meanwhile I was getting a tad edgy about it. Then, she she came out and proceeded to put them under the microscope to check for prong issues/setting maintenance. I guess she wanted to fully service the rings and tell me something I didn’t know, like a prong was a little loose. I was highly annoyed that she didn’t tell me what she was doing until after she did it. For me, It really brought up a the fact that I didn’t trust her . So, I might have felt the same way.
 
I would feel violated too.

He should have asked if you minded if he looked up the cert. Your ring wasn’t merchandise. It was your personal property. You didn’t hand it off to be appraised. You handed it off for a cleaning.

He’s a jerk. You did nothing wrong.
 
I would have been weirded out too. And me being me, I probably would have asked what he was doing, taken my ring back, and told him he’d overstepped. You weren’t asking for verification of your stone or specs after all!
 
I think it’s psychological. Some jewelers who truly love stones are humble and respectful when presented with something which they haven’t seen or don’t carry, or don’t know much about. They usually try to learn more about it and aren’t shy to ask and don’t pretend to know more than they do.
Then there are those who when presented with something outside of thier business scope, insist upon maintaining a kind of professional authority over the person, even when they know they don’t have it at that moment, usually by playing inspector roles, such as unwarranted looking up and checking under microscopes. And they take liberties which they should not. For me the best analogy that I can think of is that it felt like (to a lesser extent of course) , waiting for a loved one to come out of surgery with a surgeon who has way too much ego to be really good lol.
 
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My experience in jewelry stores is that they always try to criticize my jewelry. Either he was just really interested, as we often are, and just wanted to check the stats because he doesn't get to see/sell such nice stones, or he was looking for something to criticize so he could sell you something. I'm leaning toward the former.
 
lyra said:
My experience in jewelry stores is that they always try to criticize my jewelry. Either he was just really interested, as we often are, and just wanted to check the stats because he doesn't get to see/sell such nice stones, or he was looking for something to criticize so he could sell you something. I'm leaning toward the former.
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Yup, I’ve felt this way too. They want you to see them as the jewelry expert so that you buy from them.
 
Honestly I would have thought he's noting it so you can't claim he swapped it afterwards. After the Kays thing I heard it was more common to accuse jewellers of doing this (even when they hadn't) to try to get them to settle.
 
Ellen said:
I don't think his actions would have caused me to leave so soon. I think he was more less admiring your ring. ;)) He may have just wanted to see if the actual stats matched up to what you said they were. Like, maybe he thought the stats were better than what you said. (I could totally see him thinking you didn't know your correct ring stats, most "normal" women probably don't)

Was it a bit strange/out of the norm behavior? Yes. But again, I think intentionally, harmless. :))
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That could be, I felt —-like he was saying I might not have remembered them correctly. And then When he saw I was correct , it felt like he then felt the need to “educate me” on how to look stuff up online.

Dont get me wrong I have a terrible memory. I forget where I left my keys half the time , but I remember getting my anniversary presents! I was at my jeweler for hours looking at the options they had brought in for me! If he had gone to a sports car dealership , whatever line of vehicles he likes, letting him shop for hours picking the exact one he wants down to the last detail . Years later I am sure he will still know on the top of his head the make model and color of the car.


ringo865 said:
He probably hadn't ever seen/sold a diamond that big/nice and was checking to see if it was a sim o_O
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Could be. I dont know why anyone would tell a jeweler a sim was real though. A gia report maps the inclusions and the diamond is inscribed right on the girdle! It literally takes 2 seconds to get the number with a loupe and verify the plotted inclusions.
Although I am sure there are people out there who would be nuts enough to try it.

Bluegemz said:
Hmmm....Im sure he was admiring it, or trying to find something to inform you about, but the way in which he did so I imagine must a felt a tad invasive. Something like that once happened to me in a jewelry store in a small town. The woman jeweler offered to clean my rings, which took a long time in the back. Meanwhile I was getting a tad edgy about it. Then, she she came out and proceeded to put them under the microscope to check for prong issues/setting maintenance. I guess she wanted to fully service the rings and tell me something I didn’t know, like a prong was a little loose. I was highly annoyed that she didn’t tell me what she was doing until after she did it. For me, It really brought up a the fact that I didn’t trust her . So, I might have felt the same way.
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Yes he used the microscope to get the number and look at it, maybe he was looking at the prongs? He did spend what felt like a long time with it. I am glad he didnt take my ring in back!!!! I still cant find my loupe, and they dont sell them at jewelry stores ( why they dont I will never understand though)

House Cat said:
I would feel violated too.

He should have asked if you minded if he looked up the cert. Your ring wasn’t merchandise. It was your personal property. You didn’t hand it off to be appraised. You handed it off for a cleaning.

He’s a jerk. You did nothing wrong.
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I agree! If he likes to check out diamonds he could have said , can I look this one up before I clean it? I would have been fine with that and probably explained why I loved that particular one. I remember when I bought it there was a 3 carat that I almost picked instead. It had a better cut ( this was before pricescope days so dont shoot me ) . I wanted 100% eyeclean and no yellow in normal lighting. This one was bigger and eye clean and size mattered more than cut at the time. I would have been happy to talk about that while checking how band sets would look with it!
I thought I wanted rounds but have been thinking I should go with baguette or reset my current setting. The side baguettes just dont look as nice as I want side stones to be with a round and frankly I dont love the cuts of the stones in the band part. Large flashes but only at certain angles from the side stones. With round stones you almost always get some sparkle at every angle. The ones I have in the ring are too long and narrow and not cut well enough to sparkle like I prefer. I think I would prefer rounds as side stones too. Maybe next year I will reset and get matching bands all at the same time.
 
I wouldn't have been weirded out. It's clearly a significant stone and it's protective for jewelers to make sure that they know exactly what they are handling prior to handling things so that they can't then be accused of swapping something out.
 
soxfan said:
This is why I avoid local jewelers like the PLAGUE.
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They should keep more nice larger stones in stock to they dont have to Gawk at peoples rings. It has been my experience in the past that is I go to a store they never have a selection of large stones in. They will have a ton under a carat to look at but always have to order in anything over.
Even my haloed 1.63 had to be requested with others in the same price range when I got that one. They would sell a lot more stones in other carat sizes if they had them in stock to look at. Now it seems people either buy online or they way way way over pay!
 
cmd2014 said:
I wouldn't have been weirded out. It's clearly a significant stone and it's protective for jewelers to make sure that they know exactly what they are handling prior to handling things so that they can't then be accused of swapping something out.
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That is a good point. It never occurred to me he would worry about stuff like that and there are many dishonest people in the world. Plus if a prong was loose or something a cleaner could have made it worse. I didnt think of that. I doubt dishonest people have verifiable reciepts for larger diamonds showing what they own, but dishonest people probably don't care. When I was a manager at Dillards years ago , you would not believe the things people tried to get away with.
 
Jewelers have asked to see my rings and loupe the stone before, but never check the GIA stats. He is either really excited about the GIA online report lookup tool or he's worried you'll accuse him of swapping out your stone.
 
His communication skills could certainly use some fine-tuning. He should have asked permission before looking up your stone's stats.
 
The place I got to for cleaning and basic checking does in fact ask me questions about my rings and other jewlery. They are a very high end jewlery store, (and they're right next door to Graff!!) but, they still ask because I've worn what they would consider some pretty unusual things.

For instance, my anniversary ring. They thought it was a paraiba. Its not, but it sure is pretty!:mrgreen2: They love the setting (everybody in the real world does!!) and they said they don't often see channel set french cuts. Of course I said thank you and big propped BE!!! But let me be very honest; as much as I love this ring, its not particularly spectacular by PS standards. This ring gets comments everywhere I wear it though.

the spessartite had them confused. They though the tsaverite was an emerald...um..no .... The sphene was something they had never seen before. And the Mehenge Spinel? yeah that was a whole other hour of explanations.

I had them set some south sea pearls. Again, by most normal standards they are absolutely TDF, but they're pretty average where PS is concerned. They were gifts for my nieces. I was specific about the findings they used. They're no doubt used to picky, but not PS picky...:P2

They asked if I wanted to have my earrings cleaned while I was waiting on some stuff to be done, and they asked if they had a report (they actually said "cert", of course they got corrected:lol:) They scoped the earrings, and looked up the reports. I don't recall them asking permission to do so. If you tell them the stones have a number, they'll probably look it up for safety reasons and also to prevent fraud (on their part and the customer) if they handle your jewlery for cleaning or repair. And of course oooh and ahhhed. They're gorgeous earrings to be sure but they are NORMAL for PS. not so much for everyone else.

So or course they were curious...they asked if I was in the business. I said nope, computer nerd. But for PS'ers what I know and what I buy is not exactly unusual. Being here raises your standard. Sometimes not always for good...:P2

Did you over react? Maybe. I don't know I wasn't there. Sounds like he was gearing up for small talk! I think sometimes people are a bit clueless in how they present themselves and, lets face it, your ring is probably something he had never seen before in person.
 
Arcadian said:
Sounds like he was gearing up for small talk! I think sometimes people are a bit clueless in how they present themselves and, lets face it, your ring is probably something he had never seen before in person.
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I tend to agree with this thinking... since OP said they don't carry many larger stones, he probably got excited and wanted check it out, although he probably should've asked first. Maybe, in his excitement and/or curiosity about such a large, nice stone, he got all weird?? Who knows...

I also avoid B&M jewelry stores. It's unnerving to be given incorrect information, or even worse -- to be **CORRECTED** by someone who is flat out wrong. I just go along with it and GTFO. Idiots. ;)
 
My higher end jewelry place (locally owned, not a mall chain store) asks a lot of questions too. They won't clean anything or repair anything until they know exactly what it is, where I bought it, how often I wear it, and until they've inspected it pretty carefully under a loop or microscope. It's a safety thing to make sure nothing will crack, break, fall out, or dissolve from not being what they were told it was prior to touching it in a way that would make them liable for replacing it. Plus, there are people who try to scam jewelers by bringing in things that they claim to be one thing but are really another so that they can accuse them of breaking things or swapping out high quality stones for lower ones.
 
Humm...sometimes if I go to a jewelry store and they see my rings and asked to be cleaned, I just say no thank you so I can avoid being a captured audience. Nothing worse than you wanting to leave the store, but they got your ring and you having to wait like 10 minutes because it’s still being ‘cleaned.’ Like others said if the salesperson was just really honest, he could of just asked if it was ok to look up the stats because he admires your ring so much...he shouldn’t have held it hostage..and your ring didn’t get cleaned after all!:eek2:
 
UMmmm....WEIRD

I woulda been outta there. MAybe faster than you. Yeah my tolerance level for that kind of rudeness, invasiveness and presumptuousness is nil.
 
Yeah I am with you...you didn't overreact. He should have asked permission first. That is sort of intimate and personal and he should have asked if it was OK IMO.
 
Some stores have a policy to in front of the customer find the inscription or other identifying features and discuss them with the customer before working on anything.
I actually think its a good idea to look up the numbers, I think many more people would be comforted than thinking its over stepping.
If questions ever come up they have a base line that on such and such a date the stone was verified against the labs report check.
Which is one of the big reasons they created it.

That is not to say he did not handle it in a creepy manner.
I am just saying done right it could be a free value add that many people like.
 
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