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Diamonds in retirement homes

kenny

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 30, 2005
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My late mother lived her last days in a retirement home.
One morning she awoke to find her wedding ring gone.

Do people usually not bring jewelry when they move into such assisted living centers, or even spend a night in any hospital for that matter?
It seems like falling asleep where people can get to you is not safe for jewelry.
 
Yes Kenny, unfortunately it's very possible for jewelry to be stolen in such places...when my mother was at a rehab center we were advised by a nurse to take her jewelry home. It's sad, but reality I guess.
 
Oh, I'm so sorry, Kenny. What a heartbreaker for your mom -- and you. It does happen, sad to say. Wish they had given you the same advice Junebug got. Condolences to all of you.

--- Laurie
 
That's just horrible! Some people have no shame :nono:

I used to volunteer in a nursing home and it seemed like people wore modest jewelry (ie wedding bands, a small solitaire), but nothing that really stood out. This could have been done or purpose, or could have been because it was a low income area.

My grandmother's rings went missing last March when she was admitted to the hospital for vertigo. She's not sure what happened. Between the paramedics, the hospital staff, and her housecleaner a lot of people had access to her rings. She was in no shape to keep track of them. She was devastated to lose her original wedding set. Luckily she had inherited my great grandmother's set from her older sister so now she has something to wear.

Unfortunately, I think theft of this sort happens fairly often.
 
One of the last times that my g'ma was in the hospital she went with her rings on. When the family got there the nurse came up to us and said something like, "Thank god you're here, please take these. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them." I was confused, thinking... how could anything happen to them? Are people really that terrible that they would steal from a sick patient?!?! gah
 
bean|1297992939|2854387 said:
One of the last times that my g'ma was in the hospital she went with her rings on. When the family got there the nurse came up to us and said something like, "Thank god you're here, please take these. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them." I was confused, thinking... how could anything happen to them? Are people really that terrible that they would steal from a sick patient?!?! gah
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I know, it's awful isn't it? So depressing.

Kenny, I'm really sorry that happened to your mother, makes me sick.
 
I work in nursing home management, and am embarrassed and saddened to admit this is an awful (infrequent, but not unheard of) truth.
A few things come to mind here: first, underpaid, overworked healthcare workers who do their jobs often thanklessly for peanuts. People who are doing the jobs that no one else wants to do (id be rich if I got paid for everytime I was asked why the hell I wanted to work with old people and am laughed at when people think I wipe old peoples asses for a living...which I don't, but beside the point)unfortunately fall victim of needing to pay their bills and have easy prey.
Second: which people don't want to believe or don't take it seriously....but compromised people do dumb things. They CAN misplace things, but it is so much easier to blame someone else. I have to investigate any missing item...down to missing socks. People tell me about missing checks...and when I look through their drawers with permission...poof! There it is! Mom can be forgetful and lose things, and families like to blame the nursing home first. And also, its funny how residents have so many more missing items around the holidays when they or their family need money to pay for gifts. And they know we will often just replace items or give money for it as to avoid having the department of health investigate us for misappropriation of goods. People work the system.
third: the sweet little lady in the room next to you has dementia and likes to go "shopping" in other rooms. Happens all the time. Or her nice son visits in the evenings and needs some quick cash....

This is NOT to say it happens frequently, that skilled nursing facilities are horrible places that tie people up and take away all of their freedoms. I love what I do and help people on a daily basis which is how I get through the day. But before we quickly go blaming our healthcare workers, we are trying to just keep your loved ones property safe. Bc if it goes missing, we get an even worse reputation than we've already got.

Edit: sorry if this is harsh. Im really sorry her rings went missing, and it is sad that this is the world we unfortunatelyy live in. I just feel picked on for all the terrible things nursing homes do and never praised for taking care of peoples loved ones when they themselves are unable to. Elder abuse is real and is not a joke.
 
That is sad and sorry about the loss of your Mother. My Mom lived in assisted living until she died last August. She was known by her boyfriend as "the girl with 17 rings". lol She loved to wear diamonds. The only things that went missing were a cognac diamond ring and a lovely gold bracelet. I have no doubt that Mom lost them though since I did her laundry and would find the bracelet in the pocket of her jackets on more then one occasion. That and a bunch of facial tissue she put there.

I suspect Goodwill has her missing jewelry now. Probally left in a pocket of her clothes that we did not check very well. I am glad she got to enjoy wearing them when she was alive, although I am sure more then one of my sisters would have been happy to 'hold" them for her. :angryfire:
 
charbie|1298000248|2854468 said:
I work in nursing home management, and am embarrassed and saddened to admit this is an awful (infrequent, but not unheard of) truth.
A few things come to mind here: first, underpaid, overworked healthcare workers who do their jobs often thanklessly for peanuts. People who are doing the jobs that no one else wants to do (id be rich if I got paid for everytime I was asked why the hell I wanted to work with old people and am laughed at when people think I wipe old peoples asses for a living...which I don't, but beside the point)unfortunately fall victim of needing to pay their bills and have easy prey.
Second: which people don't want to believe or don't take it seriously....but compromised people do dumb things. They CAN misplace things, but it is so much easier to blame someone else. I have to investigate any missing item...down to missing socks. People tell me about missing checks...and when I look through their drawers with permission...poof! There it is! Mom can be forgetful and lose things, and families like to blame the nursing home first. And also, its funny how residents have so many more missing items around the holidays when they or their family need money to pay for gifts. And they know we will often just replace items or give money for it as to avoid having the department of health investigate us for misappropriation of goods. People work the system.
third: the sweet little lady in the room next to you has dementia and likes to go "shopping" in other rooms. Happens all the time. Or her nice son visits in the evenings and needs some quick cash....

This is NOT to say it happens frequently, that skilled nursing facilities are horrible places that tie people up and take away all of their freedoms. I love what I do and help people on a daily basis which is how I get through the day. But before we quickly go blaming our healthcare workers, we are trying to just keep your loved ones property safe. Bc if it goes missing, we get an even worse reputation than we've already got.

Edit: sorry if this is harsh. Im really sorry her rings went missing, and it is sad that this is the world we unfortunatelyy live in. I just feel picked on for all the terrible things nursing homes do and never praised for taking care of peoples loved ones when they themselves are unable to. Elder abuse is real and is not a joke.
Click to expand...

You make some good points charbie. We could very well have been told to take home my mom's jewelry so that the facility wouldn't have to be responsible for it. Makes sense - if it's not in the facility, no chance of anything happening, so no chance of the facility being accused of anything. And it's just common sense to not have special pieces of jewelry in such a public place. I guess it's just a reflection of the times we live in, you just have to be careful and on your guard in any situation.
 
Sadly, my grandmother's wedding ring went missing while she was living in an assisted living facility. Based in that experience, I would advise removing jewelry and putting it in a safe place prior to checking into a hospital or assisted living facility.
 
Kenny, I'm so sorry to hear this. :(( It is common, but inexcusable.

I tend to wear a lot of elaborate jewelry just on an everyday basis and I have a major fear of being in an accident and being taken to the hospital and my jewelry getting "lost" in the shuffle. The only jewelry I SHOULD wear is a medic alert to tell people not to medicate with me with all the stuff I'm allergic to: penicillin, morphine, codeine. You know, all the go-to stuff they use for accident victims, which will kill me en route. I've actually considered a tattoo on my chest with my med details. Sexy, right? :rolleyes:

When I get old, maybe I should have my rings sized down until they can't be removed without a blowtorch. . .
 
Happened to my grandmother too.
 
When my grandmother went to a retirement home she gave her diamond jewelry away to her granddaughters. She was advised (I believe by the staff there) not to bring it and she wanted us to enjoy while she was still alive.
 
My grandmother's diamond rings were stolen when she was in the hospital right before she passed. It makes me sick to think about it. I don't know why my grandfather hadn't taken them off of her hands...I guess with everything going on, it didn't occur to him. All I can say is that I hope whoever took it used it to buy food and clothing, as opposed to just wearing her beautiful rings. I'd feel better knowing that they went to good use in some way...
 
Retirement homes and nursing homes are the happy hunting ground for thieves. They'll steal everything: tissues, pajamas, jewelry, subway tokens - you name it, they'll take it. A lot of sadistic people work in private retirement homes and nursing homes because they can easily abuse the patients. If anyone has to go into a nursing home, a state-run home is the safest choice. Almost all of the employees at the state-run homes are working towards nursing degrees or medical degrees and they value their jobs. Not so with the private nursing homes.
 
What an eye-opening thread.
Thanks for the understanding, everyone.

Yes, certainly we should not paint all health care workers with a broad brush.
Like anything, it only takes one bad apple . . .
 
Yes, it happened to our family too. My husband's grandma was in a rehab place (physical rehab) and her room mate, also an elderly lady was stolen from, even the .75 cents for a news paper was taken from her drawer... And even the $1.50 for Bingo money was taken...my husband's grandma had a box of chocolate candy taken from her drawer. I guess there was another woman who also was staying there and she acted as the cop..she told the workers to leave my husband's grandma's stuff alone...nothing was missing after that. Sad.
 
My father lived with my sister for the six months before he died. She hired a live in nurse for him. While we were at the funeral, this woman cleaned the house out. She stole everything from my sister's engagement ring to the jars of quarters that my dad had designated were to go the grandkids.

Every hospital I've ever been in makes you sign papers saying they are not responsible for your jewelry and valuable, and you are advised not to wear anything in to have an operation.

People prey on people who are weaker than they are and they steal things if they think they can get away with it. This has nothing to do with healthcare workers being poorly paid and everything to do with the fact that they can get away with stealing from the old and sick. It is sad, but it is human nature and nothing to do with health care workers in particular.

Actually, I hate to say but when people are old and sick, they often times have more to fear from their nearest and dearest (family members) than the health care workers. I've been amazed at what I have seen family members (such as their children) do around a dying parent, especially one who has property of some kind. Shakespeare didn't write King Lear in a vacuum.
 
I'm so sorry that happened to your mother.

I was admitted to the hospital in Sept. 09. The admitting dr. told my husband to take all my jewelry home with him. My husband said I fought him about my swan necklace and my wedding ring. He also said I insisted that he get a separate plastic bag for each item to be sure nothing got scratched. I don't remember a thing.
 
A friend of mine's mother was actually a thief in a nursing home. She frequently went "shopping" in other peoples rooms for whatever wasn't tied down. Altzheimers will do that to you. They tried to return what they could but I'm sure they didnt find it all. Its not always staff. We also have many patients whose parents have dentures stolen in nursing homes. YUK. Imagine taking someones icky old dentures! I have to clean those things in office so I can't imagine willfully wanting to steal them!
 
When I had to move my mom from a large assisted living facility to a smaller private one, (that was recommended by the
larger facility) they literally stole everything my mom came with. This place came highly recommended. We hadn't sent any jewelry,
but had purchased a new walker and wheelchair, had sent her own handmade quilts and a lovely blanket she had loved. Within a
few weeks every single thing was gone. Every time I visited her, a couple days a week, I asked about the equipment and was told
they were still looking. By this time, she could no longer speak, and I felt it would be too hard on her to move her again because
she was so frail. They weren't harming her physically.

When it came to the final bill I deducted the cost of all the 'lost' equipment from the bill. The other stuff I couldn't put a value
on. It is the biggest regret of my life that I put my dear mom into that place. What a bunch of greedy sharks.

I am so sorry that you mom had her jewelry stolen.
 
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